Chapter 13

Hey! Did you guys miss me? I've had SO much homework –it's crazy…I already had 2 tests on this first week of school and I had like every subject for homework every night –it was TERRIBLE! I was up till eleven every night and woke up at 6:45 every morning…I can't believe I'm gonna have to do this for a whole year till it's summer again…:(….anyways, THANK YOU for your reviews.

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Temashikaino –2 (including me)

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Kibaino –1

Cast your vote in! It'll count!

Anyways, on to the story….

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Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I no own so you no sue…(I got that from some other fic…XD)

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Tsunade took one look at the screen and burst out laughing as Kakashi rolled on the floor giggling. Jiraiya, on the other hand, was getting out his notebook, ready to take down any notes for his new Icha Icha Paradise novel. The adults watched the screen.

"I HAVE TO WEAR THAT!" Sasuke was pointing to the outfits that Deidera was holding.

"Yes…now get dressed before I poke you with this…" Ino was swinging a javelin in the air.

"Where did she get that?" Tsunade asked paying close attention to what was happening.

(on the screen)

"Err….where did you get that, Ino…yeah?" Deidera was asking. The rest of the ninjas turned to Ino, twitching their eyebrows. It seemed as if they were picking up their bad habits again.

"Oh…I found it in the closet…" Ino pointed vaguely to the direction of the bathroom, "Now, Sasuke, go change into those outfits! You're going to be in a FASHION SHOW!" At this, Ino and Sakura squealed while Temari rolled her eyes. Shikamaru was still fixated on one of the particular costumes that Sasuke had to wear, and shuddered at the thought of having a makeover.

(at the Hokage's office)

Shizune was now having fits of laughter and Tonton was squealing as they watched the video camera.

(on the screen)

Sakura noticed Shikamaru shivering and cracked an evil grin, "Shikamaru…we should have a makeover for you, too…hmm…what color should we highlight your hair? Pink? Blue? Purple?" Sakura produced 10 bottles of hair dye and some boxes of make-up.

Shikamaru started backing away, and using his shadow jutsu to make Sakura freeze in her place.

"No, no, Shika-kun….i won't let you do that, cuz I'm on their side, too!" Temari stepped forward, smiling and smirking slightly.

"Hey! You can't call Shikamaru Shika-kun! That's MY nickname for him!" Ino snapped at Temari.

"Yo….i'm helping you, so at least be grateful…god, you Konoha shinobi are such brats…"

Ino turned away.

"Look…as long as you don't dye my hair pink, I'll agree, okay?" Shikamaru yawned. He planned on sleeping through the whole torturous experience, to avoid scarring his genius mind.

Sakura smiled.

"Okay, now go put these on, okay?"

"Fine…"

Shikamaru took the clothes and proceeded to the next room, leaving behind three, scheming girls.

"Okay, first we should have Sasuke walk down the catwalk…I have music for it too…" Sakura said.

"Fine…next comes Shika-kun…I don't think he'll enjoy this since he won't be able to sleep through it…" Ino grinned.

"Okay, girls, get the cameras ready!" Temari motioned as Sasuke stepped out of the room and Sakura put on the music.

I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
Sasuke walked out in a cat-woman suit, his hair sticking out of the leather mask and the lipstick smeared on his cheek. The black leather pants fit him perfectly, although they were tailored for women and were too clingy. The shirt was the most surprising.

"Err…Sasuke?" Ino was giggling too hard to continue.

And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing

"The shirt…it fits you….all of it…" Sakura said between laughs.

"Is there something wrong with that? It's supposed to fit, isn't it?" Sasuke was confused.

"Er…but it fits…your…er…chest….yeah…..it's supposed to be loose there…cuz yeah…it's for girls….and you're not a girl….you don't have, you know….boobs…yeah…"

Sasuke looked down, "Well it's not my fault this shirt is so tight…I mean, it'd make YOU have boobs, Deidera…"

Sakura giggled, "But Sasuke, are you really a guy? Cuz, you know, you were bleeding THERE this morning and now you have moobs…" Sakura trailed off, breaking into another fit of giggles.

"Hey! The bleeding was caused by a rabid squirrel bite!"

Ino smirked, "Right…like the GREAT UCHIHA SASUKE would get bit by a rabid squirrel…just admit it…it was your time of month…" Ino collapsed into a pile of laughter.

"Hey! I was in an outhouse and I HAD TO GO! It's not my fault!"
I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
Sasuke reached at the end of the "catwalk" and turned and was about to walk back when Sakura pulled him back.

"What are you doing, Sakura?"

"I'm seeing if you're really a guy…" Sakura said, her eyes on his face, looking for any signs of girl-ishness.

"Hey! I'm a guy! Now get off of me!"

"Not yet!" Ino came up with a bow and arrow and started aiming.

"Ino…wh-what…are you doing?" Sasuke said, backing up.

Ino didn't answer, instead she released the bow to her target.

Thwang.

Sasuke suddenly jolted upright, clutching the spot between his legs.

"INO! THAT KILLED! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REVIVE THE UCHIHA CLAN NOW!"

Ino giggled, "Well, at least we know that you're a guy…"
"Not yet….Sasuke, you need to fill out this form. Go and change into the other outfits and then complete it for me, okay?" Sakura handed Sasuke a piece of paper and motioned him to go back and change.

Sasuke walked back, his leather pants squeaking all the way back.

Squeak.

Squeak.

Squeak.

"What's that sound?" Sakura asked. It wasn't Sasuke because he was already in the bathroom changing.

"Err…" Ino pointed to the figure that stood in the doorway that led to the "catwalk". Sakura turned to the direction in which Ino was pointing and started twitching…majorly.

"Shikamaru…." Sakura started but was drowned out by Ino's laughter.

"OH…MY…GOD….SHIKAMARU, THAT FITS YOU PERFECTLY…." Ino shrieked, "This…is…really….scary…."

Sakura turned up the volume as another song started.

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen
Shikamaru walked down the catwalk in a tight green spandex suit, courtesy of Lee and Gai-sensei. With the spandex hugging every muscle and body part, it squeaked with every step he took. The orange leg warmers were not helping at all either. Overall, Shikamaru looked like a pineapple stranded on a desert island.

"This…is….so….troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered, unhappy that he was being tortured. He was about to turn around and go back when Ino stopped him.

"We need to do your makeup and your nails, got it?"

"…"

"Shikamaru?"

"No…"

"Please!"

"No…"

"You get to sleep through this!"

"……fine….."

"Yay!"

Ino pulled up a chair for him and started doing his eyeshadow while Sakura started doing his nails.

"Hmmm…do you think black eyeliner and baby blue shadow will look good?" Ino asked.

"Yeah…give him pink lipgloss too…."

"Oh, and do his nails purple…"

"Sure…"

Fifteen minutes later, the girls were done with Shikamaru's new look and laid back and waited for Sasuke.

"Oh yeah….we have to take pictures of this as blackmail!" Sakura said.

Ino pulled out her Polaroid and started snapping pictures of Shikamaru with pink highlights and makeup.

Just then, Sasuke stepped out in his new outfit.

(at the Hokage's office)

"Sasuke is not wearing that…he's my student! None of my students should have to wear that! It's worse than Orochimaru's Michael Jackson look!" Kakashi complained as he watched the fashion show unravel.

"Well, too bad…my apprentice seems to be having fun torturing YOUR favorite student…" Tsunade responded.

Jiraiya just giggled, "Well, shouldn't we tape this so we can blackmail them?"

"You're right! Sakura would LOVE a chance to torture Uchiha!"

"That's actually a good idea! This way, I can bribe Sasuke not to yell at me or complain to you guys when I'm 4 hours late to train him!" Kakashi cried.

Tsunade and Jiraiya looked at him. Or rather, glared at him.

"um…oops?" Kakashi started running for his life.

(on screen)

Clunk.

Clunk.

Clunk.

"I…can'tmfff….breathemmfff…in…thisffff…." Sasuke's voice was muffled by the mask he was wearing.

"AHH! IT'S A MONSTER! KILL IT! GET RID OF IT! IT'S SWALLOWED SASUKE! HELP!" Ino started running around in circles and picked up her javelin and started swinging it.

"DIE MONSTER DIE!" Ino swung the javelin at the "monster", hitting it in its …er….sensitive areas.

"INO! IT'S DARTH VADER, NOT A MONSTER! THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN KILL HIM…IS…TO….ERR….JUST KEEP SWINGING THE JAVELIN THERE!" Sakura screamed, and picked up a ginormous pan and started whacking it at Darth Vader's head.

Temari just shook her head, "You guys, that's Sasuke….he dressed up in that costume, remember? This is just a Darth Vader costume –not the real thing, right Deidera?"

Deidera nodded, enjoying the fashion show immensely, "Yeah…Temari…say, I should come here more often…yeah…."

Sakura and Ino stopped swinging their weapons.

"Sasuke?"

"Is that really you?"

Darth Vader tried unscrewing his head but to no avail. It kept staying on.

"AHH! IT'S REALLY DARTH VADER…YEAH! RUN AWAY! KISAME, HELP!" Deidera started running around in circles along with Ino, who was twitching madly while Sakura swung her pan at Darth Vader again and again.

"WHY…WON'T ….YOU…DIE?" Sakura shrieked.

Temari sighed as she took in the scene, from the partially destroyed kitchen to the sleeping Shikamaru to a Darth Vader who was trying to take his head off to Sakura who was trying to make sure that no more little future Vaders would be running around 10 years from now.

"You guys, just STOP!"

Everybody froze.

"Sasuke, here, let me help you take off the mask…" Temari walked up and managed to unscrew the Darth Vader head.

"Never….have….me…..wear….that….again….i …..need……to…….restore…..my……clan…..you…..know….." Sasuke said between pants and was clutching his area in pain.

"Sasuke, are you okay? I can heal you with my chakra….i'm really sorry for hitting you…with that …er…pan….." Sakura tried comforting Sasuke as she stripped him of the costume until he was in his Emergency Exit boxers and started healing him.

What just happened? I can't believe she actually thought I was Darth Vader…..

Just play it cool….now leave me alone, Sakura's healing us and I can't concentrate when you're bothering me…oh, and one word of advice: NEVER wear lipstick or mascara –you're turning into Orochimaru…

Hn…

Sakura finished healing Sasuke and he put his regular clothes back on.

"Okay…now what?" Temari asked, getting bored after taking as many pictures of Sasuke in the Darth Vader costume being whacked to death so there would be a low percent that little Uchihas would be running around soon.

Temari was soon relieved from her temporary boredom when someone unexpected popped up.

"HEY OH YOUTHFUL FRIENDS! HAVE YOU SEEN MYYOUTHFUL SPANDEX OUTFIT? IT IS UNYOUTHFUL TO STEAL, YOU KNOW, AND I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO WEAR…" Lee popped up in the middle of the room with green TIGHT boxers.

Deidera gaped at him, "Um….why……is……your…..chest…..not…..hairy?"

Lee's brows furrowed, making it seem as if he had a unibrow, "What do you mean? My chest is non-hairy…is there something unyouthful about it? Gai-sensei's chest is like that too…."

"Well…..yeah…..but……..the……rest…..of…..your…..body……is…..covered…..in….hair….." Sakura glanced at Lee's very hairy arms and legs and looked up at the smooth chest.

"Do…..you……er……shave……it?" Temari asked, eyebrow twitching. She was picking up Sakura's bad habits.

"Oh, no. Shaving is unyouthful….." Lee said.

"Then….what do you do…yeah?" Deidera asked.

"Oh, I WAX IT!"

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So, what do you think? I tried to use most of your ideas and some that I got at school –my social studies teacher was acting out how it'd look like if you got stabbed by a javelin and mock-poked someone with an imaginary bow. It was so funny that I had to include it in here somewhere…XD….anyways, I hope you liked it even though it's not as funny as the others. Next chapter will focus more on Itachi, I think, but I haven't gotten that far –homework is killing me…oh, and I'll try to update Attack of the Inners tommorrow….

Anyways, REVIEW! And THANK YOU TO MY AWESOME REVIEWERS! YOU GUYS ROCK!

Darth Vader –O.O

Rock Lee