Danny said his goodbyes after the rehearsal dinner and promised Hank he would be at the hotel bright and early the following morning. At the insistence of the mothers of the bride and groom, the photographer would get all the pictures he wanted of the bridal party and the parent's before the wedding. Pictures of the newlyweds, their best man and maid of honor would have to be taken after the ceremony.
Hank told him he didn't believe in the superstition of seeing Evelyn before the wedding being bad luck and neither did she, but since they both wanted their mothers to be happy on their wedding day, they were humored.
As he walked through the hotel toward the parking garage, he couldn't help but think about events earlier and knew he had not acquitted himself very well with his family. Dad had given him an earful about his behavior and his father was right.
Hank and Evelyn didn't deserve to be on the wrong end of his sour mood and he was sorry that he'd put a damper on the rehearsal. The fact was that at the moment, he couldn't seem to help himself. He understood that he had to complete his physical therapy and get his leg back into shape before he could fly combat again, he did. It was just taking a hell of a lot longer than he'd anticipated it would and his frustration at still being grounded had begun to take it's toll.
It also didn't help matters that Annie seemed to be avoiding him, but she probably didn't want to be on the business end of his mood either. The truth was he'd missed her.
She was stateside for such a long time and when she finally did come home, she was busy helping Evelyn put her wedding together. He resented the time he couldn't spend with her and the few moments they were they usually weren't alone. She still avoided being alone with him for long periods of time, the last being at Christmas when she'd help decorate his tree. But even that was short lived with the appearance of Hank and Evelyn. Ann made sure of that.
She didn't trust him; that's what it boiled down to. He'd taken advantage of her twice and because of that she had to think he was only after one thing. And to be perfectly honest she was right, to a certain extent.
It was the result of having too much down time on his hands and no flight training to keep his mind occupied that thoughts of making love to her became more frequent and believed that he was probably telegraphing that to her when ever they encountered each other.
He pulled out of the garage and headed back to Wheeler. He was staying with his parents that night as he'd given the keys to his quarters to Hank's parent's so they could spend the night before the wedding closer to him. He figured it was the least he could do.
He parked in front of the house and after he shut down the engine sat in the quiet of his car.
He'd always been so sure of himself and what he wanted from the time he was a kid. He laid his path in life out in front of him when he decided to be a pilot like his father and did what was necessary for that goal to become reality.
What he'd never planned on was a girlfriend and certainly not one like Caroline Harris. She'd been the polar opposite of him and if he'd not been away at school for four years, their relationship wouldn't have lasted as long as it did.
Annie on the other hand, was his complement.
Caroline had grown up in the military as he and Annie had and always resented it. They didn't know anything but the military either, but both thrived in the regimented environment. Caroline chaffed at it and couldn't wait to get away when the chance presented itself.
It didn't stop her, however from maneuvering him into situations that could have led to something he would regret, but he never cared for her so much that he would ever let her. With Ann, it seemed that he was the one maneuvering her into situations knowing that it would be difficult for her to resist him.
He continued to berate himself for allowing her into his quarters before he shipped out the first time. If he'd never known how it would feel to have her so close to him and know the feel of her soft skin against his, the thought of being even closer to her would not have materialized with such ferocity to continue to haunt his thoughts and his dreams.
He grabbed his duffle bag and got out of his car before proceeding up the front walk. He knew Mama made up his old room and after he'd walked into the house, Danny headed down the hall toward it. He always got the sense of stepping back in time whenever he opened the door because nothing ever changed and it was comforting in a way. But it conversely made him feel as though he were sixteen years old again.
After dropping the duffle just inside the bedroom door, Danny walked back up the hallway to the kitchen. He knew there would be a good chance he'd find a beer inside the refrigerator and as luck would have it, he did when he opened the door. Dad wouldn't mind if he had one, so after he pried the cap off with a nearby bottle opener he walked out to the back porch and settled on the sofa.
It was a beautiful evening, as most evenings on Oahu usually were and he watched the sky as it changed from dark blue to pink and then to orange. It looked as though the clouds were on fire; the colors were so brilliant. He'd never noticed things like that when he was flying because there wasn't any time. But it was on evenings like this, or when he was visiting his grandparents in Tennessee that it really caught his attention.
There was a gentle breeze blowing and the palm fronds rustled as the soft wind moved them. He could hear the faint sound of Hawaiian music and wondered if someone in the vicinity was having a barbeque or a luau. He put his beer down on the side table and stretched out on the sofa. It was the most relaxed he'd felt in a long time and he wanted to savor it.
He wasn't sure how long he slept before he became aware of someone else on the porch with him and when he opened his eyes, wasn't particularly surprised to see Ann leaning on the rail across from him. She looked like a woman with something on her mind and he figured that she wanted to get in a few choice words of her own about the rehearsal.
"It's been awhile since you've been back here." Danny commented as he sat up. "You've been avoiding me like the plague it seems."
"You behaved like a Class A jackass earlier." Her voice was calm. "Hank and Evelyn deserved better than to have a petulant child standing up for them at their rehearsal."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I've already heard it from Hank and my parent's; do I really need to hear this from you?"
"It seems to me that you do." The irritation was evident in her tone. "You've obviously got something on your mind that you won't talk to your parents or Hank or me about and that's fine. You don't have to tell us everything or anything for that matter. But when your sour mood puts a damper on what should have been the start of something memorable for Hank and Evelyn, you need to know that I didn't appreciate it.
"We've been working really hard for the last few weeks to make sure the wedding goes as planned and Evelyn's had to make decisions when Hank wasn't here. She's had to rely on you, which for some reason took exception to and decided to take it out on her tonight."
Danny stood up and approached her. "That's not fair! I didn't set out to be such a jerk tonight and yes, I know I was. And I sure as hell didn't need Hank or my parent's or you to tell me that. You have no idea what I'm going through right now because you haven't bothered to ask.
"You were gone longer than I would have liked and when you finally did come home, I didn't get to see a lot of you because of this damn wedding! I've really missed you and you don't seem to have missed me at all."
His words seemed to surprise her and mentally kicked himself when he saw her eyes fill with tears. "Now you're not being fair. I've missed you more than you know, especially since I've been home because as much as I've wanted to see you my first obligation has been to Evelyn. It wouldn't be right or fair of me to let her try and handle this whole thing on her own. There's just too much for one person to do alone and if you'd been a little more cooperative with her, you might have realized that."
Danny backed away from Ann and sat back down on the sofa. "It must be nice to be so sure of what you want and just do it. It's been five months since they were together and they're getting married tomorrow."
"At one time you were sure about what you wanted Danny." She sighed as sat down next to him and took his hand.
"I still am, but there's a little matter of my having been shot down." He pulled his hand out of her grasp. "Or have you forgotten that?"
"How can I when you won't let me forget it? You're leg is healed and you're getting your strength back. It's just a matter of time before your doctor releases you to fly again."
"And just when the hell is that going to be?" He stood up again and walked to the rail before he turned and faced her. "What the hell else do I have to do before I can get back in a damn plane?"
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe he won't release you because he doesn't feel you're mentally ready?" She replied quietly. "You went through an ordeal that I'll never understand, but he might more than you realize."
"So you think I've lost my marbles." He shot back.
"Oh honestly Danny, I didn't say any such thing." He could hear the exasperation in her voice as she stood up. "And it seems pointless to try and talk to you any more because all you seem to want to do is argue."
"I don't want to argue." He replied as he grabbed her wrists to pull her to him and a look of panic crossed her face just before he leaned in and kissed her.
It wasn't that she didn't want him to kiss her, but just not like this. He wasn't kissing her because he wanted to show how much he cared for her; he was kissing her to shut her up. Ann hit a nerve, of that she had no doubt and he was reacting as someone who didn't want to remotely consider the possibility that being shot down affected him more than he would ever admit.
Even knowing that, she wanted nothing more than to put her arms around his neck and kiss him back but she'd be responding for different reasons. He hadn't even bothered to put his arms around her so she pushed him away and stepped back.
She felt the warmth of a flush on her face and he mistook it because he stepped toward her again. "No Danny, not like this."
"Like what? I love you and you love me." He looked confused. "I just want to show you how much."
"If I believed that's all it was, I would have kissed you back. But you're trying to stop a conversation you don't want to have by distracting me and it won't work." She stood her ground.
"Then maybe I'm not trying hard enough." He answered as she found her self pinned between him and the wall. He got his arms around her and as he pulled her against him it didn't take her long to realize where his thoughts were headed because his body revealed it in spades.
She'd left her hands on his shoulders because they had no where else to go that wouldn't encourage him but once she felt what his body had in mind she shoved him away and slapped him with all the force she could muster.
Her entire body was shaking as her knees went wobbly, but she willed herself to stand where she was. "You tell me that you love me but you're behavior tells me something different. I made it clear as crystal that I didn't want you to do that and you went ahead and did it anyway. I know that part of this is my fault because I let you take liberties in the beginning that I shouldn't have. I also took liberties with you that I knew I shouldn't but I wanted to be close to you.
"I do love you Danny, but it seems that our whole relationship has been based on how far we'll allow the other to go before we put a stop to it. We've never been together when it hasn't ended up withus in a situation where we end up frustrated and I don't know how to fix it."
What came next absolutely floored her.
"You can fix it by marrying me. If you did we wouldn't be frustrated anymore because we could actually make love." He sounded so reasonable as he put a hand in his front pocket and pulled something out. He held it up and it took her a moment not only to realize that he'd just proposed, but that he was presenting her with a ring.
"How is this supposed to fix anything?" Ann knew she should have felt something other than deep disappointment at a proposal from the man she loved, but could not. "If I were to accept your proposal and your ring, how could I ever be sure that it wasn't because you only wanted me in your bed? How could I ever believe that it was because you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me?"
"Ann." He looked absolutely deflated and guessed that she wasn't far from wrong.
"At least tell me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me, eventually." She pressed.
"You want to spend the rest of your life with a gimpy pilot?" He asked her with a frown and backed away as he shoved the ring back in his pocket and her heart sank.
"Don't answer my question with another question Daniel McCawley."
"I just tried to give you a ring, what do you think?" His tone was defensive and she suddenly got the sickening feeling they'd come to the end of the road.
"I think that you tried to give it to me for all the wrong reasons." She told him. "After what just happened, you try to smooth it over with a ring and a declaration that should have been a proposal."
"I can't think about a lifetime right now, not until I get back in the air." He finally admitted. "I thought if I gave you the ring now, you'd wait for me."
Ann started to cry and didn't bother to hide it from him. "I would have waited without a ring and you should never have doubted that. All you've done is reinforce something that I didn't want to consider; that as much as you love me you want me even more. It may not have started out that way, but it's ended up that way. And if our relationship has come to that, then it's not much of a relationship is it?"
"So what are you saying?" He seemed to sense what she'd already discovered and waited for her to say it.
"I'm saying that you need to concentrate on getting your life back on track and getting back in the air. I've been a distraction and I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for your not flying yet. The only solution I can think of to remedy this is to let you go." It gutted her to say that, but she knew it was the best course for the both of them.
Besides, she needed to go back to college and continue her education. She'd promised her parents that she'd only be out of school for the term so once the wedding was over, she needed to make her plans for the new school year.
"It's not about sex." He said weakly.
"I wish I could believe you, but after what happened here I can't." She sighed and walked to the door.
"What can I do to prove you wrong?"
"Love me enough to let me go."
"What if I don't want to?"
She looked him in the eye. "Then you don't love me like I thought you did."
Ann walked into the McCawley's house and left Danny on the porch. It wasn't something she'd remotely contemplated when she'd come to scold him, but he'd left her no choice. She wasn't going to give herself to him when she wasn't sure anymore that it's all he wanted in the first place.
She pushed on the front screen door and headed down the walk with the intention of going home, but she suddenly wanted to be near the water. As she stepped off the walk she heard her father call her and when she kept walking he yelled; something he rarely did.
"I asked you why you were at the McCawley's, young lady." He fumed.
Ann stopped for just a moment to face her irritated father. "I just broke up with Danny." She answered him and before he could say anything she turned back around and took off at a run, leaving her family behind.
She'd have to explain it all when she got back to the house, but not now.