Chapter 3

YAY! I got 8 reviews! Thank you, faithful reviewers, you have helped this fangirl-in-denial (see pen name) update sooner! Woot! (I was originally going to do this tomorrow, but I'm bored right now and there's nothing on tv.) So, you know the drill. After you read, you REVIEW and tell me what you think about the chapter, along with what you LIKE, HATE, and THINK. Please, people, I need your support. My next goal is to have 13 reviews, ok? Help me reach that goal by CLICKING THE PURPLE BUTTON when you're done. (If I don't get 13 reviews, I'll make this story get all angsty and …random…not that it isn't now, but you know what I mean, right?) Seriously, it's my dream to get more than 10 reviews. Let's just say that the 10th reviewer will get some virtual CHICKEN AND BUBBLEGUM, got it? (I don't think you'd like duck…I mean, I tried it once and it was good, but hey, you'll be taking the word of someone who lives by the 10 second rule –you know, if you drop something, it's okay to pick it up and eat it as long as it hasn't been on the ground for more than 10 seconds) Anyways, ON WITH THE FIC! (slams into someone…wait a sec…is that you sasuke? No, it's my SANDMAN! Gaara! I LOVE YOU! XD)

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Sasuke felt his eyebrow twitching again…actually, it wasn't just his eyebrow. Some other parts of his body were twitching too –for example, his mouth was twitching since he didn't know what to say about the "chicken/duck" insult. His hands were also twitching in an attempt to restrain himself from slapping the former evil but still hottie a.k.a. Itachi because he made Sakura blush…however, let us take a moment of silence to commemorate Sasuke's stupidity –he didn't even know why he wanted to slap Itachi! Of course, being the GREAT UCHIHA SASUKE, the thought of even liking Sakura never crossed his mind. He just MINDLESSLY classified the Twitching of Hands Incident under the file of "1000 Ways to Respond to Itachi and Other Evil Brothers". However, we all know better (I hope…). Anyways, back to the story.

Sasuke finally stopped himself from slapping Itachi and saying anything, much to the relief of Sakura, who had been silently blushing all the time. Itachi, seeing this, grinned and managed to look even hotter. Sakura, knowing that the grin was aimed at her felt herself going tomato-red (think about how poor Hinata goes red right before she faints when she is close to Naruto…it's really sad though, because if she doesn't faint, I'm sure she and Naruto would make a really cute couple…no offense to any anti-Naruhina fans because I'm a pro-Naruhina fan, so, just don't flame me. Better yet, give me ideas of how I can add some Naruhina into this fic. Also, I might add some Nejiten, for all you Nejiten fans, so I might need some ideas for that too.)

Anyways, Sakura was flushing and tomato-red, and Sasuke finally took the time to register this. Sasuke, being the tomato-obsessed boy he is (why is he obsessed with tomatoes?), instantly thought of his favorite vegetable…er…fruit. Because Sasuke hadn't had breakfast, his stomach suddenly told his brain that he was out of gas. (STOP THINKING WHAT YOU ARE THINKING PEOPLE!) Anyways, when the GREAT UCHIHA SASUKE is hungry, I'd like to add that he drools…A LOT. So, in this Kodak moment brought to you by me, the authoress, I'd like to tell you that Sasuke is drooling at Sakura, and Itachi is trying not to come up with some more chicken/duck/cockatoo jokes. (if you want to know about the cockatoo thing, read the reviews…XD) For example, one joke running in Itachi's amnesia cleared mind was "Why did the chicken cross the road?", which probably doesn't make sense to most of you (if it does, tell me why it's funny. I just thought of that and I laughed but I don't know why it's funny…I confuse myself sometimes…XD), but that joke clearly makes sense to former evil but now amnesia ridden hotties like Itachi –which was why is was sort of laughing …all by himself, while Sasuke and Sakura snapped out of their OOC moods.

Meanwhile, Tsunade watched all this with a sad expression on her face. Let us take a moment to pity this poor fifty-something year old woman with abnormally large breasts and a "youthful" looking face, as Gai and Lee would say. She is the Hokage, with lots of responsibilities and has to handle the whole village's problems, not to mention deal with weird anti-alcohol meetings filled with people dressed in pink and white robes. (I don't need to say that the majority of the members are men, too, do I?) However, now she is stuck with a formerly evil but still hot guy a.k.a. Itachi who is probably 5 times younger than him but she cannot help but check him out. It's a terribly sad thing when it comes to Tsunade's love life. Heck, she doesn't even remember half of her ex-s because she was drunk at the time they hooked up. However, let us proceed with the fic.

Anyways, Sakura and Sasuke were looking at the laughing Itachi with somewhat confused expressions. Tsunade, who didn't want to go to another anti-alcohol meeting because of her violent sake-deprived rants, quickly ended the very awkward situation.

"Sasuke, Sakura, the cabin that you're about to share with Itachi is near the marketplace, but somewhat near the woods. I'm leaving the grocery shopping to Itachi and Sasuke, and I'm leaving the buying of the necessities and home furnishings(toilet paper, light bulbs, furniture, etc.) to Sakura. I expect you to have settled in by the end of the week. Also, be sure to watch what you say, Sasuke and Sakura. And Itachi, please think of more appropriate nicknames, got it?"

Sasuke, Sakura, and Itachi all nodded and hurried out before they got scarred for life at the sight of Tsunade lovingly stroking the sake bottle.

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Hey! Since I got 8 reviews last time, I'm going to post my author's note in the middle again, for those of you who don't bother to read what's at the beginning and the author's note at the end. Anyways, this is this chapter's author's note:

If I don't get 13 reviews, I'll make this story get all angsty and …random…not that it isn't now, but you know what I mean, right?) Seriously, it's my dream to get more than 10 reviews.

(thank you, thank you…now back to the fic)

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Anyways, the trio started making their way back to the cabin. While walking through the marketplace, they met up with Sai.

"Hey! Ugly! Rooster head!"

Sakura and Sasuke turned around, eyebrows twitching for possibly the fourth time that day. (Seriously people, it's not healthy if you have twitching body parts…) It seemed as if Itachi had met his new best friend.

"Really? I was thinking more of bubblegum and cockatoo…or maybe bubblegum and chicken/duck….hmmm…how about pinky?" Itachi glanced knowingly at Sai, who proudly nodded back.

"Those are really good nicknames. Which book did you read to achieve such kind and familiar names?"

Itachi shrugged. "I guess it's just a talent I have. By the way, what should I call you?"

Sai smirked. "Hmmm…well, the positive traits that I have are that I am very artistic and a very talented ninja. The negative traits are that people usually think that I am a Sasuke fanboy."

Itachi smiled. "Hmmm…this could be QUITE a challenge…I could name you Barney because you're still smiling 5 minutes into our conversation, but then I could call you Granny because you talk like an old person. I could also call you Mr. Itchy because of that orange book in your pocket authored by Jiraiya. Hmm…there's also the Inkperv…but then I'm not sure how everyone around us would respond to that…"

Sai's grin widened. "Hey, I could lend you my how-to-be-social-and-make-friends book to you!"

Sasuke and Sakura, not wanting to know where this conversation would end up, decided that it was time to drag Itachi away from Sai. However, before they left, Itachi managed to agree to stop by at Sai's sometime to pick up the book.

As they continued on their little walk, Itachi felt triumphant. This former-evil-but-still-hot guy had just made his first friend! Seriously, once you think about it, it's kind of hard to make friends when you're a guy who wears a cloak with flowers on it. It sort of scares people away even before they realize that you're evil. Fortunately, Tsunade, even in her sake-deprived state, had the fashion sense to dispose of the atrocious looking cloak before Itachi could even say the word "YOSH!". (don't ask…let's just say that Lee and Gai were in the building at that time and Itachi overheard them talking)

However, Itachi was snapped out of his triumphant mood when Sakura started giving out orders.

"Sasuke, Itachi, I think that it would be good if you guys started grocery-shopping. I'll go buy the necessities and then we'll all go back to the cabin, okay?"

Sasuke and Itachi didn't even get a chance to reply as Sakura skipped off, leaving the two GREAT UCHIHAS to think about what to buy for dinner. Sadly, Sakura did not know what was going to be in store for her.

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Anyways, Sakura had just finished shopping for the necessities and for the home furnishings. Panting, she finally got to the cabin. (hey, if you have to drag along a whole dining set along with some female hygiene products, you tend to get tired) She opened the door and hoped that the guys weren't back yet since she wanted to see how big their new living quarters were and hoped that there was more than one bathroom since she DID NOT want to share a bathroom even with her BELOVED Sasuke. However, Sakura doesn't get what she wants as she sees that the guys have already made themselves at home.

"Where are the bathrooms?" Sakura asked.

Itachi and Sasuke stared, then realized why Sakura had made "bathroom" plural. Sasuke decided to speak for the two of them. "There's only one bathroom, but there's an outhouse outside."

Sakura thought about it, then came up with a plan –mostly payback for all the times Sasuke had ignored her and for Itachi for calling her Bubblegum. "Okay! I have an idea. The Uchiha clan is really noble, right?" she asked.

Sasuke, not knowing what she was getting at, replied, "Yes."

Sakura was beginning to like making Sasuke uncomfortable. "Then, those of the Uchiha clan are real gentlemen, aren't they?"

Sasuke did NOT like where this was going and was afraid to find out. However, he had his GREAT UCHIHA PRIDE to think about, and therefore said, "Yes."

Sakura smiled, knowing that she was about to win. "Then that means that you two are gentlemen and will let me use the bathroom while you guys use the outhouse, right? I mean, only the noble Uchihas would do such a generous deed, right?"

Sasuke stared at her, and started having a debate with his inner.

(if you guys didn't know yet, the bold type words are the Inners and the italics are the thoughts)

Since when did she become this smart?

Umm..Sasuke? She was always this smart. It's just that you just started paying attention to her. (Sasuke's Inner restrained himself from saying the obvious, "Duh!", knowing that Sasuke would just start screaming out loud and Sakura would think that Sasuke is weird…not that he wasn't "different" in the first place.)

Ok…well, what should I do? And why can't we all share the bathroom?

Maybe…it's that time of month again and think about it, you and Itachi might knock over some … um, female hygiene products.

Hey! I wouldn't do that.

But Itachi would, and probably will.

Fine…I'll let her use the bathroom, but only this once. I've already been scarred for life using outhouses…seriously, outhouses are smelly and usually attract animals at night, so if I took a leak at night, I could be attacked by a rabid squirrel…

Don't tell me the great Uchiha Sasuke is afraid of a rabid squirrel…

But what if it bites me THERE?

Let's end this conversation. I don't feel like talking to you anymore…

Hey!

Sasuke snapped back to reality, not knowing that he had been staring at Sakura for 5 minutes while she waited for his reaction.

"Fine…you can use the bathroom."

Sakura grinned!

Another victory! SHANNARO! (sorry, but I just had to add that "shannaro" part…if you don't know what it means, pm me. )

Sadly, our poor Itachi fell asleep during the middle of the conversation and doesn't have any clue about the "bathroom/outhouse rules". Anyways, back to the story.

Sakura was getting hungry and decided to cook some dinner, after asking the two Uchihas and getting a "hn.." in reply. Sadly, when she opened the fridge, she saw that it was filled with….tomatoes and bubblegum. (don't ask me why there is bubblegum in the fridge…if you have an idea of why it's in there, pm me) Anyways, Sakura was starting to get ticked off.

"WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF THE GROCERY SHOPPING?"

She received a "yes" from both Uchihas.

"WHO BOUGHT THE TOMATOES?"

"umm….I did," Sasuke answered, afraid of what might happen.

"AND WHO BOUGHT THE BUBBLEGUM?"

Itachi smirked at Sakura and got up. "Why, I thought that you'd love bubblegum, Pinky. And plus, it's my favorite food!"

Sakura turned an unhealthy shade of red, once again, reminding the GREAT UCHIHA SASUKE of tomatoes and of his empty stomach. It is no surprise then, that he should start drooling.

Sakura slowly backed away from Sasuke, as she turned back to her normal color. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten (techniques that she had learned in her anger management session with Tsunade), she became calm and cheery again.

"Ok! I know what to do! We'll have ramen tonight!"

Seeing no protests, Sakura went to her room to get changed. Since this was her first time in her new room, she checked to see which of the guys' rooms were near hers. It turned out that Sasuke's was next to hers and Itachi's across from Sasuke's. Processing this information, Sakura changed into something more casual –a blue baby tank top with some fishnet in …favorable….places and some ripped washed-out jeans. She then proceeded to go to the bathroom when she was saw Itachi coming out of it.

"I thought I said that the bathroom was mine, Itachi!" Sakura yelled.

Sadly, Sakura had no idea what she was in for.

"Hey Sakura! You're not pregnant, right?"

At this Sasuke's head snapped up, and although he told himself that it was a reflex, his Inner knew better. However, Sasuke decided to listen in on their conversation.

"Itachi…why would you think that?" Sakura said in a dangerous voice, "I'm sixteen!"

Itachi's voice sounded confused and strangled at the same time, "Then why do you have diapers in the bathroom?" Itachi asked, holding up an UNUSED (thank god…) pad to Sakura's face.

Sakura's face turned an unholy shade of red and purple while her eyebrow twitched furiously (there should seriously be a heart rate monitor attached to Sakura….seriously…).

However, Sakura soon realized that because Itachi had temporary amnesia, he had forgotten the –cough-sex ed. class-cough –that he had taken before he became An Evil Hottie. Sakura sighed, knowing that to explain to Itachi what happens every month is going to be pointless, managed to take the pad out of Itachi's hand without suffering from a major seizure. She also told him about her and Sasuke's conversation so he'd understand that they had made a deal. Surprisingly, she had not suffered a fit of epilepsy, which is a good thing.

Unfortunately, Sasuke's state of mind was … shall we say…scarred for life. His Inner took this as a good time to appear and so they started having a heated conversation.

I can't believe that just happened…

Hey…it happens to the best of us…and since when did you know what happens every month to girls?

Don't ask…it was a frightening experience, being in Kakashi and Gai's sex ed. class.

I do not even want to THINK about that.

Too bad…you have my memory archives in your hands right now and it's on that certain page.

AHHHHH!

Sadly, Sasuke's Inner was so scarred that it made Sasuke start screaming out loud…which disrupted the rather unmentionable conversation Sakura was having with Itachi.

"You guys, we're leaving for dinner NOW," Sakura said, not wanting anything else to happen.

And so the two poor Uchihas were dragged all the way to Ichiraku's (is that the name of the ramen place? If not, tell me, ok?).

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That was THE LONGEST chapter I have ever written. Seriously, this thing is ELEVEN pages long. (I know you all probably can write and longer chapters, but for me, this is a first. XD) But, anyways, if you want faster updates, REVIEW! My goal, if you read the author's note in the middle of the chapter, is to get to 13 reviews. If I do, I'll make this story even better (can you believe that?) and update more often. If I don't…then well I'll update when I'm bored…which will probably be sometime soon…XD….anyways, the next chapter will center around Sai, Itachi, and Kakashi and the evil plans they make. …well….REVIEW!