Title: Paranoia
Type: One-shot
Rating: T
Genre(s): Angst.
Summary: You let Mutsuki die… you couldn't turn him into a butterfly…! You couldn't even save your best friends… Yae is gone and you'll never see her again because you're dead and all you can hear is Sae's manic laughter… The Malice is getting to Itsuki.
Notes: Why didn't I write something Itsuki-centric before?
Warning: Quite dark.
Paranoia
Sae was back now, he heard.
He had gone through all that trouble—all those nights spend pouring over books, trying to find a way out, wasted!—just to set them free, but now Sae was back and he was trapped in the storehouse.
Itsuki wondered if Yae had escaped. As far as he knew, it was only Sae who had returned. Where was Yae? He knew that Yae would never leave her sister. So why had Sae returned alone?
Itsuki knelt near the desk—one of the only pieces of furniture in this tiny, barren cell—and let his eyes drift over the room.
It was a bad idea from the start, for after all, when you've killed someone (yes, you did, you know you did, you strangled him to death with your own hands and ALL FOR NOTHING) it's always foolish to let your mind wander.
You failed, Itsuki, you couldn't turn him into a butterfly because you were too damn weak and only cared about yourself and what comes of that?
HE'S GONE. He's not a butterfly (how stupid, an insect, why would he want to be one anyway?); he's not in the village; he's not part of you because YOU KILLED HIM. HE'S DEAD DEAD DEAD BECAUSE YOU CHOKED HIM TO DEATH.
Itsuki's dimming eyes (don't cry, don't cry, Mutsuki hated it when you cried) found a rope in the corner. It was thick, endurable, coated with dust.
He crawled over to it on his hands and knees, and lifted it up into his lap. (It's heavy, really heavy, just like the weight of Mutsuki's wasted life on your shoulders!) He spent the better part of an hour contemplating his options before he went over to the desk and climbed atop it.
Itsuki smiled when he saw that he was just tall enough to wrap the rope around the wooden beams of the creaking ceiling. Carefully he knotted the cord around the support and weaved a makeshift noose. All this time, his mind wandered.
You're about to die, Itsuki, you'll choke to death just like he did and you'll feel what he did when he found there was no air to breathe and died so slowly, so painfully…
Itsuki slipped the noose over his delicate neck and looked down at the desk below his feet. The desk that could be so easily pushed over.
Was he brave enough to do this?
How dare you deny yourself this now, Itsuki! You coward, you aren't brave like Mutsuki. Your brother was brave; he died for you, because of you, but for nothing so DON'T TELL ME YOU WON'T DO THE SAME!
Itsuki shut his eyes tightly, smiled, and kicked the desk out from under him.
It wasn't like he would have thought.
His neck didn't snap like he thought it would.
It wasn't painful like he thought it would be.
It was, however, slow, so torturously slow… as he knew it would be.
He dangled there, gasping for breath (just like Mutsuki, exactly the same as if his hands were around your neck) until the air ran out and his heart slowed and slowed until there was nothing left and silently, Tachibana Itsuki died in the dark.
oOo
That sound, what was that sound?
Itsuki stood before the window in his little storehouse, gazing out into the little empty garden. There were a couple crimson butterflies fluttering around the Twin Deities Statue (neither of those were Mutsuki because you FAILED HIM).
But what was that godforsaken sound?
Itsuki closed his eyes and remembered.
Sae… she knelt in front of the cell's door, weeping desperately into her hands. Itsuki tried to reach out to her, but found he couldn't move. She was sobbing, wailing into her hands… his name. Over and over.
And memory flooded him, and his hands flew to his neck. Yes, he felt it; his throat was burned and saved by rope.
Death had denied him! Death had refused him! For what he had done to Mutsuki, Death had been cruel and sent Itsuki back to the mortal plane!
You could have been with him, Itsuki, but this is your punishment for murdering your brother!
Just as Itsuki realized this was not his own voice speaking, he realized what that sound was. Someone was laughing. A female.
The sound filled his ears, harsh and loud and piercing. It came from all around, and Itsuki spun to find the origin, even though there was no need. He recognized that voice.
Sae.
She was laughing? Perhaps, then, she was alive?
She's dead, you fool, said that same voice as before, amused. Dead because you failed her just like you failed Mutsuki.
"Stop." Itsuki's voice seemed foreign even to him. Foreign, and deserving of no pity.
The voice continued, The ritual failed because you let Yae get away. It's your fault, Itsuki, that darkness has spread over this land. It's your fault that death has denied all the denizens of this village. You do no longer deserve to be forgiven.
How much time had passed?
A day, a month, a year? Perhaps more, decided Itsuki as he looked around his dust-coated cell. Yes, years had he waited in limbo for Death, only to be denied.
Itsuki wept bitterly into his palms, just like Sae had done when she saw his body hanging from the ceiling, a shell that would be denied salvation.
Had it not been for your cowardice, said the Malice, Mutsuki would be a butterfly, and the inhabitants of this village would be living in light rather than darkness. You cursed the home you once claimed to love to never ending night!
Footsteps pounded outside the storehouse. Itsuki glanced up, wiped his eyes, and went to the window. There, he saw Yae.
"You're alive," he choked at her, reaching out only to see her recoil. "What ails you?" the boy demanded, tears flowing freely from his eyes once more. This seemed only to confuse her. "Do you not see what I have done to the village, Yae?"
"Who are you?" said she.
Itsuki stood back, and the Malice cackled, the noise rising over even Sae's constant laughter.
You fool, declared the voice, this girl cares not for you. She is not Yae. She holds no love for you, no happiness at seeing you. Look at her, Itsuki. You disgust her; she can see your evil deeds, for you wear them in your eyes!
"Help me," begged the girl, crying along with the phantom boy. "My sister, Mayu!"
Sister?
Itsuki leapt at the bars.
"I don't know what happened," sobbed the girl. "What's going on? My twin, where is she?"
A flicker of hope ignited deep within Itsuki's bones. This girl, she could complete the ritual and restore the village to light! Itsuki could atone for his sins, he could finally die and be in peace! He could finally join Mutsuki!
How selfish, mocked the Malice. You do not care for the fate of this girl, for her sister? She may die for the sake of your salvation!
"Go to the Kurosawa Mansion across the bridge. To get there, you need two keys," urged Itsuki, digging in his robes and pulling out one. He threw it at the girl's feet and instructed, "There is another like it hidden in a Twin Deities Statue in the village! Hurry!"
The girl nodded thank you and fled. Itsuki collapsed against the cell wall and began to cry again, for his brother; for his best friends who he didn't save; for the girl, and her sister, because had just happily sold their souls to see Mutsuki again.Fin.
Author's Notes: This was written at one in the morning. I got the idea, wondered to myself why I had never before devoted a one-shot to Itsuki, and began to write. When I was finished, I turned to my clock thinking that it must be about one-thirty… but no. It was two-thirty.
Aside, I like this a lot! Obviously, I messed with the Mio-meets-Itsuki scene a bit, changing all the dialogue and, of course, Itsuki's ultimate goal. But wouldn't that be interesting if that had been his wish all along?
Okay. Review. I'm going back to bed.