Epilogue: Nothing's the Same Anymore

"These constellations
Gleaming at us from afar
They give rise to frigid memories
In my mind
My stellar mementos are the brightest
Signs that twinkle away

Infinity, the Faustian spirit,
Disheartened, by all
I will never get up there alone
But still I will always percieve
Their company
I honor the farthest fall
His fall, I, I... "

--Arcturus – The Bodkin and the Quietus

Adrian looked around his living room, his possessions packed into boxes around him. Now that he was to join the military and spend four years in a dormitory with minimal pay until his training was complete, he would have to sell his house and much of the things in it. He had already given his stereo system to Rex, unwilling to sell the thing he treasured most to a stranger. He sat down on one of the boxes and sighed, wondering if he had any idea what he was really getting into.

The sun was setting out the window, as if to symbolize the end of his life as a civilian. His application had already been accepted, so there was no turning back. The naval college would not allow him to bring much—two changes of street clothes for when he was off duty, some books and music, soap and other toiletries, and a portable music player. Everything else he needed would be issued to him.

He had had his twenty-second birthday only a few days ago, and he all of a sudden felt years older. He could no longer drift through life, searching for a bigger and better paycheck. By joining the military, he would put down an anchor, something to stabilize his life

He picked up the duffel bag that held the things he was taking and walked outside, where the recruitment officer was waiting for him.

"Well, are you ready?" the recruiter said.

Adrian nodded and boarded the bus, sitting down on one of the hard vinyl seats. The bus reeked of sweat and fear, and the young men around him looked just as nervous and uneasy as he was.

Adrian looked upon his old house one last time as the bus pulled away.

--

Riptos lay in his bed, resting after hours of occupational and physical therapy. The therapy sessions were always exhausting for him as the therapists tried to help him wring every last bit of function he could out of his broken body. He went to therapy three times a week, and stayed there for as long as he could endure. He could now sit up unassisted, but he still could not control his lower body or control his bowels for more than a few seconds.

Sometimes he tried to comfort himself by reminding himself that he was better off than some of the other patients he had seen in therapy. Some were quadriplegics, unable to move anything from the neck down (or move anything at all, in the case of one poor raccoon who had a halo brace screwed into his head to completely immobilize him). Riptos could now bathe in a tub instead of being scrubbed down by Elena, now that he could sit up, although he would still have to rely on Elena to help him manage his "incontinence equipment", as the doctors euphemistically termed it, and clean him up whenever the inevitable consequences of incontinence manifested themselves.

Riptos' children were understandably shocked when they learned what had happened to him, and even more so when they actually saw him. His daughter Katja had cried inconsolably for days, and his son Ryudo expressed his sorrow more subtly, becoming gloomy and despondent. It had taken weeks for them to fully adjust to and accept the new situation with their family.

Riptos looked over at the doorway as Ryudo walked into the room. The boy had obviously been out for a swim, as he was wearing swim trunks and his brown fur was somewhat damp. "Hey, Dad," he said as he came over to Riptos' bedside. "How are you feeling?"

"Dog tired," said Riptos. He reached up and brushed his fingers through the fur on Ryudo's lower back. "Damn, I miss swimming."

"I feel so sorry for you," said Ryudo as he knelt to be on eye level with his father.

"Don't be," said Riptos, brushing the long spines trailing from Ryudo's head to rub him between the shoulder blades. "We all have to make sacrifices sometimes. My sacrifice was bigger than most. I did it for you, your sister, and your mother, and now I have to live with the consequences. I know you've had a hard time coping with it all. Don't hesitate to talk to me or your mother if you need support. It's not a good thing to bottle it all up inside."

"Dad?"

"Yes."

"I love you."

"And I love you, too. Now, I think you should go take a shower to wash the chlorine out of your fur. I need my rest anyway. I've had a hard day." Riptos drew his son closer to kiss him on the forehead and then let him go.

As Ryudo left the room, Riptos rolled onto his side, dragging his useless legs along with his torso, and drew the blanket over his shoulders. Soon it would be time for him to find a new path in life. For months, he had not left his house except for going to therapy. The isolation was getting to him.

And besides, there was a whole universe out there.

With a sigh, Riptos closed his eyes and fell asleep, letting dreams carry him away. "Nothing's the same anymore," he said as he drifted out of consciousness.

Here ends Chaos Rising.