Title: Legally Sane

Pairings: HieixOC

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I do own my OCs and the story.

Chapter Two: Dude looks like a lady!

I woke up to the familiar sounds of nature beginning to stir; my wrist rubbing awkwardly across my eyes in an effort to remove the sleep that seemed to act as a sealant, keeping my eyelids stuck together. Grunting softly, I pushed myself up on my elbows and gave the room a sleepy once over and surmised that this was not my room.

For one, it was too clean and clutter-free. Secondly, I don't remember becoming a minimalist- This room only had the futon I was currently relaxing on, as well as a small table at the opposite end of the room where some fresh clothes lay piled neatly. I was in hell.

Flopping onto my back, I flung an arm across my face, and contemplated the events of the past two days, and came to the conclusion that I have been cursed…By whom? Well there are more than a few likely candidates; as I've said before, I'm not all that popular amongst my peers or my teachers. But then again, there's only one who abhors my very existence.

Kanzaki-sensei despises me. I can't say that I don't know why, I'd probably hate me too if I slept during my lectures, and ended up besmirching my good teaching name by being the only student who failed the same class three times in a row over the same question. Pathetic really, but that's what I get for not studying.

Now, why should I believe that Kanzaki-sensei would be the most likely candidate? Well, I had heard rumours that the psycho had been seen in the library checking out a book labelled; 'The Dummies Guide to Cursing your Students'.

Anyway, back to my original thought. I have definitely been cursed. I have been attacked by monsters of the span of two days- The first being a really random attack by an extra from 'The Thing', the second by my very own homeroom teacher. This was definitely getting freaky. Then again, would it count as being 'cursed' if I was saved by a seriously hot guy? I guess even curses have their up sides, ne?

The sound of heavy footsteps echoing dully down the hall outside my room drew me out of my thoughts, and I glanced idly at the door. The steps came to an abrupt stop, and the irritated tones of 'Dwarf-chan' filtered through the partition.

"Would you be quiet you hapless oaf? You're going to wake up Ningenkai with your stomping around, let alone the onna in the next room!"

There was a short silence, and I counted to three…

"Nani?! Oi teme, children should be seen and not heard…Or in your case, both would be preferable!"

A growl reverberated out in the hall, and I had to repress a sigh. It was obvious how this little altercation was going to end, so I slipped out from between the sheets, and padded over to the sliding door.

The panel slid open with a flourish, and I stood in the doorway with one hand braced on the wall, my shoulder resting nonchalantly on the jamb. An eyebrow shot up in enquiry, as my gaze shot from one boy to the other, both still grappling with each other on the floor. Hiei was the first to notice my presence, and had obviously decided to end this quickly, as two seconds later, the tall boy was flat on his front, with the dark haired boy's knee jammed between his shoulder blades, and a meaty arm was bent at an almost impossible angle.

"K'so!" the carrot-topped one hissed, squirming within Hiei's grasp; "Chibi, let go!"

"Kisama…You shouldn't provoke someone who is evidently stronger."

I watched the exchange in silence, a hand pressed to my forehead. This conversation wasn't getting anywhere fast…

A chorus of pained yells brought my eyes open with a snap, and I deadpanned at the pile of recently defeated boys on the floor and gaped at the extremely short old woman who was perched casually atop them.

"Damn kids…" she muttered gruffly, "Haven't you got any manners? First you start a fight in my house, and then you disturb this girl's much needed rest…I should teach you boys a lesson!"

The old woman continued her ranting, seemingly oblivious to my presence, and I just watched on in stunned silence. How could a frail woman such as she, have brought down a six foot gorilla and the impressive Hiei without breaking so much as a sweat?

It wasn't long before I realized that all had grown silent, and that eight pairs of eyes were staring directly at me. Woah, rewind! Eight? When had the other five arrived?! I coughed awkwardly into my fisted hand, and drew the folds of my robe together a tad tighter than before.

"Did I…Miss something?" I queried with as much dignity as I could muster.

The silence continued, and it was growing rather uncomfortable. That is up until someone had the sense to break it;

"Konichiwa…Watashi no namae wa Yukina desu…Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!"

The smallest and youngest looking one of the bunch, performed a graceful bow, a shy smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. I really couldn't help what happened next…

"Kawaii!" I shrieked, grabbing Yukina by the front of her intricately tied obi and into my open arms. Now, I may be a total outcast, and possibly even thought of as leaning more towards the masculine end of my sexual spectrum…But I still found adorable things well…Adorable. And this girl was just that.

The others stared at me in stunned curiosity, but the animosity that I had felt emanating from Hiei's stiff form had slowly evaporated, and I began to relax. Reluctantly, I released the mint-haired darling, due to the fact that she was being suffocated by my modest cleavage.

The other's quickly introduced themselves in quick succession; the old woman was Genkai who was Yusuke's (earlier dubbed 'Tough Guy') sensei of a sort…Then there was the chick with big brown eyes…That was Yusuke's part time girlfriend and full time babysitter Keiko…The ditzy girl with the blue hair riiiight at the back was Botan (What the fuck?) and she was Yusuke's assistant for something or other…Kuwabara was the carrot-topped gorilla…And lastly was the redheaded Kurama- And that is where my attention was now fixed.

Kurama seemed to grow uncomfortable, as she took a hesitant step back, a sweatdrop appearing at the side of her head. "…Is something…wrong?"

I blinked, then shook my head vigorously; "No no! It's just that…" I trailed off into shy silence, twirling a strand of hair around my finger, quite uncharacteristic for me too…"…You're a really beautiful lady!"

My sudden outburst was met with shocked stillness. I glanced from one startled face to the next, unsure of whether or not what I had said was the right thing. Perhaps they thought I was gay? I quickly rushed to reassure them that I was not.

"Oh wait! That didn't come out right! I'm not a lesbian or anything…Not that I'm shying from that side of my sexuality, but I like guys! I hope you won't take my earlier comment the wrong way Kura-chan!" My arms waved frantically up and down, my cheeks turning several shades of pink. The last thing I wanted was for all the girls to think I'd start hitting on them or anything….

Yusuke was the first to break the silence- He clutched his stomach and started laughing like there was no tomorrow! The rest followed suit, each in their own stages of hilarity- Well everyone save Hiei and Kurama. Hiei merely sat there with a slight smirk on his mouth- Kurama stood there, scratching the side of her head in embarrassment.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

I was utterly clueless.

Hiei snorted softly, his eyes dancing with amusement; "Kurama is a man."

I blinked, and eyed Kurama from my vantage point. Long silky red hair, liquid green doe-like eyes…Feminine posture…And the fact that I could smell the scent of roses from where I was standing…I slammed a bare foot onto the wooden floorboards and pointed an accusatory finger at the redhead.

"Nuh-uh!" I protested loudly, "That is most definitely a girl!"

Kurama's cheeks darkened a shade; "I think you'll find that I am a man."

No way! This beautiful vision of femininity was a guy?! I decided to find out for myself- There was only one way I knew of to test if a guy was a girl or vice versa.

"Well, I guess I'll have to examine her myself then…" I slowly strode over to where the redhead stood, my arms outstretched in what could only be described as the 'grabby-hands' gesture. "This is the Touchy Feely Test…Nothing and I mean nothing escapes the notice of these fingers!"

The others watched me in awe as I placed both my hands palm down on Kurama's chest, and I slowly felt around for any tell-tale lumps or bumps where breasts would inevitably be. Nope she was as flat as a pancake.

"Well…" I announced, "Not everyone can be blessed with cleavage!"

My statement didn't go down so well, as everyone seemed to fall to the floor simultaneously. Kurama remained where she was, but her head had fallen back in exasperation.

"Kurama isn't 'blessed with cleavage' 'cause he's a guy!" Yusuke yelled out from beneath the pile of his friends.

"Now that's just rude!" I huffed, "Just because she doesn't have enormous breasts, doesn't make her a guy!"

I felt so indignant that these idiots could slander this beauty's name just because she didn't have a chest! I scowled darkly at the group, and patted Kurama's chest consolingly. "I'm sure that when you hit puberty, your feminine attributes will come out in full force!" I assured her happily. "Don't let what these sex-driven fiends say upset you."

"Look…Lydia was it? I am most definitely male…" Kurama's voice seemed to get deeper with each word, and the way she was looking at me gave me the feeling of a male predator about to molest his next female victim.

"U-Uh…" I stammered, taking a quick step back; she took a step forward and caged me in with each arm braced either side of my head. "I've already said that I don't swing that way…"

The predatory glint hadn't disappeared, and I felt myself gulp nervously, pushing myself as far back against the wall as was humanly possible without actually sinking through the wood.

'Ack…She's a woman-eating lesbian!' I screeched in my mind, as she brought herself even closer to my body.

Hiei, who'd been watching this all from the start, decided to step in. One bandaged hand hooked around the waistband of Kurama's jeans, and with one simple movement, he had them pooling around the redhead's ankles. We both froze in amazement.

"There's one other way to tell if a man is really a man…" Hiei drawled, taking a stand beside me.

My lips pursed in indecision, and my eyes never wavered from Kurama's intensely flushed face. Should I look down? If she was a girl, then there'd be no problem…But if she turned out to be the man she'd proclaimed to be…Then I'd be in trouble.

"Gomen…" I murmured apologetically, my eyes staring into hers moments before they dropped to gaze at what she had below the waist. My eyes almost popped out of my skull.

"Aiiieee!" I shrieked, shoving the boy away from me, my hands clapping across my injured eyes. "My virgin eyes, you've tainted me you…You deceitful bastard!"

Kurama was stunned by my sudden movements, and ended up in a most embarrassing position on the floor- Spread-eagled with those jeans still hanging around his ankles. Everyone started laughing again; I suppose my reaction to the truth was quite amusing.

"I told you…" came the voice from my right, and I glared dispassionately at the speaker.

Releasing a sigh, I began my usual string of apologies, my head bobbing up and down in contrition. This meeting hadn't gotten off to a great start.

After that embarrassing situation in the hall, I was allowed to slip back into my room to pull on the spare clothes that had been left out for me- My school uniform had been irreparable, or so Genkai had told me when I'd asked.

Pulling the comb through my hair one last time, I glanced at myself in the full-length mirror and grimaced. I didn't look as bad as I usually did, but the dark circles under my eyes was giving me a 'corpse' look that didn't sit too well with me. Shrugging, I rolled the sleeves of my borrowed sweatshirt up and above my elbows, then bent at the waist to do the same to the jeans. With that accomplished, I slid the door open and padded off down the hallway to the room where everyone had convened.

I nervously shuffled into the room after a moments hesitation at the door, and opted to park my rear next to Hiei who happened to be perched atop the windowsill rather than seated in the semi-circle that had formed around the oval coffee table. Oh well, I don't think I'd want to get stuck in between Yusuke and Kuwabara…They seemed prone to starting fights over the simplest of things, and I didn't want to get caught in the middle.

"O genki desu ka, Lydia?" Genkai queried, sipping absently at the green tea she held cupped in wrinkled hands.

"H-hai! Genki desu, Genkai-san."

"From what I heard, you haven't had the most pleasant of days recently, have you?" she continued after my affirmation.

"Hai…That was the second time I've been attacked by a monster…Though the first time, I thought it might have been the product of my tired imagination. But the second attack totally blew that theory to smithereens, didn't it?" I laughed nervously, rubbing the back of my head.

"Did either of your assailants tell you why they wanted you dead?"

I shrugged, and turned my head to look out of the window behind me. I knew Hiei sensed my sudden stiffness, for he adjusted his position slightly. "Iie…They only said that they wanted to eat me. No hidden motive. I suppose I might appear tasty to monsters."

"I don't find you in the least bit appetizing, baka onna…So that can't be the reason," Hiei piped up, his eyes narrowing a fraction.

That caught my attention. "And what's that supposed to mean, Dwarf-chan?" I challenged, shooting him a curious look over my shoulder.

"What Hiei is trying to say…" Kurama interjected, shooting Hiei a ruffled look as his hand had strayed to the hilt of his sword at the infuriating nickname; "Is that those creatures that attacked you weren't 'monsters', they were 'demons' who had somehow made their way into Ningenkai."

"Yeah, but what has that got to do with Hiei not finding me appetizing?"

There was a pregnant pause, and Hiei rolled his eyes.

"I'm a demon."

"As, soo desu ka?" I smiled brightly, and patted his head. "You're a demon? That's nice."

Off to my left I could hear Kuwabara murmuring a quick; "She doesn't understand, does she?" To which Yusuke replied; "Nah…Her brain will connect the dots properly in a moment or two though."

Hiei was a demon? No way! But then again, I didn't believe him when he said that Kurama was a man…So maybe he was telling the truth.

"A demon…Then that would explain…" I trailed off, thinking back to our first meeting, where he had held the first monster's giant axe away from me with just one hand…"And the time when…" My mind switched to a different scene to where Hiei' had moved with a speed unnatural to humans.

Hiei watched me carefully, looking as if he was ready to jump away from me should I go into hysterics. I didn't of course…Instead I just let out a sigh, and turned around fully to look at him; "I knew there was something strange…A guy who's barely taller than me, holding back a monster four times his size with one hand? That would've been impossible for a human."

"I'm not sure whether you've insulted me or not."

I placed a finger against the corner of my mouth thoughtfully; "I think I might have done both- I insulted your height…And unless you see being thought of as a normal human an insult, I actually complimented you."

"Hn…" he grunted, before pushing himself off of the sill to stalk over to a darkened corner.

"Well, the question we need to pose now, is whether or not these attacks were random. Genkai, what are your thoughts on the matter?"

All of our attention was turned to the old lady, and she sipped lightly at her tea. "Well, the first attack we could've written off as a one time thing…But having her homeroom teacher attack her after school hours during a detention she herself gave…There's got to be something going on here."

All eyes were then on me, and I waved my hands at them in protest.

"Why're you looking at me for? I don't know anything!" I paused. "But I was going on this whole curse theory." My statement was met with blank stares. "Well, there's this teacher at my school who really dislikes me…And apparently he's checked out a book for cursing students from the library a few days ago and…"

I trailed off into silence, my shoulders wilting. "Maybe I'll shut up now."

"Anyway…Until we know what is threatening Lydia…One of you must shadow her movements and keep her out of trouble. Any volunteers?"

Yusuke raised a hand, then quickly lowered it after a swift stab in the ribs from Keiko's elbow; Jealous girlfriend? Not cool. Kurama murmured his apologies- He didn't have enough spare time to keep an eye on me properly, and I'd probably be attacked when he wasn't looking. I rolled my eyes at the lame excuse. The girls couldn't do anything about it, so that left Hiei and Kuwabara.

The carrot haired boy leapt up from his spot and knelt in front of me, squalling; "I, Kuwabara the man shall protect you!" Then he took my hand in his, and firmly planted a sloppy kiss on the knuckles. I repressed a shudder of keen revulsion.

"Ah…Arigato…But I think I can manage by myse-…"

I was instantly cut off by Kuwabara's keening cry of pain, and I found him halfway across the room nursing a bleeding hand. Hiei now stood in the place Kuwabara had previously occupied, his hands thrust deep within his coat pockets, a sullen expression on his face.

"I'll do it."

Everyone, including myself, gaped at Hiei.

"It seems we have a volunteer after all. You know what to do, don't you Hiei?"

He grunted and removed one hand from within his pocket to grasped my own, and swiftly led me out of the room.

It wasn't until we'd stepped out into the cool evening air; me in my school shoes and a borrowed jacket from the cheerful Botan, that I realized that I might have gotten myself into more trouble than before. But strangely enough…I didn't feel any apprehension.

"Ikimasho, baka onna…" he muttered quietly, striding off in what I hoped was the direction of my neighbourhood.

"H-hai!"

Spirit: And another chapter down. I felt so bad that I hadn't updated in an entire week, that I typed out this kinda 'filler' chapter where she meets the whole gang. No monsters in this one, but maybe one might pop up in the next chapter. Thanks to all who have reviewed the last chapter, and I'd like to reiterate that constructive criticism is appreciated, and complimentary reviews even more so. Ja ne!

Japanese Glossary:

"Konichiwa…Watashi no namae wa Yukina desu…Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!": "Hello...My name is Yukia...Pleased to meet you!"

Ikimasho: Lets go.

O genki desu ka?: How are you?

Hai, genki desu: Yes, I'm fine.