I do not own Furuba.

Dreams

I love my sister, Sohma Momo. I'm forced to look after her from a distance, though, because of the Sohma curse. My Mutti, she rejected me because of the curse. I live on my own in the Main House, "Inside". I only have a few friends, mostly the other members of the Jyuunishi, so I have to have my dreams to keep me company. Two dreams... just two.

I want to live with my family, instead of by myself. I want to be a brother and I want to be a son. There are a few servants to take care of me, but they are a poor substitute for the kind of family love that I long for. That's my first dream. It will never happen, I know, but it's nice to think about... As for the second dream, I want to play violin. I want to do shows and become famous. I want Momo's friends to listen to my CDs and Momo to say proudly, "That's my onii-chan playing." I want these dreams to come true, but I know that it will never happen.

I watched my little sister grow up from a distance. She was born when I was eight. Momo doesn't have the Sohma curse and I thank my lucky stars for that. I wouldn't be able to stand watching her suffer like I have. She's an adorable little girl. She looks like Mutti, exactly like Mutti, except softer somehow. Mutti's prettiness is kind of sharp and cold. Momo's prettiness is soft and warm and huggable. Not that I've ever hugged her.

I often think about Momo when I'm at home, all alone, after my homework is finished and there's nothing for me to do. Then, always, I pull out my violin and play a song for Momo, wishing she was here, listening to me. And when I finish my song, she cries, "That was great, Onii-chan!" and hugs me. But I don't transform. I suppose that's my third dream. And while I dream, my hands have been playing. They have slipped into the familiar notes and rhythms that I so often play. I don't even have to think about it anymore, not really.

I don't take lessons for my violin anymore. Papa said that Momo started talking violin lessons. He said that she's curious about me. He asked me to stop taking lessons so that Momo and I wouldn't meet. My Papa has always asked me to give up the things I love the most and I always agree. It confuses people, I know, but the reason I do it couldn't be more simple. It's for Momo If I agree, Momo can stay happy. I value her happiness above anything, even my own.

When I finished the song, I heard soft crying. I guess I had slipped into some sort of trance, a trance of deep though, because I was suddenly jolted back to reality by the sound. I set the violin gently aside. Honda Tohru, my only friend outside the Jyuunishi, sat on the porch listening to me, sadly. Her blouse and skirt were dirty and she was sobbing quietly. Gently, I helped her to her feet and asked what was wrong. She looked at me, determined and almost desperate, and told me that she had met Momo. Momo remembered meeting me in Papa's building. She wanted to get to know me better. She wanted me to be her brother!

My heart soared to a point high above the clouds. I felt tears of joy gathering in my eyes and I started to laugh, uncontrollably. This was my dream, come true! I was happy, so, so happy.

Tohru left to find Kureno. I gave her directions and told her, if she got in to trouble, just say my name and she'd be alright. And I was alone again, though happier than I could ever remember being. Perhaps I was too happy. Perhaps it wasn't real, any of this, and I had merely fallen asleep... Perhaps this - Momo, wanting to be my sister - was just another of my recurring fantasies. If this was a dream, when I woke up...

I smiled. If this was a dream, I'd try my hardest to never wake up. I liked my dreams.