w00t! I'm back! And here's a new chapter of 'All in the Name of Randomness'! It took me a while to think of something, because NO ONE WAS REVIEWING! C'mon peeps, is the story THAT BAD? Please, I need your feedback and reccomendations. Enjoy this newest chapter.
Wrote while listening to Flock of Seagulls. wh33t.
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF THE OTHER ANIME/MANGA/OTHER MENTIONED HEREIN!
C'mon, how much longer must I write this disclaimer? I think we all know that I don't own Naruto.
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Suddenly, some hippie from the 60's fell from the sky.
"I have returned to guide you in the ways of nature and love." The hippie said, doing a yoga pose. Yoga sounds like yoghurt. I like yoghurt!
"Great! Now that you're here..." Finder77 held out a chicken "Fight this chicken!"
"I do not condone violence, so I will not duel with the poultry." and with that, the chicken was freed. Or rather, it clawed its way out of its cage."
Meanwhile, Kankurou, Zetsu, Ed, Kimimaro, and some more random anime people stood watching the scene in awe. Stupefied awe. Oh, by the way, Azuki and Itachi are back this chapter! They're done doing...erm...that. Azuki was chasing the chicken screaming, "I LOVE CHICKENS!"
"Um, question." Kimimaro raised his hand. "Is she really that dumb?"
"Don't call my girlfriend dumb, bonehead." Itachi hit Kimimaro on the head. Owwies.
"DO NOT HARM THE ENFEEBLED, MEANIE-HEAD!" Kimimaro screamed at Itachi, then started munching on some cheese that magically appeared from nowhere in particular. CALCIUM!
-meanwhile-
"I like milk." Ren said, hiding behind a couch.
"Good for you. Now shut up and be a good hider." Rock Lee said as he also hid behind the couch. Ashley was hiding there too. They were hiding from Anna, who had teamed up with Winry and were rampaging.
"Hey, you. Crazy lady." Ren said, poking Ashley. "Why haven't you just killed Winry already?"
"Yeah, you're the homicidal one here." Lee whispered.
"Two reasons: 1. Death Penalty. 2.Wood chipper broken." Ashley said. The two boys stared in fear and awe. "Thats one helluva woman." they thought.
Winry must Die.
-back to the others-
"O-kay, now for todays adventure...we're going grocery/supply shopping!" Azuki said, holding up a piece of paper. "This is the list!"
"Woah! Paper!" Orochimaru said, poking it. "Its so...flat!" Tayuya bonked him on the head. "Lay off the crack, Colonel Asshole"
Suddenly, Roy burst through the door. "He's not Colonel Asshole...I AM!" he was wearing a Superman-ish cape, too. And doing that 'All female officers will wear miniskirts' pose too.
"Um, sir, you do realize you just called yourself an asshole, right?" Hawkeye said, sighing.
"Umm...maybe..." Roy said with shifty eyes.
Azuki cleared her throat. "Anyways, who's gonna come with me to the grocery store?" she asked.
"Oooh! Me! Me!" Deidara waved his hand back and forth rapidly.
"O-kay, fine. Deidara, and whom else?" she said, looking at Itachi.He saw Azuki was staring at him, "No way. I hate grocery stores!"
"Aw, c'mon Itachi...please?" she gave him puppy eyes. He looked away and she came over and whispered in his ear, "I'll let you buy the economy sized box of doughnuts this time..." his eyes lit up. Azuki NEVER let him buy the big box-o-doughnuts, probably because last time he'd bought them he'd tried to wrap one around Orochimaru's neck to strangle him.
"O-kay. But only if you let me get the doughnuts." he muttered. "The chocolate glazed ones."
Azuki smiled and hugged him "Of course, Itachi-san. Would I lie to you?"
"Maybe. You did when you bought the chickens." Itachi said. Flashback time! w00ter!
-flashback-
"I wonder where Azuki is? She's been out for a while now..." Itachi sat on the couch in the sitting room, where Zetsu was reading the paper, and Sakon was making origami.
Clucking was heard from the doorway. "Thats funny...we don't have any chickens.." Itachi thought. Here's a look inside the thoughts of some other people!
Zetsu was thinking, "Ooh...free-range meat...er..poultry. Not as good as people, but still tasty."
Sakon was thinking, "Bastard chickens, shut up! You're wrecking my concentration! I'm trying to make a paper crane!"
Now, back to the reality of the flashback.
Azuki stumbled in the door, her jacket bulging. The clucking had stopped, but it was obvious the chickens were not gone.
"Azuki-chan, what's in your jacket?" Itachi asked, poking her jacket.
"N-nothing! Its always been this way!" Azuki stuttered.
"Oh, so its always had a chicken's head sticking out of the pocket?"
She looked at her right pocket, which, sure enough, had a chicken in it.
"Ralph! You were supposed to stay hidden until I could hide you in my room!" she said frantically. Suddenly, all the chickens she'd been hiding bustled out of her jacket and ran away through the house. "Noo! Charley! Lola! Maurine! Come back!"
-end flashback-
Nice place to end the flashback, eh?
"I remember that. I woke up to find a chicken pecking my hand, un. It tasted like crackers." Deidara said.
"Alright, alright, I get it. So I lied once. Big-whoopdie-flippin-deal." she stared at Itachi, who was grinning mischeviously. "Whats up with you?", she asked him.
"Oh, nothing. Just thinking." he said.
ITACHI'S MIND!
-These thoughts have been censored in order to retain the sanity of our viewers.-
UHH...YEAH!
"Hey, why'd you name the chicken Maurine?" asked Deidara, who was hanging from the ceiling fan.
"Because we started off with two chickens; Maurine and Joanne." Azuki replied. "But Joanne ran away."
"Zomg, I didn't know you were a fan of RENT?" Deidara squealed, flabbergasted.
"Zomg!" so Azuki and Deidara did the 'ZOMG happy happy RENT fan dance'. Then they all went to the grocery store.
After piling out of the car, Azuki, Itachi, Kisame, Roy, Deidara, and some more peoples ran into the grocery store like kids in a candy store. By the way, they didn't just go to ANY grocery store. they went to...ZOMG...COSTCO!
"HOLD IT!" Azuki screamed. Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked at her. "We still don't know what we were going to buy." she waved the list again. "Thats whyI brought this."
"All hail the magical list of shopping-ness!" orochimaru said, bowing down to the list.
"Seriously, what's he been smoking?" Kisame asked.
"Oh, a little of this, a little of that." Orochimaru said casually. Everyone just stared at him. "What? I'm kidding! Geez, you guys need to lighten up!"
So, in a desperate attempt to 'lighten up' they all floated up to the clouds and ate marshmallows. Except Roy. Marshmallows give him gas. Then they came back down to earth.
"Now, what were we doing, again?" Azuki asked, picking a piece of cloud out of her ear. No, not those clouds! The kind in the sky!
"Did someone say my name?" Cloud said as he poofed out of...nowhere really. Then a scream was heard from rabid Final Fantasy fangirls as they noticed their beloved Cloudy-poo was here.
"ZOMG ITS CLOOOOUUUUUUDDD!" they all screamed as they ran over and carried Cloud away in a stampede of fangirlyness.
"Wow. That was..." Roy started.
"...random, un." Deidara finished.
"Hmm yeah so o-kay, what was on the list..." Azuki said. Deidara snatched it out of her hand and tore it up.
"List-smisht. I, Deidara, the Ultimate Impule Shopper, will assit you in your shopping needs, un!" and for some reason, Deidara had ties his Akatsuki cloak around his neck like a cape.
"What are you, Superman or something?" Itachi asked.
"No, I am...SUPER DEIDARA!" he screamed majestically, flying around the room. "See? You can't see that I'm being yanked around by a theatrical wire! Ahahaha! AHHH, UN!" and he fell to his doom into the waters beneath the Seven Mile Bridge. "AHHH! I'M DROWNING! I CAN'T SWIM, UN!" he sputtered, flopping about like a chicken with its head cut off...or something.
"You idiot, the water's only 3 feet deep." Its true. At some spots of the Seven Mile Bridge the water is only a few feet deep.
"Oh..." Deidara stood up. "I knew that, un."
BACK TO SHOPPING!
"Lets see..." Deidara and Azuki were looking around on the 'SNACK' aisle. "Do we need fruit gummies shapped like characters from Veggie Tales? I think we do.." Azuki muttered as she put 5 boxes of them in the cart.
"Oooh! Get some sunflower seeds too!" Deidara said, holding up an economy-sized bag of sunflower seeds. "Yeah, un!" Azuki clapped in glee as they began throwing more and more things into their cart.
Meanwhile, Itachi and Kisame were going down the frozen foods aisle. Oh and Sakon too.
"Lets get some TV dinners for...well no reason really. I just like them" Kisame said, putting a bunch of different TV dinners in the cart. Itachi shrugged and did the same.
"Why did you get all those Lean Cuisine meals?" Kisame asked.
"I'm watching my figure." Itachi replied, stoicly.
"ZOMG what the hell is wrong with you?" Kisame asked.
"Well...you see..." he burst out into overly-dramatic tears "SASUKE CALLED ME...F...FAT!" he bawled.
"Itachi-san, you aren't fat...Jiroubou is fat." Sakon said, patting his back.
And now to Jiroubou, Chouji and that one fat guy from Speed Grapher episode 1.
"Hey, lets get the economy sized beef jerky tub!" Jiroubou squealed like the little piggy he was.
"Yeah, and while we're at it, can I get the ultra-big-box-of-bags-of chips?" Chouji siad, holding up a box full of bags of his favourite chips. They all started piling things into their cart.
Pretty soon, they all met up at the giant kayak in the middle of the store. Itachi Kisame and Sakonhad a whole cart full of TV dinners, the Chubby Crew had a cart full of economy-sizedsnack food,Deidara and Azuki had two carts full of everything but the kitchen sink, and Envy had a cart full of...Envy. Yesh, he was sitting in a cart, in the middle of the store. After everyone gad congregated there, their was silence as they stared at the homonculus.
"Um...Envy? Why are you sitting in a shopping cart in the middle of the store?"
"Cuz I feel like it." Envy said.
So they all stood there in slience until a huge thunderbolt struck outside and the power flickered on and off. They all screamed "AAAH!" at the loud 'BOOM'.
"Hey, they power's out." Envy said
"Way to state the obvious, un." Deidara said sarcastically.
"Yeah, no shit sherlock, we can all see the darkness." Neji spat, mad that he'd dropped his free sample of Aunt Jemima Pancakes.
Suddenly, a voice came over the intercom.
"ATTENTION EVERYONE! I JUST PEED MY PANTS!" one announcer said.
"GOOD FOR YOU!" the people screamed in response.
The other announcer then came over the intercom, "Ahem, my apologies for my co-worker's stupidity. I'm sorry to report that due to that huge lightning thing, the store will be closed until we can remove the tree from in front of the door. So, in other words, if you need to get out, you're pretty much screwed." and then the intercom clicked off.
"Wow, he's sure polite, isn't he?" Itachi said sarcastically.
"So, what? Are we stuck here?" Sakon asked
"Yes. I suppose so..." a cardboard cutout of John Kerry said.
"Shit! Now I'm gonna miss the new episode of 'Days of Our Lives'!" Sakon cried. Tayuya came over and cried too.
"And I'm gonna miss Puni Puni Poemy!" the redhead cried. So Sakon and Tayuya did a 'Sad-cry-no-go-tv' dance of doom and sadness.
"O-kay, if you two are done, can we-" but whoever was talking got cut off by...THE DOOM SONG!
So Gir and a monkey came to sing the doom song.
"And then Itachi came out of Bobobo's head with a corndog and some tofu!"
TO BE CONTINUED...or something.
Notes:
1. Ashley is a friend of mine in real life, and the quote I made her say about why she hasn't killed Winry is actually something she wrote in our group fanfiction.
2. Finder77 is one of my bestest fanfiction friends. Check out her profile and stories!
3. I don't want to go too in-depth with anything else, so I'll just let you figure the rest out on your own. If you have any questions or comments, well REVIEW! Or PM me.
Haha...about time I updated, eh? Well, life's tough, and although it took a while to update, thats the way it goes. I'll update soon, I promise!
PLEASE REVIEW, FOR THE SAKE OF TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND REALLY GOOD SUSHI!
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