Series: Saiyuki
Title: The Journey's End
Author: cesmith
Betas: Thanks go to both narrizan and Me-Nuriko. Each of them found glaring errors that I had missed. This story is better because of you.
Rating: T Warnings: Character Death, swearing, attempted suicide.
Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters were created by Kazuya Minekura. They belong to her and were used without prior permission. No profit is made through this story.
A/N: This story takes place 50 years after the events in Who I Have Been; I Am Not Now and 10 years before A Death Well Earned.
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Chapter one – An Unexpected Visitor
The sharp rap on the door startled Hakkai, the book he had been reading before he had dozed off dropped from his half numb fingers, making a dull thudding sound as it struck the floor. Wincing at the pain in his back as he bent over to pick it up, he was surprised at the slight tremor in his hands. Yes, he had definitely overdone it earlier that morning. He could almost hear Gojyo's voice admonishing him for using too much of his life force when he healed someone.
A smile graced Hakkai's face at the memory, still so fresh. Nearly fifty years after Gojyo's death, Hakkai could finally remember Gojyo without the overly painful tightening in his chest. Hakkai could even smile at the memories of the antics his two 'young friends' had pulled. At seventy-two Hakkai now thought of them that way, as his young friends. It was funny how age and time healed such painful wounds and changed ones perspective.
Another rap on the door, louder and more insistent, shook Hakkai from his thoughts. Placing the book onto his reading table, Hakkai stood up a little too hastily, his arm quickly grabbing the arm of the chair to brace himself as his knees buckled under his weight. Yes, Gojyo would certainly have admonished him for overusing his ki.
Knowing it was going to take a few minutes to get his legs to cooperate, Hakkai called out, "Who's there?" He expected to hear the plaintiff wail from one of his students needing extra tutoring or the frantic voice of a parent begging him to help heal an injured child. Most of the villagers turned to Hakkai first before seeking out the village's doctor, turning to the doctor only when antibiotics or operations were needed. Hakkai received everyone else, turning no one away.
"Who the hell do you think it would be at this hour?" Even through the door Hakkai could hear the irritation in Sanzo's voice, but Hakkai was uncertain if it was because Sanzo was being made to wait, or at what he considered a stupid question.
'This hour?' Hakkai thought, only then noticing how dark his little house was. Not just a short nap this time he realized. He had been asleep for several hours. Yes, he really could just imagine Gojyo's lecture. The older Hakkai got, the more often Gojyo's voice served as his conscience.
'Shhh,' Hakkai told the voice. 'I'll be more careful next time,' he promised it, knowing this to be a lie.
Cautiously Hakkai made his way across the room using assorted pieces of furniture to maintain his balance. Switching on the ceiling light Hakkai fixed a pleasant smile on his face and swiftly opened the door.
"Hello Sanzo," he said. "I can think of several people besides you who would be knocking on my door at this hour. Please do come in."
"You look like shit," Sanzo said as he stepped inside the small cottage. Sanzo examined Hakkai's gaunt frame. Hakkai was dressed as he usually was. Shortly after the end of their journey Hakkai had traded in his Chinese shirt for a simple stretch shirt and vest. His khakis had been replaced by plain black jeans. In the last few years he had allowed his dark hair, now heavily streaked with white, to grow longer and the bandana had been replaced by a ponytail. Sanzo often wondered if Hakkai had unconsciously started to dress as the cockroach had as a way of still feeling connected to his friend. But Sanzo had never asked. "Not my business," he had told himself. The truth, if he had been honest with himself, and with Hakkai, was that he really didn't want to open painful wounds for Hakkai by bringing the topic up. Besides, he too had missed the idiot and the stupid monkey and talking about them was painful for him too.
"Either you're not eating enough or you overdid a healing today."
Hakkai chuckled. "You certainly know me too well Sanzo. One of my students was badly injured. It took quite a bit of ki and time to insure his survival. As for eating, I do eat adequately. The parents of my students can't really afford much in the way of money but they supply me with plenty of vegetables and grains and the occasional bit of meat. My needs are simple and I really do have all I want."
Sanzo knew there was no sense in arguing with Hakkai over it. It was an old disagreement, one they would never resolve.
Hakkai in turn looked over his friend. He wished he could say that Sanzo looked poorly too, but he couldn't. Age and a desk job had added some much needed weight to Sanzo's excessively thin build, making him look healthy. Sanzo's hair, long like Hakkai's, was also pulled back into a ponytail, but was untouched by grey. It shone as blond today as it had fifty years ago. For as much as Sanzo abused his body with alcohol and cigarettes, he looked forty-three instead of seventy-three. The only things to give away Sanzo's real age were a few lines on his face and the slow and careful way he often moved. From personal experience, Hakkai knew that all of their old injuries and breaks hurt regularly.
"You're looking quite well, Sanzo." Hakkai said. "Come on in, sit down and I'll make you some coffee."
"None of that instant stuff," Sanzo grumbled to Hakkai's back as he started to leave the room to go into the kitchen. "That stuff tastes worse than shit."
"Yes, yes," Hakkai said, turning around to address Sanzo. "You say the same thing every visit. I can't even remember the last time I served you instant. I will have it ready in a few minutes and after that you can tell me the reason for your visit."
Left on his own, Sanzo slowly looked around the living room. It was the same as it had been for the last twenty years. Two over-stuffed reading chairs faced each other, an end table next to each of them. In front of the chairs, the fireplace had been lit earlier to take the chill out of the fall night, but the fire had burned down till only a few glowing embers remained. A small dining table was placed against the wall. It was rarely used for eating; more often than not Hakkai used it for tutoring students. Neatly stacked piles of papers, waiting to be corrected, occupied a small section of the tabletop. The remainder of the wall space was taken up by bookshelves. In one corner of the room, Hakkai had set up an altar. Pictures of Gojyo and Goku rested there. A small candle, still burning, and a half used stick of incense rested on the table. Hakkai had paid his respects today.
Sanzo settled in one of the overstuffed chairs just as Hakkai returned with Sanzo's coffee and a cup to tea for himself.
Wincing slightly as he sat, Hakkai took a sip of his tea and finally asked, "It's not that you aren't welcome here Sanzo, but to what do I owe this visit?"
Sanzo sipped his coffee. "It's an official visit. After all, I am supposed to keep tabs on you for the Three Aspects, and it's been much too long since I did."
"It hasn't been that long," Hakkai said with a sigh. "It's only been about two weeks since your last visit and that was your excuse then. Is it really so hard after all these years to admit you are here to visit an old friend?"
"Tch," Sanzo said. "Now who knows who too well," he grudgingly admitted. "The fools at the temple are driving me crazy. They tried to take away my cigarettes last week and they've been pressing me to name a successor. They insist on this toad of a priest, trying to point out all the "valuable" things he does to show how much he deserves the title. The man is worthless and the officials would be able to manipulate him easily. I couldn't pass the sutras on to him."
"Who would you chose then? Is there anyone?" Hakkai asked.
Sanzo shifted in his chair and put his empty cup on the end table. "If I had to, it would be Hikaru. He's certainly less annoying than most of the others and he's strong enough physically and mentally to protect the sutras."
"Sounds to me like you've made your decision," Hakkai said thoughtfully. "From what I have observed of Hikaru over the years, he is an excellent choice. What's stopping you from naming him?"
"I guess," Sanzo said slowly, searching for the right words, "I guess I am hesitant to sentence anyone to the type of life I have lived, to the isolation the title of Sanzo brings to a person's life."
"You sound like you regret your life, Sanzo," Hakkai said sadly.
"Didn't we all? Don't the two of us still? Does a day go by that you don't miss Gojyo and Goku? Each time I visit I see the incense you've burned at their shrine, the scent faintly lingering in the air."
"Yes, I miss them," Hakkai said softly. "Every minute of every day I remind myself of what I have lost. But I also have hope now, something I never thought I would have again. If you think Hikaru would make a good Sanzo, speak with him and name him your successor. Let him choose his own way and allow him to deal with the burden of the Sanzo title as he sees fit."
Sanzo nodded his head in agreement. "Somehow I figured you would say that," Sanzo said with one of his rare smiles.
Seeing Sanzo's cup was empty, Hakkai asked, "More coffee Sanzo?"
"No, I think it's time for me to head back to the temple. I have a few plans to put into motion as soon as I arrive."
"Such a short visit at such a late hour. You really should spend the night and get an early start back in the morning."
"Hikaru drove me here. He should be back for me soon. I sent him out to get me some cigarettes since the Elders confiscated all my other packs."
"Ahh. I thought you said they only tried to confiscate them, not that they had succeeded. I had wondered why you hadn't tried to light one up," Hakkai said with a laugh. "I guess that explains it."
Sanzo just glowered at him. "You do know I still carry my gun. I can just as easily shoot you as I can ignore you."
"My, my, Sanzo, there's no need to threaten violence," Hakkai said in mock terror. "I truly wish you would spend the night, but I really do understand your determination to get things started. Next week I will come to the temple to visit so you won't have to make this journey again."
"Fine," Sanzo said. "We'll play a few rounds of mahjong when you come. I should have a lot of free time by the end of next week and I don't think I've ever found the occasion to teach Hikaru to play yet."
"Next week at the temple it will be, Sanzo." Hakkai said and as if on cue there was a gentle tapping on the door signaling Hikaru's return and Sanzo's exit.
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