For a guy who was so used to being on the move, lying in a hospital bed with a broken leg was something that Lieutenant Daniel McCawley had no use for. He had no use for feeling like a three-year-old child either, who couldn't do the simplest things by himself.
But that's the way it was for him at the moment and he hated it.
He was finally taken off sedation two weeks after the surgery to repair his leg because it had begun to mend the way the doctor hoped and it looked as though Danny might finally be able to get out of bed. It would only be as far as a wheelchair, but it meant being able to look at something other than his four walls. He knew that he was becoming a difficult patient but that was only because he wanted to go home, and not to his parents house.
That was out of his hands though because even after he was discharged from the hospital he needed to stay in bed and Mama decided that it would be better if he had someone around to help him. He didn't want to talk to Dad about it because he didn't want to hurt his mother's feelings but when it came time to leave the hospital he wanted to go home to his quarters and sleep in his own bed.
Ann was at the hospital every day to see him and tell him about her first year of college. She sounded so enthusiastic and excited and Danny was happy for her but because of the dream he'd had about them, found it difficult to look her in the eye. It wasn't as though it had actually happened, but he couldn't help but feel that he'd betrayed a trust in some way because he'd dreamed about it.
"Hey Lieutenant, I hear you might actually get around to see some of those pretty nurses today." Danny's attention was drawn to the door and his best friend was grinning at him. "I just saw your mother and she said the doctor might put you in a wheelchair for a little while."
"Those nurses might be pretty, but they aren't Ann." He smiled back.
"They aren't Evelyn either, but they are still pretty." Hank shot back as he walked into the room and Danny wondered if his friend understood what he'd just said. True to his word though, Danny wasn't going to bring it up. "So how are you feeling?"
"Like a guy who's been lying in bed for the last three weeks." He sighed.
"I know this isn't easy Dan, but you want that leg to heal so you can get back in the air."
Danny frowned. "I know that."
"That's not what's really bothering you though, is it?" Hank asked him. "You look like a guy with something on his mind and I'll bet that it has to do with Ann."
How in the hell did he know that?
"You probably don't realize it, but you're pushing her away. She's been here every day, whether you've been conscious or not to see how you're doing. When you have been conscious you've been too distant with her and she doesn't know why." Hank told him. "What aren't you telling her?"
"What makes you think I'm keeping anything from her?" Danny hedged, knowing of course that Hank was right. "And since when has she talked to you about us?"
"Since you got your ass shot down a few weeks ago, that's when. So what aren't you telling her?" He persisted. "Dan, you're going to end up telling one of us and if it can't be her then it's going to have to be me."
"You're making a federal case out of this and it isn't that serious." He tried to hold his friend off.
"She thinks it is because you don't seem happy to see her. And if she thinks it's serious, so do I." He was beginning to sound irritated and whether Ann liked it or not, she'd been adopted by Hank as a little sister. And that meant he was going to be overprotective of her, especially with Danny.
"I had a dream about her, about us." Danny corrected himself and sighed before he finally spilled the beans. "I had a dream that I shouldn't have and it's made things awkward for me, to say the least."
"We don't have control over our dreams, you know that. And it seems to me that whatever it was really shook you up." He sat down in the chair next to Danny's bed. "Usually what we dream about are our greatest hopes or our greatest fears because we can't face them in the light of day. So was it a hope or a fear?"
"Both I guess." He wasn't trying to stall this time, but he just didn't know how to describe it.
"Just tell me what the dream was." Hank seemed to sense his hesitation. "How did it start? Where were you and were you by yourself?"
It was Hank's bachelor party.
"I was in my old room at my parent's house." Danny started and then he smiled. "I had to sleep in my old room because your parent's came to Pearl for your wedding and they were staying in my quarters."
"My wedding? To who?" His ears began to turn red and Danny wondered if he might know who the mystery bride was.
"I don't know. I just remember the rest of the guys in our squadron and I took you out for a few drinks the night before you got married and I couldn't go back to my quarters because your folks were there."
Hank grinned. "Thanks Dan, I'm sure they appreciated that."
"They thought I was a peach." He laughed and then winced as he leg throbbed from the sudden movement. "Damn, I have to remember not to do that."
"So I was getting married." He prompted. "Is that what you can't tell Ann?"
"Don't be a smart-ass, of course that isn't it." He paused and tried to be as succinct as possible. "I went back to my parent's house to sleep there and I remember that I didn't turn on a light because I could see well enough to get around the room and find the bed."
Hank seemed to understand where Danny was going and nodded. "Let me take a wild guess and say that you weren't alone."
"At first I was but then she seemed to appear out of nowhere."
"Should I ask where she appeared?"
"In my bed."
"Was she naked?" He grinned.
"Hey!" Danny could feel the inevitable flush start up his neck.
"Were you?" And then he laughed.
"This isn't funny!" Danny protested his friend's amusement at his expense. "This is serious!"
"I know it is." Hank nodded again and with some effort grew serious. "I don't suppose I need to ask if you made love?"
"That's why I'm having such a hard time looking at her." Danny admitted with a nod of his own and felt his own ears warm with a flush. "It's the one thing we can't do even though we came too close before I flew out and yet I dreamt about it anyway."
"Dan, that's exactly why you did. You and Ann made a promise to your parents, but it doesn't mean that it's been easy. This way, you got an idea of what it could be like when it happens."
"It was too damn real. Of course it didn't help that when I woke up she was sleeping next to me." Danny told him and couldn't help but smile.
"You liked that, did you?" He grinned again. "How is it that her father let her stay?"
"From what the nurse told me I don't think Major Walker had much to say about it. Besides, I was unconscious with a broken leg. What could happen?"
"You've got a point there. So how did it feel having her so close to you after having that dream?"
"If I hadn't been so sedated and my leg shattered, I would have been hard pressed not to make that dream come true."
Hank laughed. "But if your leg hadn't been broken there is no way that her father would have let her stay there with you."
"You don't know Ann." Danny smiled back. "So I guess that's the one good thing about having a broken leg."
"Let's just keep a good thought that it continues to heal the way it's supposed to so I can get my wingman back." Hank sighed. "Taylor is a good pilot but he's not you."
"You're spoiled Henry because we roomed together for four years and learned to fly together. Have some patience with the guy will you? He's probably not too thrilled to be flying with you either." He grinned.
"Thanks, I needed that." Hank grinned back before he stood up. "I need to push off now. We're being briefed for another mission and I promised the commander I wouldn't be long."
"You're going out again?" Danny was envious, and scared. His career as a pilot was in doubt because of his leg and he wanted so much to be back in the air. "I guess the Air Force wasn't kidding when they activated us."
"They weren't kidding Dan, which is why you need to get that leg healed. We need you back in the squadron."
"I read you."
"Do you know what else you need to do? You need to tell Ann how much you love her." Hank added to his astonishment. "You haven't told me as much, but I saw the way you kissed her when we came back from our first mission and I saw the look in your eyes the first time you saw her when she came here to see you. You've been denying it for the longest time; to her or to yourself I don't know. But after what's happened she needs to know how you feel about her."
"What if she doesn't feel the same way?" Danny voiced his worry.
"I don't think that's something you need to worry about because I happen to think that she loves you too. She might just be waiting to hear it from you first." His look was serious. "This isn't any of my business but I'm going to ask anyway. Have you kissed her since you got back?"
He shook his head. "No."
"Then I think it's damn time you did. Hold her as close as you can, kiss her as though it's for the last time and tell her how you feel about her. She had a really hard time while you were missing and tried to put on a brave front so her family wouldn't worry. Now I understand that you've been sedated for most of the time that you've been home but when you were conscious you never took the opportunity. I'm telling you now, especially since you're off the sedation now to take it. She deserves it and so do you."
Hank was never one to make speeches and it must have been weighing on his mind for him to say something at that moment. "You really think I should tell her?"
"Hell yes, and the sooner the better! She needs to know that you still have feelings for her."
"Message received Lieutenant." Danny sighed. "Received and understood."
"Very good." And he opened the door. "I'll be back later to check in on you."
"You don't have to do that Hank."
Hank nodded. "I know. But Ann and your family weren't the only ones who were worried."
He was gone.
Hank was right; Danny did need to tell Ann how he felt because she had the right to know. But having never told a girl how he felt about her, he didn't know how to go about it. He did know that the time had to be right and done in the right way. It was something that he wanted her to remember with a smile.
"You're awake." Danny looked up and saw Ann at the door. The look on her face was guarded and knew that he was the cause.
"My doctor took me off the heavy sedation this morning. My leg is starting to heal the way he wants it to and it doesn't hurt as badly." He told her as she stayed by the door even as it closed.
"Does that mean that you'll be able to fly again?"
"It's too soon to tell about that Annie." He admitted to her. "It's only been a couple of weeks since the surgery and it's going to be at least a month before the doctor can tell me anything definitive."
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"I'd feel a lot better if you would come over here. Do you know how long it's been since I've kissed you?"
"Do you?" She answered his question with a question.
"It's been eleven weeks and three days." He stopped to make a quick mental calculation before he continued. "Make that three days, eighteen hours and ten minutes give or take thirty seconds. That's nearly three months and if you'll give me a chance, I'd like to make it up to you. I won't be able to kiss you the way I really want to, but it'll have to do until I get back on my feet."
"Why now?" She didn't move.
"Because I've missed you and I'm sorry that I haven't behaved as though I'm happy to see you because I am." He tried to coax her closer to his side and decided that he should tell her about his dream so that she would understand. "There is a reason that I've been putting you off and I want to tell you about it. But you're going to need to come a lot closer."
She wouldn't budge. "Give me one good reason why I should."
"I love you."
So much for the right time and the right way.
"You love me?" She looked absolutely stunned. He knew he'd caught her off guard with his declaration and wasn't prepared to hear it.
"Yes. And I'm hoping that you might feel something like that for me." Danny could feel his heart pounding double time because he'd taken the plunge, in a manner of speaking and he couldn't take it back. Not that he wanted to. "I'll prove it to you if you give me the chance."
"You love me." She repeated and Danny's heart began to sink.
She didn't feel the same way.
Ann walked toward him and didn't stop until she'd come to his bedside. "Then tell me why you've been pushing me away."
"Because we made love."
"No we didn't, you know that." He watched as her face turned red and looked at the floor.
He reached for her hand and took it in his. He willed her to look at him and when she didn't he plowed ahead anyway. "I had a dream that we did and that's why I was being such an idiot. I felt as though I'd broken my promise even though we didn't actually do it."
"Were you sorry, in the dream?" She looked up at him with some hesitance.
"I was never happier." He answered honestly and squeezed her hand.
"That's good to know because there's something that I need to tell you too." She smiled at him tentatively and to Danny's surprise sat down on the edge of the bed. "But before I say anything you have something to make up for."
He smiled. "You have to come closer if I'm going to do that."
"How close would you like me to be?" She laughed softly and he realized how much he'd missed hearing the sound of it.
"I'll let you know." He told her as she leaned toward him and stopped.
Ann was being a tease and it was a side of her he didn't know very well, but it was definitely a side he wanted to get to know better.
"That's not close enough Miss Ann, by a long shot." He laughed and wanted nothing more at that moment than to make his dream a reality.
She leaned in closer until her lips hovered just above his. "How's this?"
"Let me show you what I mean." His voice was low as he took her face in his hands and brought her lips to his. The softness of her skin against his sent a jolt through him from the memory of their time together before he flew out and as a consequence a jolt of pain through his leg.
She must have felt him tense and pulled away. "Are you all right?"
"Nothing that having you in my arms won't help." He assured her as the pain subsided and he drew her back to him and kissed her again.
There was no shock the second time, only warmth that slowly spread through his body as she kissed him back. He heard her shoes hit the tile floor as she stretched out next to him and his arms moved around her waist to hold her close. Her hands grasped his shoulders in a grip that was firm as she seemed to be reassuring herself that what was happening between them wasn't a dream and that he was really there.
She sighed and it sent goose pimples down his arms as she pulled away again, but not out of his arms. She was flushed and her eyes had a sparkle he'd never seen before. When she smiled at him he realized that the sparkle was from unshed tears. "I love you."
It was Danny's turn to be stunned.
"It took you getting shot down and not knowing if you were alive or not for me to finally admit it to myself." She said as she settled in his arms and put her head down on his shoulder.
"Did you ever think that I might not have made it?" He asked and tightened his hold on her as she snuggled closer to him.
Ann shook her head. "I was more afraid that you were a prisoner of war. It would have been more merciful if you hadn't survived the crash."
"I thought a lot about that after I crashed." Danny nodded in agreement. "I couldn't move around much because of my leg and my head hurt from the impact. And all I could think of was staying out of sight, hoping that I would end up in friendly hands."
"They couldn't have gotten friendlier than your dad's." She sighed again and the contentment he'd felt in his dream overcame him then and made him smile.
"I sure prefer yours."
As though to answer an unspoken request, she began to caress his arm.
"That's not exactly where I want your hands to be." He grinned.
"I know, but it's the best I can do for now because you're on your back." She understood what he meant. "You'll just have to take a rain check for the time when you're on your feet again."
"With an incentive like that, I'll take it."
They were both quiet then as Danny held Ann close to him as her hand moved to skim his chest that was covered by the starched hospital gown. It was an impediment to what he wanted her hand to be touching but he had to content himself with it being so close. She was with him and she loved him.
"Danny, what was it like?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "How did it feel?"
She was asking about his dream. "I don't know if I can explain it."
"Please try." She persisted. "I've thought about it, especially after you got shot down but never dreamed about it."
"What were you thinking?" He was curious because he had no idea how girls looked at these sorts of things. Sarah never talked about it with him, even with their close relationship.
"It's never been so much about what it would be like, but more about where it would be." She answered. "I know what happens because Mama made sure that all of us knew about the facts of life. So as far as that goes, I know what to expect."
"Where would you like it to be?" He wanted to know so that when the time came, he could make her wish come true.
"I thought about the King Kamehameha Suite at the Royal Hawaiian, where Dad and Mama spent their honeymoon." She revealed. "It always sounded so romantic and I couldn't think of a nicer place to finally be together. They never had to leave the hotel grounds because everything was there for them, the restaurant, the beach and a beautiful garden for them to walk through. It was a week of perfect seclusion for them to start getting to know each other without any outside interference."
"Mama was always a little envious that your parent's had a honeymoon and they didn't, but I think Dad's going to fix that."
She propped herself up on her elbow and Danny tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Their twenty-fifth anniversary is the year after next and he and Mama decided to renew their vows at the Hickam Chapel. What he hasn't told her is that he's booked the King Kamehameha Suite for a whole week so they can finally have the honeymoon they always wanted but never found the time for."
"Your father is a very romantic man to plan something like that for your mother." Ann commented as she lay her head back on his shoulder and continued to run her hand across his chest, making him damn his broken leg.
"It's easy to be romantic for the woman who has your heart." He smiled and kissed her cheek.
"And you still haven't told me what it was like."
There was no derailing that train of thought, was there?
"Do you remember the afternoon before I flew out and how close we came?" He felt a nod. "It was a lot like that, but it was better."
"How?"
"Because I got to show you how much I love you and you loved me in the same way." It was the best he could do to try and explain it. "You also kissed me in a way that you're usually too shy to do."
"The way you usually kiss me." Her voice was soft and she was beginning to tremble.
"The way I usually kiss you." He nodded. "It was a really nice dream and I'm hoping that one of these days it doesn't have to be a dream any more."
"It could always be a belated birthday present." Ann laughed.
"We already talked about that, remember?"
"I know. I just thought I'd mention it again." Danny heard the lightness in her voice and knew that she wasn't being completely serious.
He began to caress the small of her back and wished that it wasn't the feel of her dress under his hand. "Is this part of the healing process that I don't know about? You get me to do everything that my doctor tells me to do on the off chance that I'll actually let us go through with it?"
"You can't blame a girl for trying."
"You wouldn't be you Annie if you didn't." He smiled. "I sure wish that I'd been here for your birthday. But I promise that I'll make it up to you."
"I wish you'd been here too, but the important thing is that you're here now." Ann settled in his embrace and although he wasn't sedated anymore his eyes slowly closed and he fell into a peaceful sleep. The girl he had fallen in love with was in love with him too and the feel of her in his arms was even better than it had been in his dream because it was real.
As to what it would feel like to finally make love, they would find that out when the time was right.