Title: Legally Sane
Pairings: HieixOc
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, I do however own my OC and the story.
Chapter Seven: Demons Plus Spice Equals All Things Nice!
'It hurts…'
My first coherent thought in Kami knew how long. I shifted restlessly, white-hot pain lancing up my left arm, and I almost howled in agony. I think I might've as I felt a pair of strong hands holding me down and a gruff voice murmuring something unintelligible in my ear.
"Fuck Hiei! I mean, you were supposed to save her, not fucking barbecue her arm!" Yusuke snapped, and I frowned slightly.
Barbecue whose arm?
"Ma ma, Yusuke! I'm sure Hiei didn't do it on purpose! Look how worried he is!" a bubbly voice interceded, though it was laced with anxiety.
"We all knew you didn't like the girl, but I thought you had more honour than that! Attacking her while she was defenceless, how cowardly can you get?!"
Argh my ears! That voice definitely belonged to Kuwabara, and I hoped to hell he was gonna leave it at that one comment. But what on earth was he talking about? From the sounds of things Hiei hurt an innocent girl by barbecuing her arm…? I'm terribly confused.
"I think everyone needs to calm down- I'm sure all this shouting isn't doing Lydia any good right now." Aha! The voice of reason! Kurama how I love thee!
The angered buzz died down at this, and I noticed throughout the exchange, Hiei hadn't uttered a single word. The hands that had been restraining me before lessened their pressure on my shoulders, and I felt the mattress sink as somebody sat down at my side. Groaning weakly, I managed to crack open one sleep encrusted eye and caught a blurry outline of black. The figure would've been nigh on impossible to distinguish who he actually was, if it wasn't for the narrowed crimson hues currently staring me down.
"Hiei?" I queried faintly.
"Nani?"
"S'hot Hiei…" I managed to slur through dry lips.
He nodded slowly, and turned away for a moment to murmur something to the red blur at his side. I'm guessing that it was Kurama. However instead of opening a window, or anything of the logical sort, the fire demon merely packed a load more blankets on top of me.
I squirmed impatiently, my head tossing from side to side in extreme discomfort. Maybe he hadn't understood what I'd said…Perhaps he thought I said I was cold- Which was entirely plausible as my voice sounded kinda strange. So, I decided to try again.
"Hiei."
"What is it, onna?" Had his voice softened? Nah, probably my imagination.
"S'hot…I said s'hot Hiei…" I reiterated, trying to stress the word 'hot'.
"Hai, wakateru."
I tried to keep my frustration in check. "…Can you take the…Blankets off then?"
"Iie."
I twitched. He sighed deeply, and reached out a hand for something. Moments later and a blissfully cool cloth was draped over my forehead and eyes, obscuring my view. I felt another presence relocate itself closer to me, and I turned my head catching a noseful of rose.
"Kurama?"
"Hai. O genki desu?"
"My arm hurts and I'm hot all over." I pouted some, and I heard him chuckle quietly.
"Well, as long as you're feeling something there can't be much to worry about," he replied, and I think it was his hand that slipped through my matted hair.
I fell silent, and Hiei, well I think it was Hiei, growled softly. The hand stopped its soothing ministrations, and for some reason I felt disappointed. I must've made a noise or something as a smaller one continued Kurama's earlier caresses.
My body relaxed, and I allowed my eyes to flutter closed. I was exhausted, but I remained conscious nonetheless- I wanted to know what happened to me.
Gnawing lightly on my lower lip, I think I surprised them all when I posed my question. "Guys?…What exactly happened to…Me?"
I heard a collective intake of breath, and felt them each look at one other awkwardly.
I waited for an explanation patiently- Wait, I lie. I lay there enjoying a certain someone stroking my hair whilst trying to restrain the contented purr that tried to vibrate in the back of my throat. Alright! I'm hopeless! But if it was Hiei doing the stroking…I don't think any pleasurable sound from my end would likely tick him off. Especially after what had transpired in my kitchen. My face heated at the memory, and Kurama took it as a sign that my fever was taking hold of me again, and replaced the now dry flannel with a cooler one.
Botan was the first to try her hand at explaining; "Well you see…When you were surrounded by the zombies…"
"I blasted you with one of my Jaō Ensatsu techniques," Hiei interjected, voice void of all emotion.
His hand stilled in my hair, but remained where it was. I digested this titbit of information, and managed to nod my head slightly in acknowledgement of his statement.
I moistened my lips and murmured; "You didn't mean to do it though, did you?"
"No," he added reluctantly; "It was aimed at the one choking you, but…"
"Short stuff got his panties in a bunch and lost his cool, that's why he ended up barbecuing your arm," Yusuke slid in smoothly, a touch of humour evident in his tone. It seemed he wasn't too angry at the fire demon now that I was conscious.
Oh so it was my arm that got deep fried like a turkey wing? Now the pain was understandable, and I took great trouble in keeping it out of harms way by laying a protective hand over the charred and bandaged flesh. That was when a heart-stopping thought occurred to me.
"Keisuke? What happened to my little brother?!" I asked, slightly panicked at the thought of him all alone somewhere- perhaps bleeding heavily from all sorts of hideously embellished wounds that my mind created.
"He's alright. We sent Keiko and Shizuru over to your house to check on him, and explain that you would be spending the night here with us at Genkai's temple."
I nodded and relaxed a fraction. So he was alright? Despite the fact that the little jerk had left me to save his own pathetic hide, I couldn't bring myself to be too mad about it. He was most likely guilty as hell for having done it, and guilt always paid off. I'd definitely cash in on it when I got home. But how was I supposed to explain the events of last night…?
'I modified his memory, as well as that other ningen's,' Hiei responded to my mental question.
I didn't think it prudent to ask how he'd done it, so I remained silent on the matter. It was Kuwabara's overexcited squeal that brought me out of my thoughts.
"The power of love that saved you from certain death, Lydia!"
There was a short silence following swiftly on the heels of Kuwabara's addition and my eyebrow rose a notch.
"Kuwabara…" I opened an eye and focused on the tall orange and blue blur at the foot of my bed.
"Yes, oh fair maiden?"
"That sounded so gay…Please refrain from saying that kinda crap around me." I stated, deadpanning as best I could in my current situation.
Yusuke snorted with laughter and Kurama covered his snicker with a fake cough. Kuwabara grinned lopsidedly and shrugged, obviously taking no offence.
Botan stifled a smile and patted the kind oaf on the shoulder. "Tough luck buster- I suggest you keep those unique phrases and use them on Yukina. She's more receptive to them, even if she doesn't understand what you're talking about."
"Amen to that, sister!" Yusuke said loudly, winking at me.
The carrot-top cursed and tackled the brown-eyed boy to the floor, and a good natured scuffle commenced. Highly entertained, I slowly wriggled into a seated position, and the hand that had been in my hair fell into the cradle of my lap and blankets. Hiei blinked and quickly tried to snatch the appendage away before I noticed, but my own hand snaked out and clasped his. His fingers stiffened momentarily as I laced mine through his own bandaged ones, but made no move to force them away.
"Urameshi! You wanna say that again?!"
"Get your ass outta my face you fat lump!"
"You know you like it!"
I giggled, my lips curving into a cheesy grin at the scene, forgetting the pain for the moment. Kurama appeared at my side, thrusting a glass of something cool and green into my free hand. Frowning slightly, I gave him a wary look as I sniffed cautiously at the questionable looking liquid.
I recoiled almost immediately, and fixed the fox with a dour stare. "This stuff reeks like old men's feet." The glass was pressed back into his hands and I huffed slightly. "There is no way in the Three Worlds I'm gonna drink this stuff."
The redhead glanced helplessly at the koorime at my side, and I flashed him a warning glare too, just for insurance. Hiei stared back at Kurama unblinkingly, an eyebrow raised. I could tell from the swift change in the taller boy's face that they were having a mental conversation, and after what seemed like an eternity, Hiei snatched the glass from the other's slack grip, and shoved it under my chin.
I pointedly looked away, ignoring the clammy sweat I was working up from my stubbornness.
"No."
"Drink."
"No."
"Do it."
"No."
"Onna!"
He glared daggers at me, promising painful retribution if I didn't give in and bow down to his masculine superiority. I returned the look with equal fervour, my lips set in a grim line. There was no way in hell that this sex-god could get me to drink that foul substance! I wasn't some hormone driven teenager…I would hold out!
"You can't make me," I dared to add, and his brow furrowed a tad.
"Hn."
I could've bitten my own tongue off at that moment. I should've learnt by now that one couldn't challenge the great Jaganeshi Hiei and not come out unscathed after he's proven you wrong. My mind flittered back to a similar situation which unfortunately involved my tongue and I winced. I tried to dive out of the bed, but the hand that still held mine yanked me back and untangled our laced fingers. Bandaged digits clasped over my nose, squeezing the flared nostrils shut, the flesh of another pressing insistently at the bow of my mouth. I refused to give in! I held my breath, my cheeks puffing out like an irritated hamster's…My eyes narrowing on the tanned beauty.
"Give it up onna, before you pass out," Hiei commanded gruffly, and I shook my head stubbornly.
A minute passed, and I felt myself grow light-headed, my vision darkening a shade at the edges. Damnit, I would hold out! The others watched on in awed silence while Kurama tried to talk Hiei into releasing me before I expired from lack oxygen due to my own stubborn streak.
"Silence fox. You said this would help the onna recover her strength faster, and I'll make her drink it if it's the last thing I do." Hiei took a whiff of the foul concoction and paled slightly, his nose wrinkling with distaste.
I gave him a look that clearly read; 'See? Even you wouldn't touch that shit with a stick!'
But he remained stoically unmoved. The second minute passed, and I distinctly heard the echoed voices of the troubled twosome.
"Hey Urameshi…Her cheeks are turning blue…I doubt she can hold out for much longer;" Kuwabara muttered out the side of his mouth.
Yusuke nodded slowly; "Yeah, Hiei's got her number alright."
He'd barely gotten the last part of his statement out, when I finally caved in. My mouth opened, and I gasped for air like a strangled fish- But what I inhaled wasn't blessed oxygen. No! The bastard immediately tipped that foul brew down my throat, and I ended up coughing a good portion of it back up onto the coverlet and the fire demon himself.
The demon smirked in satisfaction, awkwardly patting me on the back. "Hn. Have you learnt your lesson, Ningen? Never challenge Jaganeshi Hiei."
Was it too much to ask that he remained silent over his victory, rather than bluntly crowing over it without being vulgar??
I snarled weakly; "Y-you vertically impaired midget!…I'm so gonna murder y-you!" I stammered breathlessly.
He snorted in annoyance at the comment and pressed me back into the mattress instead of retaliating which was strange in itself. I felt terribly drowsy and within minutes, I couldn't even find the strength to lift my arm in order to swat the cocky idiot from his perch. The others used my incapacitation as their cue to leave, each murmuring their wishes for me to recover soon, and a promise for something edible later from Botan.
The door slid shut as the last of the group filed out, and I was left with the brooding Hiei. I released a drowsy sigh and eyed the boy at my side blearily. He looked up from his contemplation of the floorboards, a sour expression replacing that of his earlier smug triumph, though his eyes had softened somewhat.
"Sleep onna. I'm not going anywhere."
I nodded slowly and closed my eyes. A hand brushed a few strands of sweat dampened hair from my face, and a smile quirked my lips as I finally succumbed to the dark oblivion of slumber
I woke up once again to the low murmur of voices, and I cautiously rolled onto my stomach. Opening my eyes, I caught the silhouettes of Kurama and Hiei sitting side by side on the windowsill with their backs to me. Tsking softly beneath my breath, I was fully prepared to snuggle into my covers and allow sleep to claim me again, when I heard the topic of their conversation.
"There's nothing going on fox," Hiei insisted in a dead tone, and I caught the stiffness in his shoulders and spine.
"Don't take me for a fool Hiei," came the chiding reply, "I could feel the tension roll off of the two of you in waves, and if the hand holding couldn't escape the notice of Kuwabara, how on earth could you possibly believe it would escape mine?"
My ears pricked up, my cheeks flushing a light shade of pink as I realised what they were discussing. Hiei obviously sensed something, as he sent a sharp look over his shoulder, and I quickly shut my eyes and feigned sleep. I felt those crimson hues boring into my own closed ones, and I prayed that my sleep looked natural. A few moments of silence passed, and I felt him look away.
"She almost poisoned me at her dwelling, but instead of slicing her into tiny pieces I…" he paused, possibly ashamed to have to admit this out loud. "…I wanted to claim her."
Kurama made a surprised noise in the back of his throat, and I opened my eyes, catching his signal for the fire demon to continue.
"I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I'd never felt like that before around her until I had that fire food." He grunted, and shifted restlessly on his perch.
"Did Lydia mention the ingredient you reacted adversely to?" the redhead queried.
"She said it was Jal…Jalopy peppers, and that she put in far more than the recipe required. Baka onna." His head turned, and a shaft of moonlight lit up the pout that was currently playing at the corners of his mouth.
Damn, that was so hot.
Kurama chuckled quietly. "You mean Jalapeno peppers. A 'Jalopy' is an old fashioned American car that was mad in the late 1920s."
"Hn. Whatever."
The fox sweatdropped. "Yes, well."
"Are you going to explain this to me, or not?"
"Well, I've read in certain books…" Kurama began, rubbing the back of his head; "That certain Ningen vegetables can act as an aphrodisiac to certain demons."
"Care to expand on that, before I lose all patience and rip out your precious voice box?" Hiei snapped, his fingers twirling lightly around the hilt of his sword.
Kurama didn't miss this action, and hurriedly tried to explain better. "As you are a fire demon, some ningen spicy vegetables will make you act as if you were in heat."
"So, it has nothing to do with the onna whatsoever."
I felt surge of indignation, followed swiftly by the stabbing pain of disappointment. So he didn't like me in that way? If I'd let it continue, it would've ended up as a way to sate his lust, and he would've been on his merry way? Wow, don't I feel special.
"Faced with Mukuro in such a situation, would you have done the same to her, as you did to Lydia?" The question was sly, but was posed in such an innocent way…
Who the hell was Mukuro?! Jealousy replaced the feeling of disappointment. Man, I had it bad. Still…I couldn't help the sudden flare as my curiosity in his response reared its ugly head.
"Don't ask such pointless questions fox. You know the answer to that."
…What the hell kinda answer was that?? Did the bastard know I was awake, and wanted to torture me for eavesdropping in the first place?!
"Then the answer to your rhetorical question is a negative, I'm afraid."
"…"
"It's only logical- You'd only want to claim someone you would deem equal…" At Hiei's scoff, Kurama added, "Or someone you found attractive in both body and mind. Not wanting to bed Mukuro in the same scenario only leads to the conclusion that you find Lydia more than passable."
Hiei remained silent, and Kurama sighed, resting a light hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Don't…Be so set against this. Not all humans are bad, and Lydia is proof of this- As is Yusuke and Kuwabara…Even Botan."
The fire demon huffed and sidled away from the redhead. Taking this as his cue to follow his companion's earlier actions, Kurama slipped off of the windowsill and slowly strode over to the sliding door that led to the hall. He paused, glancing at me, and our eyes connected. He smiled serenely at me, and gave me a quick salute.
"You won't be able to deny this Hiei if it happens again you know." was his parting shot as the door slid shut with a soft thunk, leaving the two of us to draw our own conclusions from the conversation.
"Hn."
Hiei heaved a confused sigh, and leapt out of the window, vanishing into the dark of the night. I sat up slowly, my free hand rubbing gently over my bandaged arm to soothe the irritated flesh beneath. My mind was in turmoil and I huffed softly beneath my breath. So Hiei found me 'more than passable', eh? Kurama believed he was in denial, and the knowledge caused a small smirk to form on my lips. The fox knew the koorime better than anyone…So perhaps I had a chance!
Exhaustion overwhelmed me for the third time in a space of a few hours, and I quickly shifted myself into a comfortable position. I fell asleep with one thought still in my mind;
Next time, I'll definitely be sure to spike his food with Jalapeno peppers.
Spirit: Yosh! A filler chapter if you will to answer all those wonderful questions you might've had from the last installment. I'd once again like to thank all those who reviewed, and to reiterate that constructive criticism is appreciated and complimentary reviews even more so!
Question Time!
1) Did Hiei break the baka's hand?
No, just mildly sprained it! Possibly popped one of his knuckles...Who knows?
2) How do you know so much Japanese? Do you have a dictionary or something?
Shh...It's a secret.
3) Is Lydia at Yusuke's or Kurama's school?
Neither, actually. I wanted her to be totally separated from the original characters of the story- Their meeting seems more plausible that way.
4) Why did the demon dog pop up in the freezer?
Heh, heh...I'm sorry, I was up all night watching the Ghostbuster films...And so I used it as a basis for that particular chapter. It was funny though, right?!
5) What the hell was up with Hiei in chapter six?!
Well, I did explain it in this chapter...But for those who speed read I'll say it again. Certain demons are affected sexually by certain human vegetables- For fire demons, spicy vegetables get them all hot and horny- And seeing as Lydia used six Jalapeno peppers (everyone knows how motherfucking hot they are), Hiei got super turned on, and put him into a premature state of heat well before time. Note that this concept is my idea. Don't steal.