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And My Heart Says…

A/N: A bit of angst. One small part doesn't quite read the way I want it but I thought better to post than to labor for days and days over a couple of sentences. Hope you don't mind.

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Chapter 3

Bullpen

"Tonight's the big night, isn't it?" smiled Bobby as he sat on Sue's desk. It was one of those rare times when the office was nearly deserted.

She nodded happily. "I'm kind of nervous because what if he's had second thoughts and wants to take back his proposal?"

"Never going to happen," Bobby declared firmly. "What man in his right mind wouldn't want to marry you? If he's changed his mind, put me at the top of your list of eligible suitors," he joked half-seriously. Life with Sue would be good, he thought. Lucky David.

She looked at him with a bemused gleam in her eyes. "What would Darcy say?"

"Oh, she always likes a challenge," he responded. "You two sheilas could fight over me," he suggested.

"That could be interesting," she nodded. "A rock-paper-and-stone duel at five paces?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of who could cook the best dinner," he stated. "You know what they say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Their light-hearted banter was interrupted when D walked through the door.

"Your idea to put surveillance on Andrea Winston worked," announced D with a smile. He plunked down the sheet of paper between Bobby and Sue. "SOG followed Andrea Winston and she led them directly to Vince George. They're being brought in for questioning as we speak."

"Why don't you two question Andrea Winston and I'll get Jack or Myles to come with me to talk to the boyfriend," suggested Bobby.

"All right."

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Interrogation Room

"We have the love letters you wrote to your boyfriend," D said showing her the evidence bag with the papers. "He's been identified as the person who pawned the stolen merchandise."

"That establishes a connection between Vince George and you," said Sue continuing the line of questioning. "We know the two of you were in it."

"What were your plans once you collected the insurance money?" asked D. "Run away together and sell the jewelry along the way?"

"Does Grant know I'm here?" Andrea Winston asked quietly.

"We were finally able to contact him in New York," said Sue. "He said he'll be here as soon as he can." She looked at his wife. "He's very concerned. He cares a lot about you."

A rueful expression appeared on Andrea Winston's face. "Contrary to what you may think, I do care about my husband."

"Then how did you get mixed up in all this?" asked a bewildered Sue.

Mrs. Winston was pensive. "When I met Grant, I was tired of modeling. I didn't want to work any more. I wanted something more stable in my life. Then Grant came along and he had the money and stature I wanted in a husband so I went after him."

"But he was already engaged."

The suspect shrugged. "She was nothing special and if he was really in love with her, I couldn't have come between them, don't you think?"

Sue and D shared glances. It was becoming apparent the people were like pawns to Andrea Winston to be used and discarded as necessary.

She continued, "I liked him and I thought that was enough for a marriage but it isn't…it wasn't…at least not for me."

Her words jolted Sue.

"Is that why you were having an affair with Vince George?" she asked.

Andrea's face softened. "That's different. It's not an affair. I love Vince in spite of all his faults," she admitted. "I know I can't change him unless he wants to but I thought if we had the money we could go away and start all over."

"What about your husband?" D brought up.

"Grant? I'm sorry if he's hurt but sometimes you have to do what you have to do and for me that's being with Vince."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to get a divorce?" suggested Sue. I thought it was enough for a marriage but it wasn't continued to echo in her mind.

"Couldn't," she answered shaking her head. "I signed a pre-nuptial agreement. If I divorced Grant for another man, I'd get nothing. I've gotten very accustomed to living the lifestyle I have."

"I see." It isn't enough…it isn't enough.

D and Sue exchanged looks. Andrea Winston seemed genuinely sorry her husband would be hurt but she didn't regret what she'd done either.

"We'll be holding the both of you until your husband decides if he wants to press charges or not," D informed her. He stood up and went out to signal for the officer to take her back to her holding cell.

"What do you think her husband's going to do?" Sue asked D after Andrea had been taken away.

"Probably drop the charges and give her that divorce," he guessed. "It just depends if he's the vindictive type or not. Since an insurance claim hasn't been filed yet, technically she hasn't committed a crime since she gave the jewelry to Vince George."

He patted her on the shoulder. "I'll go check to see how Bobby and Myles are doing with the boyfriend. Good work."

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Bobby rapped on Sue's desk. "Ready for that lunch?" he asked with a smile. "I know it's late but…" The smile disappeared when he saw the distressed look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"I don't feel hungry. Do you think we could go somewhere to talk?" she asked seriously.

"Of course."

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"What's wrong?" Bobby repeated breaking the silence that enveloped them from the office. "I thought you'd be pleased. We've solved the Winston case and tonight…tonight you'll make David a happy man and live happily ever after. Your own personal fairy tale come true."

"That's the problem," she said quietly. "I've changed my mind. I'm not marrying David."

He stopped abruptly stunned at her news. "Say what?"

"I'm the one that's supposed to be deaf…remember?" she joked pathetically.

"You're not marrying David?"

Sue shook her head.

"Why?" Bobby asked in astonishment. "This morning…this morning you were all set to tell David yes."

"This morning I didn't know what I know now."

"And what's that?"

"That liking someone is not a good enough reason to marry them."

"It's a start."

"Andrea Winston said she married her husband even though she wasn't in love with him," shared Sue. "She thought it was enough to like him but it wasn't…not when she fell in love with another man. " Her eyes met Bobby's. "I'm in the same situation with David."

"You're not Andrea Winston," he told her firmly. "You would never do that to David. You care about him…the man…not his money or position. Your situation is entirely different."

"Yes, I care about David…I care about him a great deal but I'm not in love with him," she said painfully. "It wouldn't be fair to him to accept his proposal feeling the way I do. He deserves to marry someone who's in love with him, not someone who only likes him."

"Don't you want to think about it?"

"I have."

Gazing at her solemn face, Bobby could clearly see the misery in Sue's eyes knowing how David would take the news. He would be hurt…terribly hurt.

Bobby wrapped his arms around her to offer her what little comfort he could. In a moment, Sue's arms circled him. The pair stood there thinking of the ramifications of her decision.

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Sue had dressed carefully for the occasion. David had told her to meet him at his favorite place and to bring Levi. He would be providing dinner and Nikita.

Her footsteps led her to the same arboretum where they shared their first glass of wine and first kiss. Candles were lit along the pathway—just like the first time. He was making it very difficult for her to say what she needed to say.

"Sue!" greeted David welcoming her with open arms. "You're looking lovely as always." He leaned in for a kiss. "The perfect way to start the evening," he smiled. "Here," he said handing her a flute of pineapple juice. "Remember?"

"I certainly do." She gestured to the place. "It all looks so wonderful," praised Sue. "It brings back a lot of memories."

"Pleasant ones I hope."

"That goes without saying."

He took her hand and led her to the blanket. "Sit," he commanded.

When she sat, he began to take dishes out of the hamper. "I hope you're hungry because I brought a lot of food.""

"Starved," she fibbed. "Let me help you."

"No," he said waving her off. "Tonight, you just sit back and relax." He took out the plates and utensils. "There. I think that's everything." He reached for his glass. "How 'bout a toast?"

"A toast?"

"To us." He looked meaningfully at her.

"David?" she began, "about there being an us."

"Yes?" he looked at her hopeful anticipation.

"I've thought about it long and hard just like you told me to," she said seriously.

"Okay," he nodded. "That's a good beginning that you listened to me."

"And I…I wish my answer was different but…," her voice trailed away.

"But," he echoed, disappointment dripping from that one syllable. "I was hoping for a different answer."

She gathered her words. "I care about you and I like you a lot, but I'm not in love with you," she told him earnestly. "You're such a special person, David. You deserve to marry someone who loves you the way you should be loved."

"I thought I did," he said disappointedly. He reached for her hand. "Are you sure?" he asked as he gazed into her eyes. He was making it difficult for her to retain her resolve.

"I am."

He looked away for a moment then sighed. "I kind of wondered since it was taking you so long for you to give me an answer. I thought if you were ready you would've said yes the day I proposed." He squeezed her hand. "Do you think we could still be friends?"

"I'd like that very much."

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After the initial awkwardness, dinner progressed quietly. Both of them tried just a little too hard to pretend that everything was fine but it wasn't. No matter how hard they tried, it would take a long while before they could become the friends they hoped they could be. His hurt and disappointment were carefully hidden but she could tell. She was tempted to change her answer each time David let his mask slip for a moment but she couldn't do it. David deserved a woman who would love him whole-heartedly. She didn't know why but she couldn't.

Since Lucy had dropped her off, David took her home.

"You can still change your mind," he said wistfully at the doorstep.

"Oh, David, I wish I felt differently," she said unhappily. "You're such a wonderful person."

"Then change your mind and say yes," he urged. "You know I love you."

She bit her lip. "I can't."

He sighed. "You can't blame a guy for trying." He looked at her and smiled. "You're one heck of a girl, Sue Thomas." He bent down to kiss her. "Good-bye," he said quietly. And he was gone.

Sue closed the door behind her. She knew she wouldn't be happy turning down David's proposal, but she didn't expect it to hurt this much. A tear slowly trailed down her cheek. She was miserable.

Lucy was sitting on the couch watching TV with a bowl of popcorn on her lap. At the sound of the door closing, she looked up.

"Hey! You're home early," she smiled. "How was dinner?"

One look at Sue's face and she immediately realized something was wrong. She put the bowl down and jumped up. A solicitous arm went around Sue's shoulder. "What happened?" she asked in concern. "You want to talk about it?"

Sue swallowed the lump in her throat. "I turned down his proposal."

"How'd he take it?" Lucy wasn't totally surprised. She suspected something was amiss when Sue had come back from questioning Andrea Winston but she had become so swamped with work she couldn't find the time to talk to her friend.

"With his usual grace and style." Sue tried to smile even as tears slipped down her cheeks. "He's hurt and I'm miserable. I don't know if I did the right thing, Lucy."

"Sure you did." Her friend tried to comfort her. "You may not think so now but you will one day."

"I hope it's sooner than later because it hurts so much now."

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"Bobby?"

"Lucy?" said a sleepy voice on the other end of the phone. "Isn't it a little early to be calling on a Saturday? It's…" he blinked his eyes to focus, "only seven. I was planning to have a bit of a lie-in."

"I'm sorry to bother you but it's Sue."

All vestiges of sleep disappeared instantly. "What about Sue? Is she all right?"

"She gave David her answer last night."

"How's she taking it?"

"You knew?"

"I noticed something was wrong so I asked. She told me she was turning him down."

"Well, now she's doubting herself…doubting if she made the right decision. She's miserable that she made David miserable. I think she cried herself to sleep last night."

His tender heart felt for Sue. "What would you like me to do?"

"Maybe you could casually drop by today. You know an I-was-in-the-neighborhood kind of thing. I'd stay with her but I'm supposed to go to this all day thing with my Mom today and I can't cancel on her at the last minute and I can't ask anyone else cause no one else knows he proposed to her--just you."

"All right. I understand. I'm to provide a shoulder to cry upon, an ear to listen or a hand to wipe away the tears should any of these moments arise during the course of the day."

"Correct."

"When do you want me to casually drop in?"

"Well, I have to leave in about an hour. Do you think you could be here by then? You could walk Levi and let her sleep in. I don't think she got much sleep last night."

"All right. An hour it is."

"I'll have some coffee waiting for you. And Bobby?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks for being such a good friend."

"That's what friends are for. I'll see you, Luce."

Bobby stared at the phone for a moment before putting it back. He'd have to hurry if he was going to be there in an hour. Grabbing his clothes, he went to take a shower. A small part of him was glad Sue had decided not to marry David but a much larger part of him was concerned about his kind-hearted friend. She must've been very upset to let Lucy see her cry.

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Sue woke up with a headache. She'd been so unhappy last night that she'd cried herself to sleep. It had been a long time since she last did that.

She glanced at the clock. It was already nine o'clock. Good thing she didn't have to go in today. She'd take a shower and have a nice leisurely breakfast and brood the rest of the day about her decision. She laughed wryly to herself. It was a depressing plan but it fit the mood she was in today.

As she selected her clothes, she noticed Levi wasn't in the bedroom. Lucy must've taken him out for his walk, she thought. She crossed the living room when the front door opened. Levi bounded in.

"Good morning, boy!" greeted Sue as he jumped up on her. "Had a good walk? Thanks, Lu…" startled eyes opened wide. It wasn't Lucy. "Bobby? What are you doing here?"

He smiled. "I was in the neighborhood so I thought I'd drop in."

"And walk Levi?" she looked at him skeptically. "You have to come up with a better excuse than that."

"I saw the light in your window?"

"It's daylight," she pointed out. "Lucy told you, didn't she?'

"So what if she did?"

"I'm fine," she protested ineffectively.

At his questioning look, she amended her statement, "I will be fine."

It won't be any time soon, he thought to himself. Not if the traces of tears were any indication. "Of course, you will," he said out loud. "However, if you'd like to talk about it you know I'd be…"

She put a hand on his arm. "I know," she said cutting him off gently. "But not now."

He nodded respecting her need for privacy for the moment. Deciding to change the subject, he eyed her attire and a dimple appeared.

"Cute jammies," he remarked. "I favor boats myself." Sue was wearing the short summer pajamas her mother had sent for her birthday. The thin material was covered with ducks.

Suddenly, Sue realized she was standing there talking to Bobby in almost next to nothing. She immediately held her clothes in front of her. "Um…shower….I was…I was on the way to take a shower," she gestured towards the bathroom.

"Need any help?" he asked his eyes twinkling in amusement.

"No!" she answered embarrassed as she walked backwards. "I'm fine. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be out in a jiffy."

"No rush," he assured her blandly. "Levi and I will be fine."

"You might want to fill his water dish," she advised peeking out from behind the door.

"I'll do that. Anything else?"

"Um…no. I'll be quick."

"If you need someone to scrub your back, let me know," he grinned.

Non-plussed at his offer, she stared at him for a moment before closing the door in his face.

Bobby's smile faded. She was just as miserable as Lucy said she was, he thought as he headed to the kitchen. Levi waited patiently as his water dish was filled.

"There you go, Levi. Enjoy," said Bobby placing the dish down. He poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Now what can we do to cheer Sue up?"

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"The next time you come over and I'm sleeping," said Sue over breakfast, "could you leave a sign on my door to say you're here? Then I could dress more appropriately."

"I thought you were dressed quite appropriately," he said solemnly his eyes alight with an impish gleam. "You were sleeping so you were in your jammies."

"You know what I mean."

He grinned. "What's on the agenda for today?" he asked changing the subject.

"My turn to vacuum the apartment and clean the bathroom. I'm also doing laundry. After that, the day is wide open."

"All right then. Why don't you start your laundry and do the bathroom while I vacuum?"

"I thought you were against vacuuming?"

"Only before breakfast. That would be cruel and inhuman punishment."

"Are you sure?" she asked doubtfully. "It is your day off."

"I'm positive. I love vacuuming!"

"I'm sure." She looked at him musingly. She knew what he was trying to do. "I don't need a babysitter, you know. I really am okay."

"No, you're not," he said firmly reaching for her hand. "Not yet, anyway." She still looked pale and he could see the unhappiness lurking in her eyes. "Sometimes it helps to have a bit of company…just in case."

She squeezed his hand gratefully. She was lucky to have such a good friend.

"Thanks."

He squeezed back and smiled. "Now where's the vacuum?"

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After completing the household chores, Bobby had convinced Sue a walk would be good for her and allow Levi to exercise as well.

"Fresh air, brisk exercise and of course, pleasant company will always make you feel a hundred per cent better," declared Bobby as they walked in the park. He noted the faint blush in her cheeks. She looked much better than she did this morning.

"Thank you, Dr. Manning, for your wonderful prescription," she acknowledged.

"Feeling better?"

"Much," she said appreciatively.

He glanced to see if she was looking at him. She was. "You want to talk about it now?"

"Are you going to pester me until I do?"

"Yes."

A small smile tugged at a corner of her lips. "I guess Lucy told you I was pretty miserable last night."

"Only last night?"

"Well, today, too."

"Having second thoughts?"

"No, I did the right thing but I didn't think it would hurt so much."

He stopped and clasped her hands between his. "Of course it hurts. You may not be in love with David but you still care for him. Just because you decided not to marry the bloke doesn't change that."

She stared into his sympathetic eyes and felt a bit of her guilt ease. "You've been watching Dr. Phil again, haven't you?"

"Every chance I get."

"Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder. You're a good friend, Bobby Manning."

"Any time."

"Bobby?"

"Yea?"

"I'd like to keep the details just between you, Lucy, and me."

"I understand." He bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

"What was that for?" she asked in surprise.

"It seemed the proper thing to do. C'mon," he said throwing his arm around her shoulder. "All this housecleaning and walking has made me thirsty. Let's get something to drink."

She smiled at his efforts to help her through this rough period in her life. "My treat."

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