This is going to be a long chapter...very long...and thats not inlcuding the translation notes and stuff...well...maybe not too long now that I've got to chekc the overall word count. I hope you like it! MILK MADNESS! LOVE POTIONS! AKASUNA NO SASORI! NEJI LOVES KANKUROU!
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF THE OTHER ANIME/MANGA/OTHER MENTIONED HEREIN! I DO OWN:
A toothbrush, numerous bottles of soda, a rather large collection of pencils and/or pencil shavings, a blue mouse, and four toothpicks.
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After the mishaps with Rock Lee (his saké had finally worn off and he was left with a massive hangover.), everyone had somewhat calmed down. The fanfiction writers were drinking tea in the gazebo, Itachi and Azuki had stole Kakashi's hot tub and were now enjoying it (this is the part where people drool over seeing Itachi in a hot tub), Kakashi was flirting with random people, and Tao Ren was making his 5th trip to the refrigerator in the past 30 minutes.
"DUDE, WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP GOING TO THE FRIDGE!" screamed a very-annoyed Horohoro.
"I'M DRINKING MY MILK!"
"SCREW YOUR MILK! YA HEAR THAT!" Horohoro then nabbed Ren's milk and threw it out a window. "HAH!" uh-oh.
"You idiot!" Screamed Ren. "THAT WAS MY LAST BOTTLE! MILK RAGE ATTACK!" Ren then began chasing Horohoro around the kitchen.
-meanwhile-
"This hot tub is great!" squee'd Azuki and she splashed in the hot tub. "Its all bubbly!"
"I never understood why Kakashi had a hot tub. He lives next door to an open-air hot springs resort." Itachi muttered. He sunk under the hot water until only his head was at the surface, and once again his long black hair was flowing around him like a halo. -many fan-peoples drool-
"He lives next to a hot spring!" Azuki screamed with glee. "We should go there sometime!"
"...Sure." Itachi blushed a slight pink as Azuki leaned on his chest and smiled. "That sounds nice."
-back with the others-
"TOBITOBITOBITOBITOBITOBI!" Deidara screamed as he tried to shake the young man off his leg. "WILL YOU LET GO OF ME!"
"But...Zetsu-san isn't here."
"SO!"
"I really want to join Akatsuki!"
"AND YOU THINK THAT HANGING ON MY LEG IS GONNA HELP!"
"Besides, we've already introduced two of the other members of Akatsuki."
Thousands of Naruto and Akatsuki fan-people screamed "WHAT!"
"Yes" Mashashi Kishimoto poofed out of nowhere and pointed at chapter 312. "See here. More akatsukis. This one is Hidan and this one is Kakuzu."
"Thank you, Kishimoto-sensei" Azuki said as she and Itachi poofed into the house.
"Aha. Uchiha Itachi. One of my more popular characters, just like Sasuke." Kishimoto-sensei said, shaking Itachi's hand. Itachi had a 'WTF?' look on his face, which was to be expected seeing as he was shaking hands with the same person that had drawn him. Confusing, hmm?
"OMFG MASASHI KISHIMOTO IS HERE!" suddenly the hoarde of Naruto fans, being led by none other than our very ownDeidara, started stampeding towards Kishimoto-sensei, with 'WE LOVE MASASHI KISHIMOTO' signs in their hands.
"GET 'EM, GIRLS!" Deidara screamed as he flew ahead of the group on his floaty clay birdie thing. That thing is hella cool.
"Uh-oh. It appears that I must make my leave now. It was nice to meet you all!" Masashi Kishimoto-sensei said as he poofed away.
"Well...that was fun.", Itachi said, still bewildered. He had one of those 'OMG what the hell just happened?' looks on his face.
"Um, 'Tachi-san" Azuki said as she shoved her face full of some cooked yakiniku that had magically appeared. Yum. "Why are you so...freaked-out looking?" she dipped some of the food into someponzu sauce that had also magically appeared.
"I just shook hands with the dude that drew me. That MADE me what I am. Thats would be like shaking hands with God or something for you guys! PLUS HE'S A FAMOUS MANGA-KA!" Itachi started hyperventalating. So Anna personally decided to whop him upside the head with Ren. Then...the most horrible thing ever happened (No, Shino didn't laugh; that was episode 186). Ren's spikey thing fell off.
"GASP!" Everyone gasped. Ren's face went all twitchy and then he passed out; foaming at the mouth. Taking advantage of this predicament, an orange spikey-sun-guy picked up the pokey and placed it upon his own pointy head. "WAHAHA! TOMATO! TOMATOOOOOO!" he screamed, running in circles until he ran into Itachi and got knocked out.
Then the Kishimoto-less fangirls put their attention towards a new person...ED! They swarmed all over him until he locked himself in Harry's broom closet and refused to come out. Even when offered tuna-on-rye.
"GET OUT OF MY CLOSET, YOU HOBO!" Harry screamed.
"NO!" Ed then transmuted the door shut so that no one could get in.
Meanwhile...one of the fangirls...-coughcough- Neji -coughcough-...erm...well, he looks like a girl. Anyways, one of the fan-peoples was stirring up something evil in the kitchen.
"Hmm...so if I add...this." he picked up random spices. Suddenly, a tan-skinned woman poofed out of thin air. She floated above Neji's head for a second before screaming. "Aha!" Neji, startled, fell backwards. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!"
"Geez, rude much?" She said. "Anyways, I'm Urd, and from what I see, you're trying to make a looooove potion! Hehehehe..."
"Urd? What a weird name."
"I'M A GODDESS! ALL OUR NAMES OUR WEIRD! MY SISTER'S NAME IS BELLDANDY, WHATS UP WITH THAT!" -cough- "Anyways, do you want my help or not?" she said, annoyed at the cocky young man in front of her.
"Sure, whatever." He said and walked away. "This means I can watch the end of 'All My Children'!" he squee'd.
So Urd set to work on creating the perfect looove potion for Neji. Now who was Neji going to use it on? Ed? No...perhaps his secret crush...KANKUROU! LE GASP!
-meanwhile-
The Ed-less, Harry-less, Masashi Kishimoto-less fangirls were now direction their attention towards Itachi, who was currently hiding under Kakuzu's akatsuki cloak.
"Um, Itachi-san, do you mind? the humongous akatsuki asked. Itachi looked up, realizing just how tall Kakuzu was. They stared at each other for a second. "...GET OUT OF MY COAT!" Itachi sniffed and ran away down the hall while being followed by rabid Uchiha fangirls.
"NOOO!" He yelped and jumped into the refuge of Azuki's room. Once inside, he noticed the familiar messiness had not cleared up. As he tripped over a random stack of old issues of Shonen Gangan, he saw that Azuki was watching him from the ceiling fan. Yes, she was hanging from the fan. Deidara had given her the idea while ago. "A..Azuki! What are you doing up there!"
"Hangin out." She couldn't contain her laughter as she saw the young man's 'WTF' expression. "OMG ITACHI YOU LOOK SO FUNNY!" she jumped down and hugged Itachi. He cringed as he heard the fangirls stampeding towards the hall. Azuki saw his pained expression as he thought about all the cruel and unusual things the fangirls (and even fanboys would do to him if they found him. "Itachi-san.." she buried her head in his chest, "You can hide from them in here for a while..." she whispered. He gulped, sweat trickling down his neck. "Is she..." he thought. Azuki puller herself closer to his face and kissed him. The sound of the stampede was slowly growing louder as the hallway rumbled outside. Itachi slowly locked the door and shut of the lights just as the fangirls began making their way down the hall.
-with Deidara-
Deidara was currently sitting on his floaty-clay-birdie-thing playing his Nintendo DS. The new one. The new PINK one that he had borrowed from Sasori. Deidara seemed to borrow a lot of Sasori's stuff. Especially the pink stuff.
"DEIDARA! HAVE YOU SEEN MY DS!" Sasori yelled from...somewhere? He came tumbling down the stairs, Hiruko puppet in tow. Upon realizing that the Iwa-nin was once again borrowing his stuff (luckily it wasn't his pink boxers like last time; he'd just told Deidara to keep those.) he exploded into FURY! No, not Fuery, FURY! "DEIDARA! GIVE ME MY DS!" They promptly began a game of 'Chase The Genderless Artist', and they went tumbling throughout the hallways. Like tumbleweeds! Deidara and Sasori are tumbleweeds!
-in the kitchen-
-cough- DeidaraxSasori FOREVER! -cough-
Urd had long-since fallen asleep while making Neji's love potion. As she snored in a chair to the side of the room, a drowsy Temari dragged herself in the door.
"Ugh...goddammit...I couldn't sleep at all last night. Gaara kept...staring at me. With those weird raccoon-eyes...just cuz he's got a bad case of Shukaku-insomnia..." she looked around for something, anything, that looked alchoholic and would keep her from falling asleep. She glanced at the cauldron of gook on the stove where Urd had been cooking. "Hmmm..." she sniffed the fumes coming off its surface. "Ugh...smells disgusting...and a little like tequila..." she paused for a second before dipping a mug in the stuff and taking a huge swig of it. "GAAH!" she grabbed at her throat. The taste was just too horrible. Suddenly, she was overcome by a senastion that felt like..a sensation of some sort. "Geez, what was in that stuff?" She muttered as she stumbled out the door. She looked around, still feeling a little woozy. All of a sudden, the 'Chase the Genderless Artist' duo came crashing down the stairway. Temari gasped as she ran over to see if they were all right.
"Ugh...SASORI YOU DUMBASS! YOU MADE ME EAT A LAMP!" Deidara sputtered as one of his hand-mouths coughed up a mangled lamp.
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHOLE STARTED THIS!" Sasori screamed. The young kunoichi rushed over to them.
"Are you all-right?" she asked. They both nodded. "Well, in that case, YOU IDIOTS! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DO-" she stopped, mid-sentance, as she gazed upon Sasori's un-puppeted face. Little hearts appeared in her eyes as the love potion took full effect. "I...I.." Kankurou, seeing his sister's plight, came rushing to her aide.
"Temari, hey! Are you all-right?" he looked at her as she covered her face.
"Yes...I...I..."
"You what?"
"I..I THINK I'M IN LOVE!" little hearts swarmed around her faster than a kikaichu swarm around Shino (who's hot, by the way). She proceeded to glomp Sasori as he attempted to run away. She fell to the ground as he dashed down the hall.
"NOOO! COME BACK MY LOVE!" she chased after him with the little hearts dloating all around her head.
Maito Gai stood on the sidelines and watched. "Ahh, the power of youth." Then was promptly attacked by fangirls asking him, "WHERE IS LEE! WE NEED ROCK LEE!' Ah yes, my friend Melody was in the group as well.
Meanwhile, Kyuubi was enjoying the conveniently-placed hot tub outside. Naruto was just...dead somewhere or something. Nah, I won't be that cruel. He was hiding under the cabinets, stroking a pack of instant ramen while muttering "The Precious..." over and over.
TO BE CONTINUED(?)
AS ALWAYS, notes:
1. Tao Ren and Horohoro are from Shaman King. Ren has a pokey thing on his hair and drinks a lot of milk. Horohoro is the LIFE OF THE PARTY!
2. I don't really need to explain what hot springs are, do I? If you don't know, please Google it. Open-air hot springs are the ones that are outside with no walls around them.
3. Masashi Kishimoto-sensei is the creator of Naruto. I admire him and his art very much, thus I refer to him with the '-sensei' honourific instead of simply '-san' or '-sama'.
4. Kakuzu and Hidan are two of the newest members of Akatsuki. By 'newest' I mean most recently introduced. These are not 'new' members. They've been members for a while. They premiered in Chapter 312 of Naruto manga. Hidan is very tall/large, giving Itachi plenty of room to hide under his coat. If you'd like to see their profiles, Wikipedia has the best description so-far.
5. Yakiniku, or 'Yakiniku-Q' is korean-style barebeque, where you cook your own meats, fish, poultry, etc. on a grille in the middle of the table. Its very delicious.
6. Yes, Aburame Shino laughed (a lot)in episode 186 of Naruto anime. I was HILARIOUS!Did I mention that I like him? His hair is so fuzzy! SHINO IS AFRO MAN! He's like the only (hot) Japanese guy with an afro! Thats so awesome!
7. The 'orange spikey sun-guy' is Don Patchi from Bo bo bo- Bo-bo Bo Bo. He is extremly crazy and random. But then again, the entire show is crazy and random.
8. Yeppie, I put Harry Potter in here. I myself and a huge fan of the Harry Potter series, and if you have any problem with that, well, good for you.
9. Urd is from the series Ah! Megami-sama, aka Ah! My Goddess. Its recently become more popular with the release of the new anime series, and I have always been a big fan of the manga too. Belldandy is one of the main characters from the series; she's verrry kind and pretty.
10. Yes, Neji watches Soap Operas like 'All My Children'. At least, in my opinion he does. And one of my Neji pairings is the weird-yet-funny NejixKankurou.
11. Shounen Gangan is a manga magazine similar to Shounen Jump, etc, by Square Enix that comes out every month in Japan. I subscribe, and currently have a giant pile of issues sitting in the floor of my room.
12. Gaara has Shukaku-insomnia. Meaning that, because Shukaku would take over his personality if he did, Gaara doesn't sleep. Ever. Well...maybe after the whole 'akatsuki-shukaku-Gaara-kidnappey-Deidara thing he does, but I'm not sure. Then he'd loose the lines around his eyes! HE WOULDN'T BE THE GAARA THAT WE'VE ALL COME TO KNOW AND LOVE! Kyuubi is Naruto's bijuu-thingy. Yeah...
13. Yes! Randonly inserted Lord of the Rings quote! 'The Precious..' is what Gollum says about 'The Ring' thingy.
So, there ya go! The long-awaited chapter 6! I'll try to update sooner this time!
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