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Chapter Five:
The Hard Question
"I don't want full leave, but I don't think that I should be out in the field at the moment."
"Ok then," Dixon leaned back in his chair. "May I ask what brought on this decision?"
Vaughn hesitated. "I received a call from Lauren's doctor. She said…she…" he paused. "It's a matter of days…and I am in no right frame of mind to concentrate on ops. I would never forgive myself if I endangered another agent."
Dixon nodded. "Fair enough…there should be no problem in processing your request."
"Thank you," Vaughn said, and then turned to walk out of the office.
"And Vaughn," Dixon said after him.
"Yeah?"
"If you need anything else, we are all here."
"I know," Vaughn said quietly, and then walked out of the office.
From across the JTF, two pairs of eyes were watching Vaughn, taking in his expression and demeanour as he exited Dixon's office. Eyebrows raised, Sydney and Weiss both looked at each other questioningly. After a second, she gave him a nod. 'You go,' her eyes read. And so, Weiss rose from his desk and headed over to his friend.
"Hey," he said. "What's going on?
"I just pulled myself off active duty," Vaughn replied, as he gathered up some papers from his desk.
"What?" Weiss could not keep the surprise out of his voice. "Why?"
"Because I got a call from Dr Emery- she wants to perform a C-section sometime in the next week," Vaughn said, looking Weiss directly in the eyes. "Suffice to say, my concentration at the moment is not exactly optimal."
"Vaughn, look I—"
"Weiss," Vaughn cut in, though not angrily. "There's really nothing else to be said. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am taking the rest of the day off. If you need me, I'll be at home. If not, I'll see you tomorrow."
It was early evening when Vaughn finally heard a knock on his door. He had been expecting it all day, and before he had even opened it, he knew exactly who would be standing there.
"Hello Sydney."
She walked in, her eyes scrutinizing him intently. "Weiss told me everything.
Vaughn sighed. "I figured he would."
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Well what?" Sydney threw up her hands. "Vaughn, this is huge- good huge or bad huge, I'm not sure. But here you…" she trailed off, as her eyes travelled around the living room and kitchen. Abruptly, she turned on her heel and walked towards the door of Vaughn's spare room. Throwing it open, she revealed a stark and empty room. Her brow furrowing into a frown, Sydney whirled back around to look at Vaughn.
"Vaughn, is there any part of you that actually wants this baby?" she demanded.
He blinked. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me," she replied, taking a step towards him. "Look around this place. It doesn't exactly resemble somewhere for a person to bring a child in." she looked back into the spare room. "Have you brought anything, Vaughn? A cot? A change table? A dummy? Nappies?"
Vaughn was looking distinctly uncomfortable. "I, uh… I haven't exactly gotten around to it."
"Haven't got around to it or deliberately pushed it aside?" Sydney asked.
Vaughn didn't reply. Moments like these were some of the pitfalls of Sydney knowing him so well.
"Vaughn," she said, her tone gentle. "It's pretty obvious that you are prepared to be become a father. What's not so obvious is whether you actually want to be a father."
"Sydney—"
"I know that this situation is far from clear cut, but you need to figure out where you stand…do you want to raise this child?"
"I don't know!" Vaughn blurted out. "And I know what you're thinking- how can I not know? But I just don't, ok."
"Vaughn," Sydney put a hand in his shoulder. "I'm not judging you."
"I know you're not," he said and then inhaled deeply. "The thought has crossed my mind, that perhaps I shouldn't keep this baby. But there is just something that stops me from pursuing it further. I know that there is no way that I can make a decision until I do this thing for real and see whether I am cut out for it."
"Vaughn," Sydney said quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Do you remember, not long after I came to CIA, that night on the pier?"
A ghost of a smile crossed Vaughn's face. "The night you threw your beeper in the Pacific."
Sydney let out a soft laugh. "Yeah…and it was also the night that you told me, that whenever I felt at my lowest, that I had your number. Do you remember that?"
Vaughn gave a short nod. "Hmm."
"Well, I just want to make sure that you know that that deal goes both ways."
"I knew that," Vaughn replied. "But it is comforting to be reminded every now and then."
"Uh Syd," Weiss stopped short, his expression completely daunted by the contents of the store around them. "I'm not sure if I am going to be much help I haven't had all that much experience with this…stuff."
"And you think I have?" Sydney asked.
Weiss didn't reply. Instead his brow was knitted with confusion as he picked up a box containing a breast pump. "What on earth is this supposed to do?"
Sydney swatted his hand. "Put that down. We are here for the essentials for Vaughn- try reading the label instead of just looking at the picture. Do you think that he'll be needing that?"
Weiss's eyes widened slightly and he dropped the package as if it were a live bomb. "Okaaay…told you I had no experience."
"And that is why we are going to get some help," Sydney said, looking around for an assistant.
"Does Vaughn know that we are doing this?"
"Vaughn is still trying to come to terms with the fact that there will be a real, live baby at his place in a matter of a week. Us doing this is one less thing for him to worry about."
"So I should take that as a no?"
Sydney clicked her fingers. "Baby monitor," she said, ignoring Weiss's question. "I didn't put it on the list- don't let me forget it."
"Syd," Weiss grabbed her arm. "We aren't interfering are we?"
"Well, I guess we are," Sydney admitted. "But Vaughn will be grateful for it, trust me."
"Ok then, fine. But only if you promise to take the fall if Vaughn turns out to be not so grateful."
"Deal," Sydney said. "Now—"
"Hi," a sales assistant, with a nametag reading 'Abby', approached them. "Can I help you two at all?"
"Actually, you can," Sydney replied. "I have a whole list here and no idea where to start."
Abby smiled. "A little excited, are we?"
Weiss screwed up his nose. "Huh?"
Abby gave a subtle nod in the direction of Sydney's flat stomach. "You're getting in a tad early," she replied. "A bit eager, hey?"
Sydney and Weiss glanced at each other. It had truly not occurred to them how their appearance at a baby store would be construed, and they now had two options. Play along, or have the awkward task of trying to come up with an explanation as to why they were there.
Silently, Sydney raised her eyebrows at Weiss and he gave her a quick nod. 'What the hell,' he thought. The whole alias thing was a part of their job, after all.
Letting out a soft laugh, Sydney nodded at Abby. "Just a bit."
"As are most couples who come through here," Abby said. "First child?"
"Oh, it's my first," Sydney replied. "But its Eric's fifth," she added, ignoring the jab in the small of her back.
Abby's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, well congratulations." She gestured behind her. "How about we start with the cots?"
"That would be fantastic," Sydney said.
As Abby headed off, Weiss leaned into Sydney's ear. "My fifth?" he hissed.
"Don't be so uptight. It's a compliment to your young and virile state."
"Thanks," he snorted. "Oh, and by the way?"
"Yeah?"
"Next time you want to play couple in a baby store, why don't you send your sister along?"
"You and Weiss did what?" Vaughn asked.
"Is that ok?" Sydney replied on the other end of the line. "I thought it would be something less for you to worry about. If you don't want it all, then we can just return it."
"No, it's fine," Vaughn, said. "Thank you."
"Well, it is all at my place for whenever you want it."
"Um, I'll come by tomorrow- is that ok?"
"Yup. I'll see you then."
"Yeah, see you." Vaughn placed the phone back into the receiver. As grateful as he was for what Sydney and Weiss had done, it had left him feeling unsettled.
He was about to head into the bathroom when his phone rang again. he gave a wry smile, wondering just what Sydney had forgotten to tell him during their conversation.
"Hey Syd—"
"Agent Vaughn, this is Dr Emery."
Vaughn stomach clenched. 'Hang up,' a voice in his head screamed. 'Just hang up.'
"Agent Vaughn? Are you there?"
"Yes," his reply was barely audible.
"It's a girl," Dr Emery said. "You have a daughter."
