When The Icicle Melts

Love… it is such a simple four letter word.

So why is it such a complicated subject?

Love is defined as a mutual feeling of care and affection that can only be held together by two individuals' trust. The emotion cannot endure without a firm belief in the honesty, reliability, and being able to forgive the mistakes of the other.

Many believe that love is just the longing to be with someone they feel strongly about. But love is more complex than that. A feeling of devotion and trust from both sides of the relationship is essential, and it needs to be built over a period of time. Without these, the only thing that individual is feeling is lust or the longing to fill an empty void in their heart.

In any case, that individual is being selfish.

The best object to symbolize love with is a red rose. The velvety blood red pedals resemble that of the human heart, the place where the feeling of love is stored.

You lean down to examine the rose more closely and you catch a whiff of its fragrance. You can't help but want to hold it, so you grab it from its resting place without really thinking about the consequences of such a bold move. No sooner had you grabbed it that there is now blood trickling down your wrist caused by the thorns protruding from the stem's surface.

The rose also stands for the pain love can bring, if you don't take your time and think your actions through carefully, that feeling of trust will turn into the bitter one of betrayal.

For trust can be portrayed as a weakness if betrayal is its' bane.

However, you don't feel betrayed, because the rose is a symbol of your love, and a crucial part of love is forgiveness. So you handle the rose gently this time, ignoring the earlier wound, because it only serves as a reminder of a past mistake.

Now you look to the future.

The path of life is intangible. How can one help but feel that it is all for naught when everyday their bond with the one they love is tested? It just won't end.

But one day in the near future, when it is all said and done, you will look back and see those challenges as mere bumps on the road and wonder; did you pay enough for the life you have now?

The endless hardships you faced in the past, the prosperous future that awaits you. Isn't that your… equivalent exchange?

Chapter 1: "To Move Forward in Life... Alone"

I fell on my knees onto the freezing cement, completely overwhelmed by both emotional and mental exhaustion. All of which were moulded together into one internal wound that would most likely serve to deepen the bitterness in my already heavy heart for years to come.

I was shaking terribly, about the time when I would've started to cry. However, I couldn't shed even one tear. But why? What should have been me wracking with sobs was in reality me looking up at my tormentors with glazed eyes. I shook the surge of emotions out of my body as best I could and tried to ignore the blinding pain burdening my every movement from the physical wound.

With shaky hands at the gruesome knowledge of a foreign object in my body, I reached down towards my chest and gripped the handle of a small knife protruding from my skin's surface and in one fluid motion, yanked the blade out.

Looking down at my chest, I could make out a small slit of dark blood trailing down my clothes just above my left breast. Where the heart resides, how fitting. Perplexed, I placed my hand over it in wonder of how I, a human, could have survived with such an injury.

Only one with an immortal life could...

I had grown accustomed to this, every so often in one of the mountain towns I found on the outskirts of Amestris, I would be attacked at night by men who were either just disgusting or drunk. That's the problem with a lone woman travelling in secluded towns. The laws of the state aren't exactly enforced, which is an open invitation to criminals and assorted others.

I felt a hand grip my chin tightly and yank it up, forcing me to look into one of the men's eyes. Still clutching the knife, I wished that I had the fortitude to drive it through him. But the idea soon passed and I released the blade, letting it fall to the ground.

I was once again pulled from my thoughts when he grabbed me by the collar and pulled me up and off the ground to his level.

He sneered at me. "Having fun… little bitch?" I felt like heaving right there. Not because of that stupid question, but because the man's breath was putrid, it smelt strongly of Whiskey, and his speech was slurred. He was definitely drunk, and so were the other two, judging by the way their steps were quite a bit off balance.

I turned my gaze to meet his eyes for a second and what I saw disgusted me...

Lust.

I had seen this look in the eyes of other men during my travels. Their eyes tracing and memorizing every curve on my body in detail. From my face to my breasts, around my waist, even down to my feet. Strange men. However, this look was different, it was predatory lust. This look said that this man would do whatever pleased him and would stop at nothing.

My eyes veered to the side to see the same look in the other mens' eyes. I knew what they were planning to do with me. But I wasn't scared, in fact my face was calm and expressionless, my eyes showed no sign of fear, and I didn't even make a sound. This would not do at all, as far as these three men were concerned.

"What's wrong with you, wench?" The second man yelled as he walked over and slapped me across the face. One of his fingernails caught my right cheek, and now it too was bleeding. But I didn't even blink.

'My... this isn't like you...' A low, but painfully familiar voice echoed in my head.

It was right. I drew my right foot back and kicked the man holding me as hard as I could in the groin. He instantly dropped me and I fell to my knees once again. He collapsed as well and hurled, because of the pain or alcohol, I couldn't be certain.

I began to crawl away, I couldn't even attempt to stand due to my injuries, when the third man stopped me with his foot pressed against my back before removing it and flipping me over. I had never been fully taken advantage of by any of these random village men, someone or something always stopped it, but it looked like this time I wouldn't be so fortunate. As I prepared myself for the violation the deafening snap of a gunshot rang out.

I looked past the guy and saw that the man who had slapped me had a bullet embedded in his chest. Whomever it belonged to was definitely a crack shot, I couldn't even see them yet. The first man had already fled the scene, soon followed by the one who was intent on having his way with me.

I sat up and remained there for a moment, listening to the rapid foot steps of the one who had saved me getting closer...

"Winry! Are you alright?"

I froze. I couldn't see who it was yet, but I hadn't heard my name spoken for so long. In fact, the last person who said my name was…

I shuddered, preferring not to think about who it was.

'What's wrong...? If you're afraid... don't stay...'

Once again listening to that smooth voice, I jumped up and bolted before I could see my saviour's face. I didn't want to see anyone I may have once known.

It was difficult for me to run. I was wearing a dark maroon dress with long sleeves, and a high collar. The length of it was long and stopped a few inches down my calves with a small slit on either side. The top of it was snug, hugging my chest, but the bottom flowed out like a peasant dress.

Underneath, I wore a pair of tight, black, cotton pants and I wore my hair down but still well cared for. As for shoes, well... I wasn't wearing any.

A woman running a small clothing shop had given them to me after the cloths I left my home in got ruined. There was still a bit of charitable kindness left in some people. However, the clothes were now tattered and covered in blood from past assaults.

The only thing I had left from my home was a simple gold pendant with a blue sapphire on a small yet posh silver chain. It was my mother's pendant, and I always wear it now.

I ran for what felt like forever. Thunder started to rumble and the rain had returned and was now pouring down hard causing my open wounds to sting like hell. I had a deep gash across my chest that started on my left shoulder and stretched downward across my breast narrowly missing my right nipple, and a smaller one down my right arm. There was also the newly aquired one over my heart. The blood was still seeping, and pus was starting to materialize. I was afraid that if I didn't get it cleaned it would turn into a severe case of blood poisoning or Gangrene.

But I still forced myself to keep running ignoring the bone numbing pain that coursed throughout my body with every step. I had no idea where I was, just another random town on the border of Amestris that wasn't even big enough to be put on the map, but who cares? Well, I might have at one time, but I've been on my own like this for six months, what do I have to care about? I have nobody...

I turned a corner into an alley and tripped over some debris, banging my chin on the cement. I reached up and gripped onto the nearest wall with my fingertips, digging my nails into the coarse surface not caring that they too were bleeding until I couldn't ignore the pain any longer. I felt like screaming in agony, but instead it came out as an exasperated groan. The pain was excruciating, I felt like my entire body had been shattered.

I pulled myself into a sitting position with my back leaning up against the wall. I wrapped my arms around my knees and brought them up to my chest burying my face in my knees.

I stayed that way, lost in my thoughts for barely a minute when…

"Winry…"

I recognized that voice, it was the same person who had saved me. They must have been following me the whole time. I looked up into the familiar eyes of a person I had indeed once known, standing right in front of me.

"… I know your face…" My voice choked out. I hadn't spoken in so long, too long.

The person smiled at me and crouched down to my level. "Why did you run from me? I have been looking for you for five months now… are you afraid of me?"

I screwed up my face in confusion. Five months? A month after I went missing? Word sure travels fast.

"Why are you here?" My voice had finally recovered.

"I told you. I've been looking for you."

"But why? We were never really close or anything."

"I know… but I felt obligated to you since the war in Lior, after the gate was closed." I cringed when they said 'gate.' I always do when someone mentions that word. It always reminded me of… Edward…

"I don't know why you wanted to leave Resembool…" The person started as they turned to sit by my side against the wall, their blue military uniform already soaked from the rain. "And I don't know what you must be feeling, having lost the rest of your family." I didn't respond, so they continued. "But I do know that I want to help you. I once told myself that if you were ever left alone, I would take care of you."

"… but why would you do that?"

"After the military's visit to Resembool, I started to get to know you, and the smart, strong willed and beautiful girl you are." I smiled at this compliment, I hadn't genuinely smiled for a long time. It was nice.

"So I'm keeping my word..." They continued. "Why don't you come back home with me? There are so many who have been worried sick about you, not just myself." I was surprised, but then again, I did make alot of friends in Central.

"I still don't understand why you want to help me so badly, let alone want me to live with you…"

The person turned to look at me for the first time during our conversation, their bronze eyes shimmering with compassion. "Other than what I already said, I don't really know, it's just an instinct..." I didn't question them any further.

Instinct… is just something I can't question.

The storm had finally passed, and the stars were starting to poke their heads out between the parting clouds. Which suited my change in mood quite well. We both got up, and I started to follow my new companion until I felt a sharp pain deep in my chest. I clutched my chest and collapsed to my knees.

The person rushed to my side. "Winry! Are you alright? Say something, Winry!" I had already passed out from blood loss, and my body had gone numb, but I could still hear them calling my name and shaking my shoulders, except gradually, it started to feel so real…

...End of Dream, or nightmare if you will (Winry's POV)...

"Winry… wake up, it's just a dream."

I finally opened my sapphire eyes to have them meet with the bronze ones of Riza Hawkeye. Her hands were still on my shoulders along with a worried expression on her stern yet gentle face.

"... what time is it?" I asked, trying to adjust my eyes to the early morning light.

"Just a little after six in the morning." She said while removing her hands from my shoulders and sitting back. She was seated on the side of my bed next to me. I propped myself up on my elbows and raised myself into a sitting position.

"Winry… you're drenched in sweat again, I know you were having another of your nightmares again, but you never tell me what they're about. Please tell me…"

She's right, I was having another one of my nightmares. I either dream about the days Granny Pinako and Den died, when Ed and Al left me again, the time I was with... him, or…

"… I dreamt about the night you found me in that mountain town… and everything that happened before you came…" I trailed off. Riza didn't say anything, but there was understanding in her eyes while she seemed deep in thought. I had no idea what she was thinking about, but it didn't really matter to me.

There was silence for a few minutes, but it wasn't uncomfortable. I really do enjoy the older woman's company. I just can't open up to her or anyone else, not even Gracia-san. There are just some things that I will never tell anyone, or so I thought at this moment.

"Well, I'm going to go make breakfast, it's time for me to get up now anyway." She stated as she got up to leave.

My eyes followed her until she left my room, closing the door gently behind her. I decided that I should get up too because I was hungry and I always liked having breakfast with Riza.

I left my room, still in my pale violet coloured, cotton pyjamas with my hair in a low braid that I slung over my right shoulder. I'd grown accustomed to wearing my hair in a plait while I slept. It kept the hair out of my face and prevented tangles. I can see why Ed liked them so much.

I had been living with Riza for about a month now. She lives in a regular apartment in Central. I really love her place. It has plenty of room with a living room, kitchen, two bedrooms, two bathrooms each with a shower, plenty of storage space, and even a small dining room. Most of all it's so neat and tidy. Well, this is Riza Hawkeye we're talking about. She calls it an average place. I think it's pretty awesome for an apartment, but what do I have to compare? I use to live in a house.

When I got to the kitchen, Riza was preparing breakfast still in her white cotton pyjamas with her hair down. She usually wears her hair down now, the only time she wears it in her trademark style is when she goes to work.

"There's coffee if you want it. I hope I didn't make it too strong for you." I chucked at this, a month has gone by and she still says this.

"That's alright, you know I like it strong, besides I've gotten use to it because you drink it every morning. Let me guess, it's to help stop the temptation of shooting a certain newly promoted General whenever he tries to find new and creative ways to destroy his paperwork?"

Riza smirked while picking up her gun which always seems to be in her reach. "That's why we have these Winry-san, to keep those men in check." At this we both started laughing. We were probably both thinking about the time a few weeks ago when Havoc tried flirting with me and Riza shot at him. Narrowly missing his family jewels causing him to wet himself in front of the other military personnel. Mustang was laughing so hard he almost wet his own pants.

It was then that Black Hayate came out of Riza's room to come see what he'd missed. I went over to him to give him his good morning attention that he always expected from me.

...End of Winry's POV (Riza's POV)...

I watched as Winry went over to play with Black Hayate. He really does adore the attention she smothers him with.

'Scratch that, he loves her. To him, she's like a second mama. Just look at the way he rolls around and licks her face. Winry sure knows the sweet spots on a dog.'

It made me glad that he's still around to keep her company during the day. It must be lonely since she doesn't like to go out unless she comes with me to HQ, which has become much more lately. Which is fine by me, the days go by faster for everyone when she's around.

'He must remind her so much of Den…' I thought sadly as I watched her giggle when he tried to knock her over. I remember when I first brought Black Hayate to meet Den on one of the military's trips to Resembool. They got along so well. But even then, Den was getting on in years and Black Hayate was still young. It was only a matter of time…

I went back to making our breakfast. I wasn't much of a cook, but I could make the essentials. Breakfast this morning consisted of scrambled eggs, toast, hash browns, and bacon. Can't eat cereal everyday.

While waiting for the toast I thought about Winry's dream. The night I found her in that town that wasn't even on the map, and what those men were about to do to her. I shivered at the thought, it was a good thing I got there when I did or… well, she and I both know what would have happened.

As for where the rest of the military were concerned, I simply stated that I found her in an uncharted town, but nothing about what might have happened to her, it would have killed… Roy. Not even I know what happened to her since the day she returned to Resembool after the Elric brother's departure, or when she left after her Grandmother and Den passed away…

"Riza-san?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and glanced over at Winry who was looking at me with a smirk. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"What's this? The great Lieutenant General Hawkeye is zoning out? I thought you always told me that it's important to always keep ones' guard up?" She asked sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and went to sit at the table. "I don't think anyone would come in here, I think they'd be scared of my cooking." At this remark Winry started giggling as she went to sit on the couch.

"Hey, my cooking's not that bad!"

"Really? Then what's the cause of all that black smoke?" She asked while putting her feet up on the coffee table.

I looked over to the toaster and sure enough smoke was seeping through the slits. "Shit!" I cursed as I went over to the smoking appliance and popped the pitch black toast out. Winry was now laughing at my antics while Black Hayate had joined her with his howling.

"Now don't you start." He immediately stopped and skulked back into my bedroom with his tail between his legs. "And as for you…" I turned to the lemon blonde who stopped laughing, also immediately. "You get to eat the burnt toast since you think you're a comedian, and I hate those over promoted media events."

"Ewww." she pouted as she got up to join me at the table.

We ate in silence for the most part. Black Hayate had returned and placed his head on Winry's lap so she tried giving him the burnt toast when she thought I wasn't looking.

"I don't think so." I told her without looking up from the newspaper I was reading. She puffed out her cheeks and went back to pouting in a childish manner while Black Hayate gave me an annoyed look. Afterall, it was still food to him.

At one point, I glanced up from my paper to see that she'd lost her sour attitude and was eating her food with a small smile adorning her features. This made me smile in turn. It seemed like so long since Winry smiled from the day I brought her to Central. I think she just needed reassurance from the others and myself. But she still doesn't show her true emotions, she just keeps everything bottled up, which worries me...

"Hey Riza-san, I guess you're going into work today, right?" She asked out of the blue.

"Yes, I have alot of paperwork to handle and a General to keep in line..." She looked a little sad when I finished. I know she prefers it when she gets to come with me and see everyone. "Would you like to come?" I added.

Her expression changed to that of a child who just received their favourite sweet. "ALRIGHT! I'll go get ready!" She stated happily and sprinted into her room, slamming the door behind her.

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee. 'One thing's for sure, that girl will never lose her spunk.' I mused as I pet the black and white dog that was now awaiting my attention.

...End of Riza's POV (normal POV)...

When Winry got to her room she immediately gathered the things she needed to take a shower and went to the bathroom closest to her room. Riza had an ensuite in her own room.

After her shower, Winry grabbed a white towel and wrapped it around herself and began to blow dry her hair and apply some lotion, which smelt sweetly of lilies, to her skin.

While she was brushing her hair she examined her reflection in the giant bathroom mirror.

She really had changed. Her face was now slender and had lost the roundness of a child's, but was still soft making her facial expression delicate.

Her skin was creamy white. No, it was a perfect shade of ivory, almost like her body had been carved from the white substance.

Her hair had grown quite long now. It reached about mid thigh and held a slight wave to it while her ends were still flat and well taken care of. She kept the same tendrils and bangs she had since she was a teenager. Her locks still maintained their pale blonde shade with some of the tresses tinted gold. It always shimmered so brilliantly.

She brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear to almost be blinded by the shimmer of her silver earrings. 'Now those I'll never change.' She mused to herself.

She hadn't grown much taller in her final growth spurt, still about half an inch shorter than Riza, and her body had filled out nicely. She maintained her small waist and her hips curved out almost gracefully to meet her slender legs.

It had been a little over a month since Riza first brought her to Central so her injuries had healed completely. There weren't any scars except for a small one just above her left breast, the mark caused by the blade one of those men had. It would probably fade in time but until then it would serve as a constant reminder so she would never forget the trials she faced. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

'Farewell days of my teenage years. It's time to grow up.' She thought glumly.

But it was her eyes that caught most of her attention. They were slightly narrower and not so wide and innocent as a child's. But they were still full and a vibrant blue like the depths of the ocean. But what disturbed her was that the sparkle that once ignited her eyes had been extinguished. The eyes staring back at her were ones that belonged to a girl who lost something valuable as a child and kept losing until she had nothing left. In fact they were so cold it made her literally shiver on the spot. Each sapphire resembled that of an icicle. She was scared of those lonely orbs.

She grabbed a towel off the rack, wrapped it around herself and returned to her room to get dressed.

She put on a white satin, strapless bra and matching panties, a white t-shirt and the blue military uniform Riza had given her so she would blend in and prevent any questions about why a civilian is in restricted areas at HQ. But by now most knew who Winry was and kept their mouths shut. The outfit was identical to Riza's and she liked the style of it, it definitely wasn't cheap looking.

After changing, she went over to the big mirror on her desk and removed the plait she had put back in after her shower. She put her hair up in a high ponytail with a blue elastic which changed the length to her behind, and put her mother's pendant on so it sat on the outside of the uniform. She then applied a bit of pale pink lipstick.

She smirked to herself. 'I used to hate the idea of painting my face, then again, alot of things have changed, and it's not because I'm an adult. Riza still doesn't wear any makeup.'

Before Winry left, something poking out of a drawer in her desk caught her attention. She went over and opened the it to reveal an origami sculpture made out of white paper she had made a few years ago. It was an exact replica of a cherry blossom tree she remembers so fondly. She even shaded the part where the cherry blossoms would be with a baby pink crayon making the small piece of art hold a blush tone.

'I bet Elysia-chan would love this, afterall… I don't need it anymore.' Winry thought as she tucked the small sculpture into her jacket and left her room.

She met up with Riza who already had her black military coat on and was waiting for Winry holding her identical coat over her elbow. Riza had already gotten ready, cleaned up the kitchen, and fed Black Hayate who was now lying in a patch of sun in the living room, soaking up the sun's rays.

'Damn she's fast, how does she do it? Such is the life of a military officer, I suppose.' Winry thought to herself while pulling her coat on. 'I still refuse to call Riza a dog of the military…'

"Ready to go?" Riza asked as she got her keys out. Winry nodded while giving Black Hayate one last goodbye pet on the head before following Riza out the door.

They went outside to where Riza had her military vehicle parked. It was around seven in the morning and the grass was still dewy and the air was crisp. Autumn was fast approaching. Winry got into the passenger side as Riza started the car. She always rode shotgun with Riza, even when they were giving other military personnel a ride.

The drive was silent, but again, not an uncomfortable one. Winry was leaning on the palm of her hand while gazing out the window at the passing scenery. At one moment Riza looked over towards her and let a flicker of a smile pass.

"What is it?" Winry asked, turning slightly to face her.

"It's nothing." Riza stated monotonously and turned her attention back to the road.

'She's definitely improving and opening up more. At least she doesn't call me Hawkeye anymore.'

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.