OPERATION: Save the Halfa!
By Strix Moonwing
Strix: Hi guys! Me and gang back again with the third chapter of this perverted, crazy comedy fic!
Sam: No truer words were ever spoken.
Danny:(crying) I can't believe it….I WAS GOING TO HAVE A MOTORCYCLE! WHY BUTCH HARTMAN! WHY!
Tucker:(pats Danny) Don't worry…maybe later we can go steal Johnny's motorcycle.
Strix: Before we start the chapter I want to thank everyone for all the reviews! Thank you! There of some that I need to answer…
The Gypsy Queen: Glad you like it!
Epona Harper: Sorry about the errors. Glad you like the narrator…I was trying to base him off Steve Irwin. That's my plotbunny!(grabs plot bunny)
MarinJayde: Really? Thanks! That's one of the best compliments that I've ever had before!
Iaveina: Hehehe…it's fun being mean to Skulker. I loved doing the Halfa's reactions…it was one of my favorite parts of the story.
KittyKiChi: Yes that was true! I love the movie and Danni too! I loved making up the reasons! Amen sister! Peace!
Wavemaker: Thanks! I loved that part too.
Hamster Fan: LOL! Short but sweet…
SabreJustice: Trust me….the rest of the chapters are all going to be nuts! I have ideas…so many ideas! Muewhwhaahhah! Oh, may you tell me what a Jimbo stick is?
Silvermoonphantom: So you have wished it so shall it be….(monster truck eats your school) Oops…wrong wish!(updates story) Wish granted!
Shadow the hedgehog: I know that he is a hybrid, but this is a comedy story and I thought that the word Halfa was funnier to use.
Blindyourears: You gotta love the irony.
DragonSword35d: Yes, I love torturing Skulker, but mainly because he is my favorite villain. Sorry if you think it's annoying. I have a lot planned for those chapters with him finding a mate. Beware Danny…beware.
Sirithiliel: bows Thank you! Thank you! You've been a wonderful reviewer! If only Butch Hartman could use this idea…a girl can dream can't she?
Chapter 3: Cheerios, Fruitloops, and Coco-Puffs
As Skulker found out in the last half hour, life is full of irony…lots and lots of irony. About a half hour ago Skulker was merrily on his way to fulfill his life long dream of destroying Danny Phantom and having that Halfa's pelt by his bedside. Then suddenly the cruel hand of irony hits him full in the face so now instead of destroying Danny Phantom he will have to….save him! Oh the horror! Oh the irony of it all!
Since the group known as P.E.G practically abandoned him, Skulker decided that based on the video, he would only have to do five things to help save Danny from going extinct. One, get him some better food; two, clean up his habitat; three, destroy the dominate species; four, smarten him up; and five, find him a girlfriend.
Skulker decided to start with the first one….finding him better food. Unfortunately, Skulker knew nothing about the eating habits of a normal Halfa teen. Based on his research it consists of a lot of sugar…and fudge. Lots and lots fudge. Wait…never mind, that was the eating habits of Jack Fenton.
Anyway, since Skulker was clueless, he decided to seek the help of a professional. (scene shows Skulker talking to Jazz who is dressed like a therapist.) No! Not that kind of help! Help on teen feeding habits! And we all now that there is only one professional who is brave and daring enough to take on a job like this…the Lunch Lady!
Location: Giant Lunch Room in Ghost Zone
"Let me get this straight…you want me to help you help save the ghost boy that I despise and hate with all the meat in my body…cookie?" asked the Lunch Lady, holding out a tray of chocolate chip cookies toward Skulker.
"No…uh…I mean…yes mam." Said Skulker, grabbing a cookie.
The Lunch Lady frowned, "And why actually would I do that?"
Skulker glared. He knew that she would be going to ask this question. Jeez, why did the Ghost boy have to have so many enemies? "Because if I don't save him then I won't be able to hunt him and if I don't get to hunt him then you can't be able to hurt him either! That's why!"
The Lunch Lady's eyes went wide with shock. "You mean that I won't be able to torture him and his friends with meat anymore?"
Skulker narrowed his eyes and smiled cunningly. "You will if you help me help him so you can help me destroy him after we're done helping him."
The Lunch Lady held out her hand. "It's a deal! PREPARE TO FEAST ON MY FURY DANNY PHANTOM….er…I mean…PREPARE TO SURVIVE ON MY FURY DANNY PHANTOM! MUEWAHAHA! Wow…this is ironic uh?"
Skulker took it and they shook on it. After they were done Skulker asked, "Okay, now that you're helping me, tell me what's the natural diet of an average, healthy teen Halfa."
The Lunch Lady let out a laugh and said, "Oh that's easy!" She takes out a huge chart and gets one out one of those pointy sticks. She pointed to a picture of the food pyramid. "Usually one must follow to the rules of the food pyramid in order to have a healthy diet." She said in a gentle motherly tone. Suddenly her eyes glowed red and she let out a growl and bent the stick in half. "BUT THE PYRAMID LIES! IT LIES I TELL YOU! IT SAYS THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE ONLY TWO TO THREE SERVINGS OF MEAT A DAY! IT SAYS TO EAT MORE VEGIES! IT'S ALL A LIE! DON'T BELIEVE IT! THEY CHANGE IT ALMOST EVERY YEAR! IT'S MADE UP OF LIES AND MYTHS! Cake?" She asked, holding out a piece of cake for Skulker.
Skulker, who was shaking with fear at the Lunch Lady's outburst, fearfully shook his head. "N-N-No, t-t-thank you."
The Lunch Lady shrugged her shoulders and continued. "Ahem….as I was saying. But I don't think that the food pyramid is that accurate. Based on my studies, I have found that the healthiest thing a teenage can eat is meat. Lots and lots of meat!"
Skulker blinked and then narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "So…you're saying that to make Danny get a healthy diet he must eat nothing but meat?"
"Lots and lots of meat! I eat it all the time and look how healthy I am!" Cried the Lunch Lady, spreading her arms out.
Skulker stared at her a second and then muttered, "Well…the ghost boy is defiantly going to be easier to catch after this."
"What was that?" she growled, glaring at him.
"Uh…nothing! So…what's the plan?"
Location: Fenton Works, Amity Park
"Danny! Get down here before Dad eats your breakfast!" screamed the red-headed, sixteen-year old Jasmine or Jazz. The only reply she got was the sounds of punching and stuff breaking from inside Danny's room
Jazz and Danny's mother, Maddie, stared up at the stairs and said, "I wonder what's keeping Danny. This is the third time this week that he was late for breakfast. I'd better go check on him." She made a move to head up the stairs, but Jazz quickly ran in front of her.
"DON'T GO UP THERE!" She shouted. When her mother looked at her strangely, she quickly added, in a calmer tone, "Uhh…I mean…please. Danny needs his privacy. As a maturing teenager heading toward the road to adulthood, he needs to learn his way to independence." The sound of an explosion was heard. Both Jazz and Maddie glanced upstairs. Jazz then looked at her mother and pushed her back into the kitchen. "And as his parents and his older sister it is our duty to watch him work his way on this solitary…alone…quest at a safe distance. Hopefully, a distance where we can't hear or see him!"
Maddie still wasn't convinced. "I don't know…..the road to independence isn't usually taken until college."
Jazz was suddenly stuck with an idea. "Uh, did I mention that I think Danny has a girlfriend?"
Suddenly Jack entered the room. "He does? HUZZAH! One down and one more to go!" He said looking at Jazz, who was glaring at him. Jack frowned, "Strange, I always thought Jazz would be the first. Oh well!"
Jack's moment of celebration was interrupted by a very tired looking Danny walking in. He looked at his celebrating father, his mother who had a look of joy on her face, and at his sister, who was glancing nervously between him and his parents.
"Uhh…did I miss something?" he asked, before being pulled into a back crushing hug with his mother.
"Oh Danny! I'm so happy for you!" she cried, hugging him tighter.
"Mom….can't….breath…too…much…love." gasped Danny, his face turning blue from the lack of oxygen.
When Maddie let go of him, Jack pulled him aside and said, with a huge smile on his face. "So Danny, who's the lucky girl…and your future ghost hunting partner? It's that Manson girl isn't it? Great choice!"
"WHAT?" cried Danny, trying to figure out what the heck was going on.
Maddie smiled and pulled Jack from him. "Aaaaaa….Jack we're embarrassing him! Come on and let's watch him take that road to independence from a safe distance."
As the two left the room Danny looked at Jazz with the what-the-heck-did-you-tell-them-while-I-was-fighting-ghosts-upstairs look.
Jazz shook her head. "You don't want to know."
Danny grabbed a carton of milk and some cereal. "I don't think I want to." He grabbed a bowl and prepared some breakfast for himself.
He poured some Cheerios into the bowl and poured some milk into it. When he was done, he picked up a spoon and started to eat, but as he took a bite out of his cereal, his eyes wide with shock and he spit it out at Jazz.
Jazz let out a shriek of disgust and surprise as Danny spit his cereal and milk all over her. "Danny! What was that for?" she cried, glaring at him.
Danny wiped a hand across him and mouth and gagged. "My cereal!"
"What about it?" asked Jazz.
"It tasted like meat!" gagged Danny.
Jazz blinked in surprise and took out a spoon and had a bite of the cereal. She chewed it for a second and frowned, "It taste just like Cheerios….have you been eating any Fruitloops lately?"
"No, why?"
"Because you're acting like a fruit loop."
Danny smirked and said, in a British accent, "In a world of Cheerios, I am a Fruit Loop."
Jazz raised an eyebrow and asked, "Wait…did you just insult yourself?"
Danny smiled. "No, if I'd insulted myself, I'd call myself a Coco-Puff which is what you are."
Jazz glared and yelled, "I am not a Coco-Puff…I'm a Trix!"
"Shut up you silly rabbit."
Strix: Hahahahha! I hoped you like the cereal part…me and StarK were calling eachother cereal names yesterday. The next chapter is going to be about Skulker's and the Lunch Lady's plan for Danny new…diet. Please review!