Title: Legally Sane
Pairings: HieixOC
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I do own my OC's and the story.
Chapter One: Who're ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
I don't know which day I dislike more…Mondays or Fridays. What? Fridays can be just as bad as Mondays! Just think about it…
Mondays are the start of the week- The day you need to hand in 75 of your homework (handwritten and complete), the day we have morning assembly which is supposed to last fifteen minutes, but usually takes forty-five minutes filled to the brim of mind numbing crap that nobody cares about. It's also the day I happen to have P.E.
Fridays on the other hand are what people usually look forward to…Well any normal person with a positive personality. If you hadn't gathered by now- I'm quite the discontented pessimistic party pooper. It's really not my fault, honestly! I see Fridays as the longest day of the week. Time always slows down to a snail's crawl until you're about ready to rip off each and every nail from all of your fingers in intense frustration. And unfortunately I have a shitload of the most boring subjects imaginable in my five one-hour time slots.
Guess what day it is today? Bingo! It's Friday! And unfortunately…
"Lydia? Are you ready yet?"
My mother's voice floated up from the stairwell, and I gradually flopped onto my opposite side, cracking open one sleep glazed eye to glance blearily at my alarm clock.
-8:45am-
…It hasn't gotten off to a great start. I'm going to be late for school. Again. Shit.
The next few minutes passed by in a flurry of movement- I bounded from one end of my room to the other, pulling on various items of clothing as quickly as possible, whilst trying to tie my hair up in some semblance of a neat ponytail. Out the corner of my eye, I caught sight of my dirt-stained skirt from the night before.
'Did I really get attacked by a monster last night?' I wondered absently, pulling my sock up the length of my calf, 'And that guy…Was he real, or was that part of my tired imagination too?'
A snicker from the entrance to my room drew my attention, and I couldn't help the frustrated snarl that sprung to my lips. It was Hamtaro- Ahem, I mean Keitaro…My younger brother whom I mercilessly embarrass with his pet name 'Hamtaro'; after my favourite Hamster Hero due to the immense chubbiness of his freckled cheeks.
"Whaddya want, Hammy-kun?" I queried- my tone sweetly acidic as I pushed my head through the neck of my school sweater.
His eyes blazed with mild pique, though his mouth stayed in that unsettlingly superior smirk; "That's Keitaro-sama to you baka," came his reply.
"Eh?" I stared blankly at him for a moment, my head cocked to the side. "Whazzat twerp?"
"You're going to do all of my chores this week, as well as your own;" he continued, clasping his hands behind his back.
Now correct me if I am wrong on this one- But aren't younger brothers supposed to fear and adore their older siblings? What on earth was this blatant disrespect?! My lips curled into a feral grin, as I continued to race about my room looking for lost textbooks and stationary.
"And what in Kami-sama's name are ya babbling about, eh? What on earth gives you the idea that I'd willingly do your chores on top of my own?" I was really curious.
That Cheshire grin widened considerably, and from behind his back he produced a small Polaroid of…
My eyes almost popped out of my skull. Despite my quick pace, my movements had become rather jerky in my surprise. The photo was of me…Clutching my Hamtaro plushie…With drool trailing from the corner of my open mouth. Oh. My. God.
My reaction had obviously pleased him, as he laughed; "I see that you are beginning to understand the implications your refusal would cause, anewe."
Why that little…! I scowled darkly, my eyes darting from side to side in contemplation of my dire situation. I was a few inches taller than my younger brother- But despite my diminutive height, I was miles stronger and light-years faster than him.
I grabbed my backpack, and without breaking my panicked stride, I whirled out of the room with awkward grace- landing a solid fist atop my junior sibling's head. He screeched in pain, and I snatched the snapshot from his slack grip.
"Didja really think you could outsmart me, otouto?" I called over my shoulder as I reached the stairs. "Cause that was some serious underestimation ya just demonstrated. Don't mess with the master of Blackmail; you'll end up worse off in the end."
And there ended my little high and mighty speech. Without any further interruptions, I sped down the stairs and through the kitchen, snatching a half eaten rice ball from my father's hand.
"Ittekimasu!" I yelled around the rice in my mouth, practically jumping into my shoes and hurtling out the front door. I barely heard the answering; "Itte irasshai!" from my parents.
In the distance I could see the bus arriving at my stop, and the bottom fell out of my stomach.
'I'm not going to make it…' I thought frantically, willing my legs to move that little bit faster. If I missed the bus, I'd be seriously late. I lifted an arm, and waved furiously at the bus, right where the driver could see me too, but did he wait? No! The bastard freakin left me in a cloud of exhaust fumes with my hand outstretched in supplication. Releasing a pent up sigh, I glanced heavenwards in question- Why me? Then I noticed the clouds had visibly darkened and the thunder rolled off in the distance.
Nope, my day had not gotten off to a good start.
I'd arrived, as predicted earlier, late. So, what's a girl to do? Luckily enough it was still homeroom, but unfortunately I had one of those 'stick-up-the-ass' teachers. My plan of action? Sneak in without anyone noticing me! How hard could it be? It's not like I'm noticeable or anything…
I poked my head around the doorjamb slowly, my almost colourless eyes darting back and forth between the front of the class, to the back. Strangely enough, it seemed my teacher wasn't there. Was she late? Dare I hope?!
Taking a deep breath, I placed one foot on the threshold of the room and slid the rest of my body in after it. Oh yes! She wasn't here! Celebrate for I have fought with tardiness and won!
"Takeshima, you're late!"
I swear I jumped about a foot in the air, as those words were bellowed into my ear. Visibly sweating, I raised both my hands in silent treaty (much like the white flag…without the white flag part) and muttered my deepest apologies.
"Gomen, gomen!!"
She looked like she was ready to eat me for breakfast- That was how fierce that glare was. I'm ashamed to say, I was reduced to a blubbering mass of teenager when confronted with such an expression. She was scary, so sue me!
"Take your seat," she murmured silkily, catching me completely off guard. Perhaps I was going to get away with it this time…It wasn't as if I did this often. I slipped into my seat quietly, and almost had a heart attack when two slim hands slammed down on my clutter-free desk.
"You have a two hour detention with me this evening…" she murmured, then added a discrete; "If you even think of skipping, or arriving late- I'll make sure your life isn't worth living." She paused; "Wakarimasu ka?"
"H-hai, wakarimasu!" I stuttered immediately, blinking rapidly.
She gave me one of those creepy 'I've-gotcha!' smiles, and I cringed. Kami, this woman was scary. Releasing a sigh, I glanced at the clock- This was going to be one long day.
I hate staying late after school…Haha, funny how I seem to start my sentences with something negative…The corridors seemed a lot more disturbing when the students and teachers left…Especially when it was nearing six o'clock in the evening in winter. My homeroom teacher had left half way through my detention with the promise of dire retribution if I even thought about cutting my punishment short. She'd said she'd know if I'd left…There really was something strange about her- And those 'hungry' looks she'd been sending me recently was beginning to creep me out.
"Yare, yare…Why am I the only one that old hag picks on?!" I whined pathetically, shifting the mountain of paper in my arms. Damn, they were beginning to ache from over exertion. What did she think I was? A freakin pro-wrestler?!
It wasn't until I had reached the math's department that a strange chill chased its way up my spine. For some reason, it seemed vaguely familiar…Like that odd feeling I had just before I was attacked by Archibald…That's if it even happened in the first place.
Peeking over my shoulder, I saw that the darkened corridor was just as it had been a few moments ago- There was nothing hiding in the shadows that lined both sides of the hall…Nope, nothing whatsoever to worry about…
Two arms snaked around my waist, and I felt myself hauled backwards into an impossibly hard chest.
"Well, well, well…What do we have here?"
I squeaked, dropping the entire pile of papers onto the floor with an odd thud. I squirmed feebly for a moment or two, flinching as I felt the stranger's breath caress the outer shell of my ear, followed by the flick of something warm and wet…
"Ew you just licked me!" I yelled, twisting my body in such a way to make it easier for me to jam my elbow into his gut. Seconds later and I was on my knees and my would-be attacker a few steps behind gasping for breath.
Now, if he had simply held me in place, I wouldn't have freaked out and nudged him in the stomach- But seriously, he invaded my personal space and he assaulted me…What did he think I'd do? Whimper all meek like? Hell no!
Pushing myself to my feet, I whirled on him with a fist raised, my hair fighting its way out of the constricting ponytail to fall limply over my eyes. Damn I hate my hair! Brushing it out of the way, I glared as icily as I could at the intruder- Only to fall face down onto the floor from immense surprise. My molester was none other than my homeroom teacher!
Jumping to my feet again after a moment's hesitation, I pointed an accusatory finger at Suzuki-sensei (my teacher's name if you hadn't guessed already); "Chotto matte! Teachers aren't supposed to lick their students! What's the matter with you?!"
Suzuki-sensei, leered hungrily at me, absently twirling a lock of russet coloured hair around her finger. "There's nothing wrong with me…You looked particularly tempting this evening, so…I decided to have a taste."
I physically sweatdropped. Seriously. I could actually see the droplet of salty liquid slide down the side of my head. It was nuts! Since when have I ever looked tempting enough to lick?! Eh?
Suzuki-sensei eyed me appraisingly and stepped forward- I took a few steps back. Déjà Vu anyone? Her hand twitched, and my eyes were drawn to the sharp object she clutched tightly between thin fingers. Was that a knife??
"Uh…Suzuki-sensei…?" I began hesitantly, taking yet another awkward step back.
"What is it, Takeshima?" came the purred response.
I gulped audibly; "Uh, why are you wandering around the school with a knife?"
Suzuki-sensei blinked owlishly, and then released a short high pitched cackle- her free hand rubbing the back of her head and cheerfully replied; "Well…Wouldn't it be just a tad messy if I stripped the flesh from your bones with my teeth, rather than gently slicing it off with a knife?"
"As, soo desu ka!" I replied, my confused expression clearing for a moment. "So you mean to eat me?"
"Hai!!"
We both laughed…Then simultaneously stopped a few moments later.
"Nani?!"
The look of hunger she'd worn before had obviously been muted, as her eyes had taken on a red sheen…And the aura she was giving off now was beginning to stifle me- I was terrified!
She advanced on me yet again, that knife of hers lifting so that it was hanging above her head; "Itadakimasu!"
I screamed, and ducked out of the way- The knife imbedding itself up to the hilt in the wall right where my head had been. Oh my God, she was totally serious about eating me! What was up with that? Wasn't there a law against teacher's eating their students???
"Houtteoite!" I yelled over my shoulder, as I hurtled down the darkened corridor.
"Chotto matte kudasai!"
"Iie! What do you think I am? Stupid??"
A loud crash resounded behind me, and I slowed down enough so that I could peer over my shoulder. Had she fallen down? A dustbin slammed into the wall at my side, the trash flying out from the force of the collision. Shrieking, I slipped on a day old banana peel and skidded the few feet down the corridor, my middle smashing into the stairwell railing.
"Itai…" I whined, sliding to the floor in a crumpled heap. The wind had been knocked out of me, and all I could do was lie there until I regained the necessary amount of oxygen needed to help me escape the madwoman.
A shadow loomed over my prone form, and in panic, I scooted back against the railing, my entire body shaking with immense fear. Now everyone knows how scary Suzuki-sensei could be in class…Now take that scare factor and multiply it by infinity and you'd get the sorta feeling I had at that moment. MY TEACHER WAS GOING TO EAT ME!
"S-Suzuki-sensei- I don't think I'd taste very good…I mean I'm a runt! My flesh would be really stringy and tasteless…Like that week old liver they decided to serve us at lunch? Remember that? Huh?!"
Suzuki-sensei sneered at me, the knife raising again- Then descending in slow motion. My mind went blank with terror, the sweat that had built up on the back of my neck slid a sticky trail down my spine to pool at the waistband of my school skirt. The splintering of glass from behind Suzuki-sensei fell on partially deaf ears, and my eyes shut in dull acceptance.
A sudden breeze swept across my face, and instead of being doused with the chill of death, I was embraced in warmth- The steady beat of a human heart audible beneath my cheek. My brow crinkled in mild confusion and my eyes slowly re-opened to focus on…
"Dwarf-chan!?"
The boy growled lowly at the nickname and I had a feeling he was going to drop me for my 'insolence'. Instead, his arms tightened around my shaking form, and he took a giant leap back, landing in a crouch on the stairwell railings, narrowly avoiding the blade my teacher seemed so proficient at wielding.
"Kisama…My name isn't 'Dwarf-chan'…It's Hiei of the Jaganeshi. Remember it foolish ningen, or next time I might actually drop you."
"H-hai!! My bad!!"
Just for the extra security, I wound my arms tightly around his neck and I buried my face in his chest, (o0o he smelt really nice by the way…). Hiei stiffened somewhat at the additional contact, but had obviously decided that this wasn't the time to dispute it.
"Demon…Why are you meddling in the affairs of others?" Suzuki-sensei hissed, her eyes narrowing at the ebon-haired male.
"Pitiful Yokai- Deceiving and then preying on little girls; you really are a nasty piece of work."
My teacher snarled, a noise so inhuman that I decided to take a gander at her condition- Only to see something so frightening that my heart almost stopped.
A stranger had seemed to have taken Suzuki-sensei's place…For the person who faced us now did not have the fierce beauty of my homeroom teacher of several months. No- This person wasn't even female let alone human. True, the hair of this monster had retained it's russet colour and it's height had stayed the same- But that is where the similarities ended. Long fangs protruded sharply over thin lips drawn back in a hateful sneer; the eyes that had once been slanted and the colour of forget-me-nots had widened to three times their original size and were a plain red- No pupils marring the iris. From between emaciated shoulder blades, two extra arms protruded, thin and gangly with three thick fingers tapering off into yellowish claws. No…This was not my Suzuki-sensei…
"W-who is that?" I stammered, staring straight at the disgusting creature.
Before Hiei could answer me, the monster launched itself at us for a final attack- Strangely enough my saviour couldn't seem to move out of the way fast enough. Just as I thought that we were both done for, an almost feminine voice called out;
"Rose whip!"
The creature halted it's movements, the arm that had raised to erase us from the here and now caught in the vice like grip of a simple green vine- thick and covered in thorns. I glanced behind the monster and saw a young female with vibrant red hair land gracefully, the vine held taut in her grip.
"It seems you've gotten yourself in trouble again Hiei- But who would've thought it would be over a girl…"
"Aa; Chibi seems to be entering that stage of his life. How cute."
The large boy from the night before appeared at the redhead's side, a sickeningly superior smirk curving his rather large mouth. I could suddenly feel the anger seething off of Hiei at this point, and I wisely kept my mouth shut.
"Ma, ma…This ain't the time for jokes. Oi teme…" a huskier voice called out, the owner landing directly between the other two- "Pickin on defenceless girls ain't what I'd call fair- So how bout we even up the score, ne?"
The tough guy raised his arm, and pointed his index finger straight at the monster's back.
"Eh…Hiei, perhaps ya'd better move; my finger's gonna pack quite a punch- REI GUN!"
A giant ball of light had accumulated at the tip of this boy's finger during his warning, and it was released in a torrent of static electricity the size of a freakin pizza! Seriously! I released an ear splitting screech- Hiei merely grunted and performed a neat back flip off of the railings.
We landed gracefully on the ground floor, and I watched in awe as the monster's body was entirely vaporized…Correction, it seemed everything below the neck was vaporized for the head landed directly in front of me moments later- Half of the face melted so bad that I couldn't even tell what it had looked like before.
"Oi, Hiei! Are you two alright?"
Hiei grunted an affirmative, and glanced down into my horror stricken eyes.
"S-Suzuki-sensei…?" No response. My body shook harder, and black dots appeared before my eyes, blinding my vision. I couldn't even see him anymore- My body was starting to shut down by itself.
"Lydia?"
His voice sounded distant and the rushing noise in my ears reached it's crescendo. I barely caught the gruff bark of; "Baka onna…" before I fell headfirst into oblivion.
Spirit: Yosh! Another chapter down! Sorry for taking so long, but I was finishing it piece by piece at work...And everyday I realized something was missing, so I had to re-read the chapter and add some extra stuff to keep you guys from getting confused... Anyway, I'd like to thank all those wonderful people who reviewed the last installment; Uh...Anonymous, ROGMethos, Sofie, Shadow-Ninja-Fay, Era and The Evil Bubble (aka Zoe). Y'all know the drill; constructive criticisim is welcomed, as are complimentary reviews! Ja ne!
Japanese Glossary:
Anewe: Sister
Otouto: Little brother
Kami-sama: God
Ittekimasu: I'm leaving
Itte irasshai: Hurry back/ See you later
Gomen: Sorry
Wakarimasu ka?: Do you understand?
Hai wakarimasu: Yes, I understand
Yare yare: My my...
Chotto matte: Wait a minute
As, soo desu ka!: Ah, I see!
Nani?: What?
Itadakimasu: Lets eat
Houtteoite: Leave me alone
Iie: No
Itai: Ouch
Kisama: You bastard (Quite insulting)
Teme: Same as above...
Baka onna: Stupid girl