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angdalton: The name is coming...

Chapter Nine:
Release, Reaction and Regret

"No, please listen to me. Before she was even born she had lost the chance of having a mother who would love her unconditionally, who would be there no matter what."

It was only then that Vaughn realized the similarities that existed between Sydney and his daughter. Similarities that made Sydney's words all the more personal, confronting and harder to hear.

"No mother," Sydney continued, "and now, by you acting the way you are, you are taking away her chance at a father also. How much is this little girl supposed to lose? She deserves to be loved, no matter who her mother is. And f you can't give her that, then it's time for you to let someone who can give her what she needs."

Without waiting for a reply, Sydney turned and headed towards the door. However, before opening it, she stopped and looked back at Vaughn.

"I suggest that you spend tonight seriously considering your options," she said quietly. "No one will judge you, no matter what you choose. But it's time that you made a decision- for this little girl's sake."

xxxxx

Sydney had barely been gone a minute when Vaughn's phone rang. Still stunned by Sydney's confrontation, he reached across for it, and answered, somewhat absentmindedly. "Hello."

"Agent Vaughn?"

He froze, knowing the voice on the other end too well for his own liking. "Yes," he replied dully.

"This is Dr Emery. I'm calling about Ms. Reed…"

"Look," Vaughn snapped before the doctor could say anymore. "I want nothing more to do with that woman. The baby is here, so therefore, I have no concern with her. I don't give a damn if I am 'technically' her next of kin. Wipe my name off whatever paperwork you have and find somebody else to plague with all of this."

"Agent Vaughn," Dr Emery's tone was commanding, forcing Vaughn to pay attention. "Ms Reed died an hour ago."

The release that Vaughn felt at that moment was like nothing he had ever experienced. In an instant he felt lighter, somehow. It was almost indescribable.

"She died?" he repeated, scared that he would wake up and this would all be revealed to be a cruel dream.

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"It would seem that she contracted an infection after the Caesarean," Dr Emery explained. "Had she been conscious, we may have picked up on it earlier, but all we had to go by was a spike in her fever. We tried antibiotics, but the infection had spread fast. There was nothing more that we could do."

"Right," Vaughn mumbled. "Now, if you'll excuse—"

"Just one more thing," Dr Emery said. "I know this isn't the best way to raise the topic, but what arrangements will need to be made for the body?"

"The CIA will take care of that," Vaughn replied. "She's not permitted a public grave. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go."

Hanging up the phone, Vaughn let out a loud sigh. Lauren was dead. Truly dead and out of his life forever. He was free.

'Not quite,' his mind said. 'At least, not yet.'

Nadia stared down at the peaceful baby, sleeping soundly in the cot that had been placed to the side of the living room.

"Sydney." She turned to her sister who was in the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"I have to say this- this whole situation is just weird." She looked back down at the baby. "We just spent the night caring for the baby of your former boyfriend, who was mothered by his psychopathic ex-wife, currently lying in a coma. I am trying to find even the smallest sense of normalcy, but it's just not happening."

Sydney's expression curled into a wry smile as she walked towards her sister. "I learnt long ago never to search for normalcy. Occasionally it will make an appearance, and so I make the most of it then. But never search, you'll only come up empty handed."

Nadia cocked her head. "You know, all this craziness just proves how much of an amazing friend you are."

"You think?" Sydney's nose crinkled slightly. "I keep going back to the way I stormed out of Vaughn's place, with his child and I can't help but think that I overstepped the help boundary somehow. Just when does everything become too much?"

"Don't give me that," Nadia said. "You did what you thought was best, and obviously it was the right thing to do."

"I know," Sydney sighed. "But maybe, I could have gone about it in a more appropriate way."

"What's done is done," Nadia said. "Now, I have to go into Operations. Do you want me to stop by during lunch?"

Sydney shook her head. "I should be fine. Hopefully, Vaughn will have contacted me by then."

A couple of hours later, Sydney was startled by a sharp rapping on her door. She hesitated before answering, trying to prepare herself for whatever reaction Vaughn might bestow upon her for what she had done. However, as it turned out, her worrying was over nothing.

"Dad?"

Jack stepped through the door frame. "Nadia told me why you called in sick. What are you doing caring for that baby, Sydney?"

"I'm—"

"I cannot believe that he has palmed—"

"Dad!" Sydney's tone was sharp. "Vaughn didn't palm anybody off. What exactly did Nadia tell you?"

"That the reason you weren't at work was because you were looking after Vaughn's daughter."

"Well, there is more to it than that," Sydney replied. "I sure that you can appreciate how difficult things are for Vaughn at the moment and so—"

"He gets somebody else to look after his little problem. I understand that the two of you have a history, Sydney, but surely this is a bit much."

Sydney crossed her arms. "I am not doing this for Vaughn. I am doing this for the baby's sake and that is all."

"The baby?"

"Yes, the baby whose father, at the moment, cannot bring himself to pick her up because she reminds him of her mother. I took her last night so she could be cared for entirely while her dad attempts to make a decision of what he wants to do."

"Vaughn said that- about the baby and Lauren?" Jack asked, his voice oddly quiet.

Sydney nodded. "And maybe I reacted rashly, but I couldn't leave her there. I just couldn't."

Jack let out a large sigh. "Well, perhaps my reaction was slightly rash too."

Sydney raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps?"

"I just…I just didn't want to see you being used and being dragged into this mess. A person shouldn't have to be involved with something like this once, let alone twice."

"I'm not going to be used, dad," Sydney said. "I am a stronger person that that. and as for your second concern, I am fine."

"Yes, uh, well," Jack cleared his throat. "I should probably go. I didn't tell anybody that I was leaving Operations. They might be worried."

"Ok then. I'll see you soon," Sydney said, a slight frown on forming on her face as she watched Jack walk towards his car. Since when did he care if people were worried about his whereabouts? She knew that would be the last thing on his mind. Obviously, the conversation had got a little too personal for his liking.

'Or,' Sydney thought, closing the door behind her, 'he's got somewhere more important to be.'

The loud incessant rapping did nothing to move Vaughn from his position on the couch. Instead, he just watched the second hand tick on his watch. 'They'll be gone soon,' he told himself. 'They'll be gone soon.'

But, he had not counted on it being Jack Bristow behind the door. The second the knocking stopped, Vaughn allowed himself to relax slightly, only to find himself leaping up as the door was forcibly shoved open.

"What the…Jack?" Vaughn's jaw dropped.

"Apparently, you have some serious lessons on hospitality to be learnt," Jack said as he walked towards him. "Lesson one. When somebody knocks on your door, it is common courtesy to answer it."

Vaughn's eyes narrowed. "Well, maybe you need some refresher courses. Where under common courtesy does barging through one's door uninvited come in?"

"Touché," Jack deadpanned. "I just came from Sydney's."

"So?"

"So, it would seem that you are getting a pretty sweet deal- free babysitting and all that."

Vaughn visibly bristled. "That is not—"

"She told me what happened last night."

"She did?" Vaughn seemed to falter.

"Yes. It would seem that Sydney is under the impression that you want nothing to do with your daughter because of her connection to Lauren."

Vaughn paused for several calculating seconds. "Why are you here, Jack?"

Jack shook his head slightly and closed his eyes, as if exasperated. "Do I really have to spell it out for you?"

"Well, I can assume why…" Vaughn sounded confused. "But why? Since when do you give a damn about me?"

"Since my daughter got involved." Jack snapped. "Granted, our experiences differ, but there are common basics. A child, a lying wife who continues to live regardless of her crimes—"

"Lauren's dead," Vaughn muttered.

"What?"

"Apparently, she contracted an infection- she died last night."

"I imagine that would be a weight off your shoulders," Jack mused aloud and Vaughn looked up sharply. Jack truly understood.

"Just a bit."

"And does this alter your attitude towards the child?"

Vaughn shook his head. "I feel the same and it's just…just…it's…"

"It's what?" Jack asked. 'I don't have time to listen to your splutter and stutter, so just say it."

There was something about Jack's bluntness that encouraged Vaughn. "I love her. I have since I first saw her. She's my daughter. But I keep thinking about…how do you do it, Jack?"

"How do I do what?"

"How do you look at Sydney and not see her mother? And not see the lie that she was created from?"

"Simple," Jack replied without hesitation. "When I look at Sydney, I see her as my daughter."

Vaughn ran a hand through his hair. 'I am terrified by the thought that she'll be like Lauren. That she will inherit traits of her mother."

"Oh, it's impossible that she wouldn't."

"Excuse me?" Vaughn said. That wasn't exactly the response that he was looking for.

"Sydney shares traits with Irina. I won't deny that. But strength, determination, feistiness and adaptability can be channelled both ways. For good or for bad. You need to remember that."

Vaughn sighed loudly. "You make it sound so easy."

"It's anything but," Jack said bluntly. "However, I just keep in mind that even with all the lies, manipulations and betrayals, Irina gave me a daughter. A gift that words cannot describe. And because I have Sydney in my life, I don't want to change what happened. She makes it all worth it and part of me will always be grateful to Irina for bringing such a person into my life."

Vaughn could not respond. He could not believe that Jack was telling him this. He was willing to bet his life that not even Sydney had ever heard these words spoken.

"It took me a long time to come to terms with all of that," Jack continued. "I don't regret my marriage. What I regret is the years I lost with Sydney because I allowed a memory of Irina to consume me. And that is my advice to you, Vaughn. Don't make the same mistake I did. Because, I guarantee you, in the years ahead, that is what you will come to lament."

A/N: Only one more chapter...