She sat in a dark corner of the bar, quietly watching the activity around her. She was very pleased with herself. She knew from watching Bobby at the scene of Nancy Vogler's murder that he had been badly shaken. She had proven to herself that she could still get to him. She knew what it took to get to Bobby Goren.
As if in tune with her thoughts, he came into the bar with his friend from the squad. Wallace smiled. She would never have pegged him for a creature of habit, but he did seem to like this smoky little bar. She had been stalking him for months and Sundays always seemed to bring him here.
It was well past midnight when she followed him from the bar, measuring up the woman who was with him. This was turning into a nightmare for him, but she was enjoying herself immensely. It hadn't been difficult to convince Nancy Vogler to let her in to the apartment, and then she'd easily seduced the woman, drugged her and, before the drugs had rendered her unconscious, strangled the life from her.
She'd arranged the body, left the apartment and kept up her surveillance until the police were finally called to the scene. She had thought about calling it in herself, but Bobby was thorough. He would listen to any 911 call or anonymous tip and he would know her voice. This one, she would have to be certain would be found sooner. DNA evidence was important...to her. She smiled as she followed the couple into the subway.
If she was anything, Nicole Wallace was patient. She waited and watched as the lights in the woman's apartment went out. She would give almost anything to watch the goings on, to see Bobby in action, in spite of his inebriation. But this was not the time. She would see that soon enough—when she got him into her bed.
It was just after four when he emerged from the building and headed down the street toward the subway. He was a lot steadier than she expected him to be, making her wonder if he'd really been as drunk as she'd thought. Ah, well, it really didn't matter. When he was gone, she crossed the street and entered the apartment building.
Goren was already at his desk when Eames arrived Monday morning. She sat down at her desk and waited for him to look up at her. Finally, he did. "Good morning, Eames," he said quietly.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"About Nancy's death? No, of course not."
"No, I mean about what you perceive to be your role in it."
He looked down at his hands where they rested on the desk, and Eames huffed in annoyance. "Look at me, Goren." He hesitated, but he finally looked at her. She continued, "Don't carry the burden of this murder, Bobby. You know it's not your fault."
"I-I know. But I still feel badly. Sh-she didn't deserve that."
"What victim does?" She hesitated when he looked away. She was being harsh, and he really didn't need that. She changed her tone. "How long have you known her?"
"Not long."
"I am sorry, Bobby."
He looked back at her. She really meant that. She was sorry that he'd lost someone she perceived to be important to him. "Thank you, Eames."
"Do you want me to go with you to tell Deakins?"
He shook his head. There was no reason for her to have any part in that. "No. I can face the music on my own."
"Something tells me it won't be music you'll be hearing."
She felt a little relief when a small smile touched his mouth. As the lunch hour drew near, he screwed up his courage to talk to the captain. "I, uh, I guess I'd better get this over with. What are you doing for lunch?"
"Oh, I'm...meeting someone. Sorry, Bobby. I forgot. I'll see you after lunch."
A half-smile crooked his mouth. "If I'm still here. Deakins may chew me up and spit me out."
Eames smiled. "He might."
"I'm glad you didn't."
"Don't think it didn't occur to me. But I know you're a lot harder on yourself than I could ever be."
He knew she was right and there was nothing he could say to reply. "Enjoy your lunch, Eames."
He headed to the captain's office and went inside. When he came out, she was gone.
One o'clock came and went, progressing toward two, and Goren started getting restless. Logan stopped at his desk as he headed for the breakroom to refill his coffee cup. He read Goren's restlessness and interpreted it correctly. He was getting to know the man well, and he wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing or not. On some level it almost frightened him. He gently cuffed Goren's shoulder. "Relax. So she's a little late."
"She's not usually late." She was just meeting someone. Suppose something had gone wrong? He had no idea who she was supposed to be meeting. He should have asked. What was wrong with him?
"Take a pill, Goren. What the hell is up with you?"
"I don't know. She just seems…out of sorts lately."
"You worry too much. Look, there she is now, safe and sound."
Goren shot him an annoyed look as he went on his way to the coffee pot. Eames sat down at her desk, looking a little pale. Goren frowned. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head. "Not now, Bobby."
Her manner told him she was not willing to discuss it, and he let the matter drop because she asked him to, but his anxiety increased and so did his restlessness, which annoyed her. "Will you sit still?" she snapped, halfway through the afternoon.
"Sorry," he muttered.
When the day came to an end, she left right away, which was also unusual for her. Goren knew something was troubling her. She hadn't asked how it went with Deakins, and he didn't want to add to her troubles by recounting the uncomfortable exchange. Deakins had been understandably furious, and Goren was in deep trouble. But that became secondary to him after Eames came back from lunch. Logan came over and leaned against Goren's desk. "What's up with her?"
"She won't tell me."
"That's not good."
No, it wasn't. Something was bothering her, and he knew he wouldn't be able to settle down until he knew what.
Goren was surprised to see Eames at her desk when he came in the next morning. She almost never got there before he did. He dropped into his chair and looked at her, concerned. She looked upset, and he could tell she had been crying. His stomach flipped, and he fought down the anger that began to form. "Eames?"
"Let's go get some breakfast, Bobby."
"Okay." He didn't know what else to say.
They walked along the sidewalk away from the headquarters building. Letting her take the initiative, he remained silent as he watched her. "Stop looking at me, Goren."
He looked away, watching the sidewalk, not commenting on her snippiness. "I'm sorry," she said after awhile. "I just…I'm not sure how I feel right now."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She noticed how tentative he was. "Yes, I do." She was quiet for another half a block. "I went to the doctor at lunch yesterday. That's why I was late. Bobby, I'm pregnant."
"Oh," was all he said. Pregnant? They had crossed the street before he noticed she was crying. He stepped over to stand against a nearby building, out of pedestrian traffic, gently guiding her along with him. He pulled her into his arms and held her. He didn't have to ask what was wrong. It had to be her husband. She had always wanted children of her own and had loved being pregnant with her nephew. It wasn't the pregnancy that had her upset. He didn't know what else to do but hold her. So that's all he did.
Pregnant...Eames was pregnant. His head was swimming. She was pregnant with Ricky's child. He left his car in the parking garage and headed for home on foot. He needed time to think, and his thoughts never strayed to his own problems. All he could think about was Eames. He was no fool. He knew what this meant. It meant she was now tied to the man she married with a bond that was stronger than her word. She was bound to him by the life they had created. She truly was lost to him now.
Have faith...don't lose hope. Shit. Faith and hope were for fools and suckers. But what was he. A fool? Of course he was. He couldn't help loving her, needing her, wanting her in a way that was about as far from pure as one could get. He was a fool for loving her, and he couldn't help that. He would always love her. And he couldn't help but resent this child that now bound her to Ricky because he knew his partner and he knew how she felt about parenthood. She would stay with Ricky.
But what did he expect? Ricky was her husband. Who else would she have a child with? God, he had to get over this. In his mind, he could hear Logan's voice, saying words Logan himself had never spoken to him. Face it, big guy. She's not yours. Never was, never will be. Get over it and move on with your life.
What to make of that? Mike Logan, the voice of reason in his mind. Logan would get a big kick out of that. But better Mike Logan than William Goren, Sr. At least with Mike, there was never any judgment. Mike simply called it as he saw it. Whoever's voice it was, it was right. Eames would never belong to him. But he needed time to get used to that concept. Eight months wasn't long enough. Maybe this pregnancy would do it. Maybe this pregnancy would be the very thing to finally take her away from him. He could see her leaving the force to be a full-time mother. His gut clenched. Now what was he going to do?
He rolled over and grabbed the phone. "Goren." Silence. "Hello?"
A male voice gave him an address and the line went dead. He frowned and looked at the receiver as though it had a mind of its own. Grabbing a pen, he wrote down the address, which was vaguely familiar, though he couldn't explain why. He got out of bed and dressed. A brief urge to call his partner hit him, but he forced it down. Until he knew what this was about, he was not going to call her. She had enough trouble with her husband because of him. Besides, she was pregnant and she needed her rest if she could get it.
As he left the apartment, he remembered that his car was still at 1PP. Shit. He again thought about calling Eames, but decided against it. If he got her up because of some stupid prank, he'd be making it up to her for weeks. So he hit a different speed dial button. When a muffled voice said, What the hell do you want, Goren? Have you even bothered to look at the clock?
"No, I didn't actually. Get up. I'll be there in ten."
What the hell for?
"I need to borrow your car."
What's wrong with yours?
"Yours is closer. I left mine at work."
What'd you do a bonehead thing like that for?
"I had some thinking to do."
So you left your car at work? Never mind. Don't explain. Isn't there anyone else you can bother?
"Not at the moment."
How do I get so lucky?
"See you in a few."
He closed the phone and slid it back into his pocket.
Just under ten minutes later, Logan pulled open his door before Goren had a chance to knock. "Is this really necessary?" he asked, keys in hand.
"You don't have to come along."
"My car. Where are we going?" Goren handed him the paper with the scribbled address on it. "Okay, more important, then, why are we going there?"
"Because I got a weird phone call."
"Goren, if I reacted seriously to every weird phone call I got, I'd have two bookcases full of old encyclopedias and at least three STDs."
"Either give me the keys or get your jacket."
"Okay, fine. I want to go on record, though. I think you're being an idiot."
"Noted. And my reply is you're a bigger idiot because you're going with me."
"And why does Eames get to sleep in?"
"Because I have no idea what this is about. Firstly, she has enough trouble with Ricky because of me. Secondly, you're a lot closer."
"Remind me to move."
He followed Goren out into the hall and they headed for the car.
Logan slid the car into the center of four empty parking spaces in front of an old apartment building. "Okay, we're here. Now wh..." he stopped in midword at the look on Goren's face. In silence, he watched his friend get out of the car. This couldn't be good. He climbed out of the car and strolled around to the sidewalk. "What is it?"
"I-I think I'll need to call Eames after all. I, uh, I was just here, Mike...Sunday night."
"No. Please tell me this is all a joke. Please." Goren did not reply. "Let's at least check it out before we piss off your partner's husband. You remember the apartment?"
Goren nodded. "Five."
"After you."
They found apartment five on the second floor at the back of the building. Goren knocked. "Cindy?"
No answer. He pressed one hand against the door and gave a firm push. The door opened. Without hesitation, he pulled a pair of gloves from his jacket and snapped them on. Logan followed suit, and they entered the dark apartment. Five minutes later, Goren was placing a call to his partner and Logan was on the line with central dispatch, requesting for CSU to be sent to their location to process a murder scene. Then they flipped for who would call Deakins. Logan lost the flip.
Eames entered the bedroom quietly. She had spent the last two nights in the spare bedroom because Ricky was being a jerk about the pregnancy, acting as though she had gone and gotten pregnant without him. Bastard.
She pulled a shirt and jacket from the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans from the dresser. "Alex? What are you doing?"
"Getting some clothes, unless you would rather I show up at a crime scene in my pajamas."
"Crime scene?"
"Yes. I just got called out. Go back to sleep, Ricky."
"He called, didn't he?"
"Since he was called before me, yes. This is not a conspiracy, you know. People are not being murdered so I can rendezvous with Goren. I'll see you after work."
Without another word, she grabbed a pair of shoes and left the room. Hastily, she got dressed and left the house. With a soft sigh, she swallowed her grief that her baby's father refused to share in her own joy of the impending birth, six months away. As she started the car, she let her mind wander. Backing out of the driveway, she found herself wondering what Goren thought about the upcoming birth. And then she tried to tell herself that it didn't matter. He was just her partner. But she couldn't get away from the fact that it did matter...because Bobby was more than just her partner. He was her closest friend and that made him important to her. What he thought did matter, and she was counting on him to make her feel better about this. Maybe that was unfair of her, but she couldn't help it. When the circumstances of her life failed her, he was often the only one who could turn it around for her. There were few things in life that she truly needed, and her gentle partner was at the top of that list.