Chapter Eighteen

Bobby's sleep was drug induced but it was restful, Alex however was up half the night. When he wakes, he notices that her eyes are open and she is lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Somewhat." She answers him but continues to look up. "How does your hand feel?"

"It's starting to hurt." She slowly moves her head in his direction. He notices her staring at him. "What?"

"I still can't believe you did that." She sits up in the bed. "Have you ever done that before?"

Without hesitation, he says. "When I was younger I did it a couple of times." He pauses. "Do you want to know something?"

"What?"

"It felt damn good. Well not the broken hand part but……." She cuts him off. "Putting your hand through a window felt good?"

"You're making too big a deal of this."

"And you're taking it too lightly."

"Jesus, it was just a window." He slowly sits up in the bed. "She's lucky I didn't do that to her face." He reaches for the glass of water on his nightstand. "You know if I would have killed her up there we wouldn't be going through this shit now." He takes a drink.

She nods her head in agreement. "You're right we wouldn't be going through this shit now because you'd be in jail. Come on Detective Goren you know damn well that you were in control of the situation when we got there. You would have been arrested for her murder."

"Yeah. Yeah. Well one can dream."

With not much enthusiasm, Alex pulls off the covers. "Well I better get up or I'll be late. Make sure you call the captain later and tell him what's going on."

"I will."

She gets out of the bed. "Do you want me to make you something to eat before I go?"

"No I'll get something later. Take your shower. I think I'll just lay here for a while. Those pills make me tired."

She finishes her shower and returns to the bedroom. Usually he would tease her as she changes her clothes but he is half asleep.

"Bobby."

"Yeah," He says as he looks up.

"I'm leaving make sure you eat something before you take anymore pills."

She leans down and kisses his cheek. "I'll call you later."

One Police Plaza

Alex sits at her desk staring at the phone. The Captain startles her. "Logan and Barek are free to help you on the Cutler case." She doesn't look up. "Alex, did you hear me?"

"Yes Captain I heard you. I'll brief them on it right away."

They spend the day interviewing witnesses and one suspect, Jane Cutler. In the afternoon they present enough evidence for the go ahead to arrest Misses Jane Cutler in the murder of her husband.

Misses Cutler is booked and Alex returns to her desk. She starts staring at the phone again. She picks it up and dials the number.

"Hello."

"Hello. My name is Alex Eames and I was wondering if I could please speak with Dr. Sherman."

"Please hold."

A minute and a half passes. "Good afternoon Alex. How are you?"

"I'm fine thank you. I was wondering if you could find some time in your schedule……..I would like to talk to you."

"Hold on please while I check my calendar." Alex can hear pages being turned.

"I have an opening on Friday at 4."

"That would be great thank you."

"You're welcome Alex. See you Friday. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Doctor."

Later that Evening

She finds him lying on the couch asleep. "Bobby."

He moves slowly and then he opens his eyes. "Hey. What time is it?"

"A little after six, are you hungry?'"

"I'm starved."

"You told me that you ate before."

"I did but that was a while ago." He sits up. "Before you go in the kitchen………… it's a little messy. Sorry but it's hard to clean dishes with one hand." He turns his head away speaking out of the side of his mouth. "It's not that easy to pee either."

"I really didn't need to know that." She smiles at him. "What are you in the mood for?" She looks at him as he smiles and raises his eyebrows. "So what else is new? I meant food."

He laughs. "Anything I don't care."

"I'll be right back. I want to change my clothes."

As Alex returns downstairs, Bobby is watching the news. "Alex, Cutler's wife is on TV."

They listen as she denies the charges that she murdered her husband. "You arrested her today?"

"Yes."

He clicks off the TV. "Why didn't you tell me when you called five times today?"

"I called because I was worried about you. Not because of a stupid ass case." She leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. "Fine tomorrow I won't call at all, ok."

One of these days I'm going to learn to keep my big mouth shut.

He walks into the kitchen. She is noisily cleaning the sink out. "You're gonna break something."

She ignores him. She suddenly stops and puts her hands up to her face. He stands behind her and grabs her hand. "Alex, I'm sorry that was an insensitive thing to say." She turns around and gives him a hug as she starts to cry.

He kisses the top of her head. "Talk to me, please."

She lifts her head. "I called Angela this afternoon. I made an appointment to see her this Friday."

"I'll bet when you started this relationship you didn't think you'd need therapy."

She pushes away from him. "I hope it's the pills that are making you talk so goddamn stupid."

"Gees get a sense of humor will ya?"

"Go to hell." She says as she walks out of the room.

"I'm already there."

She stops and turns to face him. "What? What did you say?"

"Nothing, I didn't say anything."

"If anyone is in hell it's me." She goes up the stairs and slams the bedroom door.

"Damn." He exhales. "How come women always get to slam doors?" He walks back to the kitchen. "I guess I'm stuck cleaning up this shit." It takes awhile but he manages to clean up the mess.

"Weird. This is my house and I can't even go into my own bedroom." He sits down on the couch. "She's right I am talking stupid. And I'm hungry."

She cries for about thirty minutes, not sure as to why. She goes back down stairs and he is half asleep on the couch. She sits down next to him. He gets startled. "Hi."

She grabs his hand. "Hi."

"Alex I'm sorry."

"So am I."

"Now can you tell me exactly what you think of all this?"

She shakes her head. "I'm not sure. I have so many thoughts going through my head and I can't seem to get a handle on any of them."

Angela's Office Friday Afternoon

"Alex, how are you? Please come in."

Alex follows Angela into her office. "Well I see you replaced the window."

Angela chuckles. "Please sit." She extends her arms. "Anywhere. Anywhere you feel comfortable."

Alex sits in the chair closest to the window. Angela sits down at her desk. "I was wondering if you were going to call me."

"I'm not sure where to start so I think I'll start with something that Bobby has asked me more than once. Exactly what do you think of all this?" She shakes her head. "Even now I can't put a handle on it. He's right I am avoiding the issue."

"It was a hard phone call for you to make, wasn't it?"

"Yes it was." She pauses for a moment. She speaks in a monotone voice. "I have not faced this situation the right way I should be angry as hell and I'm not. Maybe I am and I'm not sure how to deal with this. Jesus I'm not making any sense at all, am I?"

"Yes. Yes you are."

She looks at the window. "Ever since I have know him there have not been too many times where he had to be physical with people. If they start it he'll finish it but…………." She points toward the window. "That scares me."

"Why? What does it make you think of?"

"I'm not sure. But that's not a normal response to anger is it?"

"No. No it's not."

"When I asked him about it, he was so casual. He just blew it off."

"Alex has he hit you?"

She just shakes her head as she looks at Angela. "No."

"Do you fear that he might?"

"That thought never…………..I don't know………..Maybe."

TBC