Under the Skin – Chapter 7

"You have to get down to the infirmary and put that…Biro into her place."

Carson started up as he was jolted out of sleep by someone yelling at him. "Wha...?"

"I'm about ready to file a malpractice suit and it isn't even me," Sheppard said, yanking the blanket away. "You have got to do something about that woman."

Carson's brain hadn't quite caught up. "Colonel?"

"She's tied Rodney to the goddamn infirmary bed and is treating him against his wishes." The words came fast and hard, dripping with anger. Every movement of his body was sharp, as if it would cut if anyone got too close.

Carson looked down, bewildered. He had stripped to his boxers before going to bed, and it was cold without the blanket. "Wasn't my door locked?"

"I opened it," John said absently. "Would you please just put some clothes on and get down to the infirmary before she manages to make him a total basket-case by the time she's done?"

"What are you talking about? How did you open my door?"

"What?" Sheppard stopped, finally looking at him. "It was an emergency. It unlocks for me." He paused again taking another breath. "Do you want the long or the short version?"

Carson glanced over at the clock next to his bed. An hour. He had fallen asleep an hour ago. He briefly closed his eyes, finally kick-starting his mind into some sort of activity. "You'd better tell me what's got you so worked up."

"The short version it is then," Sheppard said, rubbing a hand across his face. "Rodney woke up not long after he finally settled down and he was a little out of sorts. He tried to do another little escape routine and made an attempt to sucker punch me, but he was too out of it for it to make much of a dent. So, Biro thought it would be a good idea to sedate him a little more and make sure he didn't rip out the IVs and such for a third time by restraining him."

"Aye..." So far that was standard procedure. "So why are you here then?"

"When he woke up about half an hour ago he started having a panic attack and asked for me to take them off. I agreed, seeing that I was awake and he promised he wouldn't try anything. We sat and chatted for a while until Biro decided to make an appearance."

Carson just raised an eyebrow.

Sheppard sighed and rolled his eyes. "Rodney was a tad bit…vocal about his wishes regarding his further treatment."

"Rodney is always vocal about that, Colonel. I generally have to berate him into allowing me to treat his sorry arse."

"Well, Biro decided that man-handling him back into restraints and drugging him off his ass was a better option even when he was yelling and begging her not to and clearly asking to be treated by someone else: namely you."

Carson ran a hand across his face. "I'm on enforced medical leave, Colonel. Lindsay is the one who ordered me on it, and at the moment she's in charge of the infirmary. Didn't she tell Rodney that?"

"Yes, she did. He still asked for other options regarding his medical care. As a patient, he has that right."

"She's the most qualified at the moment. She's a good doctor. She knows what she's doing."

"You're sticking up for her?" He turned and stepped a few paces away before turning back. "I can't believe this. I can't believe you of all people are sticking up for her."

Carson felt his eyes widen in surprise at the intensity of John's anger. "So far all you've told me is that Rodney was being difficult and Lindsay had to argue with him..."

"She knows nothing of his history. You do. He was having a panic attack because of the restraints and the only thing she decided to do was claim it's a 'medical decision' and drug him until he was unconscious. I don't call that handling the situation. I call that being reckless and unfeeling to the patient's health." He paused a minute, pinning Beckett with a glare. "And how do you think Rodney's going to wake up from all of this when they're a guard at the end of his bed and I can't even go in to talk to him because I might 'upset him more'?"

Carson shut his eyes for a moment. When she got irritated, he knew Doctor Biro tended to deal with a situation in the most direct way possible. In this case... He stood up slowly, letting the room stop spinning before moving to where his clothes were draped over a chair. What a time to be cut off from the stimulants. "I'll talk to her. At the very least I'll make sure when he wakes up the restraints are off and you're allowed to be there."

"The damage is already done, Beckett, and if you don't insist on taking over his care…" Sheppard shook his head, his voice trailing off. "Look. I know you had an…argument, but this is ridiculous."

"Colonel, look at me. I can barely stand right now, much less practice medicine. If I take over Rodney's care like this I'm more likely to kill him." Carson was pulling on his pants, grabbing the side of the desk to keep from toppling over.

"Look, I'm sorry," Sheppard said, sighing. "We just got him back and at this rate we might not be able to keep him."

Carson felt the fight go out of him. "Aye, I know. When we get to the infirmary, ask Anne for a handful of stimulants. She's under orders not to give them to me, but if you want me to be of any use whatsoever, I'll need them."

"Can't you just…check him over, calm him down? Not that it matters now since he's unconscious," he sighed again. "Isn't there another doctor around that Rodney won't object to?"

"Since you're here, I'm guessing the answer to your second question is no." Fully dressed now, Carson started heading unsteadily for the door. "I'll stay with him until he wakes up, get him calmed down. Given the state you said he was in, it won't take long for whatever he was given to wear off."

"She gave him two doses."

He turned around, barely keeping his balance. "What? Why?"

Sheppard grabbed an arm steadying him. "To put him under and stop him from begging her to leave him alone? He was already having a hard time staying conscious but she needed him out cold apparently."

"Dear, God. All right, you've been here long enough for them to have completed an exam. Let's get over there and find out what the hell is going on."

Sheppard hung back. "Uh…and about that."

"Please don't tell me there's more?"

"So I shouldn't mentioned that she threatened to do the same to me if I stepped foot back in there without a good reason?"

Carson fought down a hysterical giggle. "I can't walk that far without running into something. I need you to help me, so there's your good reason."

Sheppard grabbed an arm, muttering under his breath. "I'm sure I'll remember that as she's strapping me to the bed."

"No one's strapping you to any beds. Just get me the stimulants when we get there, and I'll resume control of the infirmary. It sounds like the place is falling apart."

"Maybe not falling apart," Sheppard admitted. "Let's just say that she's not you and we're thankful every day for that little fact of life. She doesn't have your bedside manner"

Carson shot him a look. He wasn't sure how to take that, so he focused on putting one foot in front of the other. God he hated being this tired and out of sorts.

xxx

Lolling his head to the side and groaning, Rodney slowly came back to consciousness; his mouth feeling like something had died in it and sucked all the moisture out at the same time.

His eyelids were heavy but he finally managed to lever them open, the blurry view of an infirmary privacy curtain his first site.

Groaning, he went to rub some of the gunk from his eyes, but found he couldn't.

And then it all came back in a rush.

Oh, God. No.

Nononononononononono.

Adrenaline quickly washed away whatever remnants of the drug from his mind and he tried to sit up, but found a hand on his chest was holding him back.

Sheppard peered at him, his face concerned. "Rodney? I got Carson. He's arguing with Biro now, and as soon as he gets back we're getting these off you."

"Just get them off. I just need—" He tried to take a deep breath, but nothing would come.

Carson walked through the gap in the privacy curtain, his face tight with anger. He motioned to the restraints. "Get them off. Now."

Even as Sheppard was struggling to get the restraints unbuckled, Rodney wheezed, his eyes wide. His body was trembling and he hated everything about this.

Carson reached out and laid one hand on his arm after he had unbuckled the restraints on his side of the bed. "Rodney? Lad, I'm sorry..."

"Oh, God," he muttered, pulling his arms up to his chest, trying to curl up on his side and just let his body shake and get back to normal.

"It's okay. For now I've resumed control of your care. And if I can't be here, Anne will stand in for me, okay?" He gestured to the nurse hovering nearby.

Rodney nodded his head. "Yes, fine, God, fine, thank you. Can you open…"

"Of course." Carson quickly pulled the privacy curtains back again, letting him see the whole room. "Better?"

He stared out clear across to the other side of the infirmary, feeling not so boxed in. "Yes, thank you," he whispered, finally able to take a few deep breaths, willing his body to relax.

"Good." Carson smiled at him, sitting down in a chair next to the bed. "Now, I've looked over your chart, and physically, there isn't much wrong with you. I'm a wee bit concerned over the panic attacks. You'll probably have them to some degree for a while, and probably nightmares, but they still seem to be a bit too intense for me to be comfortable sending you to your room alone. I'd like you to stay here another day, and then if you're feeling better, I'll let you leave with a mild relaxant that should help. Sound okay?"

"Biro?"

"That's why I've asked Anne to take over if I'm not here. She means well Rodney, her and I just have different opinions on how to handle patient care."

"No kidding," he grumbled, relaxing for the first time without any extra drugs to help him along. He closed his eyes, enjoying the companionship and knowing that both Carson and Sheppard were nearby. He opened an eye after a moment, watching Beckett. "You okay?"

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Let's focus on getting you back and up on your feet."

Rodney nodded, but didn't look away. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered, letting his breath out slowly.

"For what? None of this is your fault. If anything, I should be the one apologizing to you."

Rodney sighed, closing his eyes, feeling his face flush. "I should have listened to you when we were on the Daedalus. You were right. I was exhausted, but after the whole…hive incident…I'd been having problems with small spaces. The quarters on board aren't exactly big."

Carson shook his head. "No, none of this was your fault. I should have just let you go work without interfering. I should have realized something was wrong a lot faster than I did. I should have gotten Durand out faster. I should have been here treating you instead of letting my staff do it. Quite frankly, I wasn't surprised when you asked to have a new doctor."

"I did?" Rodney pushed himself up a little, his arm shaking. "Why would I do that?"

"Lay down, Rodney, you need to relax. And yes, you did, which is why Doctor Biro was handling your care. Ironically enough for the same reason I'm here now, I treated you against your will." Carson looked down at his hands.

"What? The last I remember is getting a shock."

"Which you wouldn't have gotten if I hadn't just bloody drugged you."

"Actually," Rodney said wincing, "I think I deserved it."

"Nae, you were tired, yes, and so was I, but you have the right to refuse medication. As a doctor, I'm supposed to honor that right, and I didn't. I'm sorry."

"I'm guessing we all said some things we shouldn't have," Rodney said, finally lying back down when his arm wouldn't take any more. "But how about we just deal with my much more important panic attacks right now?"

Carson laughed quietly. "Aye, we can wallow in guilt later. As for the panic attacks, I'm afraid there isn't much I can do for you except recommend you see Doctor Heightmeyer; in fact, when I release you that will be one of the conditions. As I said before I can give you something to help you relax and sleep, but I don't want to use anything too strong, since that will only mask the problem."

"Oh, come on," he protested rolling his eyes. "I'm fine. There's no need to bring Kate into this."

"Rodney, you just admitted to me that you've been having trouble with small spaces, not to mention the thought of restraints or even of having privacy curtains pulled around you sets you off." Carson gave him a sympathetic look. "Plus, I'd say if there was any reason to go see a therapist, being trapped in your own mind for several bloody days while another entity took control would be it."

"And what if I tell you I don't remember any of it?" He widened his eyes, trying to look innocent.

"I'd tell you you're a horrible liar."

"Come on," he whined. "A little sleep and I'll be fine."

"Rodney," Carson's voice was quiet. "You need to talk to someone, and I don't know if I can give you the help you need."

He sighed. "Can we wait a little and see how things go?"

"Just set an appointment with her. Humor me. After that, the two of you can decide if you really need it or not."

"I'm not agreeing to anything yet."

"Why not? What harm can there be in agreeing to talk to her for a bit?" Carson tried his best you-can-do-it-try-it-you'll-like-it look.

"She already thinks I'm crazy. She doesn't need any more ammunition."

"She doesn't think you're crazy, Rodney. You just somehow manage to get yourself smack dab in the middle of all the really bizarre situations."

He sighed again. "I'll think about it, okay? But can you just answer one question for me?"

"Aye, what?"

"Who is Nydia?"

xxx

Carson sat heavily into one of the chairs in Elizabeth's office, not looking forward to this conversation. She had been insistent this needed to be done now, since Doctor Biro had already been here, and formally requested Carson be temporarily demoted as Chief Medical Officer, seeing as how he was using that authority to override medical leave and had returned himself to active duty to treat Rodney. He had managed to keep that little detail quiet until after they were done explaining everything to Rodney, and he and Sheppard were headed to Elizabeth's office. Now he was going to have to brief her on everything that had happened, and defend his position here.

When everyone was settled, he figured he would just jump right in and get things started. "Right, as you know, Rodney is doing better. He's having panic attacks, but given what he's been through, that's expected. As long as he doesn't have another major one in the next twenty-four hours, I'm recommending he be allowed to return to his quarters to finish recovering there."

"I see," Elizabeth said, raising an eyebrow as she glanced down at the screen of her tablet PC. "Doctor Biro is…concerned that you're far too close to the patient to be objective, that's it's blinding you to a more serious condition." She paused, her own weariness sliding onto her face before she pushed it away. "The fact that two of my top doctors are having such a difference of option is troubling to me."

Carson slumped further into his chair. "Lindsay is a good doctor, and she means well, I know. But in this case, a patient was specifically requesting me there. Even though I wasn't there, she could have postponed the exam until we could consult. Even if she was still the one doing the exam, I could have convinced Rodney to go along without needing to resort to more drastic measures."

"She only said that she took basic medical precautions," Weir said, her eyes scanning the screen. Apparently she had Biro's report open.

Carson flicked his eyes over to John, then rested them back on Elizabeth. "I was called back to the infirmary because Rodney had been restrained and drugged, which was sending him into a panic attack. In most cases, yes, restraining an unruly patient and giving them something to help them relax is standard procedure. But right now Rodney can't even stand to have the privacy curtains pulled, and the thought of restraints sends him over the edge. This should have been treated as a special case, or at the very least I should have been consulted before that decision was made."

"And you weren't because you were on medical leave. The case was clearly in her hands."

Carson swallowed once, he knew that technically she was right. "Aye, but..." He threw a desperate glance at Sheppard, silently pleading with him to help.

"Elizabeth," Sheppard said finally, leaning forward. "She used unnecessary force. Instead of trying to calm him down—yes, it's hard but not impossible—she drugged him into unconsciousness, using twice the dose of the usual sedative to make sure he couldn't argue with her when she performed her exam."

Carson jumped back in. "I know she was in charge of the infirmary, but I've got the most experience dealing with Rodney, especially when he's feeling obstinate. Even if I consulted as a concerned party and not a doctor, I could have advised her on better ways to deal with him than drugs."

"You're not always going to be available, Carson. That's why we have procedures."

"I know. I'm the one who set them up. But what the bloody hell am I supposed to do when I'm dragged out of bed with tales of how my patients are being manhandled? What choice did I have?"

Weir sighed, rubbing a hand across her face. "So we're supposed to have different procedures with different patients?"

"No…I don't know. All I can tell you is that when Rodney woke up, he was terrified. The restraints were pushing him over the edge. As soon as we took them off, he relaxed again. I'm the first to admit he's a difficult patient, and we can't make exceptions to procedures or we'll have chaos, but we also have to treat the patients as individuals, and there's always more than one way a situation can be handled."

"Infirmary to Doctor Beckett."

"Bloody hell, what now?" He muttered under his breath, before reaching up to his earpiece. "This is Beckett."

"Sorry to bother you, sir," Anne said, sounding a little stressed. "Doctor McKay is insisting on speaking with you."

"It's okay, Anne. Do you have a radio handy you can give him, or do you need me to come down there?"

"I have a radio…"

"Put him on then."

"He's not making a whole lot of sense…It seems he's gotten himself a laptop…"

"And?"

"Something about reports."

"Reports? Anne, luv, I'm too tired to figure this out. What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure, that's the problem," she said, sighing. "After you left he was fine. He was starting to nap and the next thing I find him hollering at the top of his lungs about anything and everything and none of it makes sense. The only thing that did make sense was his demand to talk to you."

"All right, I'll be right there. Beckett out." He turned to Elizabeth and Sheppard. "It seems Rodney is asking for me. Can we continue this in a bit?"

"Carson." Weir said, her eyebrow raised, her tone clearly indicating that it was not okay.

"Lass, what do you want me to do? Anne said Rodney isn't making much sense, and is demanding to see me. Unless you're removing me as CMO, I need to get down there."

She held his gaze for a long moment before nodding. "Fine. We're not finished here and I believe we need to get to the bottom of this. Tomorrow morning, first thing."

He flinched, realizing he was going to go another night without much sleep. But he agreed anyway, since he didn't really want to lose his job. "Aye, I'll be here."

"Good," she turned to her PC, glancing up after a moment. "I thought you were leaving."

"On my way." He started back toward the infirmary, wondering what the hell Rodney was up to now.

xxx

Rodney heard Carson before he saw him and it was about time he got here.

"Anne, I'm here. What's been going on?"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Rodney bellowed, not caring who else was there. He was sitting up in bed, a laptop perched on his knees as he sped through all the reports that had been generated since he was last on Atlantis.

"Never mind, luv." Carson walked in and sat down next to the bed. "And what are we talking about, Rodney?"

"Did you even think to consider all the ramifications before shoving an alien consciousness into the Atlantis mainframe?"

Carson raised an eyebrow. "The console Durand is occupying is separate from the main systems. Radek and some of your staff actually created a whole new database for him, to ensure he was separate. Colonel Sheppard insisted on that actually."

"So the reports claim, but Zelenka can't tell one computer circuit from another and the Ancient systems are totally beyond him—for something as complex as this. I can already see some places they may have missed severing the connections. That's why you're a medical doctor and I'm a scientist."

"Aye, and you were a bit unavailable at the time. We didn't have many options, and most of the alternatives were dangerous to either you or him. This was the only solution we could find that would ensure you both survived it."

"And it was a bad solution!"

"Why do you think it was bad? He's out of you, and he won't do any harm there."

"He was a real life Ancient, Carson!" Rodney's eyes were wide. "We've barely scratched the surface of the mainframe here and he could have proved to be invaluable in the protection of the city—once you were sure he wasn't going to blow it up of course."

"And he still can. The virtual reality system will allow us to go in and visit him, ask him questions. In fact, Radek was supposed to go in just after the transfer to check on him and make sure he made it okay. Once I'm feeling a bit stronger, I plan to do the same." Carson gave him a long look. "I think he'd probably like to talk to you as well."

"If it was set up correctly, which," he said clicking on the track pad, "I doubt."

Carson sighed. "Radek and Durand worked on setting it up together. I'm sure its fine."

Rodney shook his head. "You're not understanding me. From the reports I've seen, I'm highly doubtful that this system worked at all."

Carson sat up, his face going very pale. "What do you mean? I only agreed to it when they assured me it would work safely."

"I doubt Radek would have caught it even if he was looking for it," Rodney said.

"Caught what? And if it didn't work, why didn't Radek say something right away? He tested it afterwards..."

"Radek doesn't have the gene. He's going to report what the screen tells him." He sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. "It looks like they set up a sub-section of the Atlantis mainframe. It may at one time been originally created as a virtual reality, but I don't think it was ever completed. For all intents and purposes, he merged with a folder on the Atlantis hard drive and I'm not sure if there's any way to contact him. Do you have any idea the kind of information we've lost?"

"Oh my god. Durand...no. Oh my god." Carson went white. "I'm going down there. If you see Colonel Sheppard, don't tell him where I went. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't approve."

"Carson!" Rodney lunged for him, nearly toppling the laptop onto the floor. "Don't you think about going anywhere!"

Carson dodged him. "Anne, I have something I need to take care of. Keep an eye on Rodney." He headed out the door.

"Matthews! Call Sheppard now! Carson's heading down to the East Pier to do something incredibly stupid!"

"Sir?" Anne looked very confused, looking back and forth between where Carson had disappeared and Rodney.

"Do I look like I'm kidding? Call him now. And," he said, swinging his legs off the bed, "find me a robe."

"Doctor McKay! You have strict orders to stay in bed. I'll call Colonel Sheppard for you, but please stay there."

"I have no plans to allow my friend to fry what little brain he obviously has. Either help me or get out of my way," he said, finding the room spinning a little even as he moved to the door.

She grabbed him, easing him back on to the bed. "Sir, if Doctor Beckett is in danger, you won't be able to help him alone. Please, stay there until Colonel Sheppard arrives." She reached up to activate her headset. "Infirmary to Colonel Sheppard."

"Don't get Sheppard to come here. He needs to go to the room where they stored Durand and I need to go there," he said, pushing her away as he rose to his feet again.

She pushed him down again. "Sir, please." She looked torn. "Colonel Sheppard, please respond. I have a situation."

"Let me go," he said, pushing back. "I have to go before he does something incredibly stupid. We're wasting time."

"Doctor McKay, you won't make it far without my help, and I won't help until I've spoken with Colonel Sheppard."

"I'm fine, just let me go." He said, finally managing to push her back several feet, colliding with the next bed. With his feet finally on the floor, he headed for the door, purposely ignoring the spinning. It would straighten itself out once he got moving.

"Doctor McKay!" She recovered quickly, reaching out to grab his elbow before he could fall. Finally giving in, she steered him toward a wheelchair. "Colonel Sheppard! This is the Infirmary. I really need you to respond, sir." She was starting to sound a bit desperate.

"Yell at the pilot later," he said, resigning himself to the chair. "Just drive now."

Sheppard obviously answered as she straightened, concentrating on something other than him.

"Well, sir, Doctor Beckett just left looking a bit dazed, and now Doctor McKay is attempting to leave and ordered me to call you. He said to tell you Doctor Beckett is heading for the East Pier, which is where he's trying to go."

She paused again. "Yes sir, just a moment. Doctor McKay, Colonel Sheppard is asking to speak with you." She handed over the headset.

Grabbing it, he shoved the headset in place. "What?" he said and then turned to Matthews. "And you, drive."

Anne started pushing the chair. "McKay! What the hell is going on?" John sounded irritated.

"Carson is going to try and fry his brain by connecting with the system you just set up to house Durand—which I may say was a horrible idea."

"What?! First of all, the idea was fine, just because you didn't think of it doesn't make it bad. Second of all, what do you mean Beckett's going to fry his brain?"

"One," he began, ticking it off on his fingers, "live Ancient. There's no more I need to share on that point. Two, the virtual reality system was never completed. Whatever you copied over was unfinished."

Sheppard took several moments to curse. "How much of a head start does he have?"

"Too much since you decided to stroll over to where you left your headset. What is that about?" He tried not to think about how small the transporter was.

"I was in a meeting with Elizabeth trying to save that stupid doctor's job! I'm on my way now."

"You really need to listen to me when I call you, you know."

"You weren't calling me, the infirmary was, and I'm sorry if I don't normally listen for anything related to the infirmary, since I don't get calls from there very often. Where are you now?"

"Well, you should know that she was me since I'm not allowed to have a headset yet. And we're…" He paused, looking around. "Where are we?"

"Near the transporter, Doctor McKay. We'll be there in a moment." Anne was sounding a bit aggravated.

"We're going to step into the tiny, tiny excuse for a transporter any minute now."

"Hold it together, McKay, I can't afford to have both you and Carson off your rockers at the same time. God, I need a vacation from scientists and civilians. I'll meet you at the transporter entrance on the other side. Sheppard out."

"Stupid, military…" Rodney grumbled, shutting down the link as the transporter doors opened.

"Ready, Doctor McKay?" Anne paused just outside the door.

He cringed, closing his eyes. "Just be quick."

She laid one hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly before wheeling them in and pushing the button. A few moments later, and she wheeled them out.

Trying to calm his harsh breathing, he opened his eyes, gesturing for her to keep moving.

"Sir, where did Colonel Sheppard say to wait for him?"

"Just go. Carson is down here alone."

She hesitated, but let out a sigh of relief as the transporter lit up and Sheppard himself stepped out. "Rodney, you okay?"

"Carson is down there," he said instead of answering. It was better that way.

Sheppard came over, kneeling down in front of him. "Rodney? I may need you, but if you aren't okay I'm having nurse Matthews take you back."

"Carson could be frying in that chair. We need to move." So what if his body was shaking. It was cold down here. That must be it.

"Rodney." John's eyes were narrowed. "Tell me the truth."

"The truth is that Carson might be hooking himself up to a system I might not be able to get him out of. We need to go now."

John sighed, then straightened up. "We really need to talk about this need-to-be-strong streak you've developed." He started down the hall, heading towards the lab.

"Mock the scientist, why don't you," he muttered, holding his hands so tightly together it hurt, but at least it stopped some of the shaking.

Anne reached over, as she pushed the chair, a small white pill in her hand. "I don't have any water, but if you can dry-swallow, that will help." She said quietly.

He glanced up, surprised. "What is it?"

"Doctor Beckett gave them to me earlier, and told me to give them to you if you started to panic or seem agitated."

Rodney handed it back. "You can keep your sleepy-time drugs, thank you very much." They were almost there.

"They won't put you to sleep. He said you wouldn't accept anything that would. His exact words were "That will take the edge off, let him get control if he starts to feel like he's losing it.'"

"I'm fine."

She sighed. "Okay, but if you think you need them, please ask. I like Doctor Beckett, sir, and I don't want to see him get hurt."

"Neither do I and I'm fine. Perfectly fine."

"Actually you aren't, sir. You're having a mild panic attack, as evidenced by the tenseness in your frame, and the way you're shaking. If you feel you can be at your best that way, I won't make you take these, but I thought I would offer them, since Doctor Beckett gave them to me for just this type of attack."

They rounded the corner into the room and saw Sheppard hovering over Beckett who was in the active chair.

Oh no.

xxx

Carson hurried his steps as he headed out of the infirmary, hearing Rodney order Anne to call Colonel Sheppard. He didn't have much time to get down there, and he needed to check on Durand.

God, what if it hadn't worked? What if he had helped kill Durand, or sent him into some sort of limbo? He had to fix this.

He made it to the transporter, hearing Anne calling for Colonel Sheppard to respond through his headset. Then he didn't hear anything else, so he had to assume they had managed to get him.

Moving swiftly towards the lab, Carson was almost running. He needed to do this, but if they caught him, they would stop him.

He rounded the corner, the chair still empty, although now he could hear voices behind him. They were moving fast—faster than he had thought they could with Rodney still weak. He sat down in the chair, momentarily afraid. Then he saw a shadow coming around the corner—Colonel Sheppard. Before the man had time to say anything, he mentally activated the chair, telling it to send him to Durand.

Pain, darkness, light, swirling all around him. Before he had a chance to call out, he felt himself get washed away.

xxx

"Don't just stand there, get him out of that chair!" Rodney yelled, nearly rising out of the chair to do it himself until Anne shoved him back down with her hands on his shoulders.

"Sir! Please!" Anne sounded a bit hysterical.

"Rodney, if I pull him out, while he's connected to it, won't that damage him?" Sheppard was hovering, hesitating to do something irreparable, but wanting to do something.

"I don't know," Rodney grumbled, "He's the voodoo practitioner here. I just read the specs on this thing and then he goes and runs off when I'm trying to yell at him for creating it in the first place."

"Rodney, focus! We need to do something." He gestured to Carson, whose body had gone stiff, pain creasing his face.

"I know, I know, but God, why did he have to do something so stupid? Why doesn't anyone listen to me anymore? I need to…" he began and then managed to shove himself out of the wheelchair and stumble over to the chair, sliding down behind it. Hitting the radio he was still wearing, he spoke as soon as the channel activated. "Zelenka, I need you to get down to the VR room you created and bring tools."

There was spluttering on the other line that sounded like Czech, along with a "Fine, fine, I will come."

"Rodney, what are you doing?" John came around behind him, trying to peer over his shoulder.

"Working. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Rodney..." Sheppard somehow managed to make his name four syllables.

He sighed, glaring up at the Colonel. "Right now I'm trying to open the back panel of the chair with my bare hands because I have no tools yet so I can get at the inside circuits to check on the power connections."

"Will this help?" He pulled a small screw driver out of his vest.

"Where did you get that?" he asked, grabbing it from his hands and turning back to the chair. "And why didn't you mention it five minutes ago"?

"I always have it, part of the standard gear, and you didn't ask."

"I'm not supposed to have to ask," he grumbled, the rear panel popping off. He stuck his left hand back out even as he leaned forward to peer into the space. "Flashlight."

John wordlessly handed over a small pen light.

The hand went back up. "PowerBar."

"What am I a vending machine?" John griped, but he handed one over.

Rodney glanced up, half-smirk on his face. "No. Vending machines don't complain as much as you do." He turned back to the panel, his right hand unerringly touching and checking circuits while his left held onto the flashlight, the PowerBar momentarily forgotten in his lap. He had to concentrate to keep his hand steady. He hated this.

Anne suddenly came up to his other side. She wordlessly held out the small pills again.

He glanced over, sighing. He hated those things.

"Sir," she said quietly, "I can see your hands shaking. Doctor Beckett wouldn't have left you anything he felt would impair your ability to think. He knew how much you didn't want to feel drugged right now."

"They still make things fuzzy." He wiggled his fingers, watching absently as they shook. "I can't afford to be right now."

"They won't make you fuzzy. They'll only take the edge off your panic, calm you. Sir, I don't want to see anything happen to Doctor Beckett. I wouldn't give these to you if I thought they would affect you that much. They are the mildest relaxant we have in the infirmary, and are what Doctor Beckett was planning to give you once he released you, to take on as as-needed basis."

Rodney sighed, holding his hand out. "Fine. But I'm taking them under duress."

"Rodney, just take the damn pills." John poked him in the shoulder. "Stop giving the poor woman a hard time. She's only trying to help."

He dry swallowed the two small pills before turning to Sheppard. "And if I make some horrible mistake because I can't think as clearly as I normally do, what then? Huh? Just let me work."

"Yeah, and if you accidentally cross a wire because your hand is shaking, that's better?"

"There're backup systems. Beckett would be fine," he said absently, pulling out a small crystal and checking it.

"Right, which is why you called me and told me he was going to fry his brain."

He sighed again, leaning back to glare at Sheppard. "Would you rather get down here and do this since you seem to know exactly what the problem is?"

"That's all right. It's my job to make sure you eat and don't need anything, making brilliant comments along the way. Speaking of which—" He pointed at the forgotten PowerBar.

Rodney scowled, but dropped the flashlight and reached for the bar, ripping it open and taking a bite. "Happy?" he asked around a mouthful.

"Yup. Now, get back to work. Slacker."

He glanced around, the room spinning a bit before settling down. "I'd like to, but there's only so much I can do without tools or scanners. Where is Zelenka?" He went to reach for his headset again, but a hand on his wrist stopped him.

"Rodney, are you sure you're up to this?" All traces of humor were gone from Sheppard's face.

"I'm fine. I need tools. Scanners. And Zelenka."

"Rodney, this isn't a good time for heroics. Beckett wouldn't thank you if you hurt yourself trying to save him."

He pulled his arm from Sheppard's grip. "Right now I need to work. Sheppard…John…just leave it at that, please."

The Colonel gave him a hard look. Then looked up at the hovering nurse. "Matthews, if he gets to the point where you think he medically needs to be back in the infirmary, tell me and I'll haul him out."

"Yes, sir," she replied even as Rodney sputtered.

"You don't answer to him," he said, pointing toward Sheppard. "Actually, I think your department falls under my jurisdiction, so don't listen to him at all."

Anne smiled slightly. "Actually, sir, Doctor Beckett put me in charge of your care, and asked me to keep an eye on you. I'd say that means I don't answer to either of you, but I will accept Colonel Sheppard's gracious offer of help if I feel I need it."

He scowled, narrowing his eyes. "Traitor."

"Your health is my primary concern, sir."

He turned back toward the door, pointedly ignoring her and the moving walls around him. "Where is Zelenka?"

"Zelenka is here, and welcome back to you as well. Glad to see you are feeling better, and no, I did not work myself to bone trying to save your sorry behind. Glad to be of service." The Czech dropped down next to Rodney. "Now, why is Doctor Beckett in the chair, and what is going on?"

"What are you sitting down for? I need you to connect that tablet to the system over there and give me that scanner. I need to check how you routed the power to the chair in case we need to interrupt it."

"Why would we interrupt it? We set it up specifically so power flow would never be interrupted, so as not to accidentally erase Durand."

"Nononono. See this is what I'm talking about. The chair is just the access point. The power—most of it that matters for this little experiment anyway—is where it's supposed to be in the main computer systems over there. But right now, Beckett—brilliant man that he is—completed the circuit and activated the chair to access the memory core. Without his direct approval, I'm not sure how to disconnect him and I need to find out how."

Zelenka eyed him carefully. "Why would you want to disconnect him? He had mentioned wanting to check on Durand, yes, and I had thought he would wait until he was feeling better, but that he does it now, this does not surprise me. What is going on?"

"Did you even look at the specs of this system?" Rodney shook his head. "Look, forget about it, just go and connect to the system. I'll be there in a minute." He turned, turning on the small scanner and pointing it toward the access panel.

"Of course, I looked at system! It is far beyond me, so Durand, he tells me how to connect it so it will work properly. I re-routed power, and ran tests, but actual program is of Ancient design." Radek rose and started connecting his laptop to the console as he talked.

"And it doesn't work! Or at least it shouldn't according to the reports I read."

"You read reports already? Do you not ever stop working? And we tested it. It should work perfectly."

"Of course I read the reports and of course it's going to work when you test it exactly as he asked." Rodney rolled his eyes.

"How else do you suggest I test it? I do not read Ancient, and few translations we have are in English, which, may I point out, is not my native tongue either. If actual Ancient comes along and tells me 'this says this, do it this way' I believe him."

"Just…just forget about it. Connect to the system and let me finish here."

Zelenka rolled his eyes. "Tell me again why I save you? Ancient scientist, he does not berate, works with me instead of ordering me around."

McKay felt his mouth twist. "That's the same question I asked Beckett."

"Beckett was insistent on saving you both. That is, in fact, why we use this system to begin with."

"Hello, Ancient scientist! That's a no-brainer." Rodney shook his head, checking the readings on the small screen on the scanner, reaching in to switch a few crystals around.

Rodney could feel Zelenka watching him. "And you are resident genius, are you not? I would not call that no-brainer. If we could not save you both, we would have saved just you."

"Do you have any idea the sheer amount of information he could have given us? And the trouble-shooting abilities. No amount of genius can stand up to the real thing." Satisfied with the way the power flow had been re-routed, he nodded, leaning down to check one other thing.

"He was real Ancient, yes, but also disturbed. He did not have easy life, was abused by those in power. Plus, he did not always think as we do. Personally, he gave me what Colonel Sheppard calls 'the willies.' Doctor Beckett was the only one he really spoke with for any length of time."

John had pulled Anne to the side, where they were both out of the way. Her eyes were a bit wide, going back and forth between the working scientists. "Hey, as long as they're disagreeing, you know everything's okay. It's only when they start agreeing with each other that you have a problem."

"I heard that."

"You were supposed to."

Rodney scowled at Sheppard for a moment before flicking the scanner off. He slid back a few feet, giving himself room to climb to his feet. About half-way up he wobbled.

"Rodney." Sheppard had jumped forward to grab him before he could fall. "I'm not sure this is a good idea. Why don't we let Zelenka finish up here?"

"I need to look at the interface he just hooked up and I can't reach it from here," he grumbled, leaning far too heavily on Sheppard than he wanted to.

Sheppard motioned for Anne to bring the wheel chair over, keeping a tight grip on Rodney while he waited. "Fine, but you're doing it from the chair. I don't want you to fall and crack your head open since the only guy I trust to put you back together is currently having his brain fried, okay?"

"As if the silent man in the scary chair wasn't enough of a reminder." Rodney scowled, but didn't argue as they settled him down, moving him toward the other side of the room where Zelenka watched quietly, concern on his face.

"Rodney, as much as your ego does not need boost, please do not do yourself permanent injury. I do not want your job, and as much as it pains me to admit, you are better qualified for it anyway." Zelenka handed the interface down, setting it on Rodney's lap.

"That's not the plan," he muttered, scrolling quickly through the screens. "Huh."

"Huh, what does huh mean?" John was looking over his shoulder again.

He waved Sheppard away, nearly smacking him with the gesture as he looked up to Zelenka. "Are you sure your report is accurate?"

"From what I remember, yes. However, I had been awake forty-eight hours, working on first building Ancient device from blueprints and scavenged devices, then hooking up virtual reality system." He shrugged. "When I am tired, English is irritating to translate. Why?"

"Your English isn't the problem. This is," he turned the tablet to Zelenka. "This is nothing like what you created."

Radek's eyes got wide. "That is not what I programed."

"No kidding. It's being re-written from the inside."

"But, why... I can only assume it is Durand doing it. He is not attempting to access our main database, so what is he attempting to do?"

"I don't know and I can't tell from here." He shoved the tablet fully into Zelenka's hands as he wheeled himself back to the chair, fiddling with a different section.

"What are you doing now? Rodney, this is not time for surprises."

"Working," he said, sing-songing the word as the panel finally came off with a tug.

Radek let out a string of curses in several languages. He set the laptop down and came over to where Rodney had his arms already inside the panel. A brief spark made the man in the chair whimper slightly, the first noise he had made since they arrived.

"Damn," Rodney muttered. "Okay…I think I have it."

"Have what? Rodney, what the hell are you doing?" John was by his side again.

Rodney glanced at Carson before glancing up at Sheppard. "You might want to call for a medical team, just in case this doesn't work."

He offered an apologetic glance to the man as he gripped several connections inside the arm of the chair with his hand, completing the last circuit.

"Rodney! Stop!" Sheppard lunged at him, but it was too late.

The room around him dissolved, sending him into complete darkness. Crap.

xxx