I really like this chapter, but I still don't own Fruits Basket. That's all I wanted to say.
Things were back to normal.
A week has passed since the trip. A new beginning was on the verge of coming.
I was working on a speech to give before the student council and the second-years. I just couldn't come up with anything to say. My pencil was as short as my index finger, as tiny as the one line on my paper.
I'd sharpened my pencil so often, but I hadn't figured it out until now.
Inattentive. Not like me at all.
In the corner of the sheet was her name. It wasn't like it was huge or in a giant heart, but still...
Very strange behavior.
I quickly erased it.
How wonderful. A hole.
Now I needed a new piece of paper.
So troublesome.
Trouble always follows when it comes to her.
At school, we existed in two different worlds. Motoko and her friends were entranced with the Prince. I kept my adoration for him a secret as I regulated the behavior around school.
Other than pestering me about the mystery of Yuki's council mates, which could or could not be female, we weren't around each other that much.
We were in two different galaxies.
And this should've given me relief. I wasn't the one who had to actively participate in her schemes. I wasn't subjected to hearing her loud, obnoxious voice. I could pass her in the halls without enduring her unwanted presence.
But suddenly I wanted her near me.
It was a very perplexing emotion. I've never felt it before.
It was so frustrating that I couldn't do anything about it.
My eyes slipped over the exam everyone around me was griping about. It was supposed to have been, like, "so hard" and "impossible to do." Blockheads.
I studied with barely any effort, and look at the shiny red A+ on my test!
"I won," I boasted softly to myself, smiling.
I got up and, with the permission of my teacher, walked out of the room.
The corridors were silent. Empty. Peaceful. I let loose a breath I had pent up in my throat. This was how it should always be. No useless, annoying chatter. Just nothing.
I ventured into the Boys' Room, but I wasn't in need of its services. The bathroom stall that I slipped into would have a different purpose. I locked the door, sighed loudly, and slid down the stall's wall. My head drowned in my shoulders, swinging between them like a door bothered into action by a listless breeze.
I was slumped on the floor.
Defeated.
By a girl.
I am by no means sexist. Women and men are each other's equal in every way. It was just this girl that had gotten to me, thus taking down her entire gender members with her.
I was sore against the female specimen, but did not exactly despise them, that was all I meant.
Calmed to some degree, I unlatched the door and walked out. I had no idea why that ritual always settled me down, but it did. However, the healing process wasn't over yet.
With my head still hanging low, both hands gripped the love handles of the sink. I looked into the mirror as I employed the use of liquid. Cold water pillaged my hands of warmth.
Then I smacked myself.
Hard.
With both hands.
"Makoto, what the hell is wrong with you?! You're so calm, collected, unaffected and you're letting your emotions rule you now?! This girl is nothing! Nothing, you hear me, NOTHING!!! Get it together, okay?!" And with that, I shook a fist at myself, intending to be encouraging when I actually looked menacing, like I was going to beat myself up.
Fate decided to shame me by bringing another presence through the door.
My holly-red face followed my sharply pivoted neck. The kid standing there looked like he was about to run or laugh, perhaps both.
"Exc--Excuse me!" I stammered. Bending at the waist like a door hinge, I raced out of the bathroom.
How embarrassing.
It's all her fault.
Well, I'll just forget it, I promised myself. And anyway, of course I didn't act like myself. Look at the facts. That day when I embraced her... I was temporarily insane with happiness. I wouldn't get in trouble or cause trouble if I found her, and I did. It was not because of some strange feelings.
And writing her name... She has caused me so much heartache! She won't apologize for being so negligent and selfish. I doubt she'll even show up for her punishment. Besides, I only wrote it once.
Thinking about her makes me feel ill.
That's all I feel for her, and all I'll ever feel for her.
The bell rang. As if by magic, children oozed out of the classrooms. It was only morning. I yawned. I wished school would end already. (I know, shocker!)
And speaking of the devil... That little wench was headed my way. As usual, she was flanked with her followers. Minami was dreamily looking up at the ceiling. Only one person could cause such a metamorphosis in her... And Mai was chattering, in her own world. But Motoko wore a grim expression.
What happened next, I swear, was out of my control.
I yelled Motoko's name, walked up to her, and took her arm while moving away, robbing her blond and brunette cronies of their president.
"Oh, no! Motoko's been president-napped!" Mai yelled. Minami's brown penny-loafer collided with my back as she yelled at me.
"Hey!"
I spun around, wondering why Motoko was so submissive. I didn't know why, but this worked in my favor, so I could take her... Wherever I wanted to take her. "If you stop me, I'll tell everyone about...it."
I didn't have any dirt on Minami, but she immediately paled as she looked down. She was no longer doggedly trying to save her. Mai was taking a nap on the floor... Jeez, that girl was so odd.
I flounced off with my bounty.
It was pretty awkward walking with her.
My hands tightly gripped hers. Motoko's hands were hot and moist. She dragged her gaze across the floor, tears filming over her eyes.
"Hey!" Dropping my hold, I turned to her. Her hands clasped each other as if afraid. She looked so pitiful, so defenseless and unlike herself at all that it startled me. "Why'd you let me drag you off like a wild animal? Don't you have any will?" I laughed hollowly. "You're such a strange girl."
"What do you want? I have class. I don't wanna be late."
Colorless.
If Motoko had to be described as a color, she would be a fighting red. But this dullness made her bloodless, without a soul.
I had to come up with an excuse for this bridge between worlds, and fast.
"You need to atone for what you've done," I told her. "You're so stupid. Did you really think you'd be able to escape punishment?" I let my hands find my hips. "After school. Clean the bathrooms."
She glared me down. "What?"
"'What?'" I mimicked. "You heard me. That's not coming from me, but the principal. I'm just relaying the message." Whew. Good thing I remembered.
"I can't."
"And why not?"
She avoided my eyes, using her toe to scratch the back of her leg. "Got stuff to do."
The tardy bell rained a juicy reprimand to the dawdlers in the hall. Just hearing it made me feel drenched in shame.
"Oh, really. Like what?"
"Just stuff! God, why are you so annoying?!"
"...Finally, a response," I intoned after my initial shock. I gave her a strained smirk. "At least you've found your voice again. I was getting worried there. Whatever you do, Motoko, don't ever lose your spirit."
I had to walk away after saying something so cool. Just like in a romantic manga!
Wait! There's no romance between us! There never was and never will be!
A frail butterfly wing hand settled on my shoulder. I swerved around again, sighing. I truly was tired of having to turn.
You know, those navy blue bows on the sides of her head were like giant butterflies.
Wow, I never noticed, but in the light, her hair had gold and red strands in it, like mini-highlights.
Her eyes seemed warm in the sun. How could it be that those eyes could look so soft and loving yet carry so much torment? What had made her so sad?
And why did I want to make this beautiful girl happy again?
Her downcast eyes bobbed to the surface, scorching right through the lenses of my glasses into my retinas. I swear I could feel the heat. "What? I should never lose my spirit?"
"Yes, you irksome person, you finally get it. With such a temper, you're never gonna find a man, are you? I can practically see the old maid in you, spinster on a rocking chair. But with that spirit, you may be able to find happiness. Plus, you're so good at denying the obvious," I scoffed. "Yuki doesn't love you and he never will. But when you're old and alone, you'll just blame it on the person he loves more than anyone. Actually, you should lose your spirit. Change yourself. Become more of a lady and less like a--"
I'd gone too far.
Maybe I'd said what I did to make her red again, powerful and spirited. But insulting her hadn't worked its magic.
Painstakingly calm, she said, "At least I'm not you."
Nausea waved through my stomach. I wanted to throw up. "What do you mean?"
Finally, fire reached her eyes again. "Always looking down on people, acting like this is your world and everyone in it has to adhere to your schedule. I'm sick of you, you know that? Everyone's sick of you, of your face, your personality, everything!!! Yes, I may be worthless, but at least I'm not you. You're so fond of telling people what to do and feel? Fine. I'll say it again: it's not your place to judge me. You're not so fucking important."
After that stomach-burning speech, she pulled back her arm so that it resembled a slingshot.
"Go to hell, Makoto," she hissed.
Her fist rushed at me, but only grazed my shoulder with its power.
"Mo--Motoko," I warned. "Attacking the president is--"
The wall crashed into her nose.
Her nose crashed into the wall.
And a giant howl rose through her throat.