'Kay guys. Here we are at chapter 13. Won't say much soo:

Enjoy!

My Way
by AzureChan

Chapter 13:

She stayed awake through the whole ordeal.

Medical experts cleaned her wounds and attended her hurts. They padded her lower body and explained that the stress that had been building for months had kept her body from naturally producing the eggs which, according to her internal clock, would be released from her body in the cleansing process every female knew as her menstrual cycle. Due to the heat, the extremely stressful circumstances and a peculiar feminine-like urgency—Usagi credited it to her moment of revelation when she halted time—her loins had burst forth and she had, quite unnaturally, begun her cycle. They explained this as nicely as they could.

The bandages had been removed from Usagi's upper half and her breasts hung free and sore, grown but still smaller than they should have been due to her continuous athletic activity at the camp. She was showered and her hair had been washed so that the cut in her head could be attended to.

She sat on a medical cot, hands between her knees and head hung low, her hair pulled back in a loose, flowing pony tail and her femininity roughened but openly apparent. Beside her was a closed door, hiding a small office that smelled of sandpaper and bandages, and inside that office was Kihono and Mikoshi, and the medical expert. Their voices rose steadily, then dropped. Rose steadily, and dropped. But through all of the speech, Usagi could only hear "treason.." ringing inside of her head like a loud, silencing sentence.

On either side of her cot stood two uniformed men, badges littered all over their deep olive suits. Usagi's eyes wandered over to one of the men's polished black boots, and she noticed, distantly, that she could almost see her face in his shoes. Their hands were positioned neatly behind their backs, but Usagi had seen the handcuffs before Kihono and Mikoshi had attended the meeting with the medical expert.

Her plan had failed.

Her attempts to frame Wufei had failed, and so her plan had failed. When she realized she was bleeding, Usagi had planned on throwing the knife at Wufei to make it look like he'd stabbed her. Unfortunately, when her body was probed and prodded for the knife wound, the other boys found female attributes instead of a cut. The scariest part had been the hunger in some of the other boys' eyes when they'd discovered the differences in 'Shenji'. Some hands had lingered a little too long, some eyes had glittered a little too brightly. But Kihono and Mikoshi were outraged, and they had had her cleaned. Now, she was probably being sentenced.

And through it all, she hadn't seen Trowa once.

He was supposed to be here, she thought. He's not even here to comfort me…

The door swung open. Usagi stood abruptly, eyes wide and afraid, mouth trembling and mind racing. "I-I'm.. I-I…"

Kihono silenced the girl with his stare. "What is your name, female?" he all but spat out.

"Usagi. Usagi Tsukino," she breathed. "I—"

"Do you know the penalty for posing as a man in a boot camp?" Mikoshi interrupted, disappointment deep within the gray of her eyes.

Usagi shook her head and felt that familiar prickling in her eyes.

"It's death, Tsukino."

Duo lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, silence pressing heavy in the room. His hurts were forgotten for the moment. "Man," he breathed. "Man, man, man."

"Woman," Wufei corrected through clenched teeth. "Filthy, stinking woman. A waste of breath and my time." His fists were balled so tightly that his knuckles bled white. "She should be punished."

"She will be." All eyes turned to Hiiro. "It's treason," he continued in his slow, deep voice. "She posed as a man. The price is death."

"Death?" Duo sat up straight, eyes wide. "Dude.. you can't be serious. What's so bad about acting like a guy? All they need to do is send her ass home. It's not like she killed someone."

"She's wasted precious training time, both mine and Kihono's. She's wasting time as we speak. Have you forgotten about the war?"

He scowled, remembering that new hatred he had for Hiiro. "So, you're saying we should just kill her off, then? That's bullshit. I thought this colony had more morals than that."

Wufei glared hotly at Duo. "You, boy, have no idea of what you speak about. This colony is to be one of strength, and we have no time for a woman to screw everything up. We have worked hard to be soldiers!"

Duo glared right back. "Don't give me that crap, Wufei. I'm in no mood." He looked over at Hiiro. "Man, all I'm saying is that they should at least let her live. Hell, punish her, whatever. But don't kill a girl just for acting like a guy. She didn't even do anything!"

"It's not my decision, Duo," Hiiro replied carelessly. "It's policy."

"Policy. Shit. Some policy. I," Duo leaned back in his bed, "think it's pure bullshit."

Wufei chuckled darkly. "It seems treason has many friends. You sound as if you've developed feelings for this woman-child."

"Yeah, Wufei," Duo sneered, "lemme tell you all about it."

"You're both children." Hiiro reprimanded. "Kihono will decide what is to be done with the girl. Both of you should stop worrying about it and concentrate on more important matters, such as this war."

Wufei sniffed angrily. "It just shows that a woman will never be a leader of men."

"Yeah," Duo interjected, "and I guess Relena is just a man in disguise, huh?"

The look he got was just as nasty as it was cold.

Usagi sat, shivering, on the ground in The Room, hours after her medical treatment. The wind outside had decided to blow mercilessly, and the thin cotton T-shirt she wore did nothing to conduct any heat. Not to mention she was lacking a bra.

The sky was a gloomy, moody blue and the clouds were a dull brownish color, and she sat, awaiting her fate, and thinking of past events.

"You wanted to be a man so badly," Kihono had said, "that you were willing to risk death to become one?"

Usagi shook her head. "It's something more personal."

"Tsukino," Mikoshi ventured. "We don't have time for you to elude our questions. Answer directly. This is an order."

"Okay," her eyes remained grounded. "My intentions ran deeper…"

Kihono visibly bristled. "And your intentions were…?"

"My family," Usagi's eyes brimmed with water. "My family was all killed in the war. My friends—most of my friends—are either a part of it, or killed as well. I have nothing left, and I want to fight. I want to avenge."

"Getting revenge. Foolish." Mikoshi's words were ice, hard and merciless. "We are in a war, Tsukino. People die all of the time. You think the other cadets out there haven't lost someone due to the war? Why do you think half of those boys are even here?"

Usagi shook her head once more. "It's not the same. I'm not like them."

"You're a female. We cannot use you in this war! Your penalty is death, Tsukino. What more is there to say?"

Usagi glared at the ground, tears threatening to ruin her already blurred vision. "You're a woman, too—"

"Mikoshi is trained—was trained for years. She was trained properly. She went through the correct procedures. This is not a game, Tsukino. Did you think you wouldn't be found out? A woman is a woman, and a man is a man. If nature had intended otherwise, we would all be genderless."

She didn't even look at him. Instead, Usagi lifted her head and looked at Mikoshi. "My love. My Mamoru, he died protecting me. He died to save my life. How could you ever understand what this felt like? I have nothing left. I… I only have one goal in life left."

Mikoshi stiffened. "Well?"

"I will kill the very people who killed my family! I will kill those who killed my friends, my love… my life."

Kihono glanced at Mikoshi. "And you're training in a military camp…"

"To repay those who stole from me what matters most." Her eyes held fire. "I lost everything I love to this war, and I will get it back somehow, some way. I will. I—"

"You speak," Mikoshi said slowly, "you speak as if you know who destroyed your family and friends."

Usagi nodded vigorously. "I do," her eyes widened eagerly. "I do, and I will stop at nothing to get revenge."

Kihono narrowed his eyes. "It's all foolish, girl. Pretending to be a man—what were you thinking?"

"I see nothing else wrong." She was angry, now. They weren't even listening to her. "All I hear is that you accuse me of 'pretending to be a man.' So, what? What crimes have I caused? If women are regarded as weak and useless, then what surprise is it to you that I pretended to be a man instead? I am nothing if not myself, and if I cannot be myself, then I am nothing. So, I decided to be someone else."

Mikoshi sighed, agitated. "What makes you think you can destroy Oz, anyhow? You would be killed the instant you walked into their hands. Anger without control is just foolish. You are a pitiful trainee. What makes you think you can do anything of purpose to 'avenge' your losses?"

She didn't understand. Oz? She didn't want anything to do with Oz. Who was Oz? She wanted the Alliance. "Excuse me," she said, and a small siren sounded in her ear. A warning. "I don't know of any 'Oz', and I'm not after any 'Oz.'"

Kihono stiffened and stood taller. "Then who?" His eyes bore into the girl's, awaiting her answer.

Usagi looked from Mikoshi to Kihono, noting their identical and challenging gazes. She was afraid and her anger had vanished, leaving her weak. "The… the Alliance. They're the ones who—"

Mikoshi had closed her eyes, almost painfully.

"Are you telling me," his tone was pinched, body completely tense, fists clenched. "Are you telling me that you wish to destroy the Alliance, the very people you are training to fight for? Are you telling me that you are sided with Oz, the people we are at war with? Are you so foolish as to openly state your treason to this colony?"

Usagi was in pure terror. The Alliance? She was fighting for the Alliance? But Setsuna.. Setsuna had said she could become a Gundam Pilot, and then she could avenge her family and friends! Setsuna had led her here… Setsuna had… "Betrayed me." her voice was hushed, merely above a whisper, awed and subdued. Her heart beat fast twice, then once, then it slowed.

"Treason, purely." Mikoshi's eyes were open and angry. "You, Usagi Tsukino, are charged with treason. Your penalty is death. Tomorrow, at dawn, your execution will be carried out in front of all cadets as a lesson to Oz. Treason, Usagi Tsukino… Treason…"

"Treason." She spoke the word bitterly, coldly. "Treason and betrayal run hand-in-hand, eh, Setsuna?" She glanced quickly at the sky and laughed harshly. "You really had me going, there. You really fooled me, this time." Her laughter turned to hate, thick and apparent. "I trusted you," she whispered angrily. "I trusted you, and you lead me into this trap."

As if in reply, the sky brightened a bit, and a soft rumbling carried its way through the shivering trees. A storm. The moody blue deepened until a dusky black covered the camp, and the winds picked up again, bringing with them bits of rain.

She ignored it.

"I put my life on the line for you. All of you. You, Setsuna, the Guardian of Time—and what time am I in? You didn't foresee this! You, the Guardian of fucking Time!"

The winds howled and the rain splattered into her iron cage, stinging her flushed cheeks and ripping through her loosely bound hair.

"Ai…" Usagi felt a heavy weight on her chest, felt beaten and used. "I tried giving my all for you, Mamoru. I tried doing this for you, for everyone I love. I tried doing this for all of you. I tried…so hard…" Bitter tears snuck into her eyes and fell weightlessly, and she let them. The wind began to rub and scratch against her skin, and she welcomed it. The rain pelted the flesh that once felt soft as a baby's bottom, and she reveled in it. It felt good, she thought. The pain. The anger. The hate.

It all felt so good.

And she loved it.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, taking a deep breath. "Well now, Usagi," she murmured almost dreamily to herself. "You're considered a criminal. They hate you here, they hated you there," she was referring to her own time-frame. "They all want you dead. What're you going to do, little Usako?" The pet-name was spat out. A part of her past. A part of her history.

She leaned her head forward and stared out at the scenery. There were two men on watch, and the rest of the camp was sleep. No one had counted on a criminal, so the security was loose, minimal. The men stood by either side of her cage door, and she couldn't tell if they were awake or asleep. Both leaned against either side of her door, drooping.

"Sleeping idiots," she whispered to herself.

First things first. She couldn't stay in the cage, or the camp. Her execution was scheduled for dawn, and by the looks of it, she only had about three hours until that point. The sky was angry and black, and the winds were still high, and the rain still stung. She needed to get out of the camp under the cover of darkness and the weather. But how?

She looked around the cage. Nothing. The floor of the cage was solid iron, impenetrable. The back wall of the cage was also solid iron, as was the ceiling and the walls to her right and left. The only barred part of her cage was the front wall, which was actually just a row of vertical bars all the way across. The only thing she had with her was the shirt on her back, her sweat pants, and no shoes.

She looked down at her clothes. The shirt was matted with blood and dirt, and the sweatpants were as well. Pitiful. Stupid, dirty clothing. The only clean part was the drawstring on her sweatpants, and—

Wait a minute.

She tugged at the right drawstring. It slid a little in her pants, and the she pulled until she was holding the whole string in her hands. She glanced quickly at the guard to her right, then slid over to him on her hands and knees, stretching the string out behind his neck. It was much longer than it needed to be, and if this was going to work, she'd have to pull it extra tight. She licked her lips and glanced at the guard to the left. He was sleeping soundly. If she was going to do this, she would have to do it quickly, and thoroughly.

She sat back only a moment to gather her strength and courage. She told herself that if wasn't Usagi who was doing this, because Usagi had been hurt and misused. It was someone else. Someone else who wanted answers and revenge. Revenge…

She tightened her grip around the string.

Revenge…

She pulled it tight, and rested it gently around the front of the first guard's neck.

Revenge…

Like both guards, Usagi Tsukino died that night.

Oooh, some darkness in Usagi. Please, no one argue with me about her change. If you had been through this much and you were feeling as she felt, you'd be a little dark too :p Chapter 14 coming soon!

AzureChan