Yay! Chapter 3 of randomness! Hurray! Here are the reviewer responses:

Ulaire: Thanks for the review. Nice use of "lol"... Of course, do any of us really know what "lol" stands for? Do we?

Princess of Ithilien: It's my job to make you smile, ma'am. If you're smiling, I'm doing my job.

Katerina17: He might be. I don't really know why Aragorn must tug on the rope. That's why writing the story is so much fun.

ArodieltheElfofRohan: Rohan has Elves? Ha, just kidding. Yeah, I think there are plenty of people who would just keep on saying that... It must be fun.

And here it is, Chapter 3 of the Tugging on a Rope saga. Who will win? Who will fall? Oh, wait, this isn't the finale yet.

Never mind.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Okay, actually, it was bright and sunny, but that's not what matters. What does matter is what was happening in the plains of Rohan. Deep in the golden savannah stood Aragorn, tugging on his rope, whistling to himself. Every couple of minutes or so he would interrupt his whistled melody with his favorite words. "I must tug on the rope. I must."

Just then Arwen walked up, led by Orlando Bloom. The British actor pointed at the future King of Gondor. "This is what I was talking about, Arwen. Aragorn has lost his mind."

Arwen rushed to Aragorn's side. "Aragorn, my love…Why do you tug on this rope?"

But Aragorn ignored her. "I must tug on the rope. I must."

Orlando sighed. "He has been like that for a long, long time. I begin to fear for him. If only we could distract him, somehow…"

Arwen spun around, beaming. "That's it, Guy Patterson!"

Tom Hanks popped up. "No, we are calling the band the Wonders, not the Oneders! Get it in your heads, people!"

Orlando snorted. "Whatever, mullet man. But how are you going to distract him, Arwen?"

"Obviously I'm going to make a piñata. He's loves piñatas." She darted away. "I'll be right back, Orlando."

"What?!" A fangirl appeared in thin air. "Did you say Orlando?! As in Orlando Bloom?! Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh! I love you, Orlando!"

A million other teenage girls somehow converged on the spot. "We love you too, Orlando!"

Orlando dashed off, running for his life. "Someday I will marry you, Keira! Some day!"

Then Eomer rode up on his horse. He took of his weird mane-like helmet thingy and strode to Aragorn. "Aragorn, my Uncle desperately needs you! He's been turned all old and moldy again."

Oddly enough, everyone had ignored Tom Hanks, who was still standing next to them. "My mom once said uncles were like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

"Oh, get out of here." Eomer shoved Tom Hanks off the cliff edge that just happened to be there. He turned back to Aragorn. "Aragorn, stop tugging the rope and summon Gandalf the White!"

Pandalf the Pink emerged from nothing. Eomer sighed. "I said Gandalf, not Pandalf. Sorry, buddy."

Pandalf turned and evaporated. Meanwhile, Aragorn continued to tug on the rope. "I must tug on the rope. I must."

"Whatever. I'm going to stop Wormtongue from hitting on my sister. See you later, loser."

Eomer galloped away into the sunset. No, really, for some reason he had left his horse behind and just galloped away by himself. Suddenly King Arthur and Patsy ran through, banging coconuts together. Arthur glanced at Aragorn. "Hmmm… I wonder if he wants to join my court in Camelot…"

Just then a Black Rider (or Nazgul, if you want to call them that) had decided to stroll over to the local Wal-Mart and buy some new armored gloves. But as he ambled along, he bumped straight into Arthur, who fell back.

The King of the Britons jumped to his feet, drawing his sword as he did. "It's the Black Knight! I thought I had slain you!"

The Nazgul shook his head. "No, you're mistaken. I'm not the Black Knight. I'm a Black Rider."

"Rider, Knight, there is little difference." Arthur dropped into a fighting stance. "I shall defeat you once more, for you did not join my court at Camelot!"

The Nazgul almost felt sorry for Arthur. Almost. He whipped out a Morgal blade and stabbed the king. Arthur collapsed on the ground. "Ow! I have been bested."

As Patsy dragged him away, the Black Rider sheathed his blade. "That'll show him." A bloodcurdling shriek passed from his throat. He coughed. "Oops. Must have been those burritos I had for breakfast."

He walked away, leaving only Aragorn, still tugging on the rope. "I must tug on the rope. I must."

Will Aragorn ever stop tugging on the rope? Will Arwen distract him with a piñata? And what is the rope's purpose? Find it all out in the next chapter, a pulse-pounding conclusion that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Or not.