Chapter XVI

After successfully helping the Red Army Special Forces defeat the Blue soldiers, Red Squad entered their Base of Operations. After the Chief had finished telling his squad's tale, Commander Schreiber told his . . .

"It started five days ago," Schreiber began. "The Office of Red Intelligence told us that they had picked up Blue transmissions coming from this area. Red Command had authorized a test of a secret weapons project code named 'Rhinoceros' which was supposed to be sent in to find and eliminate the source of the transmission. We aren't sure what it was or what it was supposed to do, but they lost contact with it so they sent us in to find out what happened. We searched a small urban area and found a downed Blue Bug Walker. I'm not sure what took it down, but Intel suggests that only one unit was involved."

"Only one?" the Chief had heard stories of a lone Bug Walker destroying entire regiments of Red soldiers. He then realized he had interrupted, but caught himself too late. The Commander just grinned.

"That's right, just one. Now, if you managed to get on top of one of those Bugs, you could, theoretically, take out the pilots and the guards and activate the self destruct sequence. And, even though that's the only way anyone thinks a Bug can be taken down, there were so signs of internal damage and all the Blues inside were killed when the thing fell. There was, however, a deep gash in the hydraulic systems of the two front legs. Something had cut through them, and it wasn't plasma. It was metal. Someone, or something, cut a foot into the indestructible hydraulic pipes with a metal blade of unknown origin."

Nobody spoke for several seconds, pondering the kind of brute force a single being needed to do such a thing. The Commander cleared his throat.

"Anyway, after we found the Bug, we moved on to other areas, searching for clues as to where this Rhinoceros project went to when we arrived here. We were informed that the ORI had pinpointed its signal to our location, and it was only minutes after that when we were ambushed. Two Blues with rocket launchers came out from behind a corner and fired at us point blank. I was at the rear, looking at something that Private Gonzalez had found when we heard the explosion. The Blues had killed themselves and nine of my men. Privates Davis, Jenkins and Wallace were wounded. The rest of us had been pinned down for an hour when you guys showed up."

"And it's lucky that we showed up when we did," Doc said. All eyes turned to him. "Those three were in critical condition when I got to them. If we had gotten here just a minute later, I don't think all of them would have made it."

The Commander nodded his head. "For that, you have our utmost gratitude." He turned back to the Chief. "So, you were looking for two Blue soldiers that escaped Blood Gulch?"

"That's correct. They escaped and were last sighted in this area before they left for an unknown destination. We are trying to find them to interrogate them because they were the last ones to be in contact with O'Malley before he took Sarge."

"Were these Blues good fighters?"

"Well, to quote Private Grif, 'they sucked so much ass that the only thing they could do was talk shit'."

The remark made the two women of the Special Forces giggle and look at Grif, who was grinning.

"I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true, Chief," Grif said. Nods and murmurs of approval from Donut and Simmons backed up his statement.

"I believe you. So far, that Tex thing was the only threat the Blues have thrown at us. And it wasn't even Blue."

"Ah HA!" Andy shouted from his spot on a table. "So you agree with me that she isn't a chick!"

"No, I'm implying that she isn't human. Whatever Tex is, it has a female persona. Sorry Andy, you're still alone on that one."

"Damnit."

"I can assemble my troops to go look for these Blues," the Commander offered.

"They can pair up with my squad and get to know each other," the Chief said. Schreiber smiled.

"Sounds good to me," he said.

The Chief turned to his squad while Schreiber turned to his men and women.

"Grif, you get up on that catwalk and survey the area. If they're here, I don't want them creeping around trying to evade the search parties."

"You got it," Grif said. He began to walk to the ramp when one of the ladies that had laughed at his joke walked up to him.

"I'm Private Weller," she said. "I'm your spotter."

"Thanks anyway, but I don't lift. I'm not much of a gym person."

Weller giggled and the two began their ascent to the highest completed catwalk.

-

"Simmons," the Chief said. "You patrol the area around this building."

"Yes sir."

Simmons walked to the door where a man with a large scar on his face waited.

"The name's Richards. How's it going?" he asked.

"Pretty good, my name's Simmons. How about yourself?"

"Eh, I've been better. That Master Chief of yours is one pretty awesome guy."

"Yeah, he is." Simmons smiled as he thought about how positive the Chief was, while being a strict disciplinarian at the same time. Very unlike Sarge had been. Simmons felt a pang of guilt at the thought of the negative aspects of Sarge. The man had been like a father to him, but there were more benefits to having the Chief around. Simmons felt a tear form in his eye and quickly put his helmet on. Richards noticed and also donned his helmet. As they walked outside the base, Richards put a hand on Simmons' shoulder.

"Listen, I heard about your Sergeant, and I guess you feel pretty bad about it."

"Yeah . . . I do."

A few seconds of silence passed as they started their patrol. Richards tapped his fingers together.

"Want to talk about it?"

-

"Donut, you patrol the building on the other side of our Base of Operations."

"Okey dokey, Chief."

Donut walked to the same door Simmons left from and was greeted by the other woman in Schreiber's team. She smiled at Donut, who smiled back.

"Hi, I'm Parker," she said.

"I'm Donut."

"I think that's an awesome name!" Parker said enthusiastically.

"Thanks! The other guys didn't think so at first, but I think it grew on them."

"And I love your pink armor!"

Donut was about to make the usual 'lightish-red' correction, but stopped himself.

"You know what? So do I. At first, I hated it, but I got used to it. You see, my old red armor used to chafe my thighs something awful . . ." Donut continued his story as the two made their way across the construction zone to begin their patrol.

-

The Master Chief was glad that he was picking the right people to go with Schreiber's troops.

"Caboose, I need you to patrol the small section of the road that the tank is on and the hallways near it."

"Yes sir, Chester Sleeve, sir," Caboose said.

"Caboose, its Master Chief."

Caboose either didn't hear him or thought he was talking to someone else because he went to meet his patrol partner.

"The name's Bond," he said. "Nice to meet you."

"My name is Caboose, and it is nice to- oh look! A wall!"

Bond laughed and steered Caboose away from the wall.

"So, you like walls?"

"Who are you?"

Bond laughed again as the two walked out of the base.

-

"Lopez, you patrol around our base," said the Chief.

"Yes sir."

Lopez walked over to another door and was greeted by a man with brown hair and a thin mustache.

"I'm Private Gonzalez."

"I am Lopez, Red Army Service Droid Mark Three."

"You're a droid? Awesome, amigo! I'm a mechanic!"

"Thank God. I was beginning to think I would never find someone who understands me."

"Same here. I've got some questions I'd like to ask you if you don't mind. I've never been able to have a conversation with a droid before."

"And I almost never get the opportunity to talk to people who aren't idiots."

The two left the temporary HQ and went to start their patrol.

The Chief turned to Doc.

"Can you keep tabs on the wounded?"

"You bet. I think I can find some ways to cheer them up. You know what they say; laughter is the greatest medicine!"

"Who says that?"

"Well, if I had to guess, I would say Clowns are the ones who coined the phrase. I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a sick Clown?"

"No, I can't say that I have."

"Well, that settles that. I'll be in the infirmary."

Doc turned and left. Master Chief saw that Lock-jaw and Andy were sitting in a corner, talking about CrunchBite. The Chief felt remorse for the alien; one of his parents was dead and the other was the enemy. Even worse, the living parent had abandoned him. The Chief was glad to see the alien happy in times like these. He turned to Commander Schreiber, who was looking at a map of the immediate area.

"If they aren't here, we should look in this area next.," he pointed to a spot on the map that appeared to be an almost completed section of a settlement. "Some strange activity has been going on lately. Blue forces keep sending distress signals and a tram-car system has been damaged, causing it to travel at top speeds without stopping. I think it has something to do with that Rhino weapon, but we'll just have to wait and see."

"And that's how we got here," Simmons concluded. He had told Richards everything he remembered about the O'Malley ordeal, which had taken a good three hours.

"Now, don't you feel better?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks Richards."

Richards had also explained the more interesting parts of his career to Simmons. Having shared such personal information, both men felt like they had known the other for years. Like brothers. Simmons had made a real friend.

For the last several hours, Grif had been making Weller laugh by talking about his teammates and cracking jokes. Weller was almost in tears from laughing so hard.

"And then, I told him to use his 'jetpack' to fly to the highest ground and he goes 'that's a great idea, Grif' and runs away. He got captured like five minutes later."

Weller was leaning against a wall trying to catch her breath. Grif was kind enough to allow for it without starting another joke. It had been years since Weller laughed so hard, and she was finally remembering why. Her lungs were on fire from lack of proper oxygen intake. She decided it was worth it.

"Ok, so then, there was this time when we were at Sidewinder, and I was stuck in a jail cell with this Blu-"

"Grif!"

"What?"

"If you keep making me laugh like this, you're not going to have a patrol partner."

"Oh, right. Sorry. Anyway, I was stuck in a jail cell with this Blue, see, and we were trying to figure out a way to escape . . ."

Weller sighed and listened to his version of the events at Sidewinder. It was only a matter of seconds before she burst out laughing. It was going to be a very long night.

"And that's how I was voted 'Most Likely to be Fabulous' in high school." Donut concluded.

"Wow that must have been great."

"Yeah, it really was."

He and Parker had been talking about all sorts of things for a while ranging from their childhoods to what their dreams were. Donut was happy to have made such a good friend. It wasn't too often he found someone who shared most of his interests. In fact, he hadn't met anoyone who shared his interests since he shipped out for basic training. Donut then recalled a particularly funny story; the time when Grif was run over by Sheila, and talked about it later into the night.

"So Caboose, what's your take on global warming?" Bond asked.

Caboose had been asked many questions during their patrol, all of which he gave a very unique answer. Bond was fascinated by Caboose's thought process. He found that talking to Caboose was a good way to relieve stress.

"I don't think the government should support it anymore. If the snow globes get too hot, the snow will melt, and when you shake it up, nothing will happen because the snow will turn to water. Then it will just be a water globe."

Bond smiled at the reply. His smile lingered as he thought about how happy Caboose appeared. I guess ignorance really is bliss, he thought.

"From that day on, I decided to always check under my pillow for spiders."

Lopez had just finished telling Gonzalez about how his robot army met their demise at the hands, or whatever passed for hand with arachnids, of blue fuzzy spiders that attached themselves to the robots' heads and exploded. Gonzalez visibly shuddered when he thought about how many spiders he had allowed to live over the years. Each one was a potential threat to humanity.

"I guess I will too."

"Thank you!" Simmons shouted. "Where's Grif, I want to show him that you agree; it's pronounced 'bo-th', not 'bol-th'."

As if summoned by Simmons' declaration, something from Grif's location decided to give him away. A piece of scrap metal fell on Simmons' head, knocking him to the ground.

"Ow! Son of a bitch!" Simmons shouted. He rubbed the back of his helmet and looked up to where the metal had fallen from and decided Grif was up there.

"Grif, you cockbite, why'd you throw this at me?"

"Maybe he didn't throw it."

"What makes you say that?"

"Listen."

They could both hear giggling and squeals of glee coming from where Grif was. Simmons was good at math, so he took Grif, added an attractive, probably stupid, female soldier and came up with the answer: Bow-Chik-A-Bow-Wow. Of course, Simmons didn't know that Grif was simply telling jokes.

"Oh, he's gonna get it," Simmons said, thinking about the punishment the Chief would give him.

"Simmons? I'm afraid he already getting it."

Five minutes after Simmons was hit on the head, the patrols were reporting in. Simmons and Richards were first, followed by Weller and Grif. Simmons stared at Grif with a knowing look in his eyes, but Grif didn't care, as usual. Lopez and Gonzalez came in next, followed by Bond and Caboose. Donut and Parker came in last.

Master Chief and Commander Schreiber looked over all of them.

"It is clearly evident that the Blue soldiers I am looking for are not here. We will move to another location tomorrow to investigate further. Red Squad, you are dismissed. Return to the base."

Everyone from Red Squad turned and said goodbye to their new friends. Simmons squeezed Richards shoulder. Parker hugged Donut. Lopez and Gonzalez shook hands. Grif looked like he was going to launch into another story, but Weller put her finger to where his mouth would be. Bond gave Caboose a pat on the back. Doc said goodnight to his patients. After they were gone, Master Chief turned and saluted Commander Schreiber, who returned the gesture.

"Get some sleep, soldier," he said. "You're gonna need it."

To be Continued