Emo and Other Cliches

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I've learned a lot of things about Craig Manning over the past few years. I've learned to never attempt to get him away from his guitar when he's 'in the zone.' To never make light of his disorder or the things he's done because of it. To never underestimate his intentions when it comes to whatever girl he's in love with at the moment.

But most importantly, I've learned that when he's silent ... it's bad. Very, very bad.

"Craig?"

"Do you want to me leave Ellie, is that it?" he finally demands. Okay, he's mad. I pretty much saw that coming. Good thing I've dealt with his drama before.

"No, I don't want you to leave. I want you to be honest with me." I say.

"I came to you because you're my friend and I missed you." he tells me, laying on the big puppy eyes with everything he's got.

"Could've fooled me." I mutter.

"What?"

"Nothing."

That look is plainly saying 'yeah right' but he doesn't push it. Instead, he inhales more Cheetos and looks out the window. Snow is starting to fall and everything looks still and peacful outside. Wish I could say the same for inside.

"In case you forgot, the Simpson-Nelson residence is a little cramped right now. With Manny and )Sean, me bunking there isn't the best idea." he says.

Sean. He had to mention Sean. Clearly, he forgot that I actually loved the guy once and he ditched me only to retutrn a year later to the ever eager arms of the girl he really loves. Gee, the night I found out about him staying at Emma's sure was fun. I'm just thankful Marco took away the ice cream when he did.

"And Jimmy? Marco? Why didn't you stay with one of them?"

He shrugs. Gr, he knows I hate that. It's the non-answer answer. He apparently remembers that because he shakes his head and reluctantly answers. "I don't know. You were the first person that I thought of."

Okay. So did not need to hear that. I'm getting all gooey and sappy on the inside. No. I will not succumb to Craig and his overly charming ways. Not again.

"Whatever Craig," I tell him, desperate to get off this track right now, "don't tell me. I don't care." He starts babbling about soemthing, but I'm already out the door.

Safely ensconsed in the elevator, I finally let the tears out. "God!" I scream, slamming my hand against the wall. I wish I could hate him. So much. Then it wouldn't hurt so bad being around him, wanting him so much, and always being so angry that he just doesn't get it. I slid down the floor, my hands in my hair as I try to clear my thoughts. What did he mean by that? I was the first person he thought of? He comes home to find his family out of town and instead of going to his girlfriend's he goes to see a friend that he chose said girlfriend over, the same friend that he's barely acknowledged since he left after she was the one who convinced him to follow his dreams. What is that?

What am I doing? Why am I sitting here, in an elevator of all places, crying over Craig? Again. How cliched can I possibly get? Here I sit, like some stupid heartsick overindulgent emo ballad come ot life, while he's up in my room, eating Cheetos. Why should I let him get off that easily? I shouldn't. I'm Ellie Nash, tough punk chick. I can do this. I don't need to hide like some ... lovesick girl. Cause I'm not. I'm one seriously ticked off girl.

Two buttons and I'm on my way back upstairs. Someone's got some explaining to do.

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"All right Manning, you have exactly two minutes to explain yourself." I storm in and stand in front of him with my arms crossed, daring him to defy me.

Craig is just staring up at me from the bed with that blank look of his, Cheeto halfway to his mouth. At my little outburts, he drops it. "Explain what? I thought we went through all of that before your little tantrum."

Excuse me, tantrum? Oh, I'll give him a tantrum all right.

"No. We went through your excuses. Tell me, does Manny even know you're in town?"

"I don't see how that's relevant." he says.

I snort. Yes, snort. Do not judge me here. I've needed to do this for a long time. "So that's a 'no' then, right?"

"What do you want from me Ellie?" Figures he'd sidestep the question. And with an even more loaded one to boot.

"I want you to be honest with me. I think I deserve that much." I tell him softly.

With a deep sigh that sounds like he's exhaling the weight of the world, he sits up on the bed. I sink down beside him, but I don't look at him. I focus on the ugly beige carpeting.

"I didn't tell Manny I was coming to town because I don't want to have to deal with her parading me around an endless series of high school events like some sideshow act. Her rockstar boyfriend." he said sarcastically. "And I didn't want to stay with Marco or Jimmy because it would be almost as bad. They would just ... bombard me with questions and I can't handle that right now."

Okay. Not what I was expecting to hear.

"I thought you would be so excited over your album, you'd never shut up about it. But this is the first time you've actually mentioned it."

"It was ... harder... than I thought it would be." he confessed. I've never heard his voice that small. "There was all this pressure, and everybody knew so much more than I did, and I missed everyone so much ..." he trailed off. Wanting to wrap my arms around him and never let go but knowing I can't, I place my hand on his on his knee. He finally looks up at me, and by now I'm looking back at him. "I came to you because I knew you'd get it. And I knew it would be peaceful with you. No drama, no hassles. Just ... us. Like we used to be."

His words wash over me and I'm falling into those eyes so deeply I doubt I'll ever be able to climb out. They're so rich and warm and inviting and I feel myself getting lost in them as I lean in closer. My eyes flutter shut and I know this is going to change my life.

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)Based on season six spoilers. That's right people, I did not make that up.