Smart. Beautiful. Dead.

Self Destruct

Dean's jaw tightened as he shot a glare at his father. He stumbled to his feet, felt sick to his stomach, wanted to scream and yell, cry and sob, wanted to wake up next to her and realize this was all a nightmare.

"What happened to her, where is she?" Sam asked again his voice panicked. John dropped the stake that he had been holding which caught Sam's eye.

"I see you got the vampires?" he added worried.

"Yeah" John murmured awkwardly.

"We have to go before more of them show up, we can't take them on" Dean mumbled clumsily gathering stakes and guns into his arms.

"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on, where is Eve??" Sam ordered feeling left out of the loop.

Dean stumbled upon her jacket that she had taken off. He dropped the various objects he had been cradling and picked it up. Smelt it, held it.

"She got bitten" John told, his voice low. Sam was at a loss for words, didn't want to hear what came next. His eyes fell upon the bloodied dagger "Please tell me you didn't?"

"I had to" John mumbled rubbing his blood cover hands together.

"No you didn't, you didn't have to!" Dean exhaled burying his face into her jacket, he could still smell that lavender shampoo she used.

"You killed her?" Sam asked staring dumbfounded at his father.

"I HAD TO!!" John yelled in defense "I had to Sam, I had to..."

Dean tried not to cry again, especially not in front of Sam, but as he saw her in his mind, that last image of her, in pain, helpless, scared, dying, a tear fell onto his cheek which glowed red with anger. A strange feeling started to rise in his stomach, vengeance. He had felt it before, oh yes he had felt it. Felt the urge to help his father avenge his mum. Felt the want to kill the demon who took away Sam's girlfriend. Yeah he had felt it. But he was sure it wasn't the same as how John and Sam had experienced it. He hardly knew his mother, didn't know Jess at all. This was different. He loved Eve, everything about her. And John had taken her away. It seemed only natural want to get pay back. But this was his father. He had always sworn never to let anything get between them. After all this was his only family, but she was part of that. She could have been saved; he would have done anything to save her.

"You didn't have to" Dean mumbled clapping out of the trance he was in.

"She would have killed you" John pointed out.

Dean turned of his heel and approached his father.

"I don't care, I would rather have died then lose her, exactly the way you would have felt about mom, you should never have done that" Dean hissed out under tears his face only centimeters from Johns.

"Hey, hey" Sam interrupted pulling them apart "Dean's right we have to go"

Dean's arm swung to push Sam away "Get off me"

"You" he said gesturing toward his father "Have controlled my life from day one. Trained me to become this way, taught me how to kill, hunt, you never taught me anything that might actually be useful for me, only things that would help you, help you find what killed mom. And now you kill the only woman I've ever loved. You had to? You could have helped me for once in your sorry sad fucking life, you could have helped me save her but instead you do what you always do, you kill" Deans voice was shaky and full of distain.

"De..." John started

"No, fucking save it, save it for all the sorrys that you owe Sam" Dean said condescendingly before gathering a few guns and stakes into his arms then stalking out in the dark forest, headed toward his car.