Awake
By Dragon's Daughter 1980
Rating: K
Spoiler: Post-'Brutus'
Pairing: Larry/Megan
Disclaimer: Other than being a devoted fan, I have nothing to do with Numb3rs or with Josh Groban. Thanks for the reviews!
So keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today
"Come on," she said, pulling playfully on his arm, "this will be fun." He made a small noise of reluctance — the incessant chatter of crowds tended to interfere with his thought processes — but he allowed her to lead him through the holly-decorated gate into the massive Winter Festival nevertheless. Normally, the summer fairgrounds would be deserted after the end of the summer tourist season, but come the day after Thanksgiving and the desolate property would transform itself into a mix of a sprawling holiday bazaar and vibrant winter celebration. People swarmed around them, chatting happily and carrying shopping bags. The energetic buzz of the holidays filled the air, a freshness of spirit that cheered up even the most exhausted of people for a little while.
The area was crammed with local vendors of every kind, all there to entice shoppers with their exotic wares and ordinary fare. Most of the people there were local artisans who made their living off of tourists, but displayed their best works for this fair. Everything from fragile glass figurines to watercolor paintings to carved linen chests were being sold and bought as holiday gifts. Other stalls sold hot drinks and food for the crowds to keep them warm in the cool weather. Larry saw one vendor selling homemade fruitcakes, which Megan joked "might be a federal crime." When she had made that comment, it was the first time he had seen her smile reach her eyes this week.
Larry didn't know much about the case she had been working on for the past month, but he knew it was one that haunted her. The few nights that she had spent in his arms had been ones of restless slumber, and he suspected that she was an expert in lying awake at night without his knowledge. Charles refused to talk about the particulars after he had been called to consult on the case and had bulked when Larry had offered to help. Instead, his longtime friend had shaken his head and told him, "Larry, I think Megan's going to need someone who's not going to ask questions."
So for the past month, he had not asked any questions about how her days had been because the answer was already clear. When she came to him, he simply greeted her at the doorway with a gentle kiss, guided her to the couch and told her to rest while he prepared dinner. Most times, she fell into an exhausted sleep, one that he was reluctant to wake her from to eat. Other times, she simply sat in silence, her mind clearly still embroiled in her work. When he felt that the silence was becoming oppressive to both of them, he began to talk about his work and the random events in the life of an academic at CalSci. However, he avoided all mention about his upcoming liftoff; he did not think it wise to remind her that he would be leaving her soon. Megan needed the belief that he would be at her side for the foreseeable future, and he did not wish to destroy that pillar of her sanity.
Today, when she had come home, he had expected her to continue their routine of a quiet dinner followed by brief idle chatter before collapsing into bed. Instead, she had stepped into their shared apartment and told him that they were going out. He had briefly contemplated refusing to let her go when she was in such an exhausted state, but then he had seen her eyes and he knew. She needed this impulsive night to help her forget, and she wanted him to be there to share it with her. He agreed, quickly setting aside the dinner preparations and donning his winter jacket for the cool weather. Just before they left the tenement, he saw her place her service weapon and badge away in the lockbox that sat in the drawer of the carved mahogany hallway table and lock it.
Now, they were here at the Winter Festival, browsing through the stalls while sipping hot chocolate, where she was just another ordinary person out with her beau on a beautiful, clear night. They discussed the merits of buying some of the antiques that they had found in several of the stalls, as well as whether oil or watercolors paintings fit her décor better. She hadn't brought much — just a few gifts for their friends and for her family, estranged as she was from them. He had also brought a few presents for the people in his life, but there was one that he had not formally purchased. Not yet, anyway.
Darkness had slowly fallen as they had browsed the festival. Strands of lights and portable electric old-fashioned lampposts lit up the shopping area, not to mention the other sources of illumination that the vendors themselves had brought. Megan smiled tiredly at him as they walked, her exhaustion winning out over her enthusiasm. He spotted an empty iron-wrought bench and quickly led her through the crowds to lay claim to it. She sat down with a quiet sigh of relief and put the few bags she was carrying onto the bench. He did the same before sitting down next to her, watching in silence the crowds that moved past them. She rested her body against his and he could just tell how tired she felt.
"Darling," he said quietly, placing a quick kiss in her hair, "I'm going to get us something to eat, all right?"
She nodded, closing her eyes, her fingers reluctantly slipping out of his hand. He stood slowly, biting his lip since he didn't truly want to leave her alone for even a second — she looked so vulnerable — but he needed to get some nourishment into her as well as to run a special, private errand of his own. He knew that she didn't need him there to protect her. With a quiet sigh, Larry wrenched himself away from her side and allowed the crowd to sweep him away from her sight.
First he retraced their steps to a glassmaker's stall, where a particular piece had caught his eye. Or perhaps, he should accurately say, pieces. The white tent that housed the glassmaker's display was plain, giving no hint to the manmade beauty within save for a sun-catcher that hung on a sturdy metal pole right beside the entrance. Inside, whimsical wind chimes, vibrant sun-catchers, even a few small delicate stained windows hung on the walls. Small figurines, vases, miniatures, and jewelry were in traveling display cases laid out on tables scattered tastefully in the sheltered area for maximum flow.
The elderly craftsman smiled benevolently when Larry stepped into the quiet tent; in a seemingly stroke of luck, the most recent customers had just vacated the area and the newest browsers had yet to arrive. It saved him from having to purchase this personal gift in front of an audience.
"You're the professor," said the seller with confidence, reaching underneath his makeshift counter. Larry nodded, pulling out his wallet, "Yes, um, do you take credit?"
"Yes," the man answered, lifting a tastefully carved wooden jewelry box from its hiding place. A classical flower motif of understated elegance twined itself at the edges and corners of the mahogany wood. Its lid was open and Larry could see his purchases carefully nestled in cotton within.
The miniature sun-catcher with a mare galloping through a meadow was beautiful even without the sunlight filtering through it; he hope that was inconspicuous enough that she could hang it on her cubicle wall at work. Next to it was a small round paperweight, its clear shape surrounding a frail glass flower bouquet made up of lilies, violets, roses and forget-me-nots, shielding it from potential breakage. While he was an amateur in fashion, he had also selected a pair of earrings and barrettes that he thought would please her. The earrings were strands of small crystals that sparked even in the artificial light. The barrettes were simplistic in style, but were decorated with a flower motif of intertwined lilies-of-the-valley and bleeding hearts, sparkling with white crystals embedded in the silver and pearl design.
"A gift for a lady friend?" the craftsman asked, displaying the wares for Larry's approval. He nodded, pleased with how well they looked outside of the display case. It had been quite a maneuver on his part to attract the seller's attention to each of the items without drawing Megan's notice. Fortunately, she had been engrossed with studying the paperweights before finally choosing one for her third oldest sister Caroline.
"Yes," he replied, sliding his credit card across the table.
"I'm sure she'll be delighted with them," the older man replied, ringing up the purchase and handing Larry back his card. "My daughters do good work. Would you like me to wrap it? Or would a plain box and bag do?"
"I would—" Larry began, and then changed his mind, "A plain box and bag." When he had first seen the items, his first thought was to give them to Megan as a Christmas present, to ask Charles or Amita to hold onto the gift for him until the twenty-fifth, but now he was sure that he wanted to give them to her soon, as a reminder of tonight. The other man nodded, pulling out a small cardboard box with a padded interior just the right side for a music box to fit snugly within. Larry's eyes widened when he realized that the craftsman intended to give him the carved box gratis. The seller smiled at the panicked look on Larry's face, "This is something that my son won't mind me giving to you."
"No, please, I—"
The man shook his head in a grandfatherly manner as he continued to package the carved box containing Larry's purchases, "I've sold a lot of trinkets and gifts to lovers and husbands in my lifetime, young man, and I can tell when a relationship is going to last." He nodded toward one of the display cases in the far corner. "The two of you caught my eye when you walked in. I saw you hovering by her side earlier, giving her support and space at the same time. She loves you, you know, I can tell by the way she looks at you. I bet she smiles more when she's around you, doesn't she?" Larry wondered if this man was simply wise or had nefarious intents; he didn't seem like a stalker, but this was venturing into the unreal. The other man smiled, as if reading his thoughts, "She does, doesn't she? The two of you probably don't fight as much as my Nathaniel and his Katrina do, but you do love each other. I know it. Think of this…think of it as an early wedding gift."
Larry's eyes went wide. 'Marriage?! We haven't even adjusted to living together! And even that's possibly temporary…'
The man laughed, pushing the now sealed package towards Larry, "You'll marry her, take an old man's word for it."
"Uh, I, um, thank you…" In pure shock, Larry picked up the package and walked out of the vendor's stall. Almost on autopilot, he walked toward one of the food tents, hoping to buy a few warm fluffy sweet sticky buns from a local Asian bakery that had temporarily set up shop. He shielded the box from being jostled by other shoppers, but beyond that, he paid very little attention to the crowds around him.
Larry could answer with absolute certainty that he liked Megan, and had liked her for some time. He knew that their relationship was evolving into an entity that was beyond structured complexity, and judging from his heart, it was a change that he did not fear. Much.
But did he love her? Truly, deeply love her? Enough to take the risk and ask her to change her name, to spend the rest of her life with him, to watch him grow old while she was still youthful? For some reason, he knew that Megan would answer most whole-heartedly in the affirmative to all of his questions. Early as they were in their relationship, he felt that she would say 'yes' if he ever proposed to her, and that she would wipe away all his fears of inadequacy with a simple look.
"Sir?" asked the baker's assistant over the counter. "What would you like?" Pulled abruptly out of his thoughts, he ordered a few of the pastries and buns in the glass display case in front of him. As he paid for the food and received another box in return, his mind returned to the issue at hand.
Well, it was a bit soon to be contemplating marriage, wasn't it? They were still getting to know each other and he was in no mood to rush things, simply because he was going on an extended absence for half a year. Yes, he cared deeply about her, but marriage was a question that would have to wait until he returned from the outer cosmos to be answered. Wondering about their potential future together, he wandered by the hot chocolate vendor again to buy drinks for them both before making his way back to the bench where he had left her.
The problem was, he seemed to have misplaced both bench and paramour. This was not good. Then, like a ship in the harbor spotting the lighthouse amidst the thick, brooding fog, he heard her voice calling out to him over the crowds.
"Larry? Is that food?" she asked, smiling slightly at him as he approached her. He nodded and handed her the box of warm baked goods, "I know it's not the most nourishing of dinners…"
"Oh!" she smiled happily when she saw the sticky buns, and then tugged him down to sit beside her. He complied, slipping the box into the closest bag at hand. Megan nodded up at the sky, "Look. Isn't it beautiful?"
He smiled up at the star-sprinkled sky, visible away from the stronger city lights, "Yes. They are."
"Can you teach me a few of them?" she asked, with a shy sideways glance at him. He nodded, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to his side. They both looked up at the night sky together, his free hand pointing out the constellations for her to see.
"Now, over there, is the Ursa Major and underneath it—"
"Is the Little Dipper—"
"In lay terms, yes, they would be the Big and Little Dipper. The Ursa Minor has the northern pole star contained within. If you look…right…there. That is Polaris."
"Constant north," she said wistfully.
"Actually, the commonly-known 'North Star' rotates among a set of stars. Polaris is the current one, but eventually it will rotate to Thuban and Vega—"
"Sounds exotic—"
"Ah, Thuban is within Draco, the dragon. It was the northern pole star in the BCEs, the most recent beings the 1900s."
"In the twentieth century?"
"Ah, no, I should have probably said 1900s BCE. Then it was replaced by Kochab which should be…roughly…here."
As the astronomy lesson continued, he felt her relax next to him, resting her head on his shoulder as he talked, her eyes avidly following his hand gesturing to the night sky. He himself felt fatigue began to creep upon his consciousness, but he fought it for a little while longer, just to see the starlight reflected in her eyes.