Danny didn't plan to kiss her that night.
But because he did, Ann seemed to make sure that they were never alone together after that. He didn't see her at the beach in the late afternoons as he'd grown accustomed to, though that could have been because of her school schedule.
He overheard his mother talking to Mrs. Walker that Thanksgiving evening and it sounded as though Ann was taking a full load for the fall semester so she could spend her final spring semester at Pearl High having a little bit of fun.
He was at his parent's house for Sunday breakfast not long before Christmas and ended up on the back porch sofa after the kitchen was cleaned up. As was the case since Thanksgiving, he couldn't help but think about Ann's response to his kiss.
He wasn't nearly as experienced as some of his fellow pilots, but he knew when a girl was a willing participant. Caroline's infrequent kisses always felt to him more an obligation, unless she wanted something and then they could be downright incendiary.
As he thought about Ann, Danny couldn't figure out what affected him more about that simple kiss. The fact that her lips were soft, warm and trembled a little when he rested his on hers or when she responded to his gentle urging and his heart began to trip double time. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to kiss her the way he really wanted to because he knew that she trusted that he wouldn't.
He knew he'd scared her with their sudden intimacy, she didn't hesitate to tell him that. But he also knew that it affected her as much as it did him, maybe more and that was why she was keeping him at arms length.
"You'd think that with the Harris girl out of the picture, you wouldn't be sittin' back here broodin'." He heard his father's voice at the back door and looked up.
"I'm not brooding." He said defensively.
"The hell you ain't. You were just startin' to look a little more relaxed after sendin' that girl packin' and now it looks like you're right back at square one. What's goin' on?" He asked as he sat down next to Danny.
"Nothing is going on Dad."
"Daniel don't forget who you're talkin' to, I know when you've got somethin' on your mind. So come on, give."
He sighed and did something he never did before; he fibbed to his father. "I'm just not used to being at loose ends. The Academy is behind me and as happy as I am to finally be a pilot, it's a little anti-climactic after everything that I went through to make it happen. All of my goals have been reached and I don't know what to do next."
His father didn't look convinced, but didn't pursue the matter. "Well, I'd say your next goal would be to keep trainin' as best you can to be as fine a pilot as you can. That way when you eventually get put into the combat rotation, you'll be as ready as possible."
Combat rotation.
How could he possibly think about trying to convince Ann to give him a chance when there was the very real possibility that he might not come home? But what if he didn't at least try and something happened? What would be the bigger regret?
"The possibility of combat seemed so far away when I was at the Academy. Now it's staring me right in the face and I wonder if I'm ready?" He looked at his father.
The Major put an arm around his shoulders. "Just trust in your trainin' son. I could tell you what the experience was like for me, but it ain't somethin' you can understand until you go through it. What you're experiencin' up there everyday is pretty damn close to the real thing, that's why the instructors are almost always former combat pilots. They can give you the benefit of their own experiences and it really does help."
"Thanks Dad."
"Sure thing." He said as he got up and walked to the door before he stopped and turned around. "There was a reason I came out here Danny. I need to ask you a big favor."
"What is it?"
"I was wonderin' if you were still plannin' on goin' to the swing dance tonight?"
He nodded. "That was the plan, wasn't it? Hank and I tracked down a couple of old Air Corps uniforms and we planned on wearing them."
"Is he takin' your sister?"
"He is."
"Well that's where my favor comes in." He answered. "Annie was plannin' on goin' with a boy from one of her classes, but he called her last night and broke their date. Danny says she ain't too keen on goin' without a date..."
"And he wants to know if I'd escort her." He finished.
"That's it. They're all goin' but Danny says that she's so embarrassed that she don't want to go even though she loves these types of things."
The opportunity to see her was dropped in his lap and Danny knew he'd be a fool if he passed it up. He couldn't help but notice that his heart rate began to quicken, but tried to appear to his father as though it were no big deal. "If it means that much to the Walker's that Ann be there with them, I can take her."
Major McCawley didn't seem to be any the wiser. "Thank you son. I'll go over and tell Danny." He smiled before he walked back into the house.
Danny could imagine that Ann might be upset with him, but he also knew that she wouldn't make a fuss in front of her parents. If it were like the D-Day anniversary dance his parents wrote him about, there would be a lot of music that would give him the opportunity to hold her close. It would also give him the chance to talk to her.
He stood in the living room of his parent's house a few hours later with his father, brother and Hank. Mama was dressed and ready to go, but Sarah needed some last minute help with her hair. She couldn't get it to cooperate in the style she wanted and Mama thought it was going to take two pair of hands to get it to work.
His father still looked sharp in his old uniform and Hank's borrowed uniform fit him as though it were his own. Joe wore the uniform of a Navy ensign and caught a lot of good-natured ribbing from Hank about it.
What was taking her so long?
Danny tried not to look impatient and smiled when Hank broke the quiet. "Smoke 'em if you got 'em fellas. I think it's going to be awhile."
They all laughed and Danny's spirits began to rise. If this dance was anything like the one in June, it sounded as though it was going to be a lot of fun.
"As soon as Sarah finds her handbag, we can be on our way." Mama's voice got them all to look toward the hall and he saw his father's face flush. She was beautiful in the cream colored satin dress she wore and her dark hair was gathered into what she explained earlier was a snood, which matched the dress.
His father was speechless as he walked over to her and kissed her cheek. "You look beautiful honey."
She flushed at his compliment and laid a hand over his left breast pocket. "I've always preferred this uniform. It always reminds me of that young lieutenant I stuck the needle with."
"How's our girl doin'?" He asked her with a smile.
"She's ready to go." Sarah answered as Danny watched her walk into the living room and she looked great. "Mama let me wear her dress from that night you were at the nightclub in New York." She seemed to feel the need to explain to her father. Her hair was also in a snood that matched and Hank looked absolutely stunned.
"You look just as pretty as your mama did that night." Major McCawley smiled at her.
Her face flushed at his sincere compliment. "Thanks Dad."
"If we're all ready to go, let's get a move on." He answered. "Danny, why don't you go over to the Walker's and get Ann and we'll meet you over there."
Sarah raised her eyebrows at him and smiled. "Ann?"
"Sarah Jane, do you have something to say?" His mother asked her with a slight frown.
Her smile grew wider. "You're going to knock her for a loop in that Air Corps uniform."
Hank walked over to her and took her arm. "Allow me to escort you outside Miss McCawley." He said as he walked her to the front door. "We'll wait for you outside." And after he waited for Sarah to proceed him, he followed her out.
"I'll be outside with them." Joe told his family and walked to the door Hank left open and stepped outside, closing the door behind him.
"Rafe, I don't know what's gotten into her." His mother said in exasperation.
"And what does Ann have to do with this?" His father looked at him.
"I wish I knew Dad." He said and turned to pick up his cap before his father saw the flush that began to creep up his neck. "I can take Joe in my car if you want." He said as he faced his parents. "I've got plenty of room."
"That's all right son, but thank you for offerin'. We'll see you when you get there."
"Yes Sir." He answered as they walked to the front door and Mama was turning out the lights except for the one in the front window. "You look beautiful tonight Mama."
The compliment seemed to surprise her and she smiled. "Thank you Danny. You're a picture of your father in that uniform."
"Thank you Ma'am." Danny smiled at her as he stepped out on the porch and waited for his parents to follow. He glanced at the driveway and saw Joe standing by the side of their parents car while Hank helped Sarah into the front seat of his. His own car was parked in front of the house and all he needed to do now was go down to the Walker's house and get Ann. "We shouldn't be too far behind you."
"Danny sure appreciates you doin' this for Ann and I do too." Major McCawley smiled at him.
He shook his head. "It's no big deal Dad. We were all going anyway."
"Nevertheless, it is appreciated." His mother answered.
"Yes Ma'am. I'll see you there." And he leaned over and kissed his mother's cheek before he stepped off the porch and headed down the walk. He turned up the sidewalk and the closer he got to their house, he began to worry that Ann really wouldn't be happy with the situation. His stomach began to knot up, but this time for a very different reason. It wasn't because he didn't care, it was because he was beginning to care too much.
He turned into the front walk and headed to the porch. He stepped up to the front door and realized that this was the first time he'd ever knocked on the Walker's front door. As kids, he and his brother and sister were in and out of the house so much that no one ever bothered.
His godfather opened the door, wearing his old Air Corps uniform and smiled at him. "Come on in son. We ain't quite ready to leave yet."
It shouldn't have felt as awkward as it did when he walked into the house, but to be honest, it suddenly felt like a date.
"You look very handsome Danny." Mrs. Walker smiled at him. "I always preferred those uniforms."
He smiled. "Mama just said the same thing."
"What's keepin' those kids of ours?" Major Walker looked at his watch.
"Perhaps it's because your son doesn't want to be seen in clothes from the olden days, as he told me." She explained and then looked at Danny. "I tried to explain to him that children dressed differently in those days then they do now."
"I wish I were old enough to wear a uniform." Tom announced as he walked out to the living room.
"I wish I were old enough to wear a formal." Shelby said as she followed her younger brother. "Mama, bobby socks?"
"I think you look very nice, the both of you. I know it's not something that you would ordinarily wear, but this is what children wore and it's only for one evening. All right?" She humored them.
They both nodded. "At least Annie gets to wear a pretty dress." Shelby added.
"And when you get to be her age, then you can too." His godfather told her. "Come on troops; let's get movin'. That band ain't goin' to wait all night you know." And he began to usher them out of the house. "Tell Annie we went ahead and we'll meet you there." And as soon as his family was out the door, he closed it behind him.
If Danny felt a little awkward when he first walked in he now felt downright uncomfortable because Ann's father left him in the house alone with his daughter. He knew that if it were anyone but he or his brother, the Major wouldn't have done it.
"Why is it so quiet out here?" Danny turned around to see Ann walking into the living room. When she saw him she stopped dead in her tracks and her cheeks turned pink.
He felt a flush creep up his neck again because he'd never seen Ann in a formal before and couldn't remember when she'd ever been prettier. The dress she wore was simple enough. It was a wine colored dress that looked to be velvet and it fit her like a glove. Her dark hair was loose and curled around her shoulders. "You look really nice Ann." He commented after trying to clear his throat.
She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "It's Mama's. She wore it the night she met Dad."
"It suits you."
"Thank you. That uniform suits you too." Her words were clipped and Danny understood how uncomfortable she felt.
"Thank you." And he cleared his throat again. "Are you ready to go?"
She picked up her handbag from the coffee table and nodded.
"Are you all right with this?" His voice came out almost in a whisper.
"This was Dad's idea because he didn't want me to miss the dance." She told him.
"That's not what I asked."
"I know. He doesn't know that you kissed me either because if he did, he probably wouldn't have asked you to do this."
"Probably. Are you sorry that you kissed me back?"
"Gramps shouldn't have left us alone on your porch together." She sighed.
"Why do you answer my questions with a statement?" He was beginning to understand that Ann Walker could be downright stubborn, but he could be just as persistent. He gently grasped her elbows and could feel her tremble as he pulled her closer and he heard her handbag hit the floor. "And why have you been avoiding me?"
"I told you that I needed time to sort this out and when I asked you not to kiss me again, you went ahead and tried anyway."
She was right.
"Guilty as charged." He admitted with a sigh.
"And then you tried to persuade me to stay out on the porch with you." She added.
"I did."
"What you need to understand is that you have more experience with this sort of thing than I do and I've never had a boy kiss me the way you did."
"I'm not a boy Ann." He said softly as he pulled her into his arms.
"Don't you think I know that?" She whispered back and grabbed his sleeves, trying to push him back. "You told me that you were having a hard time not seeing me as a kid. Well I'm having the hardest time seeing you as the grown man you are because you aren't the seventeen-year-old boy who left here four years ago. You went away for such a long time and when we went to Colorado to see you graduate, this handsome Air Force pilot that I didn't know had replaced the boy I grew up with."
"That's the second time you've called me handsome." He wanted to smile but didn't because she was so serious.
"It's because you are and I feel like it's something I shouldn't notice because we've known each other for such a long time."
"You make it sound almost incestuous."
"That's not what I mean and you know it!" She pulled away from him and walked toward the kitchen before she stopped and turned around. "I don't know why you're suddenly in such a hurry with this. You've only been broken up for a couple of months and instead of taking time to be on your own, you seem to have decided to find someone else."
"I didn't plan to kiss you."
"I know that."
"Ann, I have feelings for you that I didn't think were possible six months ago or even three. And I think that you have feelings for me that you never expected and it's scaring the hell out of you."
"Gramps thinks it was God's Will that the Air Force stationed you here. The way he put it was that maybe you were meant to see someone you hadn't seen before you left." She explained.
He smiled. "I love that old guy."
"I know you do, so do I." She said to him.
"Do you think he's right?" He became serious and moved closer to her as she began to back up. "Do you think that you were the girl that I was supposed to see?"
"He didn't say that and neither am I." She reasoned. "I'm sure there were plenty of girls you knew from Pearl High that might be it."
"I think you already know that's not true." He smiled as he kept moving toward her and the wall suddenly stopped her progress. "You really are pretty in that dress."
"You already said that."
"And I meant it." He took hold of her elbows again and pulled her toward him.
"Danny, if we don't leave now our parents might begin to wonder what's happened to us and they'll come back. Do you really want my father and yours to find us like this?" She asked and the look in her eyes pleaded with him to let her go.
He backed up and reluctantly let her go. "No. If you're ready, my car is down at my parent's house."
She nodded and walked back toward the coffee table to pick up the handbag that she'd dropped on the floor. "I still think you should look for a girl your own age."
"And I already told you that I should have a say in that." He answered as he opened the door and waited for her to walk out ahead of him.
They made it to the hangar in good time and Danny found a place to park. Ann was quiet on the trip over and he couldn't help but worry about what she was thinking. He couldn't ever remember being so insistent with any other girl and for the life of him, couldn't understand why it turned out to be Ann Walker that he was so insistent with.
He walked around to the passenger door, opened it and gave Ann his hand to help her out, which she took. But only for a moment. They walked toward the hangar and the closer they got he could hear "In the Mood" playing. He reached over and grasped her hand again for just a moment. "I'm sorry Ann."
"I know you are." She answered before she pulled her hand out of his.
He took a deep breath and sighed before he walked inside. It was like they stepped back in time and he got a taste of what his parents must have experienced when they were his age. There was a mirrored ball that hung from the rafters and turned in a slow circle. There were two lights trained on the large orb that caused squares of light to reflect all around the hangar. A bandstand was set up at the far end and he could see that the Wheeler Air Force Base Dance Band provided the music.
He looked over to see if Ann was still with him because the farther they walked inside, it became a crush of people and he suddenly felt her hand grip his and she leaned in close.
"Ann are you all right?" Danny looked down at her and he could see that she was losing some of the color in her face.
"I'm fine." She told him but the farther in they went her grip on his hand tightened and he began to worry.
As he looked around for their families, he couldn't help but notice all of the old Air Corps uniforms. Some still fit the officers and some didn't fit as well as they used to, but the pride with which they were worn made him feel like a bit of a fake. The uniform he wore was from his father's era and he didn't feel worthy of wearing it. The women, young and not so young were dressed much like his sister and Annie were, though many wore the uniforms of the WAVES and the WACS while some wore nurses uniforms.
"Danny." Her voice sounded panicked and her palm began to feel damp against his.
"Ann, are you going to faint?"
"Yes." Her voice was so faint in the noise of the hangar, he barely heard her.
"Then we need to get you the hell out of here." And he let go of her hand only long enough to get an arm around her back, the other under her knees and he picked her up. He pushed his way through the crowd without apology as Ann's head rested on his shoulder.
"This is so humiliating." He heard and she sounded as though she were going to cry.
"Be quiet until I get you outside." He gently admonished her as he continued to push his way through. When they reached the tarmac, he looked for a place that Ann could sit and get her breath. Several chairs and benches were set up near the hangar and Danny found a bench for them to sit.
"Is she all right Sir?" A young airman approached them as he set her down.
"Could you get her a glass of water or some seltzer if you have it?" Danny asked as he sat down next to her and tried not to panic.
"Yes Sir." And he disappeared inside.
From the light of the hangar Danny could see a film of perspiration on her forehead and she was as white as a sheet. "I'm sorry Danny. I forgot that I get claustrophobic in large crowds." She said and put her head back down on his shoulder.
He took her hands in his and began to rub them. They were colder than they should have been and he worried that she might still faint. "Don't be sorry Ann. If I'd remembered that I wouldn't have walked you into that hangar."
He continued to rub her hands, as much to warm them as to feel their softness between the roughness of his own.
"Ann?" Danny heard the worried voice of Ann's mother call before he saw her rush out of the hangar with Major Walker behind her. "Ann, are you all right?"
"The crowds in the hangar were a little too much for her." Danny explained.
"How are you feelin' baby girl?" Major Walker looked worried and didn't seem to notice that Ann's head was on his shoulder. He took the hands that Danny let go of when he heard Mrs. Walker's voice and took them in his own. "Your hands are warm, that's a good thing."
"You can thank Danny for that Dad." Ann said quietly and Danny thought she sounded tired.
The Major smiled at him. "Thank you son. This ain't happened for such a long time that we figured it wouldn't happen again."
The young airman that Danny sent in after some water returned with a large tumbler and asked. "Is she going to be okay?"
He looked down at the pale face and asked softly. "Are you going to be all right Ann?"
She nodded and sat up as he handed her the glass. She drained it and handed it to the young man. "Thank you." She said and he smiled at her before he walked back into the hangar.
"Well it looks like you're in good hands honey so Mama and I are goin' back inside. Once it clears out a bit in there, come on in. We've got a table big enough for all of us."
"Thanks Dad. We'll be in soon." She assured him.
"Danny, I'll let your folks know you're here and that you'll be joinin' us."
"Thank you Sir. I appreciate that." And he watched them go back inside. "I really like your dad."
"Me too."
He smiled at her. "I really like you too."
Her face flushed and it was then Danny noticed that the color had returned to her face. "I really like you too Danny and it isn't because of your uniform." Her laugh was gentle and he loved the sound of it. "I'm just sorry for being so difficult."
"You haven't been difficult Ann, you were about to faint." He couldn't help but smile but Ann remained serious.
"That's not what I mean. What's happening between us was something I never considered because you're so much older. Then before I knew it you were telling me that you were thinking about me and then you kissed me. I didn't handle it very well and you didn't have a very nice Thanksgiving because of it."
He sighed. "I didn't have a good Thanksgiving because I was feeling sorry for myself and that isn't your fault. The day we talked at the beach I just finished talking to Hank and he pretty much told me to keep my feelings to myself for the time being. I didn't and you weren't ready for it."
"I'm still getting used to it."
"I know you are because I am too." He admitted and felt better than he had since Thanksgiving because they seemed to have cleared the air. The band began to play a romantic tune and Danny took her hand in his and it was warm. "Ann?"
"Yes?"
"It seems a shame to let a nice song like this go to waste. Would you dance out here with me?" He asked.
She smiled. "We've never danced together before."
Danny smiled back at her before he stood up and offered her his hand. "Sure we have. Don't you remember Mrs. Dearborn's wedding?"
Ann laughed as she stood up and took it. "I was four and a half years old, how would I remember that?"
He held her hand in a gentle grip as they walked to the edge of the hangar. He put one arm around her waist and took her hand in his. They began to turn slowly to the music as Danny pulled her close to him and she put her head down on his shoulder. "This is better than Mrs. Dearborn's wedding."
She laughed again and looked up at him. "At least I'll remember this."
"And this too I hope." He smiled at her before he leaned over and kissed her. Her lips were warm and softer than he remembered from their first kiss and she didn't hesitate this time to answer.
When he finally and reluctantly broke the kiss she was smiling. "You're right."
"About what?" He smiled back at her.
"This is much better than Mrs. Dearborn's wedding." She told him and put her head back on his shoulder as they danced together at the edge of the hangar with the reflections from the mirrored ball sparkling all around them.
"I thought you said you didn't remember Mrs. Dearborn's wedding." He laughed and when she looked up at him with the smile still on her face, he kissed her again.