A Thousand Years
Chapter Eight: The Meaning of Maturity.
Disclaimer: Raziel's MY bitch! ... >.> ... Maybe not. >.O;;
A/N: Thanks for all the positive reviews! I'm glad everyone approves of the way I'm portraying Kain and the boys. After this chapter, I'll be doing a little time jump. A thousand years is just a tad bit too long to play it day by day.
Several days passed, each day laced thick with tension on the air. Of course, by this time everyone knew of my confession to Kain, his response, and my humiliation by Turel's hands. Dumah and Zephon tried to be supportive. Rahab and Melchiah were torn between patting Turel on the back and knocking some sense into him. The six brothers were equally split into opposing sides, and one side could not confront the other without hostility involved.
It was inevitable that I run into Turel himself. He was heading for the training area as soon as I had finished. We stopped at the exact same moment. He stared at me. I stared right back at him. I could feel my grim expression slipping from my face, any emotion in my eyes leeched away, until my features were as empty as I felt. Faintly, I was aware of Kain standing in the doorway of the training room, watching us. I kept walking, and Turel turned his head to watch me. I never looked back.
That is how it was any time I came across Turel. Sometimes he would try to get my attention, sneering or smirking at me depending on the mood he was in. I would ignore him and continue on with an empty feeling in my chest. At one time, this occurred in front of Dumah and Zephon. Out of my peripheral vision I saw them exchange glances. They were worried. Why?
It came as no surprise when Dumah stopped by my room one night and asked to speak with me. He sat down beside me on the bed as I sharpened the blade of one of my knives, watching me. "Raziel, I'm concerned."
I glanced up at him and voiced the one word question on my mind. "Why?"
He sighed softly. "You are not yourself."
I set aside the blade and the whittling stone I was using to sharpen it, watching him, waiting for him to clarify himself.
Dumah looked around the room, examining the few possessions I had on my shelf. "You are not so expressive as you once were… You're just… empty of all emotions. It's not like you."
"Perhaps I've grown up," I replied simply.
My brother shook his head. "No. You haven't 'grown up'. You've died." He returned his gaze to me while one of my brows arched upward. "You were once so full of life… so appreciative of everything around you. You found joy in the simplest things. You were eager to please, but at the same time, swift to take charge. It's what we loved about you. Now all that is left is a beautiful, empty shell." He sighed again and muttered, "Even Kain shows more emotion than you do now."
"It is what Kain wanted of me," I replied, staring into Dumah's deep blue eyes. "That's why he didn't hasten to save me. He wanted me to loose that carefree innocence I once possessed."
The backhanded slap was swift and unexpected, snapping my head to the side. With it came a surge of anger. Was I to be everyone's personal punching bag?
Dumah hissed at me with an anger I'd never seen on him before. "He wants us to mature, but he would not want us to loose all sense of ourselves! You mistake the difference between maturity and immaturity! Emotions of any sort do not determine whether or not you are mature. Nor does a general love for life. It is what makes you the way you are. You cannot deny yourself your true nature!"
I couldn't help it. I began to laugh. It was a very deep and chilling laugh that did not sound like me at all, and it stunned Dumah into silence. "You don't know Kain very well, do you?" My little brother stared at me with questioning eyes, obviously disturbed by my actions. "We are his pawns. He doesn't care for us. He doesn't care how we feel. He wouldn't give a rat's ass if we lost all sense of ourselves and became his mindless puppets. In fact, he'd probably prefer it that way. As long as we stay alive and fight his war against mankind to an extent that he approves of, nothing else matters to him."
"I don't believe that's entirely true, Raziel," Dumah replied softly. "Kain doesn't seem entirely cold-hearted." He ignored the short, barking laugh I let loose and continued, "He seems like a person who has lost a lot and has known little of kindness in his life, and therefore, has lost his ability to trust. Something or some things in his past have jaded him, and he has learned that the only person he can trust in is himself. Putting trust in anyone else is like opening the door for heartbreak once again."
"Heartbreak?" I repeated incredulously. "Kain is heartless. What little heart he has is a black, withered, frozen, dead thing in his chest."
"That is precisely why we should ask ourselves, 'Why is it that way? What has happened to him to make him close off his heart to anyone else?'" Dumah urged me intently.
"Why should it matter?" I countered, sitting forward. "What good will it do if we ever find out what makes Kain the way he is? We can't change him. All we would be able to do is pity him, and he would kill us if we showed a scrap of pity toward him."
Defeated, Dumah sat back, raking his taloned fingers through his dark brown hair. "I came in here to discuss you, not Kain. Look, Raziel, please, just listen to me. You speak of Kain's supposedly black and withered heart contemptuously… yet you fail to see that if you continue acting the way you are, your heart will become as black and withered as his. Do you truly want that? Do you want to be just like Kain, knowing how he humiliated you and hurt you?"
"No," I replied quietly, slowly lowering my eyes to the bed.
"Do you want to be unhappy for the rest of your very long life?"
"No," I replied again.
Dumah's hand cupped my cheek, lifting my gaze back up to his. "The true meaning of maturity," he murmured, his musical voice soft and pleasing to the ear, "is not that you stop being happy. Being mature does not mean that you cast aside all emotions and become cold and empty. Maturity is achieved when you can look at yourself and acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, as well as all of the things that make up who you are."
I let his words soak in, closing my eyes, feeling his cool palm against my face. We were both quiet for several long moments before I finally found my voice. "Where do you get your wisdom from, and where can I get some?"
Dumah laughed softly, resting his forehead against mine and running his fingers through my hair. "There's the Raziel we all know and love." He smirked and tapped the tip of my nose. "Where I get my wisdom from is my little secret. If I let you know, then everyone will want to know where to get some, and I won't be so wise anymore because soon everyone will be as wise as me."
"Haven't you heard of 'share the love'?" I smirked, playfully nipping at the finger that tapped my nose.
He swiftly pulled back his finger and grinned, "No, I can't say I have." Dumah pulled back and slipped off the bed, heading for the door. "Now, if I see you moping around anymore, I'm going to have to slap you again."
"Speaking of which," I growled playfully, grabbing my pillow and chucking it at his head. He laughed and shielded his head with his arms as he fled my room. I lay back upon my bed, arms folded behind my head, a smirk upon my lips. "Revenge is sweet."
A/N – Whoa. Didn't think I'd get another chapter out this soon. Dumah and Raziel are so cuuute. Hope you all enjoy! Next chapter will be taking place fifty years later.
Raziel: Whatever happened to that one witch chick?
ShadowWolf: Miya? She'll make an appearance later on.
Raziel: How much later?
ShadowWolf: …Good question. Or I might just dump her out of the story. I suck at original characters.
Raziel: No, you just suck at spur-of-the-moment original characters when you have no idea what else to write.
ShadowWolf: ….Thanks. e.e;
Raziel: Anytime.
Dumah: Are you going to pair Raziel and me together?
ShadowWolf: Maybe. Probably not.
Dumah: Raziel and Zephon?
ShadowWolf: (Shrugs)
Dumah: Raziel and Kain?
ShadowWolf: (Points out) That obviously ain't happening.
Dumah: Raziel and Turel?
Raziel: HELL NO!
Turel: O.O (Sniffle)
ShadowWolf: (Blinks at Dumah) What's with the Raziel pairings?
Dumah: I like a good romance fanfic.
ShadowWolf: Me too, but not in this fanfic. Not yet, anyway. I have plans, Dumah, trust me!
Dumah: o.o; ….Raziel and Melchiah?
Raziel: EEEEEEEWWWWWWW! (Grabs duct tape and slaps some over Dumah's mouth)
Zephon: Raziel and MOEBIUS!
Raziel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Claws at his head to get the mental images out of his mind)
ShadowWolf: That… is so wrong. O.o;
Zephon: Bwahahaha. Or maybe... the Elder God?
Elder God: Lick my tentacle.
Raziel: o.o (Turns and walks over to the wall, hitting his head against it repeatedly) .
ShadowWolf: …I'm going to have nightmares about this.
Elder God: (Thrusts a tentacle in front of Turel) Lick my tentacle.
Turel: >.O (Bites it)
Elder God: OHH YESSS! (Squirts out a huge cloud of ink)
Turel: O.O;
ShadowWolf: (Hits her head hard on the desk and waves away anyone who still might be reading this) Off with you, before my corrupt and perverse mind spreads to yours. Oh, but would you please review on your way out? Many thanks.