Hey! I'm sorry that this is a day late, but I have a really good reason…see, I'm usually a straight A student but I got an 85 on my Geometry Honors quiz and so I was up studying geometry w/ my mom for 4 hours yesterday so I didn't have any time to update…but the good news is that I have really good ideas. Most of what will happen in this chapter really happened to me…so…yeah….XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…if any of you have any good/funny disclaimers, feel free to pm me…XD

ON WIT THE FIC!

----------------------

OO

"Like…yeah….you WAX it?" Deidera asked, his eyebrow twitching. It seems as if he's picking up some bad habits too…

"Yep! Isn't it YOUTHFUL!"

By this time, everyone had been scarred for life.

"Lee…just….go….away…" Sakura said, as Lee started blowing imaginary kisses in her direction.

"YOSH! I WILL NOT DISTURB THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH THAT RUNS THROUGH YOUR VEINS! YOSH! I WILL GO AND ASK GAI-SENSEI FOR SOME MORE GREEN SPANDEX! YOSH!"

And with that, Lee teleported out of the locked room, leaving some very irritated ninjas behind.

"He could have at least gotten us out of here…" Temari muttered, leaning against the wall, "You Konoha ninjas are so immature…"

"Hey, you're stuck here, too…" Ino said, clenching her fists.

"Look…girls, just calm down…you're being too troublesome…" Shikamaru said, awaking from his comatose state.

"Look, why don't we just find a way to get out of here…" Sasuke said, shoving his hands back into his white shorts. He started looking at the room, searching the corners for cracks and all.

"Hey, can you use your chidori?" Sakura asked.

"Well…I could try, but then the whole first floor would collapse on us…" Sasuke said.

"Okay…then what do we do?"

Suddenly, there was a knocking at the door. All five ninjas turned towards the door.

-------------------

Tsunade and the other Jounin, including Jiraiya were sitting on the floor, biting their fingernails.

"I wonder what'll happen…" Tsunade said, biting her fingernails.

Jiraiya yawned, "There's nothing happening…like, there's no plot….I thought that Itachi was going to hook up Sasuke with Sakura…but so far, nothing has happened…"

"Hey, it's not my fault that Sasuke's weird…" Itachi had somehow appeared with Sai in the room.

"Well…if you're so bored, why don't you just do something else…like read the Bible or something?" Tsunade snapped, mad that her apprentice wasn't procreating yet.

"Fine, I will…" Jiraiya hmphed as he pulled out a little pocket Bible from his pocket.

The ninjas resumed watching the screen where Sakura was walking towards the door.

(Fifteen minutes later)

"Hey…Tsunade…guess what I just learned?"

Tsunade turned towards the blushing sannin.

This cannot be good if he's blushing… Jiraiya started, "Well, did you know that when guys are born…"

Someone started knocking at the door. A minute later, Naruto walked in.

"Naruto, what did I tell you about waiting for me to summon you in before coming in?" Tsunade said.

"Wait…Jiraiya, continue…I wanna know what happens when guys are born…" Naruto said, interrupting Tsunade.

"Er…kid, you might not wanna know…" Jiraiya said, fidgeting.

"Hey, it's not gonna hurt…after all, you learned it from the Bible…" Tsunade said, interested in what Jiraiya had to say.

"Fine..you asked for it…anyways, when Jewish boys are born, it's custom for them to cut off part of their…er…"

Pop!

Sai suddenly appeared in the room and spoke before Tsunade could yell at him for not knocking.

"Yo Naruto….are you Jewish? Cuz…I mean, with you being close to dickless and all, people would assume things…"

Naruto growled, "I'M NOT JEWISH!"

Meanwhile, Tsunade was twitching her eyebrow.

"You…learned….this….from….the….Bible….?" She said, pointing a shaking finger in Jiraiya's direction.

"Yep! Aren't you proud of me?"

"You are way too perverted, Ero-sennin…." Naruto said, shaking his head.

"Well…as long as they keep them in their pants, I'm happy…" Shizune said, shaking her head and causing Kakashi and the others to start laughing.

"AAAHHHH!"

Naruto turned his head to the direction of the sound, and saw that it was the TV screen.

"Hey…what is Sakura-chan doing there?" Naruto said, pointing to the screen.

"Er….yeah…." Kakashi said, not wanting to tell Naruto the whole story.

"Well…they're locked up in a morgue, if you want to know the truth…" Itachi smirked, loving the confused expression that appeared on Naruto's face as he told him.

"Huh? Which morgue?"

"The Konoha morgue, dickless…" Sai said, drawing Naruto's expression on his sketchpad at the advice of Itachi.

"Oh…well, I'm gonna go save Sakura-chan!" Naruto crowed.

"You have to bring someone with you that knows how to get there though…" Kakashi pointed out, an evil plan forming in his head as he winked at Itachi and Sai, who smirked knowingly.

"Fine…uh….I'll bring…er…HINATA-CHAN!" Naruto said enthusiastically.

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask as Itachi grinned, knowing what Kakashi was up to.

"Well, you go with Hinata and leave us alone, okay, dickless?" Itachi was beginning to pick up Sai's bad habits.

"Hey! That's my line!" Sai said.

"But I said it first…anyways, let's watch what'll happen to dickless…" Itachi said, turning his attention back to the screen.

---------------------------------

(at the morgue)

"Umm…Naruto-kun…w-what is t-this?…." Hinata said, pointing at the open coffin.

"Hmm…I don't know…Lemme check it out…" Naruto started walking towards the coffin but ended up tripping and falling head-first into the secret passageway.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata cried.

"It's alright…I'm okay! Hey, you know what? This place is kinda cool…why don't you come down here, Hinata!" Naruto screamed up.

"O-okay…"

Whoosh.

Hinata landed onto the stone passageway, and the two made their way towards the door at the end of the corridor.

"Hey, what are those voices? They sound like Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme…"

As they got closer, they heard screams.

"We have to get closer! Come on, Hinata!" Naruto dragged poor Hinata to the doorway and kicked open the door. What they both saw momentarily blinded them.

"Eek…Kisame…get…off…of…me…yeah…" Deidera managed to squeak out as Kisame fell on top of him.

"The Loch…Ness…didn't…want….to….break….up….with…. me…" Kisame moaned.

Meanwhile, Sakura was helping Kisame heal his wounds but it wasn't really working.

"Kisame…what did the Loch Ness do to you?"

"Er…she had some…'fun' with me…." Kisame groaned, as he put his hands on his aching "area", "You have no idea what it's like being the uke…"

Needless to say, with Hinata and Naruto looking on with untrained eyes, they assumed the worst.

"AAHHH! THE AKATSUKI ARE GAY! HELP!" Naruto screeched.

"Well…it was pretty obvious…I mean, they wear cloaks with big fluffy clouds….what kind of fashion statement is that? And purple nail polish? Come on!" Ino said, huffing at the lack of fashion.

"Hey! I'm not gay…yeah! I…just….have no time to date…yeah!" Deidera said, his voice muffled beneath Kisame.

"Did he just say that he's not gay and that he dates apes?" Sakura said, shaking her head.

"Hn…" Sasuke said, finally talking after his area had stopped killing him.

"Sasuke…"

"Hn…"

"What are you wearing?" All eyes turned to Sasuke, who was beginning to blush.

"A shirt..you got a problem with that?"

"No…I mean, when I fell asleep on you, I felt something hard under that shirt…are you wearing a girdle?"

"…No…"

"You are! Admit it!" Sakura cried, glad that she was embarrassing the Uchiha.

Deidera, who was still under Kisame misheard.

"mff…Sasuke's a girl?….yeah….that means SAKURA'S A LESBIAN!Yeah…" Deidera said, his eyes popping out.

"NO! SAKURA-CHAN IS A LESBIAN!" Naruto screeched.

"D-don't worry…N-naruto-kun…I'll be there for you…." Hinata comforted the fox-boy, who was screaming his head off.

"I AM NOT A LESBIAN!" Sakura screamed, fed up with the stares she was getting.

"Then why do you like a girl?" Naruto asked, calming down.

"I don't like a girl! I like Sasuke-kun!" Sakura screamed.

"But Sasuke's a girl!"

"He's not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"I AM NOT A GIRL AND I AM NOT WEARING A GIRDLE!" Sasuke screamed, getting fed up with people thinking that he was a girl.

Naruto, not hearing Sasuke, continued talking to Sakura. (let's just say that Naruto's deaf, okay? XD)

"So…what does he do with you, Sakura? Does he flash you?" Naruto asked, "Like, LOOK, THERE'S A QUARTER!" Naruto said, bending down. (okay, if you didn't get that, just think about it. What do people do when they flash you? They usually take off their shirt OR they bend down so you can look down their shirt…Naruto's just doing the old "look, there's a quarter" trick…XD)

"He didn't do that, baka!" Sakura hit Naruto on the head a few times before Hinata stopped her.

"Thanks Hinata…I needed that…"

"N-no problem…"

-----------------------------------------------

(Hokage's office)

"Oh my god…you're student's a girl!" Tsunade said, laughing at Kakashi.

"He's not! See, he just yelled that he wasn't a second ago!"

"But no one's listening to him!" Tsunade shrieked, collapsing into another fit of giggles.

"So that's why he's been single his whole life…" Itachi mused, " I never knew I actually had a sister…"

"Hey, you guys…they just found a way out of the place…" Sai said, suddenly alert.

The rest of the Jounin turned their attention back to the screen.

-----------------------------

"Hey! Naruto! Don't let that door shut!" Sakura screamed as the door started creaking and moving again.

Naruto turned around and started leaping towards the closing door.

3

2

1

Creak! "YES! NARUTO, YOU'RE THE BEST!"

Naruto had somehow gotten the door to stop closing and now the ninjas were streaming out of the room.

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(Hokage's office)

"Hey, Kakashi, Sai…we have to think of a way to get out of this…" Itachi said, getting worried.

"Here's an idea…RUN!"

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So, how'd you like that? This took me about an hour and my fingers are KILLING me! So, in order to thank my poor pinky, please review! Oh, and I'm thinking of doing InoShikaTema…..that way, it'll be a threesome throughout the whole story…anyways, if you guys have any ideas of how Sasuke and the rest of the ninjas are going to torture Sai, Itachi, and Kakashi, ideas are WELCOME! (thank you, all you WONDERFUL reviewers who have reviewed or who are going to review)

Oh, and btw, I'm not going to update Attack of the Inners till Friday cuz I have this HUGE geometry test tommorrow –see, I would have updated this fic yesterday and Attack of the Inners today, but I was doing geometry all day yesterday, so I'm REALLY sorry…anyways, I tried making this chappie extra funny for all you fans out there, and btw, the quarter incident and the Bible incident really happened –my friends told me about what they learned from the Bible, and I was like, "you guys are way too perverted…" XD…I just had to put that here somewhere, so yeah…anyways,

Ja ne!