Hazy Shade Of Winter

Chapter 6: Christmas Past, Part 5 (Christmas Day)

Author's Note: Well, this is it! Happy Holidays, everyone! Here's to great things- and season 3- in 2007!

Thanks as always to the reviewers: Amanda, Jess, Tanya, Rachel, Gab, samitiny, judetomfan101, M, R &V.

Chapter 6: Christmas Past, Part 5 (Christmas Day)

"Look around..."

"Grass is high."

"Fields are ripe."

"It's the springtime of my life..."

"Seasons change with the scenery..."

"Weaving time in a tapestry."

"Won't you stop and remember me..."

A light snow fell that Christmas morning. It stopped by midday, but the bitter cold continued.

Inside their home, Jude and Tommy luxuriated in the warmth emanating from the fireplace, as they readied the apartment for their first party. She draped a heavy forest-green brocade cloth over their long rectangular buffet table. On top of it, she neatly arranged cranberry-colored glasses, and the new china plates with the holly-and-mistletoe design, before adding silverware and matching dark-green napkins. A red poinsettia plant placed precisely in the center provided the perfect finishing touch.

The table set, Jude stepped into the kitchen, where Tommy slaved over the food. Platters of assorted sandwiches stood on a nearby counter, while bowls of various salads chilled in the refrigerator.

Right now, Tommy's attention focused solely on the contents of the casserole dish in his hands. He scrutinized it carefully, before finally sliding it into the over and pressing a button.

"That looks good!" Jude smiled.

"How would you know? You've never even tasted it before!" he teased her.

"No... But only because you never made it for me before..."

"Never cooked it at all, period!" Tommy grinned. "Never wanted to. Never had a reason to."

"Until now."

"I know it's gonna be great..." Jude smiled again, before saying.

"Just no "accidental" fire alarms today. It's way too cold out there!"

"I'll do my best!" Tommy promised her, as her eyes grew soft and thoughtful.

"What?" he asked.

"I have something here..." she whispered, holding out a sprig from a green and red plant.

"Mistletoe..."

Tommy needed no further encouragement. He seized the bottom of Jude's long dark-red cashmere sweater and snatched her into his arms.

"You asked for it..." he said seductively, sliding his lips onto hers.

The heated embrace continued until they were both breathless. Finally, necessarily, they drew apart.

"When was the last time I told you how much I love you?" Tommy whispered softly.

"I think... just now." Jude answered happily.

"Everything's perfect... Our first party in our apartment..."

"What time is it, anyway?"

"Almost 2:00"

Tommy tensed in Jude's arms. His father would be there in mere minutes.

"Just get it over with... Then, you can enjoy the rest of the day..."

His girlfriend hugged him and murmured comfortingly.

"It's going to be okay. All of it!"

"I know..."

"You want something to drink?" she asked him.

"Just a soda. If we've got any!" he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Jude just laughed and reached into the giant silver cooler, removing a can of ginger ale for him as well as a diet cola for herself. She passed Tommy his drink, and they sat on the long leather couch to wait.

2:00 came and went and there was no sign of James Quincy.

"He's late..." Jude remarked, before Tommy could say it.

"Yeah..."

"No surprise there... I could never count on him before... Why should now be any different!"

At 2:30, Tommy snorted disgustedly, before walking into the kitchen to check on his special dish, which was baking in the oven. It looked and smelled perfect. He was adjusting the heat, when their downstairs buzzer sounded. Jude answered it.

"Yes? Ok."

"Your father's on the way up..."

He followed Jude down the hallway. They could easily hear the noisy rattle of the approaching elevator.

"We really should do something about that... it's too loud!" Tommy thought, clearly nervous.

Seconds later, the elevator reached their floor and the doors opened. A huge floral arrangement, containing roses, freesia, and baby's breath emerged. The large size of the bouquet concealed the identity of the person carrying it.

But both Tommy and Jude already knew who that was. He shifted the flowers in his arms as he stepped up to them.

"Tom... Jude..." he said as they both stared at him, shocked.

"So pale... Even more so that he was at the benefit... And he's shaking too... He looks so frail..."

"Merry Christmas." James told them sincerely.

"I know... I look awful..."

"Sorry, I'm late... I had... some trouble getting here."

"We're glad you did." Jude said quickly, to diffuse the tension saturating the air.

"These are for you." James told her, carefully handing her the flowers.

"Thanks!" Jude replied, carefully taking the heavy bundle in both arms.

"I'll just go find a vase. Or several!" she said, before leaving the two men alone.

"I'll take your coat." Tommy said politely, as his father shrugged it off. Tommy quickly stuffed it into the closet, as James handed him the larger of the two bags he carried.

Peeking inside it, he saw the tops of several wine bottles.

"Vintage..." the older man told him. "Supposed to be really excellent."

Tom just raised an eyebrow at him, and James smiled.

"Or so I was told. I wouldn't know. I don't drink anymore." he assured Tommy.

"Haven't since... the accident. And now... I really can't. It could kill me. Just like it killed his mother..."

He was distracted from this dark irony by a familiar odor, wafting deliciously through the air.

"Tortiere... Just like she used to make every Christmas..."

"Tortiere..." was all he said.

"Did Jude make that?"

"No." Tommy said wryly. "I did."

He braced himself for his macho father's scorn. But instead, James just nodded and asked him.

"You like to cook?"

"Yes"

"That's good." James said.

"I'd eat a lot better if I could."

"You do look... thin." Tommy commented.

"Yes... I've lost some weight... That's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Our other guests will be coming soon..." Tom said uneasily.

"I won't stay long." James promised.

"Just... long enough."

"Let's go somewhere private..." Tommy replied, leading his father through the apartment to one of the guest bedrooms.

"You've got a beautiful place here." the older man told him, taking in the expensive, tastefully elegant, but still cozy decor.

"We like it."

"You've done really well for yourself... A beautiful home. Very successful career. And... someone special to share it all with."

"Yes"

"I messed all that up..." James mused.

"And I wish... I could get it back. You back."

"Why?" Tommy asked, both hostile and curious.

"Why now? Why not ten years ago? Or five? Or two years from now?" he challenged him.

"I can't wait any longer!" James cried out.

"Why not?"

"I'm sick." James told Tommy.

His son's eyes narrowed thoughtfully, as he continued.

"Pancreatic cancer." he said.

"I'm sorry." Tom parroted back automatically.

"I start chemotherapy next week. But they don't know... how that's going to go."

"I could die..."

"He could die..." Tommy's thoughts echoed.

"What did you want to give me?"

James now took the small bag he still carried and spilled it's contents onto the bed.

Tommy smiled, picking up each of the photos that fell out, one by one and studying them carefully.

"I haven't seen these in a really long time..."

"I know..." his father answered.

"Those were the first photos ever taken of you. In the hospital, right after you were born."

Tommy picked up another. In it, his mother, tired and glowing sat up in her hospital bed, cradling him lovingly in her arms.

He noted the diamond bracelet, glittering incongruously on her wrist.

"They gave her that at the hospital?" Tommy remarked sarcastically.

"No. I did." James told him.

"I don't remember her ever wearing it..."

"No..." his father's voice drifted off thoughtfully.

"I gave it to her the Christmas right before you were born... I read somewhere it was the traditional gift for first babies..."

He paused, then continued.

"She only wore it on special occasions. Said it was much too precious to wear other times... I guess... after a while... I didn't give either of you too many of those. I'm so sorry about that. I always will be" James added regretfully.

He paused, expecting an angry reply.

Remarkably, instead, Tommy remained silent. Somehow, the time for bitterness had passed.

"Anyway, she'd want you to have it..." James told him, handing Tommy a small rectangular box.

"You'll have better luck with it than we did." he proclaimed confidently.

Tommy opened the lid and just stared at the jewels inside.

"I don't know what to say... How to thank you."

"You just did." his father assured him.

"You'll give it to someone important someday. "

"To Jude..." both men knew.

"It makes me feel better... Just to know I could do something to make you happy..." James said.

"Finally"

"I love you, son. I always have. I always will."

"I..." Tommy stammered. He still couldn't say those words to his father. But for the first time in years, he felt a flicker of warmth towards him..

The chime of the doorbell saved him from further words. Before Jude could answer it, a voice screamed.

"Jude! Hello! Christmas babe!"

"Vincent Spiederman. Of the eponymous SME." James remarked

"Yep!"

"Quite a mouth on him."

"Tell me about it!" Tommy replied, as he and his father laughed together, hearing Jude greet Speed and then her sister and mother, who arrived next

"Jude's family..." Tom explained to his own.

"And you need to go. I understand." James replied.

"I'll just get right out of the way then."

The two took a few steps towards the door. Suddenly, Tommy stopped.

"You don't... have to go."

"No" his father replied, hope illuminating his eyes.

"Why don't you... stay for a little while?"

"I would like that. If you're sure."

"I am. Very sure."