Shera's Diary

Chapter 24

Resolution

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Dear Diary,

I didn't get the chance to finish writing what I was writing yesterday now, did I? Well, let's see… my mind is just spinning right now.

So, I went to my room and grabbed the only nice dress that I had and then took it into the bathroom with me. I got cleaned up as quickly as I could, my heart racing at the very thought I was going to actually marry Cid. I don't think I've ever gotten ready so quickly for anything in my life.

Within ten minutes, I was throwing the bathroom door open and running back into my room to get my shoes on. When I stood up from where I had sat on my bed, I spotted Cid leaning in my doorway, smiling at me.

"Goddamn, woman, I didn't think it was possible to get you outta the house in less than an hour," he laughed at me.

I smiled and went to him, grabbing my purse from where it was hanging on my room's doorknob. "Call me motivated."

He nodded and took my hand, leading me to the front door and outside. I instinctively started to head toward the truck, but he pulled me toward the sidewalk instead.

"Cid… you're not well enough to walk there, and surely you don't want…" my voice failed me, and I kept my eyes fixed on the ground.

"I'm better'n I've ever been in my life and I don't care who sees me takin' ya to the courthouse. If they ask? I'm gonna say, 'yeah, that's right, I'm marryin' Shera,'" he said, tightening his grip on my hand. "It ain't that far, anyway."

I couldn't help but laugh and smile, turning my head to look at him. I could appreciate that his color was still ashy from what he had been through and his injuries—at least, that's what I equated it to. "Cid…"

"Hush. Let's just go do this." His eyes fixed forward and his jaw set.

I realized that this was now a mission for him and he wasn't wanting any distractions. He was taking this seriously, or perhaps, this was what he had to do to hide his fear. We were, after all, entering unknown territory.

I watched him as we walked the three blocks to the courthouse. He was standing straight, chest forward, head up…

Proud.

This was not a way that I'd seen him going around since before the failed launch all those years ago. With a spark of sadness, I recognized that for the last five years, he had been a man completely lost. Yes, he had carried on his daily routines, he'd carried on with his business, but he hadn't felt like he'd had any real direction in his life. Cid had just been… adrift for the last five years, feeling that fate or destiny had forgotten about him. He had been living as though his purpose was over…

He had been doing little more than just waiting for the remaining years of his life to just run out.

It seems like it wasn't until then, during that walk to the courthouse that he had rediscovered a purpose. Cid had once more started to believe in something, something that he had forgotten on that launch pad ages back.

No one questioned us at all as we walked, hand in hand, together. People stopped, and they certainly stared, but no one said a word. In fact, all we got were a few shocked gasps from some of the busy body women in the town. Females that clearly could not believe that Cid was touching me at all, and surely, they couldn't fathom the fact that we were now going up the stairs to the courthouse together.

We entered, and the old man that was behind the counter lifted his eyes and examined the two of us. "Oh, Captain. Is there some legal matter that you need assistance with?"

Cid laughed. "Just wanna marry my woman here."

The old man's eyes went wide. "Captain?"

"This is where people go to take care of this shit ain't it?" he shot back, letting go of my hand and crossing his arms across his chest.

"Why, yes, it is, Captain, I just… well, no one thought that you and Ms. Sakamoto were… involved like that." He turned and began to riffle through a file cabinet to his left.

"We weren't." That was all Cid said in return.

That seemed to satisfy the clerk and he set a few forms on the counter before us. "You need to fill those out and I'll need to make copies of your ID's. Marriage license is forty gil, and then we can do a civil ceremony afterward."

Cid picked up a pen and quickly got to filling out the forms in his tiny printing. After only two or three minutes, he signed the documents with his illegible signature and then handed me the pen as well. "Your turn."

I took it and filled out what I needed to, seeing that Cid had taken the liberty of filling in all my information that he knew off the top of his head, and I have to admit, I was surprised with how much he did know. It wasn't long before I placed my signature on the bottom of the last paper. That done, we handed our identification over to the clerk and he Xeroxed them before handing them back.

Cid forked over the forty gil and the clerk gave us the duplicates of the forms.

The clerk picked up a book from a drawer. "It's a lovely day today, would you like us to do this outside?"

Cid looked over at me. "You game?"

I just nodded.

"Good," the clerk said, coming out from behind the counter and heading for the judge's chambers. He went over to a door and knocked on it, causing the judge to emerge. She was handed the book by the clerk and then approached Cid and I.

"Good morning, Captain," she said, straightening her black robe, before looking over at Cid. "Paul told me that you and Ms. Sakamoto here would like to be wed outside?"

Cid nodded. "That's about the long and the short of it."

She didn't seem shocked at all and headed for the door. "Well then, let's go."

We all went outside; Cid, the judge, the clerk, and I. She remained at the top of the stairs, and motioned for Cid and I to take our place just a step below. The clerk stood just a short distance off, acting as our witness.

The judge opened up her book. "We are here to unite Captain Cid Augustus Highwind, Junior, and Shera Sierra Sakamoto in the bonds of matrimony. It is not an institution to be entered into lightly. Captain Highwind, repeat after me; I, Captain Cid Highwind, take you, Shera Sakamoto, to be my lawfully wedded wife, 'til death do us part."

He cleared his throat and seemed to go rigid. "I…I, Captain Cid Highwind, take you, Shera Sakamoto, to b…be my lawfully w…wedded wife, 'til death do us part."

I couldn't help but smile as his voice cracked and he stumbled upon his words.

The judge then looked at me. "And Shera, repeat after me; I, Shera Sakamoto, take you, Captain Cid Highwind, to be my lawfully wedded husband, 'til death do us part."

My smile lingered as I looked at Cid. "I, Shera Sakamoto, take you, Captain Cid Highwind, to be my lawfully wedded husband, 'til death do us part."

I couldn't believe my eyes at that moment. As I kept my gaze locked with Cid's, I honestly saw a tear break loose and roll down his cheek.

The judge moved right along. "Captain, do you have a ring for Shera?"

To my surprise, he reached right into his pocket and pulled out a gold band with a single diamond on it. When he had gotten that, I don't know, but it meant that he had planned this at least somewhat.

"Place it onto her left hand and say, with this ring, I thee wed," the judge said.

I could appreciate as he took up my hand, that he was shaking noticeably. He slipped the ring onto my finger, and quietly, he repeated, "With this ring… I thee wed."

That's when my own tears finally broke loose, but I tired to keep my composure as best I could.

The judge looked at me. "Shera, do you have a ring?"

Cid laughed quietly to himself and reached into his pocket once more, then handing over a plain gold band to me. I shook my head as I took it.

"Place it onto the captain's left hand and say, with this ring, I thee wed," she said to me.

Despite my own shaking, I was able to get that band onto his finger, and with a damn dryness in my throat, I recited the oath. "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Then by the power vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife. Captain Highwind, you may kiss your bride." With that, the judge closed her book.

Cid looked down into my eyes, another tear upon his cheek before he pulled me in close and kissed me deeply.

We both jumped as a cheer went up behind us, as several spectators had gathered. Turning, we faced the crowd, surprised to see that there were close to thirty people there.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present to you, the new Captain and Mrs. Highwind," the judge said behind us.

Those amassed applauded and Cid descended the steps, keeping a hold of my hand. We made our way through the audience, accepting our congratulations from them. People seemed pleased on some level. Then again, very little ever happened in Rocket and any event was an…event.

Soon, Cid led me away from them and back toward the house. As we walked, I couldn't help but ask him. "When did you get the rings?"

He laughed to himself and dropped his gaze to the ground. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

I looked over at him. "Try me."

He stopped and faced me as we stood on the lawn in front of the house. "I bought them the morning of the launch."

My eyes went wide.

"Yeah… I know… I don't know what in the Hell I was thinkin' at the time, either. I just… You'd left that little silver ring that you used to wear all the time on your desk in the engineering department and I took it, got that ring your wearin' now in the same size and got one for myself, too." His cheeks turned red.

I was speechless, utterly and completely speechless.

Cid shrugged it off and pulled me toward the house again. "C'mon, let's get inside."

I went with him and shrieked when he picked me up, despite his injuries, and carried me into the house. "Cid! Put me down! You're in no sha—"

He silenced my protest with a kiss.

One hell of a kiss.

A kiss so deep, that I didn't notice us get into the house, nor was I aware that we had gotten all the way into the bedroom until I found myself being placed down onto the bed gently. He pulled away from me, sitting next to me on the bed.

There was something in the way he was looking at me that I had never seen before and I felt my blood pressure spike. "Cid…"

"Wait just a second, okay?" he said with a smile, before getting up and walking out of the room.

I remained where I had been placed on the edge of the bed, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. Staying put, I heard him walk down the hall and then out the door to the house. Several minutes later, he came back into the house, went into the kitchen and I heard some glasses being pulled from the cupboard. When he finally returned to the bedroom, he was holding a bottle of champagne in one hand, and two glasses in the other.

"Had this bottle on that ship. It was in the captain's quarters and I never opened it, figurin' that I'd save it for when I got home. 'Course, I didn't think I was gonna be quite so fucked up when I got home, but now seems as good a time as any to have it, dontcha think?" he said, coming over and setting the glasses on the nightstand.

Never having had champagne more than twice in my life, I had to admit that it didn't seem like a bad idea in the least. I folded my hands on my lap and nodded. "It sounds lovely."

Cid sat beside me and wedged the bottle between his knees, getting to the task of pulling out the cork. I couldn't help but notice that he winced in pain as he moved, but knowing that he would be too proud to ask for help, I remained silent.

The cork let go with a 'pop', but he didn't lose his grip on it and tossed the cork onto the floor. Reaching over, he filled to two glasses, set down the bottle, and then passed me my share.

Cid held up his glass for a moment. "Well, Shera, here's to the pay off, eh?"

I laughed and tapped my glass against his lightly before sipping at it.

Cid, on the other hand, downed his completely in one shot.

"Are you really sure you should be drinking like that with those injuries?" I asked instinctively, as he filled his glass a second time.

He stopped mid pour and brought his eyes over to meet mine. "Holy shit… I damn near just blew this…"

"What?" I was utterly confused.

Setting the bottle down again and making no move to pick up his glass, he huffed. "I don't wanna be drunk right now…"

I took one more sip from my glass before setting it next to his. "Well, you did down that first glass awfully fast…"

He got up and went to the window, looking out for a moment. "Yeah… well, I think one glass is enough. I've got the bug to build another airship after flyin' the ol' Highwind around these last few months."

I just went with the topic change and nodded, turning on the bed to look over at him. "How long has it been since you've designed one?"

"Six years. Since pretty much right before they put me on the space program. But yeah, I'm gonna build another one of them… and you know what?" he asked, pulling the curtains closed and turning to me.

"What's that?" I cocked my head to the side.

"I'm namin' 'er after you when I do." He stepped closer to the bed.

I couldn't hide my blush, even though the room was darker now. "Oh, Cid… that's very sweet…"

"It's the least I can do for ya…" Cid stood there for a moment and then took off his uniform's dress coat and tossed it over onto the chair in the corner.

"You promised me you'd teach me to fly, too," I laughed back, admiring him since I knew it would be a long time before I ever saw him dressed up again.

His expression suddenly turned deadly serious. Reaching to his neck, he pulled off the ascot that had been around his collar and then unbuttoned his cuffs. "Are you ready to learn now?"

Suddenly, the exact connotation that he'd meant when he'd said that before hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt my cheeks burn. "I…"

Cid's eyes didn't leave mine as he knelt down and untied his dress boots, then straightening up again and getting them off. That done, he sat on the edge of the bed next to me and leaned close, pulling my glasses from my face and setting them on the nightstand. "You tell me when you are, and I'll show ya, Shera… I'll…"

I felt my body begin to shake, and I noticed that his breathing had picked up, too. With my hand trembling, I reached up and touched the side of his face. "Cid… I am…"

He growled deep in his throat and placed a hand on the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss, crossing over instantly and invading my mouth. I was completely unsure of what to do in that moment and I just submitted to the kiss, feeling his free hand grazing up and down my left arm.

A few moments later, and I felt both his hands leave me, though his lips remained against mine a bit longer. When he pulled away, I opened my eyes to see that he was unbuttoning his shirt, but his gaze was fixed on me still.

In short order, he pulled his shirt off, and tossed it to the floor. I gasped slightly to see that yes, as I had suspected, he had ripped all of his bandages off, leaving his injuries plain to see.

"It's all right, Shera… I'm okay, I really am, all right?" he said, reassuringly, knowing what my reaction had meant.

"I just…"

He reached up and placed a finger against my lips, silencing me. "I've waited all my adult life for this moment, Shera. I ain't gonna let a few little wounds keep me from bein' with ya."

I nodded slightly, knowing that arguing that was not an option, and, to be quite honest…

I don't think I could have waited any longer, either. I was burning inside like I had never known.

Still trembling badly, I bent down and slipped my shoes off, letting them remain at the bedside. When I sat back up, Cid instantly kissed me, and I felt his hands go around me, finding the zipper on the back of my dress. I couldn't suppress the nervous shiver that ran though me as I felt that zipper slowly parted down my back. I sighed against the kiss when I felt his hands upon my back for a moment, before he moved to pull my dress down my arms and body.

I kept my eyes closed, instantly shy and as I pulled my arms out of my dress, I instinctively crossed them over my chest.

"Shera…" he said, his voice barely audible.

I opened one of my eyes, feeling his hand beneath my chin. "Yeah?"

He wasn't looking at anything other than my eyes. "Would… would ya be more comfortable if we waited until tonight when it was completely dark?"

I saw the disappointment in his eyes as he said that, but it caught my notice that he was willing to make sure that I was comfortable with the situation. Feeling that I needed to give him some sort of sign that I didn't want to wait, I reached behind my back and undid my bra, then pulling it away and sending it to the floor. "I wouldn't want you to wait…"

There was a hitch in his breathing as I did that, but he still just looked into my eyes before kissing me again. This kiss held more desperation and as his left hand moved between us, I groaned quietly as he touched what was now given to him.

Seeing that I was definitely having an effect on him, I decided that I should show him some initiative. I placed my hand on his leg and let it slide up slowly, noticing how his breathing got quicker as I did so. I let my hand find its way to his belt and I got to the task, although be it a little awkwardly, of getting it undone.

I wanted him so badly… I couldn't believe the way my body was screaming.

It literally ached. I'd never thought such a feeling was possible.

I was compelled to get up quickly and let my dress fall to the floor, leaving me in just my underwear. I placed a hand against Cid's shoulder as I did this, feeling so dizzied with my emotions, dare I even say lust, that I feared I would fall otherwise.

He stood up as well, pulling me against him for another kiss, his lower body pressed firmly against me.

Despite the fact he was still in his uniform trousers, I could feel instantly that there was no "massive equipment failure" on his part. No, his body seemed agreeable to what was taking place.

I caught my breath again as I felt him take a hold of the waist of my underwear and begin to pull downward. Being that it was my best satin pair, they moved easily and soon, they dropped away and I was left completely exposed to him.

I opened my eyes as he stepped back, once more appreciating that his eyes remained locked with mine. He wasn't examining me physically, he seemed more concerned with watching for any hidden signals from my expression.

His hands got to the task of undoing his pants, and soon he was stepping out of both those and his boxers.

The two of us stood there for a moment, now honestly there for each other's approval. I watched as Cid closed his eyes and knit his brow slightly.

I knew he wanted me to just go ahead and have a look at him, and so, feeling even more of a blush creep across my face and chest, I lowered my eyes and had my first look.

I've known for a long time that his chest was well muscled, and even though he was marred with injuries, it was still as remarkable as ever. His abdominal muscles have always been irresistible to me, and I couldn't help but reach out and trace a line down the center of them as my eyes continued lower. I let my hand fall away and held my breath as I looked…

Yes, I've seen naked men before in movies and such, but nothing had quite prepared me for the real deal. I had constructed in my mind, naturally, what I figured he would be like, but my expectations of Cid's visage had fallen short of the reality.

If what I had seen before, as I had mentioned in movies and such, was average, then he was definitely above that average, and clearly, he was as ready as he could be.

I don't know how long I had been looking at him, but he broke the moment. "Shera?"

I brought my gaze back up and met his blue eyes, somewhat ashamed. "Cid?"

There was a question in his expression, although he didn't seem to have the ability to vocalize it.

"You're absolutely amazing," I whispered to him, moving slowly to sit on the edge of the bed.

A grateful smirk passed his lips and he sat beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder. He kissed me once more, this time, pushing me back as he did so. I complied and soon felt him move onto the bed properly, lying beside me. We continued to kiss for a long time, still seemingly somewhat afraid to make our next advances.

After a while, I shivered again. Cid moved away for a moment and pulled the sheets up and over us. That seemed to make both of us feel a little better about the situation, and soon, I felt his hand upon my stomach, creeping slowly lower.

At that first contact, when it was made just a few seconds later, my whole body tensed in anticipation, but his hand remained steady and I knew that he was just testing me. I reached to him as well, daring to touch what I never had before, earning a pleased growl from him in response.

He moved from my lips and to my ear after a time, whispering. "Shera… are ya… ready?"

I kept my eyes closed and nodded the slightest bit. "Yes…"

"I love you, don't you ever forget that…" Cid said quietly, as he moved from beside me, to press down onto me.

"I love you too, Cid… so much…" I gasped back, feeling that he was starting his advance, a cry burning in my throat suddenly at the new sensation.

"Goddamn…" he growled out, before covering my mouth with his own again.

I had always feared that there would be pain the first time I made love, but it wasn't the case. It was as though my body was so absolutely ready for Cid that everything proceeded in perfection. There was no pain at all, just a wonderful completeness within me. We were joined, everything as it should be… everything as it should have been so long ago, but worth the wait.

Cid moved in steady waves upon me, causing my long-suffering passion for him to come to complete fruition. I gasped for breath and cried out, feeling as though I was dying some absolutely wonderful death. A shock ran through my body, and I pushed back my head into the pillow, my eyes closed. I peaked, begging him, pleading with him, to keep going and see me through.

As I let go, his body responded to mine in its natural way, and he pushed himself up with his arms for his last few drives. Even though my climax was passing, I cried out again to feel him coming upon his own, feeling him within me. He threw back his head and cried out my name as I was given everything he had.

It was the most perfect moment there has ever been in my life.

With us both sated, he kissed me again, conducting me back to the earth as an utter feeling of peace came over us. Our first union over, he moved to lie beside me, keeping me close. In light of his physical state, I knew that he would need to rest, and I laid there silently as he slept, eventually drifting off as well.

Things have worked out as they were meant to between he and I. Things weren't always easy, in fact, they were harder, at times, than I ever would have imagined. Having stayed through it, though, I have been rewarded on levels I never would have dreamed of.

I've had this diary since I was a child and just now, fittingly, have I gotten to the last page within it. It's appropriate, though, because from here on out it will be a new book in my life, so it is with a tearfully happy heart that I write in this one for the last time.

-Shera Sierra Highwind

The End

(A/N- Well, there it is. The end to yet another story. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. There are a lot of things in this one, as with most of my stories that are biographical.

What I hope you all take away from this is the knowledge that love… real love, when you find it, isn't always an easy thing. When you find the one, though, the honest to God one that's meant to be in your life, not only will you look back and realize that it was them from the beginning, but even the roughest things with them will always work out. People these days are in such a rush to find "love" that they never really give it a chance to get past infatuation before they label it as love true. This means that often times, when that infatuation fades, they're left with nothing tangible. Real love comes after infatuation burns out, though. It is not an instant thing, but one that takes months, sometimes years, to really develop.

I hope that every one of you has the chance in your life to find that real love. Never give up on it, and remember, it isn't something you can force, or even anticipate. It will find you when you least expect it, it will leave your head spinning, it will make time go by so quickly that ten years down the road, you may find yourself still sitting next to that one person wondering where the days all went.

…and even though it went that fast, you may just end up wondering what took you so long in the first place to end up with that person to begin with.

This is dedicated to the man that I knew for years before we ended up together. To the man who has never been outwardly emotional, but who has never left me feeling unloved. To the man that has never, honestly, angered me in the twelve years since. To the man that I know has probably found me hard to deal with, perhaps even hard to love, but who has loved me none the less. To the man that has taken care of me since I was just a girl, getting out into the world. To the man who stuck with me as I had to mature in a lot of ways, despite himself being four years older and not required by any means to put up with what he did. To the man that put a wedding ring on my finger a decade ago and has never said he regretted it. To the man that gave me my two children, and who goes to work everyday at Vandenberg Air Force Base to work on the control and launch systems for the rockets and missiles that make up our United States Missile Defense Program.

This is for my Captain Cid Highwind, Richard J. Williams.

I love ya, guy.)