Chapter 12
Woot! I got 100 reviews! You guys are so totally AWESOME! As a gift, I'll update this chappie today, okay? You guys are seriously cool –I never actually thought that I'd get 100 reviews! I started screaming when I looked at the stats and I was like, "Whoa! This is so cool!"…luckily, no one was at home so my parents weren't like, "we should make her go to a boarding school.."….XD…anyways, here's the chappie! Oh, and I'm gonna try to make it extra funny for you guys, okay?
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto….otherwise, it'd be called "Sasuke"….XD
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"Ow! Ow! NO! NOT THERE! INO, STOP! OWWW!" Ino started chasing Sasuke around the room with the ginormous pan, hitting Sasuke everywhere while the others looked on.
"troublesome…"
"whoa…that girl has some guts…"
"Sasuke? Why aren't you defending yourself?"
However, because Sasuke had just woken up, he was a bit groggy –he was NOT a morning person, so right now, his skill level was even lower than Sakura.
"OW! INO YOU WILL PAY! I NEED TO RESTORE MY CLAN, DAMMIT!"
Fifteen minutes later, Sasuke was slumped over on the couch while Ino was panting heavily and putting the pan back.
"And THAT'S what you get for messing around with me, Uchiha," Ino said, as she proceeded to go to the bathroom and wash off the sharpie, or at least put some concealer on.
Meanwhile, Sakura stretched and got up.
"oh god…I'm really hungy….here, I'll cook something!"
"Sure! I'll help!" Temari said as she got up and joined Sakura.
However, Sasuke was too tired to listen to what was going on and Shikamaru was asleep so none of the guys knew how bad the girls' cooking skills were.
O.O.O.O.O.O…O.O.O.O.O.O.O.OOOOOOOOO.O.O.O.OO.O.OO.O
"Hmmm…do you think vinegar will help the cake?" Sakura held up a bottle of clear fluid.
"Oh…throw
it in! I heard somewhere that vinegar helps the body cleanse itself
of all impurities…" Temari replied.
"Oohh! How about these
jellybeans! They're awesome!"
"Yeah! It'll go great with the salt and pepper…" Temari grinned.
"Great! Now let's make some sushi while we wait for the cake to rise."
"First, we need some fish and stuff…"
Just then, Kisame appeared, looking for Itachi in their usual secret hiding place in the morgue (see, Itachi kind of regained a memory –about a secret hiding place, which he put Sakura and Sasuke into) .
"Hey…what are these kids doing here? And why do I smell something weird cooking?"
Kisame decided to have a peek in the kitchen and was suddenly tackled by Sakura and Temari.
"We have fish! Yosh!" Sakura and Temari screamed as they started waving knives at Kisame.
"Hey…kids…don't you remember?"
"What?" Sakura and Temari asked in unison.
"The rule…"
"What rule?"
Kisame straightened up, "That FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD!"
"Ohhh…."
Sakura and Temari put their knives down as Kisame sighed in relief.
"In that case…" Sakura started.
"You'll have to LET us chop off your body parts!"
Kisame shuddered as he was once again tackled by the two kunoichi.
"Ahhh! Help!"
By this time, Ino had come out of the bathroom and seeing Sasuke passed out from the pain and Shikamaru sleeping (again), she went into the kitchen and saw Sakura, Temari, and Kisame. Or rather, what was left of Kisame.
"Fish….are….friends….not….food…." whimpered Kisame, who was clutching his poor Samehada like a security blanket.
Ignoring Kisame, Ino walked towards where Sakura and Temari were.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Making
sushi…"
"Wait…how did Kisame get here?"
All three girls turned to Kisame.
"Oh…err….i got lost?"
The girls knew he was lying and Temari started taking her big fan out.
"Okay, okay…" Kisame whined as he backed up, "this is usually Itachi's secret hiding place…we kinda meet here to talk about stuff…how did you guys get here anyways?"
"Itachi…"
"Asuma and Kurenai"
Kisame frowned, "Wait…have you seen Itachi?"
"Yeah…" Sakura started but was quickly silenced by a jab from Ino.
"This is supposed to be a secret, remember? You don't want Itachi to become evil again, do you?"
"Oh…no…why would we have seen Itachi?" Sakura asked, trying to cover up her mistake.
Kisame smirked, "Well, you did mention that Itachi brought you guys down here…."
Sakura fidgeted, "Oh, did I say Itachi? I meant to say….um….er…."
"What she meant to say was that we were led her by a tabby…not Itachi…" Temari finished for Sakura who sighed in relief.
"Wait…you were led here by an acne cat? What?" Kisame seemed to have suffered from the massive amount of blood loss resulting from Sakura and Temari's attack for fish meat.
However, the girls never got a chance to answer because the oven decided to make itself known.
Beep!
"Yay! The cake's done!" Sakura hurried and brought out the cake and the girls grinned as Kisame tried to back away.
"Kisame, get back here! Isn't this a beautiful cake?" Ino cried.
Kisame looked at the cake, which was a mixture of green and grey goo with a little fizz coming up from the middle.
"Err…it's unique…." Kisame said, wishing more than ever that he had stayed in bed that morning.
"Why don't you eat first, Kisame? It's the least we can do for borrowing your fins for the sushi!"
"Um…why don't you have the guys taste it first? They might like it more than me…er….yeah…." Kisame grinned sheepishly, thinking of an escape route.
"Oh! That's a good idea! Let's have Shikamaru eat it first!" Ino said.
"No! Sasuke-kun deserves it after you nearly killed him with the pan!"
The two girls began tugging at opposite sides of the plate which held the blob they called "cake".
"Shikamaru!"
"Sasuke!"
"Shikamaru!"
"Sasuke!"
"Shikamaru!"
"Sasuke!"
"Shikamaru!"
"Sasuke!"
"Shikamaru!"
"Sasuke!"
CRACK!
The plate cracked and broke in two as the cake fell down in slow motion.
3….
The girls stared in horror.
2…..
Ino, Temari, and Sakura started seeking refuge in the corners of the kitchen.
1….
SPLAT!
The cake landed on Kisame, who was too wounded to move.
"AAHHH! IT BURNS!" (de ja vu, right? Remember what happened at the bar with Sasuke and the ramen? XD…you're lucky this time it was Kisame and not Sasuke…XD)
The green-grey blob was now sizzling on Kisame's head, burning his face. However, underneath what was peeling off was another face.
"A mime?" All three girls questioned.
"Kisame, are you a mime?"
Kisame, frightened that the girls could now use this as blackmail tried using his mime powers.
I am throwing a large hefty red brick. He thought, while lifting his arms and moving them into a throwing motion. Apparently, it has no effect. The girls seemed unhurt by the mime-brick and so Kisame tried using other options. I am throwing a very heavy Deidera at them. Let's hope this works. Suddenly, a popping sound was made and Deidera was being thrown at the girls.
"Oomf…" All three girls were now pinned to the ground with Deidera in a fat suit.
"What happened…yeah? And why am I in this fat suit…yeah? Wait…who are these girls…yeah?" Deidera asked as he struggled out of the fat suit and threw it out the kitchen. Unfortunately, it fell on top of Sasuke who decided to move again and woke up Shikamaru. Muttering the guys headed to the kitchen, which was the source of all the commotion.
"Kisame…why are these girls under me…yeah?"
Unfortunately, Kisame was already gone and had run off to end his affair with the Loch Ness monster, so Deidera was all alone in the kitchen with 3 girls underneath him. Shikamaru and Sasuke chose this time to enter the kitchen and assumed the worst.
"Um…you guys, what's with Ino turning into a boy?" Shikamaru asked.
He was answered with, "I am NOT a boy and that's Deidera!" by Ino, who was screaming out from under Deidera.
"Sakura, what are you doing with that blonde? You weren't DOING anything, right?" Sasuke said as he walked over to the pile of writhing bodies.
"NO! I wasn't doing anything, Sasuke-kun! It was just that we were making sushi and got the fish meat from Kisame and then Kisame got burned by the cake and it turned out that he was a mime and then he threw an invisible brick at us but we didn't feel it and then he made Deidera appear in a fat suit!"
O.O
"Oh…okay…." Sasuke said, unsure of what was going on, but trying to look cool at the same time.
"So, wanna eat? Try the sushi! It took us forever to make!"
Sakura, Ino, and Temari had finally got up from under Deidera, who was muttering something about fatsuits and lipo, and presented the tray of sushi to the two guys.
"Err….what's in it?" Shikamaru asked, not wanting to get diarrhea like the last time he tried some of Ino's cooking.
"We have fish, veggies, rice, and seaweed. We also have our special ingredient! It's awesome! Try it!" Sakura pleaded.
Shikamaru was still unsure.
"Err…"
"Look, none of the ingredients are poisonous so just eat, will ya?" Temari demanded.
At that, Shikamaru and Sasuke warily picked up some of the sushi and put it in their mouths.
Chew.
Chew.
Chew.
"So, how do you guys like it?" Sakura asked, wanting some praise from the GREAT UCHIHA SASUKE.
Munch.
Munch.
Munch.
"Hey…this is actually pretty good…." Shikamaru said, "What kind of fish is this?"
"Oh, it's Kisame…"
"What?"
"Um…it's Kisame's toes…"
Sasuke started coughing and Shikamaru thought he was about to lose it, which he did –he let it loose all over the ground.
"Did you say 'Kisame's toes'?" Sasuke said, his eyebrow twitching.
"Yeah…doesn't it taste good?" Sakura asked, smiling brightly.
Deidera coughed, making himself known again.
"Who is that?" Sasuke asked.
"Oh, I'm Deidera…yeah…."
"Are you a girl?" Ino asked, "Cuz you could be my twin!"
"Ino?" Sakura asked.
"Yeah?"
"Listen to his voice…it's too deep to be a girl's voice…"
"OH! So is he my brother! That's so cool! I have a long lost brother!" Ino cried, snuggling against Deidera who was struggling to breathe while glaring at the others who were giggling.
"I'm….not….related….to….you………..yeah…." Deidera panted after Ino released him.
"Er….you guys….?" Shikamaru was getting bored, "Stop acting so troublesome and throw away the sushi…it's disgusting…."
"WHAT? YOU BETTER EAT THAT SUSHI, SHIKAMARU!" Temari shrieked, "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT TOOK TO CHOP OFF THE TOES AND CLEAN THEM!"
The two guys visibly gulped while Shikamaru hurriedly thought of a way to get out of the mess.
"Hey…Ino, why don't we do something else first? I mean, why don't we wait till we get hungry and so we can all eat it….plus, if Kisame comes back, he might want his toes back…and we don't want him to hurt us for eating them."
"Fine…but Kisame said that he was going to end his affair with the Loch Ness….i guess we'll just have to think of something else to do…." Ino said.
Deidera grinned, "Oh, I have the best idea…yeah….why don't we play dress up….yeah…."
All three girls suddenly got hearts in their eyes.
"Sure!"
Sasuke groaned. This was not gonna be good.
Why? Cuz you're afraid that Sakura's gonna dress up and you won't be able to control yourself?
Hn…Look, you know you wanna kiss her….remember when she was on top of you?
Can you leave me alone?No…because you'll need my help to think of a way to not dress up if Sakura forces you to…
How bad can it be? I'm an Uchiha…nothing bad will happen that I can't handle…Right….then, why is Ino making Shikamaru dressing up as Little Bo Peep…and I must say, that outfit does NOT suit him…
Oh s…this isn't good…Sakura better not make me dress up as Barbie or whatever…Uh huh…yeah right….she'll probably make you try on something that'll kill your "area" again….
Shut up…"Oy! Sasuke!" Sasuke snapped out of it as Deidera yelled in his ear.
"What!"
"Sakura wants you to dress up in these…yeah…" Deidera said, holding up the clothes.
Sasuke blinked.
This is NOT gonna happen to me…--------------------------
So, what do you think? Since I'm sorta running low on ideas, I'm gonna ask you guys to help me here. What do you want Sasuke to dress up as? Also, about the pairings, is it okay if it's shikaino? Who do you want Temari to be with? Another character or an OC? It's up to you! Oh, and if you don't like the shikaino pairing, you can tell me what pairing you want and why, okay? Anyways, THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO HAVE REVIEWED AND THOSE WHO ARE GOING TO! YOU GUYS ROCK!
Ja ne!
Oh, and wish me luck in school tomorrow!