"I can not believe you let this happen! You are sixteen years old! You sure as hell can not raise a baby! This will ruin yours and that boy's life! Peyton would agree with me on this Brooke. I can't believe you thought about doing this! God, imagine what would happen if your father's business associates found out! You know how they think a strong family image is important!" Brooke's mom rambled at Brooke as she parked the car.
"Like I fucking care if Peyton would agree." Brooke said under her breath. She was still mad at her because of the incident and she didn't plan on doing anything to change that anytime soon.
Truth be told, she knew her parents were right about this. There was no way that she could raise a baby at 16. But she felt so wrong about getting an abortion. And, even though she was really mad at Lucas, he was a good guy most of the time, except for that stupid cheating crap. Plus, she still loved him. She couldn't just turn those feelings off.
When her mom burst into her room the other night, Brooke's ultrasound in hand, screaming that she wasn't going to do this to her, she was going to get an abortion, she shouted back no. She didn't even think about it. She knew she didn't want an abortion and that she was going to have a baby and raise it better than her parents 'raised' her. But her mom didn't want to hear any of it. Asked her if 'that boy' knew and all she could do was nod. So, she told Brooke to making something up so he'd think there was no baby and they'd take care of it tomorrow.
So that night, she told Lucas she lied. That she wasn't pregnant. And then there she was. Lying on that table in that cold room, waiting for the doctor come in and vaccum out her child. And then, that night, she lied on her bed in her room, where only the night before she had laid there pregnant. Now, she laid there, empty. Alone, again.
"Brooke." Jake said shaking Brooke gently. "Brooke wake up."
"What? What's wrong? Is it Wyatt?" Brooke answered immediately in mother mode.
"Brooke you were crying in your sleep." Jake said softly. "Again."
This shocks Brooke. Not because she doesn't think that she would cry in her sleep but because she hadn't realized it when she woke up. How her voice had cracked and she had sniffled a bit. She put her hand up to her cheek to feel how wet it was, making sure that it was true.
"What do you mean again?" Brooke asked. She had woke up to herself crying before but she thought nobody had ever heard her.
"Brooke, we hear it." He said quietly., his head down. "And it kills her not to come in here and comfort you."
Brooke knows who he is talking about. Her best friend. The one who has comforted her before.
"Why doesn't she come in?" Brooke asks. This whole We-can-really-hear-you-cry-yourself-to-sleep thing fascinating her slightly.
"Because I know it wont help. I know that sometimes you just need to cry. Let it all out. But I know it kills her Brooke. To just lie there and listen to you crying knowing that she can't take the hurt away. She wants to make it all better for the one person who made her feel better when her mom died, or when I left her." Jake said, quietly, looking Brooke straight in the eye.
Brooke just sat there. Taking it all in. Not realizing how her hurting was effecting people she loved.
"Why come in tonight? Why you?" Brooke asked quietly, using the sheet to dry her cheeks.
"You were crying really hard tonight Brooke. I made Peyton wait an hour before I would let her come in here. But, 30 minutes later she couldn't take it. And she started crying, saying this time it was different. That you really needed her this time. So, I came in here to check on you, leaving her to calm down a bit. Knowing that it'd just hurt her even more to actually see you crying." Jake said looking back at the door when he finished speaking.
Brooke couldn't believe this. Peyton didn't cry. She hadn't seen her cry since the night she ended up on her door step, almost in tears herself. Peyton only cried if she felt completely and utterly helpless.
"You okay?" Jake asked after a few moments passed.
"Yeah." Brooke nods. "Tell Peyton I'm fine and we'll talk in the morning." Brooke said with a small smile.
With a smile Jake leaves, closing the door behind him.
Brooke wakes up the next morning and looks over at her clock.
It's noon.
"Jesus!" Brooke shouts as she jumps out of bed and runs into Wyatt's room.
Her mind was racing. She hadn't heard Wyatt since she had checked on him at 4. She runs over and looks in his crib but instead of finding her son, she finds a note
Calm down. Wyatt is fine. Everything is fine. Jake and Nathan are playing ball and Haley and I took Jenny and Wyatt to the park. You were finally sleeping better and you haven't had time to yourself in a while. Be back around 1 with lunch. Relax! And enjoy your time alone! Call if you need ANYTHING!
-Peyton
Brooke calms down and even chuckles to herself a little. It's funny how she needed to be told to relax now. 3 years ago Brooke did anything and everything for her, which usually entailed shopping, which relaxed her. Now, relax was a foreign concept to her. Brooke sighs and walks into the living room debating on what to do next.
She turns around, deciding to take a quick shower before doing anything. She gets into the shower and begins washing herself but then stops and looks at her thigh.
Most of the scars have faded except one. The deepest one. The one that hurt the most and brought back too many hurtful memories that she hated Lucas when she had done it. That scar was always going to be there. Always remind her of what she has done. How selfish she was. Thinking always about her hurt instead of putting all her focus in her son. Wrapping herself in her issues instead of focussing on being a mom. One better than her own. The way Lucas would have wanted it. And she knew that in the summer she would have to explain it, but that was a bit off, she'd deal with that then. Until then no one would know that she hurt herself so badly.
When she was done with her shower she went out into the living room and turned on the tv. Of course nothing is on so she settled on an informercial and then let her eyes roam the entertainment center.
All the pictures of Peyton and Jake and Jenny. Her and Wyatt. All of them together. Nathan and Haley. One of Deb and Karen. And of course, the one of her and Lucas. The picture she loves so much because they weren't looking at the camera, they were looking at each other.
Brooke sighs and looks over the books, but then stops when she sees the big box at the bottom. She gets up and slides it out from its place. She opens it and its filled with photo albums and loose pictures. She takes the first one out and opens it.
It's Peyton's. Pictures of her Larry, and Anna. Brooke turns a couple of pages and there are a few with Brooke in them. One of all of them. Peyton, Larry, Anna, and Brooke. All of them in front of Peyton's grandma's cabin, in the snow. Anna had made sure that Brooke came, not wanting her to be alone the day after Christmas. It was during second grade. The last Christmas they ever spent with her.
"Brooke, Peyton. Breakfast is ready." Anna said softly, rubbing the girls backs to wake them up.
The girls got out of bed, slid on their slippers and walked downstairs, Anna following. They went into the kitchen and hoisted themselves up on the bar stools in front of the island.
"Pancakes?" Peyton asked excitedly.
"With chocolate chips?" Brooke chimed.
"Of course." Anna said with a smile, putting plates in front of the girls. "When you girls are done go get dressed in your snow suits. We're going sledding today!"
"Yay!"
The rest of the day was spent outside, just having fun in the snow.
Brooke smiles sadly as she turns a few more pages, Anna gone from all the pictures.
She set that album aside, picking the next one up. It's from high school.
She looks through it, smiling. Her and Peyton mostly. A couple of pictures from parties. A picture of Peyton and her in their cheerleading uniforms from when they first joined the squad.
"Things were much simpler then." Peyton said as she leaned against the door frame, Jenny running past her into the living room and plopping herself down on the couch.
Brooke turns around, surprised at how quickly she lost track of the time.
"Hey. I didn't realize how late it was."
"Did you enjoy your day off?" Peyton asked, joining Brooke on the floor.
"I guess considering I slept through most of it." Brooke laughs.
"I'm just glad you were actually sleeping, and just sleeping." Peyton said with a smile.
"Me too." Brooke sighed. "Peyton, I had no idea that-"
"It's okay Brooke." Peyton said, cutting Brooke off.
"But I don't think you do. I had no idea that me hurting was hurting you."
"What do you expect Brooke? You have always been my best friend, even at times when I didn't deserve you. And I've always been and always will be here for you. I can't stand to hear you cry Brooke. But what hurts even more is that I know I can't do anything to make that hurt go away."
"I never, ever wanted you to feel like that Peyton. I hoped that you never would. It's how I felt when your mom died. I would hear you sobbing in your room with the door locked and I knew that I couldn't do a thing. It's a horrible feeling and I wish I wasn't causing it."
"But then I got better. And so will you." Peyton said pulling Brooke in for a side hug.
"Thanks P. Sawyer."
"Anytime B. Davis."
"Momma!" Wyatt yelled as he runs to Brooke. "Toy!" he says, holding up a small happy meal toy fro Brooke to see.
"Wow! That's cool huh? Aunt Haley and Aunt Peyton get you McDonald's?" Brooke said pulling her son close.
Haley comes in to the living room, tons of bags in her hands.
"I thought you guys went to the park?" Brooke asked.
"Well, we did then we went to Toys R Us. Nathan and I don't get to see Jenny often and we need to start spoiling our perfect nephew now!" Haley said with a laugh.
As Haley sets down the bags, the doorbell rings. Brooke starts to get up but Haley motions for her to sit down. "I'll get it."
"Who could that be?" Peyton wonders aloud as she brings one of the bags over to Brooke and Wyatt. Brooke just shrugs, looking through the bag.
"Wow! Did Aunt Haley get you a basketball?" Brooke asked taking a small basketball out of the bag.
"Yeah!" Wyatt said as he dropped the happy meal toy, and grabbed the basketball from Brooke.
"Definatly got that Scott gene didn't he?" Peyton said smiling at Wyatt.
"Oh yeah." Brooke said quietly as she watched Wyatt try and dribble the ball on the carpet.
"Um, Brooke?" Haley asked as she stood in the doorway.
"Haley? Who was at the door?"
"It's your parents."