Chapter Eleven

The next day Alex calls his cell phone, no answer. All she gets is the machine on his home phone. She assumes he has gone up to visit his Mom. Her cell rings about 4 pm as she is just leaving the station.

"Eames."

"Hey it's me. If you've been calling, I apologize for not answering I just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone."

"I understand and yes I have called a few times, how are you feeling?"

"Ah alright."

"What did you do all day?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing."

"Were you bored?" Alex opens the door to her car and gets in.

"No not really. But I must say except for the court shows, daytime TV sucks."

"I thought you'd visit your Mom today?" She starts up the engine and puts the car in gear.

"I'll probably go up tomorrow."

"That's good, she'll be glad to see you."

"I hope so, I hope my mood changes by the time I get there." He pauses listening. "What is all that noise?"

"Traffic."

"You're talking on your cell and driving, you're not suppose to do that?"

"Bobby?"

"Yeah."

"Call a cop."

He laughs and so does she. He gets quiet for a minute and then he says as if he's proud of himself, "I called Doctor Olivette this morning, she gave me a name of a counselor."

She notices that he seems to be speaking more like Bobby than that stranger she's been with for the last two weeks. "Now that is something I've been waiting to hear, good for you. Now make sure you call and make an appointment."

Again, he sounds boastful. "I already called. I have an appointment for this Friday at 2 PM."

"Excellent. Are you nervous."

"I'll let you know at one forty five. I have to go, my phone keeps beeping, but before I hang up I want to know if you would have dinner with me on Thursday?"

He figures that Thursday would be a better night to ask than the usual Friday or Saturday, she might already have plans.

"Yes I would" She feels as if she accepted a little too quickly. " She pauses and nonchalantly says, "Where?"

"Any where you want."

"Sal's is a good place."

"Are you sure? I mean I could meet you in the city."

"No I'll drive out to Brooklyn, I don't mind."

"Ok if that's what you want to do. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok, Bye."

They both have a good feeling as they hang up their phones.

Carmel Ridge

As Bobby enters the driveway to Carmel Ridge, he thinks how many times he has pulled into this parking lot. His Mom has been resident here for over ten years.

He has been to visit her once a week since then, usually on Sunday. He hasn't been to see her since the Sunday before Nicole abducted him. He has phoned her a few times but he has been very evasive as to why he has not visited. It is a Wednesday afternoon and the lot is empty. Even on Sunday's it's not that full but today you can count the cars on your fingers.

The receptionist notices Bobby and greets him. He smiles at her and says hello as he passes the desk on his way to his Mom's room. As he turns the corner, Jane Morrow, one of the nurses, is walking toward him.

"Morning Jane."

"Good morning, it's not Sunday is it?"

He smiles, "No, how is she today?"

"She's sharp, her new medication seems to be working well for her."

"Yeah for now, wait a month of two."

"Well aren't we the optimist."

"No, It's more like been there before."

Jane doesn't answer him she just looks at him and she can see the sadness in his face.

He apologizes, "I'm sorry."

"I understand, are you alright?"

"I've been better."

"Were you ill?"

"You could say that."

"Well it's good to see, we missed you around here."

"Thanks."

"She'll be happy to see you. Enjoy your visit, take care."

"See you later Jane."

He slowly opens the door and she looks up to see who it is. She quickly turns to face the window.

This isn't going to be easy.

"Mom."

No answer. He raises his voice. "Mom!"

"I heard you Bobby, I'm not deaf."

Then why didn't you answer me?

He takes a deep breath. Frances Goren may be mentally ill but she is still his Mom and she can pull the old quilt trip on you just like any other parent.

She is not going to make feel guilty about this.

His anger is building and his voice is loud and harsh when he speaks. "I am not going to apologize to you for not visiting these past few weeks. Things haven't been going well for me. I've had some trouble. Can you understand that?"

"Of course I understand. I'm not ignorant."

Rolling his eyes, "I didn't say you were."

She continues to look out the window. Her voice is very soft and sturdy but flat.

"Bobby, a long time ago they invented this machine, it's called a phone. Did you suddenly forget how to use one?"

He does not respond.

"I have called you several times but all I ever get is your answering machine. You know how I hate talking to a machine."

That explains all the hang-ups.

"What's happened?"

She turns to look at him for the first time. "You look terrible, you have that same look your father would have when he was out all night."

She turns back toward the window. "That smug look he would have on his face because he thought I was too ignorant to know what he was doing."

He walks closer to her and stands in front of her, raising his voice and pointing his finger in her direction. "Are you trying to piss me off by comparing me to that fuck!"

"Why are you raising your voice and getting so upset all I said was that you had that same look that I saw for so many nights." She looks at him and catches his eye. "Are you feeling guilty about something?"

He sits down hard in the chair next to her. "I'm sorry, it's just that I haven't been feeling well and I'm having trouble sleeping."

She watches him as he speaks. He is sitting back in the chair staring up at the ceiling he looks pale and tired.

"You do look very tired and you've been drinking. Why?"

He answers her but he continues to stare at the ceiling. "I haven't been drinking."

"Well maybe not today, not yet, but you have. Look at me Bobby and tell me the truth."

"Yes, alright, I've been drinking a little."

"A little. As in every night." She pauses, realizing that he is not going to tell her any thing more.

"Do you think I'm a selfish woman?"

"No. Why would you ask that?"

"Admit it, your first thought was that I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, not caring or wondering why you haven't been to visit. Am I right?"

He continues to look at the ceiling. He is trying very hard to think of something to say to change the subject, because now he is starting to feel guilty.

"Bobby I asked you a question."

"Yes. Yes I did, when I heard the message from the doctor that is exactly what I thought. I didn't or want to be bothered with any of your crap. I'm sorry. It's just that I have been dealing with this problem for a while and…………"

"Does your problem have anything to do with this?" She holds up a newspaper that looks a few weeks old. He turns to look at her and then he sees the headline of the article in the paper.

TWO MORE PEOPLE ARRESTED IN NYC POLICE DETECTIVE'S ABDUCTION

He shakes his head. "That has nothing to do with me."

"I may have some problems, God knows, but I'm still able to comprehend what I read."

She tosses the paper and it lands on his lap. He looks down at it and then he folds it up. He stands up and puts the paper on a little table next to her chair. Shaking his head, "No Mom that's not me."

"You're lying to me. Tell me the truth Bobby." She pauses giving him time to answer her.

He stays silent.

She gets up from her chair and picks up the paper. "The article mentions the names of the detectives who were on the case. Alex's name is mentioned in the article, along with a few names that I do not recognize, however nowhere in the article is the victims name mentioned or yours, Alex is still your partner, isn't she?"

Very softly, he says. "Yeah."

"Then how come you didn't work this case, as I've heard you say, with her and the others?"

She doesn't need to say anymore the look on his face tells her that she is right. She sits back down in the chair next to him. "One of the most traumatic events in my sons life and he doesn't tell me. Why, why didn't you tell me?"

He shakes his head hoping that an intelligent answer will come to mind. Nothing, he has no reason for not telling her. "I don't know Mom. It's just that…" He pauses and she speaks. "Could it be because you never do? You figure I have enough of my own problems."

He smiles and chuckles softly. "I'm not sure how to answer that."

"You never come to me with any bad news or problems. I think the last time I helped you with a problem, my God, you were probably in high school."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Bobby I am so sorry that you feel that you can't rely on me for anything."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not, we're talking now."

"Only because I found out what happened. Otherwise, you weren't going to say anything to me. Were you?"

"Maybe…." Shrugging his shoulders, "Probably not."

"Why would she want to do this to you?"

"I don't know."

"Bobby."

"Honest Mom I don't know." He pauses as he looks out the window. "She hates me. She hates all men." He gets up from the chair and paces around the room. "Nicole, man how can I describe her? She is very intelligent, attractive and in her own way charming and funny. You wouldn't think that when you look at her the evil she is capable of bestowing on people."

"Did she hurt you?"

He finds it hard to look at her when he speaks. "No. She loves to play mind games with people. She is able to find your weaknesses and she has this uncanny ability to get you right where it hurts."

"What does she do?"

"She uses people anyway she can to get what she wants."

"What did she want?"

"To ruin my life? To destroy me? She is the only one who knows. But the way I have been behaving lately maybe part of what she wanted she got."

"Are you in any trouble?"

"No I just haven't been myself lately." He turns to look at her and smiles. "But things are looking up."

"Honestly?"

"Yeah Mom, I've taken some time off and I have an appointment to see a counselor on Friday."

"Are you feeling any better then when you first got here?"

"Yes I am, thanks Mom."

They both get up from their chairs, she extends her arms, and they hug. "I love you Bobby."

"I love you too, Mom."

They break the hug. "Mom are you up to going out for lunch?"

"That sounds like a good idea, give me about twenty minutes to get ready."

"Sure. What are you in the mood for steak, pasta, what?"

"Could we go to Rose's?"

"Sure anywhere you want. I'll leave you to get ready and I'll be back after I speak to Dr. Shimo." As he walks toward the door, he turns to face her. "It's about me not you, ok."

She just nods her head.

"Hi Linda, how are you this afternoon."

"It's good to see you, I'm fine, how about yourself."

"Better than when I got here. Is the Doctor in?"

"Yes."

Linda goes into the doctor's office, within minutes, she reappears, and gestures for him to enter, she holds the door for him as he passes her he thanks her.

As Bobby walks into the office, he extends his hand and the two men shake hands. "It's good to see you, are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah I'm doing a little better. I wanted to first apologize to you for my attitude the other day on the phone."

"It was strange hearing you speak like that. I thought I had the wrong number."

Bobby laughs as he sits down. "Let's just say that I wasn't myself."

"You sounded disoriented."

"No. More like drunk."

The doctor sits down in the chair next to him. "Drunk at 11:30 in the morning?"

"Yeah. I have been drinking a lot lately."

"Why?"

"It started about two weeks ago I had trouble sleeping. It is very easy to get into a habit like that."

"Yes it is."

"The last two nights was the first time in weeks that I was able to sleep without alcohol."

"That's a start. That's good to hear."

The doctor looks over at him as if he is examining him. "It looks like your visit with your Mom went well."

"Yes it did. It went better than I thought it would, considering my mood when I got here."

"Did she show you the paper?"

"Yes she did."

"I was going to say something to you on the phone the other day but when I heard you attitude I decided against it."

"Very perceptive."

"For over two weeks now we have been trying to get her to talk about it. She is such a private and proud woman that she closed down. She had to see you first."

"My parents were always good at hiding things, not just from strangers but from family as well, I could never understand that I still don't."

"Bobby it seems to me that you acted the same way, didn't you?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Oh man……….Damn"

"You figured you could handle this problem all by yourself. Didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did."

"To proud to admit to yourself that you needed help. In addition, I bet that if you think back over the past few weeks how many people have actually been there to help you. And if they gave you an opening to talk you shut down or changed the subject or you pushed them away, isn't that right?"

"Jesus, that's right."

"Have you made any arrangement to talk with someone?"

"Yes I have."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that."

The doctor's phone buzzes. "Doctor, Mister Sheldon is on the line, do you want to talk to him now or should I tell him you'll call him back."

"I'll take his call now."

"Oh Bobby, one more thing, make sure you go more than once."

"I will." Bobby stands and extends his hand and the two men shake. "Thanks Doctor. I had better go. I'm taking Mom out for lunch."

"Enjoy your afternoon."

He walks back toward her room and he sees her waiting outside the door. "Are you ready Mom?"

"Yes I am. Let's go."

TBC