Mymagic here; adding yet another chapter to the story that I have abandoned for maybe half a year. Sorry to keep all of you waiting, but I have this chapter- hopefully a great one, but that is yet to be ascertained- to compensate. So… even with the great quantity of homework that you're all loaded with- and truly do sympathize with you- I hope you get to enjoy the chapter. So do the three "r"s: read, review, and… well, I guess that only makes two "r"s grins sheepishly. So do the 2 "r"s and have yourselves an AWESOME day!

Disclaimer: The following story is mine- Lurlene McDaniel wrote the books that inspired this story.

"It's me Leah… Ethan. Don't you remember me?" Ethan asked, his brow furrowed in sadness and frustration.

Leah laughed and said, "No, I never knew an Ethan,"

Leah turned to kiss a blonde haired- blue eyed man Ethan didn't recognize.

Jealousy, sadness, and total desolation overcame Ethan as he bent his head down and stared at his palms.

'She doesn't remember me?' Ethan thought, the idea echoing in his head and the anguish tearing at his heart.

And then…

"Ethan, I am hurt…" Leah looked up and tears spilled down onto her cheeks as she looked back into Ethan's face.

Ethan felt hot tears spill down his cheeks as he observed the scene around him. Leah hooked onto machines, helpless and completely reliant on the instruments to keep her body running.

She was weak, wasted, fragile, but beautiful…the cancer had returned just as their love was rejuvenated, but the cancer was stronger.

"I love you, Ethan…please don't leave me…" Leah whispered.

Ethan reached out to reassure his dying love, but her hand seemed so far away…the distance grew, and she was fading…

"Do you promise you won't leave me?" Leah's voice echoed…..

"Do you promise you won't leave me?"

Leah's voice continued to resound in Ethan's mind even after he woke, breathing in the cool, crisp air.

Ethan sat straight, looking around him, absorbing his surroundings, his brain registering the fact that he was in his room and not in the hospital, next to Leah.

Ethan slouched, recalling his dream, and quiet, yet painful sobs escaped his throat.

His Leah, the Leah that he loved so much is gone; he left her… and his incessant nightmares wounded his heart.

He loved her.

He loved her but he was to be baptized in a month's time.

He loved her but his emotions have been wrongly conveyed to Martha Dewberry.

He loved her but he could leave his family.

He loved her but he couldn't abandon his Amish life.

The many woes of his world came crashing down upon him, resembling the very burden that Sisyphus had to time and again carry up the hill.

What can he do to escape these nightmares, to escape the fear and dread that attacks his soul in his dreams?

Why was leaving Leah so hard?

Their worlds clashed, but their hearts were one. And, on top of it all, nobody would be able to help him sort out these feelings, both emotional and physical.

True happiness he found with Leah: the jokes he didn't understand, their interesting trip to the mall, the way she felt in his arms- whether it was during the coed sleepover or "bundling"…

The desire to see her and be with her tugged at his soul.

He couldn't stand it, he had to fulfill this desire- but how could he? His family has so many expectations to which he must live up to.

Where will destiny leave him standing?

"I just don't know what I'm going to do," Nathan said, despair coating every word, thought, and the tone with which he spoke.

"Nathan, I know you two could work this out," Jordan said, trying to sound reassuring, "She loves you, I know it. It's just that every relationship has that phase during which you feel like you're walking barefoot onto of sharp stones."

"But I can't understand what I did to upset her! She thinks I'm into someone else because instead of spending an hour or two more with her, I'm out with some other friends. And when I'm with her, she accuses me of looking at other girls."

"Are you looking at other girls?" asked Jordan.

"Whose side are you on? Hell no!" Nathan answered indignantly.

"Just asking, just asking..." Jordan replied - holding his hands up in defense.

"I just hope that everything can go back to the way it was before… she means so much to me…" Nathan's voice trailed off in sadness.

"I'm sure you guys will work it out." Jordan said.

"Better go, she's expecting me at 11:00" Nathan said, and immediately got up to go.

"Good luck," Jordan called out after him.

Exhausted after a very long ride to what he believed to be the university that Leah attended, Ethan felt like he was ready to collapse onto the floor. It was 6:00 in the morning.

After asking several students if they knew Leah and where her dorm was located, and after receiving several weird stares, Ethan managed to find the place.

He was shaking.

How will she react to me being here? he thought.

He reached out his hand to knock onto the door, but a tension and nervousness gripped his soul. It was also much too early, and Ethan knew that Leah couldn't possibly be awake.

I can't do this, he realized. She probably has moved on, and I should not disturb her. She should bask in the new happiness she has found, regardless of whether or not it is with another man.

This is not the right time, he decided. If it is G-d's will, He will bring me to her again.

It is decided, he thought as he took several steps backward. He turned his back to her door and started walking away.

"Goodbye, Leah," Ethan whispered, giving the place a final glance and tucking his hoped to meet her again into a distant pocket of his heart.

Sooooooo- please tell me what you think.

What should happen next? Give me your opinions…. some feedback please!

Next chapter will hopefully be on its way soon!

Love,

mymagic