Hey, it's me! (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN! woman screams)
How do you like the new special effects? Pretty cheesy, eh?

Sorry I took so long, I had family matters and the accursed Writers Block to deal with.

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, the Twilight Zone, Resident Evil, Monty Python, Ghostbusters, or Gilligan's Island. Wow, less brand name usage! I'm on a roll!

CHAPTER 4: ANOTHER BAD ANALOGY

Mario and friends head to another pipe and try to jump in, but the pipe spits them out.

Goombella: Wow, rejected by a pipe. That can't be very good for the ego.

Koops: Tell me about it.

Mario starts to break down and cry, but pulls himself together and thinks. He finally comes up with a solution, and tosses a stick of dynamite and a buck in. The dynamite explodes and does nothing, but when the single goes in the pipe lets the trio in.

Goombella: Wow, Mario, how did you do that?

Mario: Heh, there's no problem big enough that money can't solve.

Mario walks away smugly, while Koops and Goombella ponder that. After a bit, they catch up to Mario and look around Twilight Town… in the Twilight Zone (theme starts to play). Oh, better stop that, it's fricking annoying. (gunshot rings out) . That's better!

Suddenly a zombie guy walks up to the three.

Zombie freak: Are you adventurers? If you are, maybe you can help us…

Suddenly a dinner bell goes off.

Zombie freak: Oh, no… Who is it now?

Suddenly the guy turns into a pig.

Mario: What the crap?

Guy: That's what I thought.

Another zombie guy comes up to Mario and the gang, with his brains sticking out of his head.

Mario: Wait, hold up. Who are you?

Guy: I'm the mayor of Twilight Town. We're a town of zombie freaks.

Mario: Hey, wait. If this is a zombie town, shouldn't someone from Resident Evil come in with a shotgun or something?

Suddenly Jill Valentine comes through the pipe with a shotgun, and kills everyone in town. Except our heroes, they live. Anyway, Jill leaves.

Mario: Well, that was convenient.

Mario and friends head through town, stepping over decaying corpses, and meet Vivian, from chapter 2.

Koops: Uh, hey, do I know you?

Vivian: Uh, yeah, remember? I was in chapter 2.

Flashback

"Hey, Mario, you got an F on this essay test. You know why?" Mario's 8th grade teacher asked.

"Uh, no."

"Because I asked for a one thousand word essay on the wonders of history-" Mario snored "… WAKE UP! Anyway, I gave you a one thousand word essay, and you drew a picture of George Washington as a stick figure!"

"Well, isn't a picture worth a thousand words?"

"…Fine, I'll move your grade up to a C-."

End Flashback

Vivian: No, you idiot, wrong flashback.

The Right Flashback

"Ahem… we were sent by Sir Grodus to stop you!" Beldam declared.

"We are… the Charlie's Angels!" Vivian said.

"No we're not, you idiot! We're the three Shadow Sirens! SHADOW SIRENS! For this incompetence, you must get a punishment too harsh for your actions that might either harden you for life or give you an everlasting loathing of me! Crucifix!"

"Beldam! You already gave me the crucifix! Remember?"

Flashback in a Flashback

"Vivian! What are you doing?" Beldam asked angrily.

"Uh, breathing, living, vital life processes, otherwise, nothing really."

"What? How dare you! CRUCIFIX!"

End Flashback in a Flashback

"Oh yeah… then I'll just send you to the Gorge of Eternal Peril or something…" Beldam sighed.

End the Right Flashback

Koops: Oh yeah…

Mario: Want to join us?

Vivian: Hmm… okay!

And so they wander off into the woods, because there was no other place to go. And because we're addicted to wandering. Eventually our posse finds some old church. As they walk in, they pull out guns. Suddenly the Ghostbusters theme starts to play, and the guys instead put the guns away and pull out vacuums. A bunch of Boos fly out randomly and start doing that weird noise they do. As the heroes are sucking them up, Vivian goes to a switch and turns on a light. All the Boos just fade away.

Koops: Yeah… I was gonna do that.

Vivian (I'll just call her Viv): Sure…. Anyway, wanna look around?

They do so, and happen across a room with a guy in a sheet.

Goombella: Hey, dude, isn't it, like, totally past Halloween?

Sheet Guy: It is? Damn, I didn't know! No wonder the kids weren't coming….

Mario: Dude, it's friggin APRIL. 6 months after Halloween.

Sheet Guy: I was wondering about that. And I've been trying to get the townspeople to come up here too.

Koops: How?

SG: Turning them into pigs.

Viv: Why pigs?

SG: Why not, they're always so depressed. If they're wallowing in gloom, might as well wallow in mud! Hahahahahaha!

Goombella: Dude. The author can think of better analogies. And his are horrible. I mean, look at last chapter! "Blitzing and gladiators: they're both going to tackle each other." That is fricking God awful!

Hey, I have feelings too you know!

Koops: Who was that?

Viv: I think that was the author.

Damn straight! That's it, I'm leaving!

Mario: Great. Now how's the story going to move along?

Koops: I guess we'll have to narrate it ourselves as it comes along.

Goombella: Like, guys, how's this story, like, still going if the author's in, like, some corner crying?

Mario: Don't question the laws of story physics!

Viv: I guess I'll narrate. Uh, that freak-sheet guy… hey, you mind telling us your name?

SG: I'm Doop- uh, I mean, no one you need to know about. It's not important.

Koops: Doesn't sound like it's unimportant.

Viv: We all start backing him into a corner, until he spills.

SG: Fine! My name's Doopliss!

Doopliss suddenly drops down to the floor and starts writhing uncontrollably, like a seizure.

Goombella: Like, you're back!

Yeah, well, I need the cash.

The guys now find a gun, and shoot Doopliss-

Doopliss: ARG!

-wow, even when he's dead he can't stand his name being heard. Anyway, they shot him and looted his house, finding a crystal star in the process. They head back to the Millennium-Old Door Thingy and do… CHEESY SEQUENCE! YAY! Anyway, some island appears.

Viv: Hey, isn't that Gilligan's Island?

Everyone stares at her.

Viv: What? TV Land isn't THAT bad!

Meanwhile, on THE MOON!

11:59 PM

Peach is with Grodus in a bar, both drunk.

Grodus: Okay, okay, this is the best part. And then, I'm like, 'Get off my lawn, or I'll stick the HOSE on ya!'

They both burst into hysterical laughter.

Grodus: Oh, and the best part is, the moon doesn't even have a lawn! How f---ed-up is THAT!

They both break into hysterical laughter again before passing out.

So how'd ya like it? Pretty good, right? RIGHT! Well, anyway, Read and Review! OR ELSE... face the wrath of utter cuteness known as... my teddy bear (that I don't sleep with)! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!

Hey, was I right? It was good special effects, right?