SEASONS

By: willag

A few words before I begin:

I'd like to dedicate this story to Tsurusaki Eiri. I never actually wrote her a final review on her story "The Goddess Incarnate" – go read it now! – because I felt that no words could fully convey the depth of what I felt. So, instead, I decided to dedicate my first story to her. I felt it was much more appropriate and got the message of my gratitude and awe across better.

WARNING 1: This story contains some shounen-ai. No likey? No readie.

WARNING 2: The shounen-ai couple of focus is TsuSoka. No likey? In the wise words of the warning above: No readie.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yami no Matsuei, nor the characters within. Any attempts to do so have floundered and forced me to take up a new persona and leave everything behind. It's a hard life and I do not recommend it for weak.

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CHAPTER 1

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Tsuzuki was the type of person who liked to use cryptic messages and symbolism when expressing his feelings.

It was a mannerism Hisoka had to get used to. He hated it when people weren't forward and tried to tap-dance around problems they considered important. And because he was an empath, he could always tell when the matter was of significant value. So whenever someone would perform such heinous acts around him, true to his nature he would let his annoyance known… more often than not with acerbic words and a biting tongue.

He found out the hard way he couldn't do that around Tsuzuki. Or, at least, not anymore… not after Kyoto… not if he wanted Tsuzuki to open up to him. The times where Tsuzuki was in the mood to do so were few and far between (though he was slowly making improvement) that Hisoka had to make sure to take as much care as possible whenever the opportunity arose.

Hisoka came to this realization the second time Tsuzuki ever tried to open up to him. It was about two months after the Kyoto incident. It was raining outside at the time, and both of them were lazing around Hisoka's bungalow (he'd followed Tsuzuki's footsteps and bought his own house, or was at least making monthly payments on it to gradually pay it off, instead of staying in a cramped apartment). Tsuzuki had positioned himself on the couch in the den so that he was greedily occupying the whole space, such that Hisoka would have had to sit down on top of the lazy bum in order to be near him without sitting on the floor – the empath had a feeling the older shinigami did that on purpose just for that exact reason… Tsuzuki could be manipulative if he really wanted to.

Anyways, Hisoka sat on the other side of the living room in the lazy chair reading a book while Tsuzuki stared out the window. It started off with a few apprehensive static shocks that caused Hisoka's skin to twitch and tingle and his hair to stand on end. In order to control such dry emotions Hisoka had to lather his psyche with thick moisturizers like placidity and serenity. And because those were two of the hardest emotions to conjure up on the spot – especially in such a frayed and jumpy atmosphere – Hisoka had to keep constant concentration throughout the whole hour Tsuzuki was projecting those feelings. The tension multiplied until finally it all came to a head with one final bolt that made the empath jump in his seat. And then words came out of his partner's mouth.

"It's raining quite hard outside."

No fucking duh, the disgruntled shinigami thought. But he kept that to himself.

"Very hard even. Washing everything away… trying to clean and purify everything it touches. There's said to be a magical force in the rain."

Hisoka stayed quiet with much, much self-control.

Tsuzuki was silent for a couple more minutes before continuing. "And though the rain does help clean away the dirt that has clotted up the surface, it can't do anything to reach the inside. For all of its hard work, it fails to help where it is most needed. It can only keep up appearances and make things look better than what they seem. The mask is still there."

What the hell is the idiot talking about? Rain and masks? What does that have to do with anything?

"Yet, even for all of its pitfalls, I would have to agree that there is a magical force in the rain… just not for the reasons that most people think. I believe that its power comes from its ability to not give up. Even when the stakes are down, even when it has only influenced in the slightest bit, even if it only hurts more than helps, it still never gives up. It comes back time and time again in hopes of making everything better. It's magical in that it continues to fight. It's an inspiration."

By this point, Hisoka had reached his limit. His nerves were grating on him from Tsuzuki's apprehension beforehand, and just when he thought they were finally getting somewhere Tsuzuki had to go ruin that by spouting poetics.

"Idiot, stop pussy-footing around this second and just get to the point."

The second the words finished leaving his mouth he realized his mistake. He did not mean for them to come out as harshly as they did. And he definitely shouldn't have sounded so pissed off about it. Looking across the room to his partner, Hisoka watched as Tsuzuki immediately clamped his lips shut and turn his head to the side so as not to be seen.

Fucking hell, I've just immediately taken ten steps back! He had been waiting for another moment to come like this in almost two months. Two months! Right after the fire, Tsuzuki had shared a heartfelt talk with him, opening up a little, and then immediately fell back into old routine. And now, just when his partner had decided to open up again, Hisoka had to go open his damn mouth and ruin it all.

He tried apologizing several times afterwards in hopes of getting Tsuzuki to open up again, but every time he tried his partner would just wave his hands saying that there was no reason to apologize and grin a big, fake smile.

Hisoka never actually found out what Tsuzuki was trying to get to that day – all other talks afterwards reflected whatever mood the amethyst-eyed shinigami was in and generally focused on a certain situation going on at the time. But a common occurrence each and every time was that Tsuzuki would use symbolism. And after each talk, Hisoka would reflect over what was said and decipher the deeper meaning. He had a few assumptions about the rain analogy: how crying only applied fleeting relief from the pain, yet the important part wasn't about trying to find relief but to just express emotion (telling Hisoka to be more open with his emotions); how Tsuzuki couldn't do all the healing himself and needed others (a plea for help to Hisoka); or that (and this was the embarrassing one) Hisoka WAS the rain trying to help out and Tsuzuki was admiring his strength and expressing his appreciation. Hisoka just simply did not know, and he probably wouldn't ever know. But at least now he knew his mistake and could prevent it from happening again.

Patience definitely wasn't his strength. That was Tsuzuki's virtue… or one of his virtues. The man could wait patiently for anything and everything except sweets. He either had adopted the mindset that he had the rest of forever to wait (which Hisoka highly doubted considering that Tsuzuki wasn't someone who seemed fond of the idea of eternity, or at least the eternity that was his afterlife) or was naturally like that (which Hisoka was much more inclined to believe).

Anyways, Hisoka himself wasn't patient… he felt that he had used up all of his patience waiting for death to come. Plus, he was always naturally someone who liked to take action instead of waiting. He put up the façade that he was restrained, in order to be treated like an adult (a lesson he carried with him from his life as a Kurosaki), but on the inside he was brimming with impulsive energy and the desire to break free from all restraints and bad memories. It would take time though, which brought him right back to the whole patience problem. So if it wasn't something he couldn't escape, then there was no time like the present to learn and master it. Tsuzuki's presence would help, and Hisoka couldn't ask for a better inspiration than to help his guilt-driven partner to open up more.

And he seemed to be learning well. He definitely wasn't as frustrated anymore, which was something that Tsuzuki appeared to have picked up on as well. Just in the past month, the more experienced shinigami had opened up three times – two being all Tsuzuki and one being a conversation between the both of them.

It was a recent development to ask Hisoka to open up as well. To prompt him with questions that would make him think over things that he wasn't comfortable with yet. And though the discussion was cut short – leaving both sides hanging precariously off the edge of a cliff, fingertips being the only life-line preventing them from dropping into the black void beneath – it still had a lasting effect on Hisoka.

The conversation was simple enough. It started during their lunch break; both had settled upon eating at a quaint establishment they'd come to adore: Hisoka liked the calm and non-invasive atmosphere and Tsuzuki loved the homemade apple pie the place served. While eating his favorite dessert (and occasionally bugging Hisoka to have some, with the younger man not-quite-so-reluctantly accepting the offer), Tsuzuki made an off-hand comment about the changing trees outside and how autumn was his favorite time of the year.

"I hate autumn. It's my least favorite season," Hisoka replied and turned his gaze to the trees outside the window.

Hisoka could even feel the eyebrow that Tsuzuki was undoubtedly raising. A little clang and scrape informed him that his partner had put down his fork. He took a quick peek over and was introduced to the sight of his partner with a contemplative look on his face, hands folded underneath his chin, and gaze focused on him.

Why did I have to go and open my big damn mouth?

Hisoka started to blush, the glow painting his cheeks a brilliant red. He refused to look over at his smirking partner again, keeping his gaze settled on the safer sites outside.

Tsuzuki's response was to start chuckling softly and then lean over the table to poke Hisoka's available left cheek. He can be such a cutie!

In retaliation to Tsuzuki considering him cute, Hisoka immediately turned his head in order to give the sweet-loving man a piece of his mind, only to stop cold when he realized the close proximity of the man's face. There was only about an inch of space in between their noses, and the mirthful shinigami immediately caught Hisoka's gaze with his own piercing one. If it was possible, the insecure young man's blush became hotter and brighter. He knew he needed to tear his gaze away from Tsuzuki's eyes, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't. They were too alluring, the emotions hidden within too captivating.

If this is what drowning felt like, then he wished he could have died like this.

They stayed in that position for several minutes until Tsuzuki, evidently satisfied with what he had found, nodded his head once and sat back down in his seat. Confused and slightly thrown off by the older man's behavior, it took Hisoka a few seconds to finally bring his train of thought back to the here-and-now rational frame of mind. No, he wasn't floating in a tranquil lake of amethyst and silver, and, yes, everyone in the diner was now staring in their general direction and whispering.

God damnit! That's just my luck!

He hated unwanted attention. Attention over his age, attention over his appearance, attention over his scars and curse marks, attention over the antics of his partner… most especially the overwhelming attention his partner often received from most everyone he met. Arousal, sexual attraction, repulsion, curiosity, pity, anger… it didn't matter the attention. If they didn't genuinely care for Tsuzuki's well-being, Hisoka didn't trust them and did everything in his power to keep their grimy hands and wandering eyes off of his partner (and even if they did genuinely care, he would often still get jealous).

And while this particular attention wasn't exactly in that category – though those high school girls sitting in the table over there were emitting extremely potent waves of envy, to which he replied with the sharpest glare he could muster that was enough to make them squirm in their seats and quickly wave the waitress over – it was still unwanted. He figured it would have to be lumped underneath the "attention over the antics of his partner" category, and that was generally never a pleasant experience.

The disgust from that married couple a few of tables behind Tsuzuki was turning his stomach inside out, making Hisoka wish he didn't eat those few bites of pie.

…Oh, yes, definitely unpleasant.

He was just about to walk over there and give them a piece of his mind, when he felt another's hand lay down on top of his. Projected feelings of comfort, calmness, and a certain disregard for what everyone else thought crossed over through the connection to sooth his agitation. Tsuzuki…

Hisoka, it doesn't matter. Just focus only on me.

He hesitated a moment, wary of what this would mean, what this gesture implied, even if Tsuzuki hadn't meant it so. He started to pull back, slowly slipping out of his partner's grip, but stopped the second he felt Tsuzuki's rejection and pain. It squeezed his heart and caused his muscles to contract spasmodically.

No, no, no no no! This wasn't what he wanted! He didn't want to hurt Tsuzuki! Not at all! Yes, he still feared intimacy… he feared what he never received, he feared what was hard to comprehend. Yet that fear was slowly starting to mend. Instead, he pulled away because, because…

I want it so bad.

And he didn't know how to handle that desire. He hated not being in control. No, more than hated… it terrified him. For every time it had happened in his existence, Hisoka was hurt, betrayed, and broken just a little bit more. These DESIRES went against every lesson he learned. He WANTED to lose control. He WANTED to give some of the power up to someone else. He WANTED, more than anything else, this relationship with Tsuzuki. Even if it left him vulnerable, even if took decades, centuries, millennia to develop, he still wanted it.

The voices in his head – his common sense, his memories – they screamed at him to nip it the bud right now before it could be given the chance to bloom. And yet, while they were convincing, Hisoka needed to be sure. He needed confirmation.

Slowly, he brought his eyes up to stare into Tsuzuki's own, and saw shining in those gorgeous orbs the same fear and desire mirroring his own heart. And that right there made the decision.

He tightened his grip upon his partner's hands and focused his attention on only that connection. And after a while, nothing else mattered. Not the people, not the emotions, not the fear, not the desire, not the past, not the future… just now, here, with Tsuzuki.

---

Tsuzuki, at first, was shocked with the development. For sure he thought he had ruined things with Hisoka when he became too bold just a minute ago. Watching his young, precious partner try to close off and pull away hurt Tsuzuki extremely. Yet, before completely breaking the connection, Hisoka stopped.

Never before in his existence did a minute move so painstakingly slow.

And now here he was, sharing one of the most loving, intimate moments ever with the only person still in existence – Ruka, may you rest in peace – that he wanted to experience it with.

Choking on the thick emotions that were knotting up and coating his throat – my emotions never physically affected me like this… is Hisoka projecting? – and feeling his eyes misting, Tsuzuki started to rub his thumb back and forth on the back of Hisoka's hand in a comforting motion. And then, the most amazing thing happened…

Hisoka smiled.

It wasn't very noticeable, barely even a slight upturn of the mouth, but being so made it no less breathtaking. Heart speeding up to maddening levels, Tsuzuki returned the gesture with a small, heartfelt one of his own.

He wasn't certain how long they stayed like that, but eventually they were the only ones left in the little diner and Tsuzuki's plate had been replaced with a check, trivialities neither one of them had noticed at first but were now suddenly obvious. Looking around and trying to figure out what brought him out of his daze in the first place, he finally noticed the little waitress who was making careful glances at them and clearing her throat in an apologetic manner while occasionally looking over her shoulder. Looking further beyond her, he noticed an older man, probably her manager, staring unabashedly at them in a slightly distasteful way. He could compare it to a toned-down version of Terazuma's ugly mug when the man-beast was without his cancer sticks. Woops, they had over-welcomed their stay.

Bringing his attention back to his partner, he could tell how uncomfortable the young man was. His hand wasn't in Tsuzuki's own anymore; instead, it was in his pocket, digging around for the money needed to pay the tab so as to get the hell out. Pulling out a bill, which was practically twice the amount the price of the food, he watched his partner consider it a second before finally slamming it down on the table and standing up. Tsuzuki got the message loud and clear: screw the change.

Walking out of the quaint diner and down the street, Tsuzuki couldn't help taking one quick look back. Well, darn, it looked like they weren't going to be visiting the place in a while. And the pie there really was good. He shrugged his shoulders. Oh well. Turning his gaze away, he glanced at Hisoka for a second before remembering they were on a time limit. Looking down at his watch, he discovered that they still had ten minutes before their lunch break was over.

What to do? He wanted to avoid work as long as possible, but without a plausible reason for not heading back right away Hisoka was just going to end up dragging him back at this moment. That's when he noticed a leaf float by his face and suddenly remembered what it was he wanted to ask his partner earlier. Now, just to get that excuse-er… reason working.

"Hey, Hisoka, do you mind if we just took a walk for a while before heading back? We still have ten minutes. Pleeeease!"

"Okay," came the subdued response.

Ready to go into full, blown-out, cute puppy mode, Tsuzuki was completely thrown off by his partner's agreeable attitude. Is he feeling all right?

His gaze traveled to Hisoka's arms, which were currently covered by red sleeves from the sweater he was wearing. He was tempted to pull them up, Hisoka's privacy be damned, and check and see if the boy's curse marks were flaring; but in the end he lost his nerve, fearful of the temperamental young man's reaction. Instead, he stepped into the youth's path, forcing him to stop, and settled his hands on Hisoka's shoulders while bending down to be at eye level. Staring into his partner's emerald eyes for the second time that day, Tsuzuki searched them for a second before opening his mouth.

"Are you feeling okay, Soka?"

He watched as the snarl quickly spread across Hisoka's face. "Of course I am, idiot! Don't baby me!" And he crossed his arms over his chest.

Relieved with the response, Tsuzuki started to laugh.

"And just what is so amusing?"

Tsuzuki was practically glowing as he smiled down to his adorable partner. Tapping the irritated cutie pie – I hope he didn't hear that one, or else I'll soon be a twice-dead man – on the nose he practically cooed out, "Why, you are! I was worried you weren't feeling well, because of your mellow, out-of-character response earlier. But now you're back to normal and grouching at me again."

Hisoka blushed and averted his gaze. "I don't grouch," he said half-heartedly.

Tsuzuki ruffled his hair. "Of course you don't. I was just trying to get you to blush again."

Hisoka's blush only deepened a thicker shade.

Stepping away from his partner, Tsuzuki started to turn around before looking over his shoulder and stopping. "And don't let that man in the restaurant get you down, Soka. Let him make his own assumptions. He's just acting like any other ignorant, judgmental fool. He doesn't know better." With that, Tsuzuki winked and continued on walking while whistling some unknown tune.

---

Caught off guard with the older man's insight into his thoughts, Hisoka stayed still for a few seconds before shaking himself out of his shock and taking off after Tsuzuki. After catching up with said man, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked alongside him to… wherever they were going.

The uncomfortable silence – on his part at least – reigned for only half a minute, thankfully.

"Hey, Hisoka?"

"Hmm?"

"Er… uh, remember at the restaurant when you, uh, said you hate autumn?"

He sighed. Perhaps silence was the better alternative. "Yes, I remember."

"Well, um…" Tsuzuki paused and brought his right hand up to scratch the side of his face before sliding it through his hair and ending at the nape of his neck where he began rubbing the muscles there.

Deciding to put his patience to the test, Hisoka stood silently waiting for the man to continue. He wasn't able to stop his foot from tapping however, his nerves getting the better of him. Tsuzuki stared down at his foot and immediately picked up where he left off.

"Why do you hate it so much?"

Hisoka crossed his arms in front of his chest and focused his gaze over to his own reflection in a store's window to the right. He could feel himself automatically putting up extra shields and defenses in response to his growing discomfort. He knew that Tsuzuki was eventually going to expect something back – for him to open up as well. It was bound to happen – a shift in their relationship to become more dynamic and two-way. He had just hoped it wouldn't be for a while.

I don't know if I'm ready for this yet.

He glanced over at Tsuzuki. Though the man looked for all the world to not care, Hisoka knew otherwise. Strange enough, while he couldn't feel the dejection with his empathic sense – when did he fully raise his barriers? – he could still read it as clear as day in his partner's eyes. It hurt Hisoka to see it… enough that even though he still wasn't completely ready to share, he felt he should try for Tsuzuki.

"It's… more of a gut feeling than anything else. And I'm still not really certain myself."

Hisoka glared at his reflection in the window. Now if that wasn't a load of bullshit. Yes, it was a gut feeling, but one that grew from a symbolic correlation to his life. Much like a dove represented hope or the dark represented fear, autumn held a deeper meaning for Hisoka. And he was aware of what it was… he just didn't know how to express it in words. Right now, it was composed of jumbled feelings, abstract ideas, and nightmarish memories. How to explain it to make someone understand? With poetic metaphors and analogies? That was Tsuzuki's territory. Hisoka could be as introspective as Tsuzuki, just not as profound or eloquent. He preferred working with facts, dates, and calculations – everything rational and concrete.

And so here he was, in a bind and lying about it to his partner. He owed it to Tsuzuki to at least tell the truth and say he knew what he was feeling but didn't know how to express it. His glare grew frigid with his disgust.

I'm a damn hypocritical coward.

---

Tsuzuki had been watching the frustrated empath the whole time and could see the struggle he was having with himself. It was a feeling – gross and horrifying as it was – he could relate to, one that he'd been dealing with day-in and day-out for as long as he could remember. His disgust and guilt were as real and tangent as his flesh, overwhelming him until at one point they were all he could recognize.

Hisoka's sudden presence into his routine was what eventually ended up saving him: he became a soothing balm in a time of torment and madness. And though the pain was still there, it was only a part of him now buried underneath a clutter of other feelings. To watch his partner suffer through the same experience scared Tsuzuki more than he could imagine.

Reaching over, he tenderly grasped his precious partner's hand and entwined their fingers into a tightly woven pattern of flesh, scars, bones, and pulsing heartbeats. Staring down at the connection, Tsuzuki marveled at how smooth and delicate Hisoka's slightly dwarfed hands were – a stark contrast from his own rough and worn ones. But underneath flowed an unbelievably strong, unbending determination rivaled by none. It was yet another attribute on the constantly growing list of all the things Tsuzuki loved about the empath. And as he held the young man's hand, he made certain to loudly project those thoughts of admiration and awe.

As expected, the tell-tale blush came out of hiding once again, but rather than overwhelming the young empath's face as usual it stayed meek and coy. The situation was probably the first, Tsuzuki realized, where Hisoka didn't react with such ferocity to affection. One could even say he was relaxed, and maybe even slightly timid. It gave Tsuzuki hope that his partner was slowly but surely beginning to accept such feelings directed at him.

He gave a small smile and squeezed the young man's hand to show how appreciative and proud he was. It was a small improvement, but it was in the right direction. No matter how long it took, he would get Hisoka to open up more to him.

Once he was certain everything was settled once again, Tsuzuki's attention drew back to the original topic. He still wanted his question answered, but it looked like he would have to take a different path to get there. He just had to find another way around the empath's insecurities.

"So, then, what's your favorite season?"

---

Hisoka relaxed. He appreciated Tsuzuki's attempt to change topics. After realizing what the question was asking, he took a second to think it over.

"I don't have a favorite."

"No?" came the disappointed voice.

"No." A slight pause. "But there are two that I have a particular affinity for."

"Yes? And they are?"

"Winter and spring."

Whatever response Hisoka had been expecting, it surely wasn't what Tsuzuki replied with. The man started chuckling.

A bit offended, Hisoka pulled his hand out of Tsuzuki's and crossed his arms across his chest.

"And just what the hell is so funny?"

Hisoka watched as his partner shook his head and successfully contain his laughter but did not stop from smiling. "Ah, ah, nothing," came the response. He replied with the frostiest glare he could muster. Apparently noticing his discontent with the answer, Tsuzuki continued.

"I just found the irony amusing. I always figured that autumn would be your favorite season and winter and summer would be your least. You don't have enough meat on your bones to stay comfortable during the cold season, and you never do well in the heat."

Tsuzuki was referring to his weak body stature without outright saying it, knowing it was a touchy subject for the temperamental young man… and for a good reason too. After wasting away for three years, he died with a malnourished, pathetic excuse for a body. And though being a shinigami provided him with a brand new, healthy, more durable body, it still was built exactly the way his previous form was: skinny, gangly, pale, bruised and damaged. He required about twice as much the amount of energy in comparison to the rest of the shinigami in order to put forth the same amount of effort (which he couldn't get from food because he wasn't used to eating large quantities), and he didn't fare well in temperature extremes on either end of the spectrum. It was a harsh truth to come to grips with, but he would never be on par with Tsuzuki, at least never physically.

Hisoka scowled. "Well, gee, you idiot, I guess that's why I wear sweaters during the winter and I'm not too active during the summer. Besides, if you're focusing on the temperature aspect, be sure to remember that autumn gets quite chilled as well."

"Maa, Sokaaaaa! You know that autumn doesn't get as cold as the winter! The weather is quite mild in comparison!"

"And you know I like the rain," Hisoka continued. "So why not spring?"

"Er, well…" Tsuzuki played with his hands and scuffed his foot along the sidewalk. Hisoka could tell that Tsuzuki knew he wouldn't like the answer. "There are thunderstorms."

That hit another sore spot within the empath. Normally, most kids got over their fear of thunderstorms at a young age if they ever had them at all. Hisoka never did, which Tsuzuki ended up finding out one night during an assignment: they had to share a hotel room together and the weather turned really nasty a little after midnight – he ended up falling asleep in his partner's arms with tears streaming down his face. The thunderstorms always ended up dragging him back to a time when he was alone in a dark basement with no one to comfort him through his fears. Every fear he had ever conquered was done on his own until Tsuzuki came along. Thunderstorms were just one of those he had never overcome. They reminded him too much of his father.

He mentally shook himself to stop that train of thought. Nothing good ever came of it, and he was better than that. Frowning slightly and bringing his arms down to the side, Hisoka attempted to relax before continuing.

"Yeah, well, you're only focusing on superficial ideas like weather. Why I ultimately do or do not like a certain season has nothing to do with such trivial matters."

"Well, then why?" prompted Tsuzuki.

At this point, it was a battle of nerves. Tsuzuki's nervousness and anticipation coupled with his own dread and discomfort left him in a shaking, bundled wreck. His stomach was doing flips, his heart was throbbing furiously in his ears, his right calf was about to cramp, his hands were jittery, and his eyelids wanted to blink at least three times more than usual. He was able to suppress most of these actions though, or at least the outwardly obvious ones (yet he couldn't keep from clenching and unclenching his fists).

"What is your least favorite season?" he questioned, attempting to get the focus off of him.

Tsuzuki's eyes widened slightly before he bit his bottom lip and began rubbing the muscles on his neck. "Eh heh, you see, it's quite amusing, because I have two. I mean, it's not amusing because I have two, but rather because of what the two of them, uh, are. They're, well…" he paused for a second, "winter and spring."

This time Hisoka laughed, but it was more of a disbelieving snort than anything else. Oh, the irony of the situation. They were opposites; two sides of the same coin. Zero compatibility indeed.

"So why are they your least favorite?"

"Why is autumn your least favorite?"

Hisoka raised his eyebrows slightly, not really surprised with the response but still dreading it all the same. He knew what Tsuzuki was doing – putting the ball in his court, so to speak. The man was attempting to get Hisoka to open up with him; and there was no better way to ensure that than to the force the empath to make the first move. With this, Tsuzuki would agree to share once Hisoka shared first.

And Hisoka was too curious and too damn desperate to have Tsuzuki open up to him to pass this opportunity up. Besides, from the way things were shifting, it appeared that all future sessions were going to be two-sided conversations. If he wanted to get anywhere he was going to have to start sharing more at some point. And there was no better time than the present to learn.

Too bad he was still nervous to nauseating proportions.

Tsuzuki gave a half-smile and ruffled his hair. "You don't have to answer now. Just do so whenever you're ready. I'll wait for forever if need be, so take your time and don't worry."

Hisoka blushed slightly as Tsuzuki backed away a bit and looked down at his watch.

"Awwww, man! We're three minutes late now! Tatsumi's gonna have my hide! Waaah, it's not fair!"

Hisoka shifted his gaze to the sidewalk below and mumbled, "Idiot." Taking a deep breath, he looked into his partner's eyes. "C'mon, then, let's go and get this over with."

Before teleporting to Meifu, however, Hisoka tentatively grasped Tsuzuki's hand with his own.

I know you told me you'd wait forever, but neither one of us wants that. Neither one of us needs that. I promise to you – I PROMISE TO YOU – I'll share with you soon. Because we both need this. Just wait a little bit longer, and I'll find my courage. I promise you this.

And then they both disappeared.

------------------

A/N: Okay, I'd first like to point out that this was originally only meant to be a one-shot, but then it just grew and grew and grew. Because a division was already planned to be within the story (set between two different days) – and because this part alone (without the beginning and ending notes) is 5,569 words – I've decided to split it into two chapters.

This story is my response against the sudden rise of all of the evil MuTsu fics popping up as of late. (And now I know I've made quite a few enemies… sweat). Truly, I have nothing against you MuTsu fans! Honestly! I just question your couple of choice. But that's all personal preference. Anyways, I felt the TsuSoka love was dropping as of late and had to counter it with one of my own.

And on that note: OMG! I'm actually posting something! No one else other than me would understand my excitement. I swear to all that's holy that I've begun writing at least 10 other stories, but have never finished a stinkin' one. And I know I have ideas for about 30 stories total – 8 alone for YnM. This is just the first time I have ever actually finished enough of one to post. I've finally had enough inspiration and determination to do so (Tsuzuki and Hisoka are big inspirations themselves).

I've discovered that one-shots are my best bet. Just this chapter alone took about two weeks. I'm a slow, nitpicky perfectionist who reads and checks over everything she has written in previous days before typing new stuff. I am obsessive. I think this chapter alone had at least 10 read-overs. And for the really deep parts, I could spend around an hour just getting a paragraph in.

My second chapter is already three pages in. So expect it finished soon (my ideal choice is by tomorrow, but I'm ripping a hole in my side laughing so hard over that thought because it seems so unlikely). I'd like to finish this one holiday one-shot I have in mind before Christmas comes, so I need to finish this one ASAP! Or I might just put it off until the holiday TsuSoka fic is finished. We'll see what happens.

Please R&R! Thank you!