Title: Pleading Emotions, ok so, in intro chapter one, I wrote: 'Twisted Gravity' which is NOT the title to my story, but was the original name to my Intro chapter!
Author: AnimeXMusica
Category: Anime/Gravitation
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rated: T (PG-13) I don't know when this will change, but there is a slight chance it will. I just am afraid of my 'lemon writing skills'. They suck! YAY…hahaha…no seriously Walks Off
Pairing(s): Welllll, my main plan was to do a YukixShuichi since that is one of my favorite things to read, but certain recent fanfics I've read and a few reviewers' opinions have swayed my mind to think about RyuxShuu more, and that definitely shows in this chapter! Lol, so I hope people don't hate me for changing the main pairing like that! Since it's not like their was any ShuuxYuki fluff to begin with in my story! There will be lots of…fluffy angst I guess you could call it in this next chapter that your hopefully, about to read!
Warning! This is a yaoi fic, so if you are offended by guysxguys, then please leave. I really would like to avoid flaming for THAT reason. Please and Thank You!
Reader Notes: Intro Chapter One had more errors than I thought it had. Example: You're a lot of times was supposed to be 'you're'. Also, in the beginning when I wrote 'slumps downward' I had no idea that the star things I put would disappear! I guess I was just in role play mode, haha! Terrific… Well, since I still have no beta, let's pray for no big spelling errors, shall we? As you can all probably tell, this story is being written in Shuichi's perspective…most of the time shifty eyes!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. If I did, you would probably all want to throw rotten vegetables at me because… I'm a slacker and it would never have been finished it even though it's only 13 episode long! Has anyone else notices, a lot of yaoi is 13 episodes, Gravitation, LOVELESS, Sukisyo…hm, wonder why…Anyways! On with the next chapter!
Chapter Two: Pleading Emotions
I awoke to a bright light sparkling upon my eyes, and the feeling of a cold floor and warm hands loosely holding me around the waist. "Nnhg." Oh, that's right, I was with Ryuichi, we were kissing, and then, all of the sudden, I felt so tired. I guess all of the stress with Yuki and Touma got to me. Wait… Yuki… YUKI! Ugh, now I have that to deal with, don't I? "Shuu-chan? Are you ok? Mmm, you woke me up." "Sorry, Ryu…um." "It's fine, I'll go make something to eat for us, it's not quite 6:00 AM yet, but I think we both fell asleep quite early, so I guess that will be ok. Breakfast I mean." I felt myself turning red. I hadn't really intended on falling asleep, why didn't Ryuichi move me away, why did he stay with me on the floor of all places? "Shuu, you can't keep coming to me… When, this happens. You know I have feelings for you, that aren't just lust. I truly love you Shuu. So why tease me so much Shuu-chan?" Why Ryu...why. You're making this all so hard. I am so confused. I love Yuki, I can't love you. That's impossible, right?
"Shuu-chan! Food!" I looked up to see Ryuichi, donned with an apron and a kitty hat, holding a tray of strawberry muffins. I melted. "RYUUUUU!" I glomped him (for those who don't know what glomping is, it's like a hug, but more dramatic, with a running start and it's much more fun xD I found out what it was at Otakon, an anime con, very recently, I'm still sore LOL) "Strawberry! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Ryu…why did you stay on the floor with me all night long? You could have at least gone over and slept on the couch. I'm sorry." I looked down, but I felt slender fingers pulling my chin up. "Shuu-chan, now why would I leave you? You were definitely not in any state to find yourself alone in the morning, so please don't be sorry, alright?" He let go of my chin and turned around to grab a muffin. Breaking off a piece of the warm strawberry pastry, Ryu slid his finger inside my mouth. I was shocked and licked his finger clean of any stickiness, then I tilted my head. Why is this feeling so natural, why do I feel so comfortable with him?
"Shuichi, your all sparkly aren't you!" I blushed. He was being so sweet, even after I coldly brushed him away last night. I didn't say anything back to him, when he made the remark that he loved me. And that was a rather big thing. I already knew he liked me, but love? Is he for real? "Your spacing out Shuu!" He stuck another piece of the muffin in my mouth and slid his lower half closer to mine, draping one of his legs over my left hip, he put his hands on either side of me, he was now straddling me, inching his face closer, like he was about to kiss me. His breath was dancing softly onto my skin. "You didn't answer me last night. I know your confused right now. But, will you at least think about what I said. I don't need a reply right now, but...Shuu, I don't want to wait forever." Then his eyes flowed downwards towards the floor. He moved his leg back to his own space and started to get up. But I pulled onto the back of his shirt so he wouldn't walk away. "Ryu…right now, I don't know what to do." I shifted my eyes to the side. "I love Yuki but, Touma, he…I just am very confused right now. I don't know 'what' I feel! I just want...I just want" I broke down, there were now tears falling freely down my eyes, past my cheeks. I felt Ryu's presence envelop me into a warm place to just, fade away.
"I'm sorry Shuu-chan; I didn't mean to make things worse. Just, I don't want to have to see you this way. It hurts me. I'm sorry; maybe I'm just being selfish." I heard him sigh one last breath, then. His eyes returned to 'happy Ryu' form and a smile wrote its way across his girly face. "Anyways! There's no time for this now, you have to get over to NG to start recording your newest song!" He was putting on a fake smile and a cheerful voice that made me cringe. But, he wasn't the type of person to openly fall apart for a long period of time. He was happy. Usually. Just like me. Just like me huh? Maybe being with him wouldn't be such a bad thing. I do love Yuki, but if he is happier with Touma, as long as he isn't being hurt, I guess, I could learn to forget. I just, need some time. Yes, time. But, do I have that time? Or is that time, now? "Beep-Beep! Car is Moving Out Shuu-chan, let's go!" Ryuichi was already in his car, engine running. I guess I had been in a thinking trance for more than I had meant to be... I grabbed my orange sweat shirt, and tied it tightly around my waist, slammed the door and ran for the car with a wide smile showing itself on my face. It will be ok, in the end, I'm sure of it!
In the car it was awkwardly silent. Maybe both of us didn't know whether to be 'fake happy' or get down and dirty into the truth. Which one would be better right now? Of course, by the time I had just decided to be 'happy-Shuu' we were already at NG. I saw Ryu looking at me out of the corner of my eyes. "Hang in there Shuu, you can do it! I'm sure the song will be great! I can't wait to hear it! Do you want me to pick you up when you're done?" Pick me up? Heh, I wish Yuki would do things like that for me. Ryu is so nice. Is he too good for me? Wow, I'm already thinking of things like this, it's not like we are together, is it? "Hey Shuu?" "Gyah! Sorry, it's fine! I'll just walk back, it's not that far!" "You mean to my place or Mr. Yuki's?" I felt my face slightly fall. This was getting awkward. What to say? "I have an extra toothbrush and some spare clothes, we're about the same size, you don't have to see Yuki right now if you aren't up to it. Okay Shuu?" I just nodded my head and smiled as I closed the door and started walking around the building to where the door was, took a deep breath, then let myself in.
Ryu helped me more than I thought; he calmed me down and put me into a more peaceful state. I knew this because just as I had let my presence enter through the doors, there stood Touma, propped against the banister of the staircase. "Have a nice sleep? Shuu-chan?" "Don't call me that. Only Ryu can call me that." I glared at him, disgusted. "Oh, is that so? I thought only recently you had said that only Yuki could call you that. Is there something going on that I don't know about. Have you already given up Mr. Shindou?" He was smirking and I could feel the heat slowly rise to me cheeks. Truth was though, I didn't have an answer. No matter how much I wanted something to yell back at him, to make him hurt inside, just like me. I couldn't. Because, as twisted as it was, I was in-love with two people at the same time. Is that even possible? "Heh, well, do make up your mind now, won't you? Because if you are planning on backing out and getting away from Yuki, I would like to know, as soon as possible, you can't have two amazing lovers at the same time, It's just not fair. That's playing dirty." I tried to ignore him and began my way up the stairs, although, his words were echoing in my mind as though they were said through a microphone. They wouldn't go away.
I opened my mouth and let the words flow out of me like a paper crane soaring through the sky. Gliding and ever going.
"I'm breaking my own heart
by letting everyone
capture the ripples of my essence
The smile on your lips
Pushed the tears
To the back of my head"
I think of Touma, and how he made me feel like a nothing, a nobody. I saw the face he gave me when I first saw him with Yuki. That un-deniable smirk. That, 'I win, your too easy to break apart' kind of look in his eyes.
"As I lay my hands across you at night
Knowing your love
Is a façade
Only friendship
You give to me
Knowing that you love
Someone else
Hurts me so"
I think of Ryu, and how he probably thinks of me every time I have come to him to relieve myself of Yuki's sins and coldness. Feeling so hurt and so lucky at the same time, it must be such a painful emotion. I know it well.
"I run my nails
Over my skin at night
But it will never numb
The feelings I cannot bury"
I think of my emotions as of now. Is it Yuki that I want, his fingers in motion, dancing across the keyboard, the only sound the 'tap-tap' of the keys being pushed down, a story unfolding from inside his mind? Or do I want the goofy sincere laughter of Ryuichi to echo through my mind? His remarkable way to make me feel like a million dollar boy without even trying.
The song was no where near finished, but yet I felt myself slowly falling, my form hitting the ground, and a black view displayed out in front of me.
"Shuichi? Shuichi! SHUICHI!" I heard the voice of my best friend Hiro calling my name but I didn't have the strength to reply. I felt too numb to breathe. "Shuichi, please answer me? Shuichi!"
I awoke to the smell of black coffee and expensive rugs. This was the smell of…Yuki? But, why? Why would I be with Yuki? After everything that has happened… Not that I don't want to, I just don't understand what's going on. "So Mr. Shindou, your awake. This is the second time you have fainted like that, at least to my knowledge. Am I really troubling you so much you can't stay conscious long enough to record a song?" I grimaced and opened my eyes halfway.
"Why am I here? In Yuki's apartment?" I felt his hands run up my side which made me internally shiver. "I told the your friend Mr. Nakano at the hospital that I was to take you home. He was confused by I couldn't let him refuse my offer of taking you off his hands, seeing as, he had a date with his beloved, Ayaka was it? Whatever, that doesn't really matter to me." He paused, licked his lips and cleared his throat, then opened his mouth yet again to continue. "Shuichi, I think I need to make myself clear, since obviously, you do not understand me." I pushed myself upright so that I was now facing him. "And how do you propose to do such a thing?" I frowned, why bother asking. He'll tell me anyways. "Hmm, well I don't want you to keep going to Ryu, he hasn't been singing as well in our band, it's making us look bad, and it's your fault Shindou. I told you it was between me and you, not once did I involve Mr. Sakuma in this, so neither should you." Huh, I thought he was pissed about something to do with our weird love triangle, no, rectangle. Ugh, what is this now about Nittle Grasper? About Ryuichi? "Our fans are dropping, and I am not liking it. Ryuichi is not…in his words 'sparkly' it is creating some major problems for me."
He ran his tongue over his upper lip and lowered himself, hovering over my small frame. What the hell. Where is he going with this. "I think, it's not ok, your band is doing fine, in fact, this new song will probably give you even more fans. You have fans and…it isn't fair that you have two beautiful famous men that are your lovers and that you claim to be in love with!" What the fuck, where is this going? I don't like it. "I want you to disappear Mr. Shindou, I want you to feel pain, to not have the easy way out." He then laughed. What the- "Mr. Seguchi, what the hell?" I then felt him collapse onto my lap and my breath hitched. I felt another person's presence in the room.
I looked up only to see Yuki and Ryu looking in horror at me and at the floor below me. I shifted my eyes to see what they were looking at with such a terrified look. A knife. A blood stained floor, and an un-conscious Touma laying on MY lap. That dirty bastard. When did he have time to do this? All planned out as it? Damn it. Damn it! DAMN IT! About a minute passed by, then Ryu hurried out and Yuki's eyes turned into ice crystals. He slapped his hand across my cheek and told me to 'get the hell out'. I felt like a walking corpse. This was lower than low. I was definitely never going to have Yuki, not after this, not after that dirty bastard tricked me. I can't even imagine what Ryu was thinking of me then. Wait, Ryu! Oh no… wait, why was he with Yuki? Hn, I shouldn't even bother wondering such things when I know Touma's agenda, and it was obvious that he planned this, and just as he said that it wasn't fair that I had two beautiful famous men as my lovers, it wasn't fair for him to win both ways and take them both away.
Leaving me with nothing but an empty hole piercing into my heart. I decided. I had to find Ryuichi, he was going to listen to me, he was going to let me explain, if he loved me like he said he did, then he would listen, he would understand. Wouldn't he? I didn't even notice it, but I was already in an all out run towards his apartment.
I threw the un-locked door open only to see no one there. I looked around at the counter tops and found a ripped off discount ticket to the Shimada Club. (Haha, Shimada is the name of one of the gyms at my old school, I think it works ok. I couldn't think of anything better. LOL) So, he was planning to get drunk and slink about without even listening to me? Of course, after seeing a scene like that, he has an excuse, but still… That whole thing has gotten way out of hand! I grabbed a stick of gum and shoved it into my mouth, closed the door up and headed over to the Shimada.
It wasn't too far away from Ryu's apartment, just a lot of streets to cross. This meant a lot of cross walks to wait for. Annoying as hell. The two security guards at the door asked to see my pass. I silently cursed myself, I hadn't grabbed the other pass on the counter top, just the gum. Ugh, it sometimes pisses me off on how idiotic I can be. The guards were getting impatient, just as they were about to tell me off, I caught sight of Ryu. "Um, could you possibly just ask the man with the stuffed animal over there to come outside for a moment?" I got a raised eyebrow then a nod.
Moments later I saw a drunk version of Ryuichi walking towards me. "Heyyy, Shuu-chan, where have you been?" I am lucky he is a happy drunk, not a violent or depressed one, does this mean he doesn't remember what happened earlier? "Hi." I looked to the side. What should I say? It's not like he's going to remember anything I saw no matter in choosing my words carefully, no one would remember them by morning, so does it really matter? "Want to come inside with me?" One of the guards then turned and raised his eyebrow. But once he saw who was talking to me he turned himself back around then sighed. I am pretty sure I heard him mutter something smutty about celebrities. Whatever.
I linked my arm inside of Ryu's and let myself be taken away by the heavy base of the music and the flashing lights grazing the dance floor. Grinding his hips into mine Ryu was softly purring. The alcohol was getting to my head as well, I slowly felt myself let go. I pushed one of my hands slightly underneath Ryu's white ruffled shirt and stroked my hand back and forth across his lower stomach. He turned around so that we were now facing each other and he tilted his head and brought his lips down onto my neck, kissing down to my collarbone and sliding one of his hands underneath my waistband of my pants and pulling me so close that we molded together like legos. He was dancing me to the back of the room until I felt my back lightly tap the wall. I threw my arms around his shoulders and scooted my lower half up so that I was able to wrap my legs around his waist. His kissing was making it almost impossible to breathe and he tasted like vodka, dark chocolate and salt. Wha-salt?
I opened my eyes to see Ryu crying. He was now shaking violently and I let myself slide down from Ryu's waist. "Why…why were you with Touma, why were you doing that to him? I didn't think that someone like you would go so low after everything that has happened!" "That's right, you didn't think. I would never do such a thing. Touma set me up, wasn't it obvious?" I felt him tense. "Shuu-chan, I'm so sorry. Everything, is just too much, for everyone. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions, I'm so sorry." He was breaking down and half of it was just the alcohol getting the better of him. "Why don't we head home Ryu?" I glanced at my watch, it was 3:40 AM and I was tired as hell. "I don't really feel like sleeping on the floor again though…" I saw a flush appear onto Ryu's face and in an almost in-audible voice, the words- "You can stay with me, on my bed, I want you Shuichi-kun, and I'm not going to let you go, not tonight, tonight you are mine." Escape his lips.
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My little extra stuff: Bwa-ha-ha-ha! I'm evil ain't I? Yep. First of all, sorry that this isn't that long, I just knew that if I didn't end it where I did, it would be a while before I could get to another cliff-hanger, and it's already 4:20 AM and my writing tends to get more 'bleh' the later it gets into the night. Ok so, this is most definitely a RyuichixShuichi fic now. I don't think there will be any YukixShuichi, but who knows? I certainly don't! Haha xD Well, I was amazed to see that I got reviews let alone, 7! Yay! Haha, I'm sure that may not be a lot to some people, but to me, it inspired me to write more! I hope people don't stop reading because I randomly went and changed my main pairing idea! Now, to thank my reviewers!
beyond-the-grave-sango's-lover: You were my first reviewer! YAY! LOL, I hope you STILL really like my story since I changed my main pairing idea! Thanks for the review!
crzylver: I hope you liked this chapter, since I went and changed pairings. Sorry about that!
Yuki-Mizu: Thanks, I'm glad I made it enjoyable to read!
Patpat: Thanks for wishing me good luck. I hope you liked it!
Daisuke Captain Oblivious: I DID update soon didn't I? lol, I was truly overwhelmed by awesome feedback that I couldn't wait to write more! Thanks!
Steph: YAY! I JUST now realized it was you who reviewed, lol I'm an idiot, haha! Well, your in luck because this story was almost ALL about ShuichixRyuichi xD! YAY? Lol Hope everyone else is 'Yay' about it too! Haha. Thanks!
DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: I have granted your wish, RyuxShuu! Lol, hope you enjoyed chapter 2! Thanks very much for the review!