Disclaimer: I tried to check for all the papers and documents in my filing cabinat, then remembered I didn't have one. No docs or papers either. Funny, huh?

Seed Survival Guide - Chapter 2

A note from the editor: Due to the success of the 'Island Survival Guide', we have decided to post the guide to dealing with crazy blonde clones. Mr Zala and Mr Asuka have once again agreed to sacrifice their time and energy to save you aspiring soldiers some real trouble. Please understand that, once again, they've spent many sleepless nights on this project, so we ask of you to show respect. Insomnia is hard to pull off when you're trying to stay awake and trying to work.

A note from the writers: As stated above, the time spent on this project was long and all consuming, so we ask for no complaints. We did get one for the last guide, and the genius had decided to read it after crashing on the island. We do hope that person is alright, though, and that the guide got them through the night. However, we cannot and refuse to take responsibility for anything that may have occured. Now, onto this guide. Many people requested a guide for crazy blonde clones and, after much thought, we have realised that they are right. The crazy blonde clones are far more dangerous then the crazy blonde chicks. So, once again we ask of you to PAY ATTENTION and READ FULLY. May this save you much trouble and pain.

Rules:

1: Once again, you will get injuired when dealing with crazy blonde clones. You will need your fully stocked first aid kit, and if you can manage to fit a councelor in there, do! It will come in handy when you're emotionally traumatised.

2: The crazy blonde clone will try to become close to you, whether it be as your friend or the father you believed lost. We recommend you keep the relationship purely professional and distant. They are commrades, nothing more. If you can't do this, then for gods' sakes get the councelors ready!

3: Ah, the pain of leaving. You may have to betray the crazy blonde clones. DO NOT TRY THIS MORE THAN ONCE! If you do, the first aid kit will not cover your injuires!

4: Coffee. Simple, yes, but it works as well with these as with the chicks. It stops you from doing something overly stupid!

5: It is always good to have someone at your back when dealing with crazy blonde clones. Though the type of backup will vary as much as the crazy blonde clones age. If the crazy blonde clone's old, then two or three ships, heavy artilary and someone to smack you upside the head when you start to doubt whether you should be fighting your second father should do the trick. If the clone is young, then a cute redhead, a powerful mobile suit and a definate smack upside the head should be all you need. Oh, and you might want to abuse your poor councelor again.

6: Always nick powerful mobile suits. It usually helps.

7: The clone will die. This will leave you in one or two positions after the battle. Running like hell from an explosion, or balling your eyes out in your girlfriend's arms. If you can do both, well and good, it combines an adrenalin rush with an emotional moment. If you can't do both, opt for crying in your girlfriend's arms, the adrenlin you can do without. Sorta, maybe... trust us on this one, alright?

8: Nightmares. These will occur for ages afterwards. Either start suffering from insomnia, or start drinking something that soothes your nerves.

End note: Note quite as long as the crazy blonde chicks, but we believe it is just as important. We hope you have read this through, and we hope it has been read before dealing with the crazy blonde clone. Thank you... Oh, alright, our editor has told us to mention one more rule. She's female, go figure. If you're a male, happily skim by this rule, it doesn't apply to you. At least, unless you lean that way...

9: The crazy blonde clone will undoubtedly be good looking. If you're female, try to avoid him altogether.

Editor again: I thank you for reading this. It has been wonderful to be given the chance to present it to you, and I know our two writers feel the same way. I am happy to inform you that Mr Zala and Mr Asuka have consented to write another guide. (Pretty soon they will be complaining about over work.) The guide that is too come is how to deal with crazy redheads. We hope to find you wonderful intelligent people back for that one! Thank you and good luck!