Chapter 15

Hey! What's up? I got a 94 on my geometry test and I'm really bored now so I guess I'll just update. Btw, most of the events in this chapter, especially the one with the nun, is based on real life situations…yeah…except that the manga I was reading had a half naked guy in it and the nun was like, wtf? Anyways, I won't give away anything else about the chappie, so ON WITH THE FIC! I'd also like to thank all my faithful reviewers cuz w/o them, this would have been over a long time ago…anyways, let's start.

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah…I'll never own Naruto…otherwise, sasuke would make more appearances…and neji would smile more….XD

-----------------------------------------------------/

Sakura was mad…very mad…and she was going to get back at Sai, Itachi, and Kakashi for trapping her in a morgue for 2 days. Rubbing her hands evilly, she began the chase.

(5 minutes later)

"KAKASHI, ITACHI, AND SAI, YOU ARE GOING DOWN!" Sakura screamed, finding the three guys and chasing them.

"Where are we gonna hide? It's gonna be impossible if she keeps chasing us like this…" Sai huffed as they kept running, dodging through shops and carts and civilians who were in the middle of the street.

Suddenly, Itachi stopped.

"Ooh! Look! There's the Uchiha symbol!" He pointed to a truck driving by.

Kakashi sighed, "Itachi…that's the Pepsi sign…."

"Oh…"

"YOU GUYS! WE'RE STILL BEING CHASED BY UGLY!" Sai screamed as he ran passed them.

"WHERE ARE WE RUNNING TOO? WHERE ARE WE GONNA HIDE!" Itachi asked Sai and Kakashi.

"TO THE LIBRARY! SO THAT WAY, SHE CAN'T ALERT EVERYONE AND SHE CAN'T RUN AROUND AND THERE ARE LOTSA BOOKS THERE TOO!" Kakashi screamed.

"GOOD IDEA!"

(At the library)

"KAKASHI! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Sakura screamed as she entered the library after searching through the other stores.

"Miss, you'll need to quiet down and use your library voice if you want to remain here," a pissed off nun appeared in front of Sakura, blocking her way.

"Sorry.." Sakura continued to search the library.

First off was the juevenile fiction section.

(in the nonfiction section)

"Do you think she'll see us?" Itachi asked, worried about his beautiful face since he didn't want Sakura to damage it.

"She better not since we still have to hook her up with Sasuke" Sai muttered, focussed on his book.

A nun walked by, supervising the area.

"And what are you reading there, mister?" she asked Sai, peering over at his borrowed Icha Icha Paradise Edition #6.

"Oh…this is….er….this….helps me….with….er…my art…." Sai managed to spit out as the others struggled to hold down their laughter.

"You mean, pictures of half-naked girls are helping you draw…" the nun looked skeptical.

"Well..yeah…I study human anatomy for my art class…" Sai said, unsure of where this was leading to.

"Oh well..that's all I wanted to know…you can keep reading."

The nun walked by Kakashi next, who was reading Jiraiya's infamous orange book.

"And you, sir, what are you reading?" The nun frowned, not pleased that Icha Icha Paradise was turning up in her little library.

"Oh, I have to prepare for my sex-ed class," Kakashi said, matter-of-factly, causing the other two ninjas to giggle.

The nun frowned and looked down upon them through her glasses.

All laughter stopped as the nun peered at Itachi, who was reading the Gils Gone Wild edition of Icha Icha Paradise.

"And what's your excuse, mister?" the nun asked threateningly.

Suddenly, Kakashi discovered where they were.

"You guys..we're in the CHURCH library.." he half-whispered.

Itachi gulped, and thought fast, trying to get his way out of the conversation with the nun.

"Um…well…my excuse is….that….I'm trying to play….er….matchmaker?" Itachi said hopefully.

The nun's face darkened as she processed what Itachi had said. Suddenly, an evil grin broke up upon her face as she cracked her knuckles.

"Wrong answer, darling…get prepared…" The nun suddenly looked very scary.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

THE END! (jk….)

"THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!" the nun screamed as she did Kakashi's signature jutsu.

"Hey, how'd she know my jutsu?" Kakashi asked Sai as they saw Itachi fly out the window and itno the air.

"Poor guy…" they both murmured.

However, it was much worse than they thought.

(outside with Itachi)

Sakura had found Itachi and was walking closer and closer, with an expression that matched the nun's as she had killed Itachi's butt.

"OW! SAKURA STOP! THAT HURTS! OW! I WANNA HAVE CHILDREN WHEN I GROW UP, YOU KNOW!"

Screams of pain continued for the next fifteen minutes.

"Sakura…please…stop…I….can…..explain….." Sai said, clutching his area.

"Fine, then tell me WHAT THE HECK you were thinking when you locked us up in a room for TWO FREAKING DAYS!"

"Well…you enjoyed it, didn't you?" Itachi scratched the back of his head.

"ITACHI!"

"Fine, fine…look, we were just trying to get you and Sasuke together….i mean, you should be with him…" Itachi said, wincing in anticipation of Sakura's fist.

However, none came.

"WHAT!" Sakura screamed, finally comprehending what Itachi had said.

(at the Hokage's office)

"Hey, you guys…guess what?" Jiraiya asked as he looked up from his new book, Romeo and Juliet.

"What?" Tsunade was getting tired of Jiraiya constantly interrupting her.

"I LOVE ROMEO AND JULIET! IT HAS SUCH GOOD INSPIRATION!"

"WHAT!" All the ninjas in the room turned to Jiraiya, who was currently so close to the book that he was practically making out with it. (eww…wrong thought….XD)

"Why?" Naruto asked, being his usual curious self.

"Well, listen to this line…"

All the ninjas waited as Jiraiya cleared his throat as they no longer paid attention to what was going on the screen.

"Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads; take it in what sense thou wilt" Jiraiya recited and then stopped, expecting a reaction.

However, all he got was stares.

"What does that mean?" Naruto asked, scratching his head.

"It means that Sampson is contemplating about whether to chop the girls' heads off or…"

Naruto interrupted him, "Well, we know what THAT means…but I don't get it…how does this go with your pervy books?"

"You didn't let me finish….Sampson is thinking about whether to behead the girls or to take their virginity….that's what a maidenhead is, duh…" Jiraiya said, matter-of-factly.

Everybody sweatdropped.

"See, that's what happens when you let them out of their pants," Shizune put in, causing everyone to giggle.

"I DON'T GET IT!" Naruto screamed, still not understanding it.

Tsunade took Naruto off to the side and started explaining the whole "concept" to him.

"You see…when a man and a woman love each other very much…"

Fifteen minutes later, wails were heard coming from the Kyuubi boy.

"And so you see, the last reason of why Shakespeare is an awesome inspiration is because of this line –'If love be rough with you, be rough with love'" Jiraiya said, again, expecting a reaction from the quiet and confused ninjas.

"It means that if love is rough, then just have sex…duh…"

Naruto started wailing again.

Shizune attempted at a shot at a conversation to help Naruto gather his senses once he stopped shrieking.

"Hey, did you hear? My boyfriend's boat was broken…" She started.

Jiraiya started collapsing into a fit of giggles.

"What! It was missing a sail! And then we had to drive five hours to buy another one!" Shizune said, oblivious to the other giggles coming from Tsunade and Tenten, who had appeared in the room silently with the Hyuuga, who was blushing.

"See, and then the engine was broken…see, it's main functions are to run and then get hard…." Shizune explained, "But we went boat racing after that though…"

That was it. Tsunade and Jiraiya cracked, giggling and laughing and crying at the same time.

"Your….boyfriend…has….a…..broken…..boat….with….no….sails….and….his….engine….was…..broken……and then you…..BOAT RACED!" Tsunade said between giggles.

"You guys, I didn't mean it THAT WAY!"

-----------------------------------------------------------/

So, what'd you think? If you didn't get the boat incident, then pm me…either that, or you're too innocent…actually, the boat incident, the nun incident with Sai (not Itachi or Kakashi), and the Romeo and Juliet incident are all real. The boat incident happened to my friend and she was telling us about it and then I started thinking wrong thoughts…XD…the nun incident with Sai actually happened to me and the Romeo and Juliet lines are real –and they DO mean those things too…don't ask me how I know –just check out Sparknotes or something…XD the lines are all in Act 1 in Scene 1 and in Scene 4.

Anyways, REVIEW! (thank you for all my AWESOME reviewers so far! You guys ROCK!)