"Harry, Ron, Draco, Voldemort, come inside before I go out there and bi-…slap you!" Hermione's voice rang through the hallway out to the porch where the three boys and very confusing man all groaned before mumbling and walking inside.
"Dinner," Hermione announced. This changed their attitudes immediately. The boys sat down eagerly, and Luna served them. Ginny served the girls, while they sat down, Hermione only playing with her food at the boys shoved as much down their throats as possible.
You'd think a murderous genius would have more table manners, actually. But he ate just like a little kid.
"Hermione dear, you should eat something," Luna suggested. Hermione slammed her fist down on the table and stood up angrily.
"That's it! How the heck can all of you eat when there's a MURDEROUS KILLER EATING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU?!" she cried loudly.
The boys shrugged, and continued to scarf down food faster than the speed of light. Hermione groaned and sat back down. No one seemed to notice this. Minutes later, Hermione was cleaning the dishes with the girls, while the boys argued about whose Quidditch team was best. Hermione glanced at Luna and nodded, and she nodded back. Luna nodded to Ginny, who turned around and grabbed an odd looking cloak that really belonged to Harry. She threw it to Luna, who put it over her head and completely disappeared. Luna walked out of the kitchen and right past the boys. She climbed up the stairs, trying to make as little sound as possible.
Luna finally made it up to the second floor, and decided to start with Ron's room. She, of course, knew where the magazines were, they were in the same place for all the boys. Her only problem was if Ron was or was not clever enough to put a ward around his bed. Sighing, she bent down and glanced underneath the bed-and gasped.
Ron won the "Most Magazines Collected" award for sure. There had to be more than a thousand magazines under his bed.
You'd think Draco won that award, but no. It had to be Ron, and we still wonder HOW a wizard so clueless like him found this Muggle Magazine in the first place, seeing as they lived in a Wizards Community, the only muggles were those that know about magic and such.
Luna frowned, and pulled out as many of the magazines with one hand as she could, and then pointed to the stack with her wand, whispering.
"Inflamari." The pile burst into flames, and Luna smiled.
A pile less of porn. She thought to herself. Luna continued this until there was a rather large pile of ashes in front of her. Smiling, she whispered the spell to clean it up, and then pulled the cloak over her head again. This time she crawled to the next bedroom, which happened to belong to Draco. She looked under the covers-and gasped.
There were seven magazines under his bed. Luna's eye twitched, utterly confused. Then a thought popped into her head.
Maybe a Confucius Hornless Barreler swapped the spot under their beds! That explains a lot, really. Nodding, Luna grabbed the seven magazines and tore them up, and then burned them and Scourgifyed the pile away. Luna held the cape once more and crawled towards Harry's bedroom, finding a pile of Playboy magazines…on top of his bed. Luna looked underneath and found something quite different.
"'Cosmo girl'?!" Luna was utterly frightened. Harry was subscribed to Cosmo Girl…wow. Luna shuddered and burned the remaining Playboy magazines, before grabbing the Cosmo girl pile and crawled to Hermione's bedroom, before stowing them in her closet with a little note that read "Harry owns Cosmo Girl magazines?!".
Luna smiled and pulled the cloak over her head, walking down the stairs and past the boys. Walking into the kitchen she saw to nervous females. Luna pulled off the cloak and nodded her head, smiling. Hermione sighed in relief, and Ginny grumbled something that sounded like 'not good enough for him, eh?'. Hermione patted Luna on the back before smiling herself and turning to the boys in the Living room.
Harry, Ron, and Draco were utterly confused. The girls were smiling and talking to each other, much more cheerful than they expected. Harry sighed and watched Hermione flip her hair and lean back on the chair she was sitting in. What am I doing wrong? I thought she fancied me! Honestly, what's gotten into her? Has she gotten a boyfriend? "Dear lord, please not that!" Harry muttered to himself.
"Not what? I will help the young man in distress!" A heroic voice called once again from above the house. Harry looked up.
"You again?! What do you want!?"
"Who, me? Who are you?" The voice faded away, and Harry groaned. Even a single voice could have helped him, even if he looked like an idiot screaming to his ceiling. He sighed and walked up to his room, hoping for the comfort of magazines. Maybe they'd make him forget about Hermione for a few minutes.
He walked up to his room, and found the door open. Cautiously, he walked in…to find his Playboy magazines were missing!
Harry stared in horror, and a thought crossed his mind. What if they took my Cosmo Girl magazines! NOO!!1 He dove under the bed, and let out a cry of defeat.
"MY COSMO GIRL MAGAZINES!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Harry sat underneath his bed, crying.
Hermione came rushing up, very frightened after hearing Harry scream about Cosmo Girl magazines. She threw the door open…
And found Harry stretched out underneath his bed, moaning.
"My Cosmo Girl magazines…gone…why…please….I am cursed." Hermione chuckled softly, realizing what was going on. She went to her room, and opened her closet. There was a pile of magazines, all called "Cosmo Girl", with a note attatched to the top. She read it and snorted.
" Harry owns Cosmo Girl magazines?!"