A Thousand Years

Chapter Seven: Confessions and Humiliation

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

A/N: Good news! I've gotten over my writer's block! At least for the time being. . Blah. My muse returned with a slap in the face to get my ass in gear. Anyway, I've been told by one of my reviewers that Raziel and his brethren have been acting like a bunch of schoolgirls. I hadn't noticed up until that moment and I have to admit that he has a point. I'll try to make them a bit more masculine, but one must also keep in mind that they're young. Also keep in mind that I am a female and I don't know how the male mind works. .;

WARNING! – This chapter is rated NC-17 for sexual content. If you are offended by male/male pairings or sexual content of any kind, PLEASE STOP NOW!

A few weeks after the incident with Miya, I could take it no longer. I had to tell Kain how I felt about him, even if he probably already knew due to his empathy. It was eating me away inside and I felt I had to tell him or I would burst. But at the same time, I was nervous and scared.

Today Kain was teaching me how to use a bow and arrow. He stood behind me with his arms around my shoulders, showing me how to correctly hold the bow and how to draw back the arrow. I could hardly breathe, my heart was pounding so hard I was sure he must have heard it. There were butterflies in my stomach and I felt faintly dizzy.

"Follow the line of the arrow," Kain murmured lowly in his deeply accented voice. "Now, draw the arrow back. Steady... steady..." He drew back my arm holding the arrow with me, his muscular chest brushing up against my back, his chin over my shoulder. The color crept to my cheeks as I felt his leg brushing against mine, we were so close together. My lips felt dry and I had to lick them to moisten them. "And... release." I let go of the arrow and it sailed toward the target, slamming into the bulls-eye.

Kain nodded in approval. "Just like that. Be careful not to pull back on the string too hard or you'll break it." He stepped back from me.

I lowered the bow. It was now or never. "...Kain?"

"Yes?"

I cleared my throat nervously and looked at him. "I... may seem too forward in saying this, but... I have grown to like you... more than just a father..."

Kain arched his slender black brows. "Saying...?"

I lowered my head. "...I think I'm in love with you..."

"Explain," was Kain's curt response. "What are you experiencing that makes you feel this way?"

This was turning out to be much more difficult than I had imagined. "...I dream about you a lot... It's difficult to concentrate on what you teach me because you are so close to me... Your voice is so pleasing to hear, and you are so beautiful..." I cut off as Kain threw back his head and laughed. My heart dropped in my stomach like a lead weight.

"What you're feeling isn't love, Raziel, it's lust. You have a petty crush on me, that's all it ever was and all it ever will be." He didn't bother to lower his voice, and as luck would have it, Rahab was walking by. He jerked to a halt and listened in obvious mirth, running off to no doubt tell the others about this. I suddenly wanted to curl up into a hole and bury myself deep, where no one could find me. Humiliation and shame burned in my chest. I clenched my fists, staring down at the floor, never having felt so pathetic in my entire life.

Kain sneered at me in disgust. "I advise you to grow up, and quickly. Dismissed."

I put away the bow and arrow, turning to walk out of the training room, heading back to my own room as fast as I could, hoping I would not run into any of my brethren. Once I had reached my chambers, I slipped inside and shut the door, locking it securely. My forehead thumped against the door and I closed my eyes. How could I have been so foolish as to think he would return my feelings or even care in the least? Maybe Kain wasn't homosexual? Or maybe he didn't care for incest? Would it count as incest amongst vampires? I'm his vampiric son, not his natural son. I was left with more questions and more discomfort than I had begun with.

I suddenly felt a presence behind me, and whirled around just as I was slammed up against the door. I struggled beneath the weight pinning me down and my eyes went wide to see Turel glaring at me with his dark eyes. My shock quickly turned to rage. How dare he hide out in my chambers and attack me? "Turel! What the hell are you doing?"

"I have to admit it was brave of you to go to Kain and tell him how you feel, but you'll never get anywhere with him. Kain is as unfeeling and uncaring as a rock. We are his lieutenants, nothing more. What made you think he could possibly care for you?" Turel sneered in my face.

My anger turned to shock once again and confusion. I let it go that he was pinning me up against the door for a moment and thought. "…He saved my life back in the city a few weeks ago."

Turel scoffed. "The only reason he did that is because there is only six of us, and you, unfortunately, are the strongest of the brood. He doesn't want to loose any of his lieutenants before the war has even begun."

I felt a further sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and shoved Turel off of me, leaning back against the door. "Why do you care what I feel for Kain?"

"Why aren't the rest of us good enough for you? What's wrong with us?" Turel growled at me. "Do we not fit your standards? Do we disgust you?"

"…What?" Was he implying that he had feelings for me? But how could that be, when he had been nothing but cold and cruel towards me? My thoughts were interrupted as Turel roughly pinned me against the door and pressed his lips against mine. Shocked and appalled, I kicked him violently in the shin, causing him to let out a muffled curse, staggering back. We glared at each other, and I wiped the back of my hand over my mouth to try to remove the feeling of his lips on mine. Turel's dark eyes smoldered.

"You little prick, answer me. Why aren't any of us good enough for you?" Turel sneered as he straightened up, resisting the urge to clutch at his shin, no doubt.

The first explanation I came up with spilled out of my mouth in a cold tone. "Because none of you are Kain."

"FUCK KAIN!" Turel slammed his fist into his palm. "Fuck that arrogant piece of shit! You've seen how he responds to any kind of affection! Affection is for the weak, love is childish, and so on and so forth! How can you still want him after he humiliated you!"

I heaved a shaky sigh, collecting myself before replying, "I can't help it." It was almost… touching, how Turel was competing for my favor. Turel, of all people. But I'd had enough. I stepped away from the door and stood in front of my bed, gesturing to the door. "Now leave, Turel. What I feel and who I care about is my business, not yours. You'd best remember that."

Turel snarled, "It's not over yet." Instinctively I dropped into a defensive position as Turel lunged at me. I grabbed his outstretched claws and forced them away from me. We grappled with each other, but Turel's foot suddenly snaked out and locked behind my ankle, yanking me off-balance while he shoved forward, sending the two of us crashing down onto the bed. His mouth locked over mine again, working his lips against my mouth, opening his to bite at my bottom lip, and along with the brief flash of pain came the feeling of his wet tongue lapping up the blood. I snarled and struggled beneath him, but he had pinned my wrists to the sides, his knees forcing my legs to be still.

My heart was pounding, frantically pumping adrenaline through my body. I was furious. The sharing of blood between vampires is a very intimate thing, and I hated how he thought he could have this liberty with me. Swiftly I snapped at him, grabbing his lip in my teeth and tearing it. He snarled and kissed me roughly again, trying to force his tongue into my mouth. His loins pressed against my abdomen, and I could feel through the leather pants that he was very hard. If the bastard had any intention of raping me, he'd have a difficult time doing it. I clamped down on his tongue with all my might, sharp fangs and teeth puncturing through the slippery, wet muscle. He jerked his head back with a scream and let go of one wrist to punch me in the gut. Pain exploded in my stomach and I gasped, blood staining my mouth, trying to curl up in a fetal position to protect my stomach from further harm, but he still had my legs and arm pinned.

Turel swallowed the blood that was pooling in his mouth, his dark eyes enraged. He took hold of my pants and ripped them off of me with his claws, swiftly crawling out of his own. I was stunned, and couldn't bring myself to move yet. All I could do was watch with a dawning horror as Turel's gaze hungrily traveled over my body, lingering in part on my loins. I'm sure the bastard derived some sick pleasure in noticing how much larger he was than me. I wasn't small by any means, but I was not so absurdly hung as him. By the Gods, I could hardly believe he was even bigger when aroused. I had to do something, quickly, or I would be in for a world of pain.

I struggled to move, but he grabbed me roughly and turned me over, pinning me down on my face. My breath was suddenly coming in harsh gasps as I thrashed, clawing at the bed sheets and trying to escape, but he had me pinned again. His long, hard shaft rubbed against my buttocks, and my struggles increased tenfold. My first experience would NOT be with this egotistical bastard! I refused to allow it!

The head of his penis pressed against my entrance, and instinctively I clenched those muscles as hard as I could. A scream was building in my throat, but I stubbornly choked it down. I'd been humiliated once today. I could handle this myself! I didn't need the aid of anyone else!

Turel growled in frustration at my resistance and reached down, sliding a finger in through my entrance. I bit back a gasp and writhed beneath him, my arms pinned above my head by his other hand, legs still pinned by his own. He began rubbing within and around my entrance, and my breath caught in my throat at the feeling he ignited. For a moment, I relaxed, and in that moment he withdrew his finger and placed his shaft at my entrance, forcing his manhood inside of me with deep, powerful thrusts.

I felt something tear inside of me, and I screamed, my voice muffled into the bed sheets beneath me. Pain tore through me, throbbing with each hard thrust that forced Turel's organ deeper inside of me. Struggling was useless now. He had me, and any movement on my part would only enhance his pleasure. My fingers curled around the bed sheets and I clenched them tightly, gasping, my eyes tightly closed.

My breath caught in my throat mid-gasp, and I let out a startled noise as his penis hit a spot inside of me that sent hot, aching pleasure through my body. Upon hearing my noise, Turel's thrusts increased in pace, driving himself over that same spot over and over again. My eyes clenched tightly shut as pleasure and pain mingled, my blood running hot with the combined sensations. Turel leaned over me, his broad chest pressed against my bare back, his breath hot against my neck while he moved above me, our bodies rocking on the bed. His hand slipped down beneath and touched my own hardened shaft, stroking and curling his fingers around it, rubbing it up and down. Out of my mouth came a little mewling noise that startled me when I recognized it as my own voice. Apparently my body and mind had forgotten that he was RAPING me, forcing himself on me against my will.

But… Gods, it felt so good.

He suddenly developed a feverish pace, pumping my shaft in time with his thrusts, his breath heavy and hot on the back of my neck. I writhed beneath him and moaned, my entire body on fire with this throbbing, aching sensation. Pleasure and pain became one, and I was lost to it.

Both of us jumped and froze in shock as the door slammed off its hinges and crashed to the floor, lock and all.

Kain strode into the room like a raging storm, silver-blue eyes blazing furiously. He never hesitated as he walked over and grabbed Turel, yanking him off of me and throwing him to the floor. I gasped as his manhood left my body, his touch leaving me unfinished and aching, slowly sinking back down again, wondering what Kain was doing. My eyes widened as I saw Turel's erect shaft coated in blood… MY blood.

Turel hissed up at Kain as he advanced on him, but the hiss was abruptly cut off as Kain's fist slammed into his diaphragm, stunning him so that he couldn't breathe. His mouth opened and gaped like a fish's, trying to inhale, but unable to make his stunned diaphragm perform. Kain hauled him up by the neck and clenched his fist around Turel's shaft, his claws digging into the swollen flesh. Turel's eyes flew open and he thrashed, mouth open in a silent scream.

I could only watch in stunned silence as Kain hissed in Turel's face, "Give me one good reason I shouldn't rip off your cock and shove it down your throat!" Turel's eyes widened in an almost comical terror. He shook his head swiftly from side to side, silently pleading. Kain spat in his face, sneering, "Insufferable fool! I will not allow such behavior in my lieutenants! Take your insecurities and work to make them secure, or get the hell out of here! And if you EVER attempt to rape any of your brothers again, I will tie you down and drip water over your manhood until it melts into nothingness!"

Seemingly satisfied at the stark terror on Turel's face, and his currently VERY unhappy state, he whirled and threw Turel out of the room, picking up his pants and throwing them out after him. "Get out of my sight!" he hissed, and Turel scrambled to comply, limping down the hall, gasping hoarsely for breath.

Kain turned, and our eyes met. His intense Husky eyes bore into mine, and I had to look down. Even now he was beautiful to me.

The bed sank down under an additional weight, and I lifted my eyes in surprise at seeing Kain sitting on the bed behind me. I self-consciously tried to move to slip under the blankets, but he gripped one of my ankles and growled softly. "Hold still." I froze.

He moved behind me and I felt his hand on my backside. A shudder traveled through my body and I looked back at him again, embarrassment and humiliation causing my face to turn red to the tips of my ears as he examined my backside. I looked away and buried my face in my arms. It was easier if I didn't have to look at him. "….What… are you doing?" I asked hesitantly.

"Checking the damage," Kain replied curtly. "And there's a lot. You're bleeding all over."

Oh. "…How bad is it?"

"You'll live. That bastard was far too big to safely take you without preparation. Although I'm sure your safety wasn't his number one priority." He examined the ripped pants, tossing them aside to throw out later. "It didn't help that you have a tight little ass."

I didn't think my face could have gotten any redder. I was wrong.

He watched me intently, and slowly arched a brow. "You're taking it quite well."

"Would you rather I put up a fuss?" I retorted, a little snippily.

Both brows arched now. "Testy, aren't we?" He leaned around to get a better look at my face. "Or just embarrassed." He sighed. "So how did it happen? You're stronger than him, Raziel. Not by much, but enough. You should have been able to stop him."

I didn't respond for several long moments, but when I did, it was with another question, "What took you so long?"

He frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Dumah and I surmised you must have some empathy to your sons, so that you can feel when they are in trouble, and be able to protect them. So why didn't you come for me right away?" My chin rested on my folded arms while I watched him. My arousal had finally begun to settle, the ache diminishing somewhat in my loins.

Kain looked mildly surprised and approving that we had figured it out. "I was out saving Zephon's backside from vampire hunters. His life was in more danger than yours was."

"Ah," I replied.

"Also, I hoped that you would mature somewhat after getting raped."

"…." My eyes narrowed. "I beg your pardon?"

Kain was unfazed by my anger. "It is commonly known that rape is a loss of innocence, and the victim of such grows up faster. The six of you still act like children, and I have no patience for children. With any luck, you will mature, and stop seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses, as youth commonly does." He rose up from the bed while I frowned. "You will learn soon enough that the world is a very cruel place. Everyone is selfish. They think only of themselves, and never of anyone else."

"You're not," I replied without thinking. "You raised me and my brethren as vampires and gave us a new life. You've taken care of us and taught us so much. That doesn't seem selfish to me."

"I don't do it out of the goodness of my heart, Raziel. I do it out of necessity. You and your brothers are pawns to help me reach my goal. If we are put in a position where I have to forfeit my own life to save yours, I won't do it. I look out for myself first, and everyone else last. It's a dog eat dog world, and only the strongest survive. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten."

"You're being brutally honest," I muttered wryly.

"That is one thing you can count on from me." Kain stared me straight in the eye. "I will never lie to you. I've been lied to far too often, and I hate it." He walked to the door and picked it up, setting it back in the door, connecting the hinges again. "You are exempt from archery practice tomorrow. With the damage you've taken, you're going to be limping for the next twenty-four hours." He then opened the door and left without so much as a goodbye, closing it behind him.

I listened to his footsteps retreat down the hall and sighed, muttering sarcastically, "Oh, the joys of father-son bonding." Physically and mentally exhausted, it wasn't long before I drifted off to sleep.