Title: Legally Sane

Pairings: HieixOc

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, I do own Lydia, the story and these...Strange Bad Guys. Oh, and E.M.O.

Chapter Nine: E.M.O- Introducing The Bad Guys

I was freaking late. Again! I swear, my tardiness is going to get me cruelly incinerated via my Master's hand if I wasn't careful- The last time I'd appeared later than I should have, I ended up losing my right ear. And oh, what a beautiful ear it was! No self-respecting demon female would ever look at a man with only one ear! Woe is me…

Anyway, I managed to flit from my chambers at the opposite side of the mansion to the other in just under ten seconds- Slow under most people's standards, but extremely fast for me. What kind of demon am I, that moving the length of a building in ten seconds is actually slow? I am what humans call a Sloth.

No, I don't actually look like those filthy creatures, but I do share a common laziness with them. I'm actually bright blue, three feet tall with only one ear and a long snout. I guess by human standards I'd be labelled ugly, but to be perfectly honest, among my own species I am revered as a God.

Alright, I lie. They too find me something of an eyesore, and I'm not particularly cool either. I was the demon who always got picked on by the others, as my powers didn't come to me until I was a hundred years old; fifty years too late. What can I say? I'm a late bloomer.

Moving on. I was now outside the small awning that led to the stage my Master was currently performing on, and I quickly eased myself inside, passing various fawning demon females…As well as Turk. Shit.

"Oh-ho! What's this? Little Baldric late again?" he sneered, pushing his hairy face as close to my own hairless one as possible without actually kissing me by mistake.

If you hadn't guessed, that was my name. Baldric. I loathed my mother for giving me such a weak name. Why couldn't she have called me Thor, or Draconius? What the fuck did she call me Baldric for?!

I grinned nervously despite my inward tirade, and tried to sidestep the Boar demon. Of course, as I'd stated before, my speed is nothing compared to everyone else's, and even though Turk was packing a lot more weight than I was…He still moved faster than me.

I ended up walking into his sweat streaked chest.

Recoiling immediately, I adjusted my faded green robes, and drew myself up to an impossibly tall three foot one. Turk had about seven extra feet on me, so the tip of my remaining ear only reached his exposed nipple. Wonderful.

"Gomen…" I squeaked, taking an awkward step back. "Uhm, Turk?" He grunted. "Would you mind letting me past? I have to be there to support the Master."

Turk merely glowered at me, but let me pass nonetheless. He knew that the Master would need my intellect, no matter how hard it was to get me to put the effort into his speeches, and should I be prevented from carrying out my job when I felt motivated enough to do it, then the person would find himself severely punished and probably hanging off the end of a skewer.

"The time is almost upon us!"

I released a sigh, and rested my shoulder against the metal pole at my side. It was 'The Speech'- Sure it was I who had created this ridiculous piece of drivel jam packed with the most despicable clichés known to man, but still, I couldn't help but cringe every time I heard it. It very much resembled the Good Guy's speech that they usually spouted in their pursuit of righteousness should us Evil Doers suggest something that was against their warped version of a Man's Code of Honour- Only it motivated the Bad Guys.

"We have received word from Ghul, that the ningen female Takeshima Lydia is in actual fact the Keymaster! Rejoice for the time when Ningenkai and Makai become merged is drawing near!" my Master screeched, his high pitched tone grating on my sensitive hearing.

Who is Ghul? Ghul is the demon dog we sent about a week ago to scope out the ningen's capacity for being the Keymaster. Of course, he'd ended up decapitated by the female's unlikely protector Jaganeshi Hiei, but he still managed to contact me telepathically before he'd faded from existence to give me the good news.

Okay, now that I have told you who I was, and who Ghul was…You're probably wondering who all of us are as a whole, right?

Well, we are the collective formally known as The E.M.O. Wanna know what that stands for? The Evil Men Organization- Lame name, but it serves its purpose, ne? Originally, the group had only started out with the four of us- My Master, Harold whom we merely call Kage-Sama as he despises his own name as much as I loathe my own; myself (I didn't warrant a cool nickname), Turk and Humperdink, Turk's younger sister who likes to dress up as a man. She looks like one, so it doesn't really matter all that much.

Fifty years later, and we'd grown considerably large. We had over two hundred loyal followers here in Ningenkai, and the backing of most of the Demon Lords and their underlings back in Makai. As I said, we'd grown considerably in a short space of time. Now seeing as we have S-class and A-class demons on our side, it must make one wonder why we haven't taken over the Human Realm yet.

Two words. Kekkai Barrier. Heard of it? It's that wonderful net shaped energy that blocks all routes out of Makai and was placed their thousands upon thousands of years ago by the bloody King of Hell and his pitiful offspring. Many of the lower class Yokai with only the basic of instincts (that of to feed and kill) are allowed through this net, as they are not seen as much of a threat- Even if hundreds of them spilled through at once. From B-class all the way up to S-class…They couldn't even touch the barrier, let alone get through it.

So now we were stuck.

Until of course, Master had a premonition. Well, it was the first one he'd had in hundreds of years, and it wasn't all that specific…But after three weeks of contemplating it's meaning, we finally realised that there was another way to allow the higher class Yokai into Ningenkai without bypassing the Kekkai Barrier. By using a human who had been infected with Yokai blood, we could open a gate between the two worlds, and thus release all kinds of chaos.

"…Baldric?"

"Yes, Master?" I snapped to attention, and glanced enquiringly at the taller form of my human-esque Boss.

He was tall; shorter than Turk but still tall compared to myself. His hair was chin length and grey, and his eyes were a calculating gold- Though there wasn't too much substance behind them, he just thought it looked cool to give off the impression that he was thinking up many ways to ensure you get a painful death. He was a Bat demon, though the only things that showed him as such, were the pointed bat wings behind his elongated ears and the sharp incisors that forever poked over thin lips. In short, I thought him to be beautiful…Not in a gay sense mind you. I was pure Hetero.

"The Elders want us to retrieve the girl," he stated.

"I see…Who are you thinking of sending?" I asked, and when he looked expectantly at me, I blanched. "W-wait a minute! You can't send me! I'd only end up botching the job, and I'd lose another ear. Send Turk."

One must wonder why I was able to talk to my Master like that. It's all in the tone. If I made myself sound incompetent, then my Master would inevitably respond in kind.

"I was joking you pitiful excuse of a Yokai;" he sneered, his words dripping with venom. "Don't get your hopes up, I was already willing to send Turk on the job. He is strong, fast and his hide is tough- Unlike yours."

I bowed my head, remaining silent.

"When are you thinking of kidnapping her, My Lord?"

"Tomorrow evening. I hear the moon wanes, and the Fire Demon's strength follows its example."

I blinked, and pulled out a small pocket book with the Human and Demon calendar in it; the dates overlapping so that it was easier to tell the times of certain events here. My eyes widened as I'd circled the date in brilliant red marker.

'Mating Season'

My Master released a sinister chuckle at my discovery; "Yes, he'll be far too focused on staying as far away from that girl as possible, so that he doesn't feel the pull of attraction. The fox will similarly be afflicted, so that only leaves the Half-breed and his human. It'll be easier to take her then."

I regarded my Master with suspicion, wondering where the hell he was getting this information. Practically everyone knew he was the Elders' puppet, and that he rarely, if ever, showed the initiative to think on his own. That was when I noticed the awkward way he was holding his left hand.

I sighed, and snagged his pale wrist, opening his now tightly curled fingers. I deadpanned at what I saw.

"…You were reading all of that stuff off of your hand, weren't you?" I accused dryly, and he flushed batting me away.

"I changed some of it into my own words!" he responded indignantly.

"Oh yes, instead of saying; 'It will be easier to kidnap her then', you said; 'It'll be easier to take her then'. Big improvement boss."

He hissed at me, and I sweatdropped. "Gomen nasai!"

Only slightly mollified, the Bat demon turned abruptly on his heel, and strode away from me quickly. "Make the appropriate arrangements, Baldric. We wouldn't want anything to happen to Turk, now would we?"

I nodded complacently, and strode off in the opposite direction. So much work to do and so little time, but I wouldn't trade it for Turk's job no sir.

I'm just glad that I don't have to go.

Spirit: As promised, I have given you the Bad Guy's POV. Well, Baldric's POV. I have had a request for a chapter or part of a chapter in Hiei and/or Kurama's POV. That'll happen in Chapter Ten. I know this chapter was short, but there wasn't too much to say on their part. In Chapter Eleven, they will have a lot of screentime with Lydia.

I'd also like to thank those who reviewed the last chapter, and to apologise in advance if I don't churn out Chapter Ten within the next couple of days. Y'all know the drill, constructive criticism is appreciated, and complimentary reviews even more so!