It was a bad night for a case of insomnia but Ann found herself unable to sleep.

So much happened in such a short period of time and she couldn't sort it all out, except for one thing. She'd broken up with Danny and in the morning, she would have to stand with him as Hank and Evelyn made their vows to each other.

If there were any way she could get out of the wedding she would do it in a heartbeat, but it wouldn't be fair to her friends that she bail out on them because her love life had gone south.

What she still couldn't figure out was how she could have misjudged him so badly. Or had the trauma of being shot down changed him so much that he would never be the man he once was? She'd never really know because he never talked to her about what happened. He seemed to be content to come to her for some affection, but when it came to including her in his world of flying he seemed content to shut her out.

Maybe it was that he wanted to protect her, but she was the daughter of a veteran combat pilot. And while Dad might not have given Mama details about a mission, he never shut her out.

Ann finally gave up trying to rest and got out of bed.

After cinching the belt of the robe around her waist, she walked down the hall to the kitchen. She decided to make herself some hot cocoa in the hopes that it would relax her enough so that she would be able to get some sleep. It was going to be a long day and she wanted to be at her best to help Evelyn.

As quietly as she could, Ann found a small pot and put it on the stove. She pulled a mug out of the cabinet and got the milk out of the refrigerator. She filled the mug and poured the milk into the pot and turned on the heat.

After putting the milk away, she found the cocoa in another cabinet and spooned some into the mug. She sat down at the kitchen table and while she waited for the milk to heat the enormity of what happened after the rehearsal hit her like a broadside. Her eyes began to sting as she felt the force of tears build behind her eyes and it seemed the harder she tried to stop them from coming, they seemed more determined overwhelm her.

When they did, all she could do was ride the wave of grief she'd kept tightly bottled up after she'd come back from the beach. Ann had done the right thing, she had no doubt about it but it didn't mean that she didn't love him anymore and that was the part that hurt.

Ann wasn't aware her mother was there until she felt the gentle touch of Mama's hand brush the hair out of her eyes. "It's all right honey. Dad and I are here."

"You two go back to bed now." She heard the firm voice of her father. "Annie doesn't need an audience and you've got a weddin' to go to tomorrow too, so scoot."

"Yes sir." Her sister sighed and Ann sensed more than anything that she and Tom had gone back to their rooms.

She was in her mother's arms, who continued to stroke her hair and felt Dad's hand on her shoulder. "Rafe told us what happened. But even he doesn't know exactly why because Danny wouldn't tell him."

"He proposed, if you could even call it that." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. "But it was for all the wrong reasons."

"I don't need to ask if you turned him down, then." Mama's voice was gentle.

Ann shook her head. "I couldn't accept, not like that."

"Like what honey?" Dad asked and she wondered how to explain it to her father without the outcome being his going over to the McCawley's and laying out his godson. And he'd do it, too if he thought Danny had tried to force anything.

"He's depressed and frustrated and seems to think that marrying me is the answer." She finally said and turned to face him. "And as much as I do love Danny, I'm not ready to get married and I don't believe he is either. He needs to get back in the air before he does anything else."

"Ev's afraid that his depression might be getting the better of him." Mama commented as she handed Ann a handkerchief. "He's always been a serious boy, but this is different."

"Rafe says you told Danny that you think he needs some help." Dad nodded in response to her and sounded as though he were choosing his words carefully as he looked back to Ann. "Is that what you think?"

She dabbed at her damp eyes and her nose. "What I told him was that the doctor might not be releasing him to fly because he feels that Danny isn't mentally ready. He never did tell me anything about what happened and I never expected to get a full report, but if I'd had some idea of what happened to him I might have been able to help him in some way."

"Annie, I don't know that anyone can help him right now." Her father conceded. "He's got a case of the glooms real bad and there ain't nothin' any of us can do. And with a new baby comin', Evelyn doesn't need to be dealin' with that."

"Dad, do you think he'll fly again?"

"He's been through a hell of an ordeal honey and it seems to me that it's past time he talks to someone about it. Someone who's been through it themselves and can understand what it is he's feelin'." Dad told her with a shrug of his shoulders. "That could be why the doctor won't release him."

"So why hasn't he just come out and told Danny that? It might give him the incentive to try." Ann asked.

"We don't know that the doctor didn't tell him that Annie." He reasoned. "All you know or his folks know is what Danny's told you. That might have been one of the conditions from the beginnin' and if he wasn't ready to talk about what happened, then he knew what the consequences were."

"Shouldn't that have been enough, then?" Ann was confused because all Danny talked about was getting back in the air.

"Honey, that's why he should talk to someone. If I understand what your dad is trying to say, Danny might be subconsciously delaying his being activated because he's afraid of being shot down again." Mama suggested. "It's a perfectly natural response in my mind, especially because he wasn't found right away. He was injured and alone and might very well have believed that he wasn't coming home alive."

"And you're probably one of the things that kept him goin'. " Dad added. "When Rafe was with the Eagle Squadron and got shot down, he told me that it was thinkin' about Evelyn that kept him alive and gave him the strength to survive. That's a powerful force on a man in trouble, when he can think of the woman he loves and those thoughts end up bringin' him home."

"But it doesn't seem to have helped him since he's been home." Ann sighed. "It felt sometimes that he was using his feelings for me as an excuse to not get better."

"I'm not sure I understand." Her mother's brow was furrowed with a slight frown.

"I'm not sure I can explain because it was more a feeling than anything else." She continued. "He always seemed to find excuses not to complete his exercises or go on a run with Hank because he wanted to be with me. He would never go into detail about his physical therapy and there were times that he didn't seem to be getting any better even though he said he was trying."

It was her father's turn to sigh. "It would explain why it's taken so long for him to recuperate. Not that you ain't a good reason honey." And he smiled at her. "But you understand what I'm sayin'."

"I understand. And it might explain why, even though he said he was unhappy only being able to fly the old P-40 that he didn't seem to be doing everything he could to get back into his own plane."

"Danny, do you suppose Rafe could talk to him?" Mama asked. "He has been through something like this, twice."

Dad shook his head and to Ann it seems a little reluctant. "I don't know that he would, honey. It's true that he and Danny share that fate, but Rafe wasn't missin' for weeks and havin' to survive on his wits. He was damn lucky to have been found within hours of his plane goin' down in England and I was with him the second time and could report it.

"No, as much as Rafe knows how it feels to be shot down and survive, even he can't know what it is that Danny had to go through. That's why I think that he needs to talk to someone who's been through a similar experience who can help him get his nerve and his confidence back."

"Do you think he can?" Her mother wondered.

"Danny's the only one who can answer that Sandra." He told her.

"That's one of the reasons I had to break things off with him." Ann said to her parents. "He needs to concentrate on getting back to what he was trained to do and a girlfriend at this point is only a distraction."

"That's why you've been lookin' at transferrin' to Ohio State University, isn't it?" Dad asked. "You haven't said as much, but Mama and I noticed the envelopes that have been comin' for you and we figured that you might be goin' stateside to finish school."

"I've been giving this a lot of thought and I talked to Granddad and Gram about it the last time I called them. They said if I decided to do it, then I could live with them if I wanted to so you and Mama wouldn't have to worry about paying for a room in a dormitory. I'd also be a lot closer to the McCawley's and I'd be able to see them too."

"Have you made a final decision?" Her mother asked as she tucked a loose lock of hair behind Ann's ear.

"The final decision is in the hands of O S U, but my counselor at Hawaii thinks I have a good chance. My first term grades aren't going to help me much, but she seems to think that they'll give greater weight to my grades from Pearl High. I never had less than a B average and my extra-curricular activities are going to help me a lot, too." She informed them.

"I haven't been trying to keep any of this from you because even if I'd been accepted I wasn't sure that I was going to go." Ann continued. "I didn't want to be that far away from you or from Danny, but I'm beginning to think that it's just the thing for me to do now. I've never lived anywhere else but here and didn't particularly want to, but Danny did for four years and Sarah is doing it now. So maybe it's my turn to experience something new and get the chance to spend time with my grandparents."

The kitchen was quiet for a long moment before Mama spoke up. "I think if this is something that you've put some good thought into and weighed all your options, then you should go."

"It goes without sayin' that Mama, Shelby, Tom and I will sure miss you but this sounds like a real good opportunity. Even if it takes you a few thousand miles away."

"Dad."

"Danny." Ann and her mother admonished him simultaneously. "That's quite enough of that."

He grinned at them and then he laughed. "I'm just teasin' the girl Sandra. Annie knows that I support whatever decision she makes and I'll back her up the whole way. Even if it takes her a few thousand miles away."

They laughed together at Dad's joke and Ann felt better than she had in a long time. A weight that settled on her chest after Danny was shot down never seemed to lift, even after he got home and for the first time in months the weight was gone and she knew what she was about to do was the right thing.

What it meant for she and Danny, Ann had no clue. But what she also knew was that she needed to concentrate on school again and Danny needed to concentrate on flying and nothing else, especially not her.

"You look much better than you did when we came in here." Mama kissed her cheek. "You look as though the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders."

"It feels that way Mama and it feels nice." She admitted.

"Will you get through the weddin' all right?" Her father looked concerned.

"I'll be fine Dad, I just hope Danny will. The way he was going earlier this evening, he might have a bad hangover in the morning."

He shook his head. "I sure hope that boy has more consideration for Hank and Evelyn than gettin' tanked up the night before their weddin'. That would be the icin' on the cake of this whole thing, wouldn't it?"

Mama put her arm around Ann's shoulders. "I don't think he'll do something as thoughtless as that Danny. He may be feeling pretty low right now, but I'm sure he'll remember how important tomorrow is to his best friend and his fiancee and act accordingly."

"I hope you're right honey." He ran a hand through his hair and tried to stifle a yawn as he stood up. "And speakin' of weddin's, we've all got to be at one tomorrow and it's gettin' later by the second. So why don't we wrap this whole thing up and get another cup of cocoa for Annie so she can get back to bed."

"I'll do that for her Danny so why don't you go ahead; I won't be long."

"All right." She saw a look in his eyes as he smiled at her mother and Ann tried not to smile herself. "Good night honey. Try to get some sleep now." Dad leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you in the mornin'."

"Good night Dad. Thanks for listening." She smiled at him.

"That's what a daddy's for Annie." And he walked out of the kitchen, leaving Ann and her mother alone.

"Dad sure loves you." She watched him as he walked down the hallway.

"And I love him too, more every year we're married." Her mother answered as she stood up. "When you find the right man and wait for the right time to get married, the rest just seems to fall into place."

"Do you think Danny is still the right man?"

"I never told you that he was, honey." Her mother said. "You're still so young and he's the only serious relationship you've ever had. He may end up being the right man but if you do decide to go back to Ohio for school and meet someone, with Danny out of the picture you won't have the worry of knowing there's someone back home that might stop you from caring for that person."

"I can't imagine caring for any one as much as I do Danny." Ann admitted with a sigh.

"Each love is different Ann because each experience is different. That's why I'm so proud of you and your decision to consider living somewhere else for a little while." She smiled as she turned the heat back on under the pot. "If you see this through you'll get to meet new people and experience new things, things that you couldn't have if you were to stay here."

It was an odd idea, leaving Oahu. But Ann knew now that if she didn't she would never really know if Danny was truly the man for her, or possibly not meeting someone that she was meant to be with instead. What it all boiled down to was that their lives had begun to take different paths and neither could see it coming, or perhaps they didn't want to.

Danny needed to become a pilot again and she needed to go back to school. Neither could do what they needed to do if she stayed and she knew that now.

Ann Walker was leaving Hawaii.