Chapter 18 – December 18, 2006

Lindsay awoke the next morning to a pounding on her door. Confused and disoriented she opened her eyes, snuggling down into her warm covers. The clock on her night stand read 10:11am. She groaned and rolled over, closing her eyes again, but the pounding wouldn't go away. Then her brain caught up and she bolted upright.

"Coming!" she yelled, grabbing her robe off of the end of her bed and racing to the door in bare feet. She yanked it open to a slightly concerned looking Danny. "Hey."

"What happened? I've been knockin' for ten minutes."

She blushed, pulling her robe tighter around her body. "You woke me up," she explained.

He looked confused. "We did agree on 10, right?"

"We did," she assured him, pulling open her door wider and stepping out of the way so he could come in. "I didn't hear my alarm?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, then took in the room.

"You've got a lotta decorations, Montana."

"This isn't all of them, just a couple of garlands my parents let me bring and all of my ornaments."

He shifted through her box of Christmas balls and other odd ornaments. "You always put your odd stuff up with the other stuff?"

"Those have sentimental value," she answered.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"That was another Christmas tradition," she explained. "My brothers and I got a new ornament to put on the tree each year."

"So there's one here for every year? Even when you were a kid?"

"From the day we were born. Make yourself comfortable," she suggested. "I'm going to hop in the shower, okay?"

"You had breakfast?" he asked, calling down the hall while she prepared for her shower.

"I just woke up, Dan, what do you think?" she called back, with a laugh in her voice.

"I'll go find some. Try not to zone out in the shower, fair?"

He heard her laugh outright. "Sounds good. Thanks."

Something smelled delicious when she opened the door to her bedroom, dressed in comfortable, but fitting sweatpants and a long sleeved sweater. Her mouth started watering from the delicious smell and Lindsay followed it to the kitchen. Danny had raided her cupboards for pans, bowls and plates. She rested against the doorway, watching him move around the stove and nearby ingredients.

"Something smells awesome," she spoke up finally.

He turned to face her for a second, taking in her comfortable clothing. "Welcome back to the land of the living. I thought you promised you wouldn't zone out in the shower."

Lindsay blushed. "I didn't mean to."

"What made you get out then?" he asked, though he had an idea.

Her blush intensified. "Ran out of hot water."

He laughed. "Breakfast's almost ready, and I picked somethin' up for ya."

"For me?" she asked, intrigued. "Why?"

"I can't do it just because?" he asked, pulling a plate of perfectly made French toast, out of the oven.

Just as she thought she'd had her blushing under control he went and made her do it again. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to," he responded, waving with an oven-mitted hand at the already set table and the small wrapped package on her plate.

"You wrapped it to?"

"Somethin' like that, yeah." He'd wondered about picking it up and wrapping it but had eventually decided that since it was one of her traditions – and from what Stella had not so subtly told him about Lindsay working the previous Christmas – he figured it didn't matter.

She slid into her seat, picking up the box and shaking it gently.

"It's not fragile, Montana."

She grinned. "I always shake my presents," she answered. Then she carefully untied the bow on top, unwrapping the ribbon and letting it flutter to the floor.

"Please tell me you're gonna rip the paper," Danny said. "Breakfast ain't gonna stay warm forever."

"So dig in," she returned. "I'll open this at my own pace, thank you very much."

He smiled, something in his heart enjoying the way she fought back and didn't let me walk all over her. He also knew better than to argue with her and piled food on his plate. The next time he looked up, she'd opened the box and was staring at the contents with a soft, affectionate smile. "What is it?"

She lifted the gift from it's cotton by the gold thread it was strung on. "Santa Tigger," she said.

"Figured it represented Christmas, and Tigger's a tiger," he said with a shrug.

Tears welled in the sides of her eyes when the significance set in. "Danny…" She had no clue what to say.

"Like it?" Theoretically, it was a rhetorical question. He'd determined the difference between her happy tears and her sad tears and had since determined that these tears were happy tears.

"I love it, Danny," she said softly.

"Good. We'll add it to the tree when we decorate. For now, tuck in."

They joked around for a few minutes while they ate until Lindsay went serious again. "You know, you've done a lot for me in the last month."

Danny shrugged. "It's not a big deal, Montana."

She shook her head. "It is a big deal, Danny. No one else has ever done anything like this, not even in Montana."

"I just want you to have a good holiday," he said.

She huffed. "Can you stop shrugging this off and listen?"

"I am listening."

"But you're not hearing," she accused.

He stuffed his last bite in his mouth, setting his fork beside his knife on his plate and folding his arms over the edge o the table "All right, you have my undivided attention."

"This, everything you've done, the CD, the tree, the pageant… I haven't had this active of a holiday since I became a CSI."

"Not even in Montana?"

"I came home for Christmas, but I'd inevitably work through something. This… I haven't had a moment of down time since December started and usually, I'd be upset about it. But I'm not. I'm loving it, Danny, all of it. And I've thought about it and thought about it, but I can't seem to remember the reason why I told you we couldn't… that it wouldn't work between us."

Danny shrugged. "You wanted time, Linds, and I gave it to you, I just got frustrated and antsy."

She laughed. "Yes, you did. I'm glad you did."

"So outline it for me Monroe. What are you sayin'?"

She took a deep breath. "I was wrong, Danny. We… we've proven that we could make this work. We've spent every night together and… I can't remember why I said no. You've been here with me and I haven't given you a single reason to…"

"Hey, hey, hey, don't go puttin' yourself down like that. You've given me more than enough reasons to stick around and keep tryin'."

"Like what?" she scoffed incredulously.

"Where do you want me to start? You're damn smart, Montana, and you don't back down and so shoot me but that's a turn on," he said passionately. "You're beautiful and passionate and you do your job like there's nothin' else you'd rather do."

Then he took a deep breath. He wasn't sure if she was going to cry or slap him for the next part. "You try and hide behind some sort of mask that you think proves you're just as good as the rest of us – don't get me wrong, you are just as good, if not better than the rest of us and you're damned strong – and you want to seem like you're unbreakable, that nothin' gets to you because you've been born and bred that objectivity is the Golden Rule.

"You told me in the hall that there was stuff you had to work through and there's nothin' I want more than to help you with that in whatever way you want me to. You keep turnin' down help and companionship an' you're gonna find yourself with friends but no best friends."

Tears were running rivers down her cheeks and she let them go unchecked. "I don't want your companionship," she whispered hoarsely.

Danny was taken aback. "What?"

"I don't want your companionship," she said, louder this time and with conviction and resolve though her eyes were fixed on her lap.

He was royally confused. "Okay…"

She was shaking his head before the word was even finished. "From day one, you've been a royal pain in my behind, Danny Messer, but God damnit I can't just have your companionship."

"Lindsay…"

"I need more."

Now she had his complete, undivided and uninterrupted attention.

"I need the whole thing, the dates, the flowers, the romance…. Everything. I want to be able to have you over because I want to and not just as a friend. I want to keep forgetting why I turned you down in the hallway. I want to know that I'm special." She held up a hand when he opened his mouth, inevitably to tell her that she was special.

"I want the relationship you proposed," she said quietly. "And I want it with you."

Danny closed his eyes as the news sunk in. He couldn't remember how long he'd been waiting for her to say that and he felt the proverbial weight lift off of his shoulders. But he didn't delude himself. He knew that she'd made a huge leap in finally deciding she wanted to see where a relationship between them would go but that didn't necessarily mean she was going to start spilling her guts. "Okay."

"What?" Lindsay asked.

A grin stretched over his face at her surprise and as the thought of a relationship set in. "Okay."

"That's it?"

"Did you expect it to be more complicated?" he teased.

"Actually, yes," she said.

He laughed and stood, holding out a hand for her. "Come on, Montana. I'll dry if you wash."

Lindsay sat curled against Danny on her couch later that night simply staring at the tree they'd decorated instead of the Christmas special Danny was paying attention to on the television. She hadn't stopped smiling since they'd finished. The tree looked… well, interesting with her traditional coloured balls and her mix and match yearly ornaments. Still, it was theirs, and they'd decorated it together. The one thing Lindsay could remember above all else was the way he'd wrapped his arms around her as she hung the Tigger ornament he'd given her.

"Penny for your thoughts," he murmured.

She met his gaze, her smile still plastered on her mouth. "I'd think they cost more than just a penny," she quipped in response.

"I'd give you more…"

"Just thinking."

He chuckled. "I caught that much. What about?"

"How much I am loving this Christmas," she said honestly. "And how much I love our tree."

Danny shuddered inwardly at the truth of the balsam being 'their' tree but chuckled. "It's unique, isn't it?"

"I'm going to go with special," she answered, snuggling if possible even closer.

He looked down at her, snuggled so tightly against his side. He'd realized that morning, on his trek to find breakfast and a new ornament, that there was very little he would not do for her. There was literally, he realized, next to nothing he would not do if it would make her happy. Instead of being creeped out and scared by the notion, he found himself absolutely content with the idea. He wanted to make her happy, wanted to wipe out the past that she was so terrified of.

And it was going to start right now.