Disclaimer – No I don't own Lost. If I did I'd bury J.J. Abrams for writing that crappy opener for Season 3.
Gag ending number 3: "There's No Place Like… Where?"
(As the scene opens Jack is in his glass cage, and Ben is standing on the other side looking very pleased.)
Ben: Thank you Jack. You performed the surgery and saved my life. You truly are a man of your word, and so are we. I'm so grateful to be alive that I'm actually going to overlook the stunt you pulled in the operating room.
Jack: So you're keeping your end of the deal? I can go home then?
Ben: Yes Jack, you can go home as soon as you're ready.
Jack: I'm ready now Ben.
Ben: There is one thing you have to do in order to get home.
Jack: And what's that?
Ben: Click your heels together and say, "there's no place like home."
Jack: That's it? You mean that's all I had to do? Do you seriously mean for me to believe that I could have gone home at any time?
Ben: Well, try it if you don't believe me.
(Jack clicks his heels together.)
Jack: There's no place like home.
(Jack's vision fades to black. He wakes up in a bed and he sees the faces of Juilet, Pickett, and Tom (Mr. Friendly to those of you who don't know), standing over him.)
Jack: (Groaning) Ugh, I just had the weirdest dream. (He points to Juilet) You were there, (he points to Pickett) and you were there, (he points to Tom) and you were there.
(The three laugh.)
Jack: What's so funny?
(Suddenly Ben comes bursting into the room)
Ben: YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D BITCH!