Disclaimer: If I owned Final Fantasy, you'd know it.

Seifer walked in on either the most arousing… or most disturbing image ever. Fujin and Squall were both nude, embracing each other as they slumbered. He felt a sharp pain in his chest. Leave it to Leonhart to steal his woman… as a woman! He yanked Squall out of bed.

"Get up!" Seifer threw his jacket over her shoulders. "We're going to fix this."

Squall was too dazed to protest. Fujin was left sleeping as Seifer nearly dragged Squall through the hall past hundreds of curious eyes to Edea's chambers.

Squall finally had the sense to pull away. "Where are you taking me?"

Seifer matched her ice-gaze, then slowly responded trying to sound as serious as possible. "Oh, I thought now would be a good time to test you out as a woman. I bet you give good head."

"Seifer," she half-growled. It was all the threat one needed, unless of course, you were Seifer.

"I'm taking you to Edea. I can't stand to look at you like this."

Then he added, "You make an ugly woman," knowing she had yet to see herself.

"You know I plan to kill you for this?"

"Why? Because I wounded your pride?" He smirked. "Or because I made you want me?"

If Squall hadn't been using both hands to hold up Seifer's ridiculously large coat, she would've punched him right then.

Squall took her normal route and responded with cold silence.

He went on, "It would be funny though. To have Squall Leonhart as one of my conquests… Squall, are you a virgin?"

He got in her face, almost making her blush, but that would be a very un-Squall-like thing to do.

"Fuck you, Seifer."

"Wasn't that just what I was saying?"

Seifer was about to open the door when he remembered, "Oh and thanks for fucking my girlfriend. When I get you back to normal, I'm kicking your ass for that."

She just shook her head.

Edea was already awake and going over war strategies. She didn't even look up to greet them. "What is it, pet?"

"Change him back now."

"That's very bold of you to bark orders at me like that. I'm not sure I like it."

"This isn't some kind of game!"

"Oh? And why do you care? Only two days ago, you had him in chains threatening his life. Do you get off on torturing boys? Because I know for a fact how much you enjoy the company of women."

That comment left Squall wondering.

"Edea look-"

"Ah. Enough. I can see inside your head, little boy. Man or woman you'd enjoy that child."

At this point, Edea had cast a spell on Squall. She dropped Seifer's coat and ran towards him. Even though Squall's advances were forced, he couldn't help but become aroused.

"Edea!" He held Squall by the shoulders away from him. "Not like this!"

"So you admit you want her?"

"Of course I do!"

She released Squall from her magic, and she collapsed against Seifer's chest.

"What about…?"

"Oh can't you see I'm busy?! Leave me!"

Seifer carried Squall out quickly barely remembering to get his coat. He set her down outside the door. She obviously didn't recall her actions because the first thing to leave her mouth was, "You're sleeping with the sorceress!"