What?! Only one review?! I feel outraged! No, not really. At least the chapter got a lot of hits. I guess that will have to do for now.

Skittle Trees Exist: Thanks for the review. No, I don't think "rhythm" and "it" rhyme. But it was a good poem nonetheless.

So here it is. Chapter Two of the great saga of Tugging on a Rope...

Previously…

Orlando Bloom was chased by fangirls, Boromir went off to help James Bond, and Faramir was warning Aragorn of a giant sheep about to fall on both of them. While all of this happened, Aragorn continued to tug on his rope, oblivious to everything around him. It is in this dire situation that Chapter Two begins…

Aragorn tugged on the rope. "I must tug on the rope. I must."

Faramir glanced up at the massive sheep in the sky. How was he going to save Aragorn? Immediately a plan sprung into his mind. "Aragorn, look! It's Arwen!"

Even this didn't distract the future King of Gondor. As always, Aragorn continued tugging on the rope. "I must tug on the rope. I must do it. I must."

Thinking of nothing else, Faramir ran smack-dab into Aragorn, slamming them both to the ground. "I'm not letting you die, alone, Aragorn, King of Gondor, Elessar, the Elfstone, guy with lots of names! My brother! My captain! My king!"

Then Faramir realized it was really idiotic to kill himself along with Aragorn, so he jumped off and sprinted away. When he reached safety he spun back around to watch the great disaster about to unfold.

Aragorn, oblivious to all around him, continued to tug on the rope, even though he was lying on the ground with a giant sheep about to land on him. "I must tug the rope. I must tug it. I must."

Then Frodo and Sam walked up, carrying heavy packs. Frodo sighed. "This journey is so long. It makes me want to sing…"

Suddenly Legolas, Gandalf the Grey, Gimli, and Gandalf's brother, Pandalf the Pink, sprung up. Legolas had an electrical guitar, Gandalf the Grey played bass, Gimli took drums, and Pandalf, being very artistic, played the piano, a massive grand piano that had happened to be next to the rope. Even though they had no music in front of them and had obviously never used any musical instrument before, they broke into an epic melody accompanying Frodo's beautiful solo.

"This is the song that never ends; it goes on and on my friends…" Except Frodo was played by Elijah Wood, who had just finished voicing Mumble in Happy Feet, so he had an awful singing voice. So bad was it that the sheep imploded, raining lamb chops on the heroes. Soon Sam decided Frodo had killed off enough innocent animals, so he turned off the hobbit's mike. Realizing he had no chance at carrying a tune, Frodo started dancing.

Gandalf the Grey stared at him. "What are you doing, Frodo?"

The hobbit continued tap-dancing. "I feel happy, Pa."

"And what are you doing with your feet?"

Frodo looked down at his furry feet which were rapidly moving in a series of complex patterns that the author couldn't describe accurately so he created a long and overworked sentence. "They're happy too."

Faramir breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness you showed up. Aragorn was about to die, and then Gondor would have no king."

Sam scratched his head. "What about your dad?"

"Oh, he's only a steward."

Gandalf the White popped out of nowhere and whacked Faramir on the head. The son of the steward collapsed. Frodo gasped. "Gandalf?! Why did you do that?!"

"Practice, Frodo. Practice."

Then, Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White realized that they were the same character, so they both spontaneously combusted. Gimli and Legolas also left to braid each other's hair. Only Frodo, Sam, Faramir, and Pandalf the Pink remained. Oh, and there was Aragorn, who still tugged on the rope. "I must tug on the rope. I must."

Sam stared at the unconscious Faramir. "Well, that saves us a lot of trouble. Come on, Gollum, let's go."

Gollum ran up and tackled Sam from behind. The two became tangled in an atrocious melee and rolled away. Frodo chased after them. "Don't hurt him, Sam! He's so innocent! Don't hurt him, Sméagol! Though he does need the workout…"

Now only Aragorn and Pandalf still stood in the plains of Rohan. Pandalf, being a pointless OC, vanished into thin air. And then there was one… and his name was Aragorn.

"I must tug on the rope. I must."

Faramir opened his eyes. When he caught sight of Aragorn he realized that even though he had succeeded in stopping the evil sheep, he had not distracted the future King of Gondor from his rope tuggingness. Then the grammar police came and arrested Faramir, because tuggingness is not a weird. That explanes why a litle red line comes under it when your typing in Microsopht Office Word. Ah wel. Grammer class, hair I cum.

And so Aragorn continued his tugging on of the rope, repeating his normal phrase. "I must tug on the rope. I must. I must."

Will Aragorn ever stop tugging on the rope? Will someone else come up and randomly try to distract him? And just what is the purpose of the rope? To find the answers to these questions, stay tuned.